Who I Am
and Who I Show To the World
It’s weird, really.
I’m a breathing,
human just like everyone else,
I look at Who I Am and think
Don’t show that.
Don’t say that.
No one would care.
You’ll get made fun of.
Am I afraid to accept myself for the person I Am
rather than the Person Society Wants Me To Be?
Am I afraid of the possible Rejection by my peers
who look down on those different from the usual and
Praise those who conform to their standards?
Is it fear?
Do I just not care? Maybe.
Or maybe the problem is that I’ve been told
Who I Am
and How I Feel
and How I Should React
and What I’m Good At
and What I’m Bad At
and Who I Should Befriend
and Who I Should Date
and Every Other Little Thing That Makes Up Who I Am
since the moment I was born.
My parents involvement decides on
my criminal record,
my emotional intelligence,
My friends tell me
what’s cool and what’s not,
who’s cool and who’s not,
who I should date and who I’m crazy to like,
what subjects I excel in and which I don’t.
Who are they?
Are they me?
Or am I them and they’re projections from my mind tricking me into thinking I’m worthless?
How do they know Who I Am?
I like anime.
I like One Direction and Bring Me the Horizon.
I like girls. And boys.
(Apparently I’m “confused”.)
(I know I’m not “confused”.)
I like reading but have no time.
I hate taking time to sleep and eat,
but love sleeping and food.
I fall asleep during tests because I stay up too late.
I love history and english.
I love to talk.
I make witty comments inside my head that my best friend used to laugh at.
I’m a good kid overall.
I don’t trust people.
I think dark thoughts, thoughts I can’t share
for if I did then they’d be acknowledged
and then I’d know they’re real.
I hide behind the daily mask
I don’t want to show the last precious secrets I have left.
The last things I can hold dear to my heart
even though they have little to no
some may call it dumb.
But I’m All I Have Left To Count On.