My Struggle With Depression (And Ways You Can Get Better)


I will not be beaten by my own mind,

Even though life has been pretty unkind

This unipolar depression and social anxiety

Will not get the best of me

I struggled for so long in the dark

Drowned in my own silence, missed the mark

Afraid of help, afraid to ask

If it had been legal, I’d have taken up a flask

Apathy and worry battled for dominance,

My illness was synonymous to prominence

I had many people’s favor,

And my grades didnt fall (though they wavered),

So everyone said I was fine

I guess I wasn’t the type, or I didn’t meet some requirement line

Really, though, I was doing nothing but crying and lying

I spent too much time and effort in denying

I couldn’t make it to school, couldn’t stay, couldn’t concentrate

People always say that mental illness is up for debate,

And all those years I spent making up tales didn’t help

I convinced people that I had perfect mental health

So when I told the truth no one believed me

It took a very long time for me to be set free

I kept convincing myself that nothing was wrong

Kept singing the same old song, nothing’s wrong

I was just lazy, just dumb, just needed to step up;

Couldn’t comprehend that my mind needed a close-up

Didn’t realize that it was something more than work ethic

but that I needed a medic, sometimes you’ve got to go synthetic

I tried self-help first, I really did

Via all of the cuts and scars that I hid

It wasn’t a smart move, but it was the only one I knew

Sometimes, it actually helped me get through

But it was just as bad as letting myself brood

As far as coping methods goes, it’s rightfully badly reviewed

I have help now, though, I made a vow

I refuse to die, to hurt by my hand; no way, no how

I haven’t quite got a reason yet, but I’ve the will and support

To hit the ball straight back into life’s court

I’m doing okay now, getting up more often than not

Being happy isn’t such a long shot-

Not anymore, getting my relationships in order

I barely remember that I have a depression disorder

Taking care of myself again is hard

But my health isn’t something that I can discard

I’m learning to forgive my regressions

To take my meds, and attend my counseling sessions

Life didn’t get better in only a year; damage can be hard to undo

But I’m working on it, and I mean it when I say “so should you”

Take your time, but work your hardest

Use all the resources that you can harness

If you need it, get help, there’s nothing wrong with that

Smile whenever you can, force it, even if it looks flat

Get anything that makes you laugh, and hold it close

Your favorite books, your favorite movies, your favorite TV shows

If you’ve got meds, take them; if you feel better, don’t stop

That means that they’re working, they can’t just be dropped

Tell your loved ones what’s going on, with your voice or a note

If they want to help, let them, they can keep you afloat

Life won’t always get better soon

But I can guarantee that eventually, it will have to improve


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