My Own Pandora's Box

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The world begins to pound all around me.

It spins and spins until I feel lost. 
Panic.
Fear. 
I cling to this life I long not to belong to
The familiar scent of my brother's spray-on-sunblock making me cry
The irony in everything I say or do.
The mask I constructed many years ago has begun to wither away with age. 
But I can still wear it with ease and it's tricked so many so easily
Why does that little box tempt me so
It's my own little Pandora's box, considering Pandora's blade never worked. 
I've opened it so many times
Wondering if I could get away with it. 
I feel the pain start to draw me in.
It hurts more than I imagined, but the idea of being gone is enough to keep going.
Yet that scent of sunscreen still draws me back
And I cling to it like my life source
My reason for being here normally wishes I wasn't
And that's killing me inside
He screams and yells at me, making me worthless.
Yet without me, he might be gone by now. 
I am his protector, so I must stay in this wretched life
This wretched world bashes me down to make me hurt
Then heals me to hurt me once more.
My brother's words always sting, but I still know I am needed.
As I try once more, I realize something.
Maybe I won't need my Pandora's box after all
The sunscreen is doing Pandora's job. 
 

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