I no longer see myself as I gaze at my reflection;
Instead there is someone disturbed, distressed, and decaying
A skeleton girl;
A living corpse with a painted on smile
And two blank coal eyes,
That tell everyone that they shouldn’t worry about me
Nor my dying body.
On the inside I'm crying while my mask laughs.
No one notices not even my mother-
But soon she can see; soon she gets scared
I guess my mask slipped off
And she saw what was really there.
“Mom, I’m fine I swear,”
I only lie because I’m not ready to come out of the closet’s darkness yet
Can’t they sense my need to stay unseen? My manic fear of exposure?
Or can they just see the illusion my smile has cast?
My body rebels against me
My mind is fighting itself
As I slip down the rabbit hole
And fall to the ground
“I’m fine guys, I’m just tired”
I lie again, praying they won’t ask any more questions.
Frantically I rush to glue my mask on tighter
Compelled to cover my true-self under a mask of deception
I go home and gaze in the mirror
At the awesome skeleton girl who has taken up residence in my mirror
The reason I shall forever stay behind my curtain
Of blank eyes and a painted on smile.