Untouchably Free
“…I mean, I’m right. Right?”
Stop.
The train has stilled, my mind has froze
and in that moment the world screeches to a halt
That halt
That frightening, anxiety-ridden, fearful halt
The one that makes brown eyes go wide;
catches words in a strained voice-box
and the breath that circulated through healthy lungs can no longer find its way
Fear
Fear of furrowed eyebrows and pouting lips
that slight squint of the eyes in a momentary glare
What did I do?
“…What does she know? She’s not going through this…”
“…How could she not agree…”
Then why do you ASK?
Beneath this skull is a brain filled with colorful idea and thoughts
My thoughts and ideas
My hopes, my wishes, my experiences, my perceptions
AND my own fears
Fears of what tomorrow will bring, fears of my future
Where will I be?
What will I do?
Who will I become?
I got my own qualms to worry about
so why should I worry about the judgment going on in your head?
Are you expecting to see a mirror when we’re face-to-face?
Because I’m not you
I am me.
The biologist
The inspiring veterinarian
The tom-boy
The occasional gamer
I am the girl with the confidence to rival the greatest leaders,
the intellect of the most charismatic minds known to man,
and the passion that whelms in the clustered individuality we call humanity.
I am the truth you ask for when you speak
But, I guess you’re the ignorance only hoping for bliss
So I wait.
I wait for those I know can agree to disagree,
who hear my words of intellect and personal knowledge
and give a nod as to say ‘valid’
Without thinking it’s about ‘them’
That cosmic, apathetic connection of two minds
that for centuries, millennia, eons seems to evade lifetimes…
Understanding.
For that, my curtain remains closed.
behind them a personal muse to me, myself and I
with a thoughtful face and observant eyes
that others would call a ‘quiet’ demeanor
But my mind conquers all
My third eye seeing what has been given to me
The intuition born to me
that tells me right from wrong
that lets me think my own opinion, in my own voice
without being pushed by others
And while I hold my tongue with a baited breath
my thoughts are mine and mine alone;
untouchably free
“Of course.”