Slam Behind the Curtain Scholarship Slam
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we come from a long line of fishermangenerations and generations before
we wake in the angry dawnemerging from humble cabinslike periwinkles caught in the tide
Man I love COLLEGE
college is the place where I learn
where I open my mind
where my dollar bills burn
where to get that “A” I become redefined
It is a place that can open so many doors
A freedom without freedom, a choice of abuse
We give away our lives with every password put to use
Theres little gain but everything to lose
We give up being anonymous
And hope we're not jused used
A freedom without freedom, a choice of abuse
We give away our lives with every password put to use
Theres little gain but everything to lose
We give up being anonymous
And hope we're not jused used
He pushes you
You cry
He stab you
You die
It could have end at the push
If you knew how to punch
Running to first period, I can’t be late anyone who has been here can relate “buzz” the tardy bell rings. I walk into class “Where is your tardy pass?” she sings.
The color orange is exciting yet composed.
Still, a lack of admiration from those opposed.
What are we as humans?
Are we just people with amazing discoveries and ideas?
Are we just idealistic and logictic people?
Are we the one that we wanted to become?
If so, what am i ?
Well, you could say I’ve created this image of myself
fragile and wavering, shaking and unsure
I walk to the grocery store, self-conscious with my hands in my pockets.
I try not to look at the sun too long.
Meet the other me
He hides from the light of day
Waiting for his chance to come out
And keep me awake at night
He lives on my fears, and all my doubts
Using them like a child with toys
I've come to the idea that I'm vulnerable towards hope
and my angst gets stronger as I recollect where I've been
We live fast, racing here and there;
quickly bolting through this dream.
What are we living for?
Where is our end?
Don't forget to look around,
stop. Just for a moment,
think. Love. Dream.
I wish they'd pay attention
to the girl behind the curtain.
The sleeping lion, overlooked
because the monkey does the tricks.
I know she wants to come out
But I'm nervous, and hold her in.
"You are such a bad liar
(it's true)
and oh, you never cry!"
(why would I?)
for my reputation could never handle
the admission of emotions.
That hits too close to home, you see,
It's when someone brings it up in conversation.
A smile creeps onto my face
And I think to myself,
“They who think me hostile, obstinate, or misanthropic… how unjust they are to me. For they do not know the secret reason I appear that way.” ~Immortal Beloved
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
I've got a lot of people in this life.
They tell me what to do or who to be.
I listen, and I nod.
They are my loved ones.
They see me as I want them to.
They see me smile.
I give everything my all.
I sailed the seven seas and rode the rough tides,
When I made landfall, I came, I saw, I conquered.
This epic tale will travel far and wide,
but alas there are secrets yet to be uncovered.
These hands of mine
Have collected the tears succeeding a painful tease
Fallen victim to a panic-induced squeeze Enfolded my weary, bruised knees.
But still continue to dance by my soul with ease.
You look at me and think I'm fine, confident and loving life,
Unaffected by your exclusion.
If only you could see
The tears I have cried at night
The knives I feel in my heart and back.
Who bothers to risk their eyes
to look into the light of the sun?
They cover their eyes and turn their backs
and take advantage of the warmth and the glow
Me I am the sun
Everyday I rise and my rays
Outside
I maintain composure, charisma, and control.
Composure to keep myself upright and strong,
Charisma from years of trial and error, talking and trying to fit in with young and old.
As I sit in my pew
The same pew I've sat in since birth,
On the left
6 rows back
Close to the middle aisle,
I can't help but see
The woman in the back,
As she cuts her eyes
Truth be told abot me
Things you coul never dream to know
Wind is a trusty treasure that makes me feel free
If the worls is a stage,
And we ar the plaers,
Then we hide ourselves,
Costumed with our parts.
To the world, our viewers,
We are characters,
Destned to play our parts.
Behind stage, we live,
Heads turn at the sound of young black woman’s heels clicking the cold parochial floors,
The ruthless power of her stride swings open solid cross laden wooden doors.
Tugging, pulling at the curtain
Waiting to come out.
Waiting for someone to push me. I’m certain
A solemn tribute to Society,
traveling in silence,
avoiding gazes, conflict.
Curtain of Camouflage.
Misinterpretation leads a nation,
deceit grows infectious,
killing souls day by day.
Yellow Brick Fool
I represent the lollipop slang,
my language marks class,
well spoken, or gang.
The wonderful wizard of ostracization
prompts concealment of character
to defy my creation.
May I obtain an epiphany of self-pursuit?
Cease the persuasion of pointed fingers and demanding mouths,
Consume the obtained knowledge of the stacking years,
"I like the color blue and I like to read," I say.
They do not know it is the somber,
I’m creative, musical, thoughtful, and true
But perception can change from me to you.
You can poke and prod at imperfections all day,
Fresco painting fake faces onto my own
I
Cover my true self with layers of plastered
Self-consciousness
I want to be free
I want to
Peel back every
Doubt I’ve had on
Why my face
Behind a curtain I hide,
Keeping everything inside.
I want to be truly seen,
But it's too hard to decide.
Do I trust the audience?
Will they like what they see?
Ring, Ring the alarm clock rang,
Isa rolled out of bed with a groan and a bang,
Looking at the time realizing how late it had become,
The morning routine was cut and out the door she had run.
