The Hidden Masquerade

By: Darien Heminger

Sitting in her room thinking about the past

Wondering how life flew by so fast.

Wondering how she could have wasted so much time

Trying to impress other people and ignoring all the signs.

Her past haunts her, can’t sleep at night.

 Crying herself to sleep but, refusing to give up the fight.

They promised her they’d never leave

Was she really that naïve?

She lays in bed and tossed and turned

She needs to straighten up, eventually she’ll learn.

Hiding the pain and anger form her friends,

They need someone strong who is always there for them.

Loyal to the bone,

But when in need of someone to listen, feels all alone.

Going home every day, tired, and beaten down

Walking in her house, trying to hide the frown.

Laying in her bed, closing her eyes

All alone in the dark, her faith slowly dies.

She wakes up, it’s now junior year.

She looks in the mirror, she’s in tears.

Wiping off the mascara, and eyeliner,

She puts on some clothes, goes back to bed, and sets the timer.

The alarm goes off; it’s time to go to the bus

She walks out of the house and throws on a smile without a fuss.

She has to stay happy, can’t let anyone see the pain.

This feeling is so real, she can’t even explain

How much effort it takes to keep up this act,

It hurts that living is this hard and that’s a fact.

She has to stay strong,

Can’t shed a tear regardless of what life brings along.

24 hours and day, 7 days a week

She keeps to herself, acting so meek.

The days are the same,

365 of them and not one deserves fame.

She sits and thinks, “Why can’t life just end”?

The brokenness inside, no one can mend.

On the outside, she’s happy and everything is alright.

But on the inside, she might just lose the fight,

She’s tired of pretending and lying to everyone.

The pain is getting worse, she’s just about done.

She goes to sleep, trying to forget.

She promises herself it’s not over, not yet.

It’s finally senior year,

Thinking about my life, no reason for shedding a tear.

I have no reason to be sad,

I have everyone I need, my brother, my mom, and my dad.

I have straightened up, I finally learned.

I lay in bed, I no longer toss and turn.

I have someone special in my life,

He is nine years old, sweet as can be, and sharp as a knife.

From the beginning, He’s always been there for me,

But life blinded me so I couldn’t see

Everyday I wrap my arms around him and smile a smile that’s so real you can tell.

He is the reason life is no longer a living hell

He’s my best friend

My ride or die until the end.

I don’t hide behind a mask anymore

Because this is who I am on both sides of the door

I laugh a real laugh and I smile a real smile

Because I know I have more people there for me now than I’ve had in a while

My family is what keeps me where I am today

But, my brother is why I stay smiling to this day.

We may argue and we may fight

But I love him more than anything from daytime until night.

He is my world, my life, and my heart

No matter what, nothing and no one will tear that apart.

Every day I go to school

I am happy, and everything is cool.

I remember to stay strong

 Realizing I have been smiling all along

I go home and crack open some books

Studying for tests while my mom cooks

Hours go by

Mom goes outside

I’m all alone in the house, silent as ever

I sit and think, “I kind of like this better”

The door opens and breaks the silence

Little footsteps come through the house while I’m studying for science

I look up and see the reason why I still chase my dreams,

 “Day-e-n can you seep wif me (Darien can you sleep with me)?” my Autistic little brother screams.