On Looking Forward (And Ignoring the Monsters Behind You)

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Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,

he does not have a say in what I do or what words come out of my mouth.

He is only there for the effect.

I sometimes ask myself what I'm doing,

and although that should worry me, it doesn't.

Because don't we all occasionally ask ourselves 

what we're doing, or why we're even here?

Doesn't everyone ask themselves why they're wasting time in a relationship

they do not want, or why they're spending thousands of dollars a year on an education

they will do nothing with, or why they're watching an entire season of a show instead of writing

that paper that they've had two weeks to do that's due tomorrow morning?

Please, disregard the monster standing behind me.

He is not me.

He is not real.

He is only standing there to tell me how to behave, to remind me that these people

around me, talking and mingling like mindless toy soldiers,

actually have minds, and that said minds will insult me if I do not stand straight,

speak without my native southern accent,

smile too much, not enough.

If I take off my mask, if I behave as I usually would, they will hate me.

I know this, he knows this.

We all know this.

So please, disregard the man standing there behind the curtain.

He is not me, he only tells me what to be,

And I only sometimes listen to him.

 

 

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