And I remember being seven years old

Coming home from school the first time a boy called me ugly

I was confused because all anyone ever told me was that I was 


But if I was beautiful then why did the boy find it easy to say

"You're ugly" 

and run away. 


I remember going home and taking a shower

Turning the faucet as hot as it woulld go;

scrubbing my face to burn away all the ugly the boy had seen


I tried this day after day

yet the ugly never went away

and to this day 

It's all I think when I stand in the mirror.


It's all I see when I splash the foundation on my face

It's  all I see when I add the false lashes to my eyes

It's all I see when I add the color to my lips

It's all I can think about when I refuse to take a picutre with my best friend

It's all I think about when he looks at me

It's all I am

It's consumed me


It's literally the mask I hide behind everyday

The transformation I go through every morning

The feeling I get before I go to sleep

The thought in my head when I see my reflection

It's forever controlling me

all because of  a boy

who called me ugly 



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