Broken

Sometimes I feel like I am two people: the girl I am inside and the girl I portray to the world.

On the surface I am kind and loving, I seem to have no flaws, and I appear to have it all together.

This, however, is not the case.

Inside… inside, I am broken. I am broken beyond repair.

Every fiber of my being cries out for wholeness once more but it never comes.

They think I’ve got it made… nice family, nice house, smarts, and more.

But what they don’t know… what they don’t know, is when I go home and the façade falls off

Chaos ensues.

Chaos too unbearable to speak of. The kind of chaos that one believes must be made up,

Too extravagant to be true.

Every day this chaos breaks me and little by little I slip deeper into the dark.

I am lost, I am searching and cannot find my way.

Every night I cry and I scream, and I pray God why don’t you take this from me.

Night passes and the day comes, time for school, time for work, time for life.

On goes the painted smile and the rest of the façade,

I take every precaution to hide the chaos and the brokenness and force myself to appear

Happy and whole.

I make sure you see the laughter and the smiles, the smarts and the talents,

The mask.

This mask envelopes me until it is all that remains hiding my true self from not only others,

But me as well.

I sob and wonder, will there ever be a day when the chaos stops and the mask can be removed?

Can I ever just be me.  

Comments

Valeria24

I think the mark of a good poem, or book, or song would be when after you've finished it and you have to take a moment to take a deep breathe and mentally recover from what you just experienced. Because it was truly mentally captivating. Thank you for the half minute adventure into your life.

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression. Always let poetry fill your life. Keep expressing your heart.  

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression! 

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