My sister chronicled her life in pictures
Of sports teams, school dances, and friends
Plastered across her walls.
My brother chronicled his in memorabilia
From sports games, movies, and family trips
Placed away in drawers, to take out for friends.
I chronicled my life in trophies
In certificates, plaques, and crowns
Sitting on the wall behind my bed.
At the top is my tiara
Locked away, tight, in a black-velvet box
With 'Homecoming Queen' engraved in script
Next to it is my graduation speech
My last act as class president
My honor society cords
For Spanish, Athletics, and overall grades
Then my tennis memory box
With captain embroidered in gold
Next to my varsity letters
Plaques upon plaques upon plaques
'Hardest Worker' '4-Year Achievement'
'Did the Most' 'Most Enthusiastic'
Certificates with signatures I never looked at
My sashes pinned as a border to the trophies
'Prom Court' 'Homecoming Court' 'Homecoming Queen'
My life in trophies
Every memorable moment, put on display
Just as I was at the time I won them
And so many people saw these moments
And so many people saw me
And so many people said 'I want to be like you'
But no one saw me
Run to the bathroom and cry
Once the King and Queen dance ended
Because my so-called friends trash-talked me
And told me I didn't deserve it.
Or the box of tissues I went through
The night after graduation
When the boy I loved
Told me he didn't want me anymore.
They didn't see the pills I had to take
Just to be able to sit still in class
Let alone try to pass.
They didn't see me fall apart
Night after night
When I felt so distant from my family
Because my athletics weren't 'real'
So I wasn't really like my siblings
I wasn't a true athlete.
I wasn't a true member of my family.
They weren't there when I downed
Half a bottle of vodka
Trying to forget that boy
My best friend
Who refused to wish me a happy birthday
Or say hi to me in the hallways
Since he had already erased me from his memory.
And they didn't see me crying
After I heard all the shit they said about me
After they took me for granted
After every miserable moment
But they saw me at school
The next morning, the next week
With my make-up on, my hair done
They saw me in front of the class
Giving a presentation
Or the student body
Giving a speech
They saw me
With a smile on my face
A sparkle in my eye
Ready to take on the world
But the truth is
They never really saw me
Because if they had
Nobody would've said
'I want to be like you'
Because I pray to god
Nobody ever has to be like me