Everyone knows about first impressions
They are what determine whether you matter to them
Or just someone they will take up their time with
To create the next bit of gossip
She wants to be bubbly
And she is, sometimes
She wants to be outgoing
And she is, occasionally
She wants to be a leader
And she is one, rarely
But to become that person
Shy girl, heart on her sleeve, with a necessity for independence and to be outspoken. Typical.
I do not want them to know
How I am just an empty vessel
My life has been so dull
Ever since I let him go
I was supposed to be my father’s hero
But I failed him, my negligence unforgivable
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtainShe's shy and insecure, she’s anxious and uncertainShe hides the way she really feels by giggling and flirtin'Hoping no one pays attention to the girl behind the curtain
There was a documentary on the History channelIt was about how all the gods worshiped throughout all time by all people were the same godHow Zeus was the same as Jupiter, and how Jupiter was Thor and how Thor was Jesus
I took a chance,
and look what it got me.
Reality fades,
a voice whispers "are you Okay?"
as the lights dim,
and the picture of today disappears.
Cackles, sneers, and fingers,
We want to be real with nothing to hide
But truthfully we keep most things bottled inside
With outward smiles and surface reactions
We’re on a slippery hill with no emotional traction.
I keep trying to make my feelings subside/ Once it worked, I realize that I'm trying to hide/ Pull back the curtain all you'll see is me cowardly/ Maybe I'll wait two years till I'm set free
My Warring Heart
There are two parts of my heart,
And I fear the world seeing either one.
One is rotted and twisted,
Blackened from years of nurturing
Beloved Hatred and Pride.
Sometimes I'm quiet
When I don't want to be
Sometimes I say yes
When I don't agree
And I want to be open
To say what's on my mind
But it's hard to do so
All of the time
She is a girl who puts her family and dearest friends first.
A girl who doesn't mind a few critical comments.
I do not know who I am
I do not know what I seek
I do not know which is which
I have many faces
Approached by those who misguided me
Approached by crowds screaming
I am Black and White in a world of Grey
Everything is fixed, nothing is certain,
Separated only by a curtain,
A Klein bottle is a three-dimensional figure that has no in or out; it is whole.
I am not a Klein bottle, for I crack my bones.
in my conscious mind lies the fertile gravel, which holds everything I disclose to the world
Behind the camera is where I stand.
Surveying over the land.
There I stand, hidden from view.
When you throw it against the wall, but fail to crack the egg.
When you pour it in a bowl, but neglect the soggy cereal.
Behind the darkest of closed curtains, I stand
I am tantamount to the forgotten shadow on your wall
On the surface I'm a cat in the headlights,
terrified and clueless
Eighteen years of backstage passes
Sleepless nights spent looking after the home
Faked smiles while out,
bottled tears while alone
Behind my curtains are something my parents would be displeased with.
My prefrence is something my friends would disagree with.
"You homo, you queer, you fag." these words hurt me
There is a girl behind a curtain
Who cannot be seen.
She lives her life hidden
From the word around her.
Being invisible is her only
Protecton from the world.
If others knew who she is,
Being who I am infront of others has gotten me to be were I am in life. I have all the firends you could ever imagine, but do you think they know who I really am ? The answer to that question is a staright no, I hide behind a mask of happiness.
Let me take you to a place
Where a curtained creature crawls and cowers covering his face.
Truth is... I don't know many things.
I don't know why I hide behind a curtain.
Peeking out from the sides in hope that I have an audience
I shake his hands,
Yet my toes are beneath where he stands.
He’s been stomping my toes for hours,
Pacing on them as he explains why his belief, should be ours.
Any longer and my toenails will fall off,
I am an immigrant
Or so they tell me.
I don’t feel different,
Like an alien.
Yet I am an outsider
Looking in.
I am afraid to do anything
Apply anywhere
For fear of rejection.
Fat. Ugly. Emo. Gay
we've all heard what the haters say.
they act so kind right to our face.
but then they talk crap once we're replaced
by yet another hater (who hasn't really seen)
Everything and everyone can be broken down into smaller bits,
But I can't let just anyone wander around with this knowledge.
Look.
Who am I?
I'm a joke, an
Immature amateur.
Gottverdammt it all,
You can be sure, no one's heard of me.
The real me?
Who cares, why would I bother,
how could I possibly share myself?
The story of my life,
concealed in silence that cuts like a knife.
I can jump, i can run, i can sing and dance
unseen by anyone without a chance.
I am loud, I am creative, I am strong
”One hour to curtains.”
Performers are costumed. Their faces are painted.
I am a performer.
“Focus, this isn’t time to be an amateur”
Pull... back the curtain?What type of blasphemy is this?How dare you,Who know me so little tell me to remove my mask!How little could you know,
I started
as a seed
small and strong
I was planted
watered
and given sunlight
but I was planted
later than usual
A few months later
the cold wind came
Knock, knock goes the true me; the secret me plenty havent seen. I keep her stored away in a locked space.
Behind the curtain is a show worth watching but
will it be like. Different, weird, and out of the box.
Show full of hope and love for the world.
Love for nature, peace and animals has a hippy flow to it.
PASSION
DESIRE
FIRE
He warned me before i even knew it
he told me to run before i even knew it
but what the hell he gave me a run
the passion he gave me turned into something much more
My curtain isn't much of a curtain
Curtains are thick.
My curtain isn't much of a curtain
What I hide isn't very hidden
People notice what I hide.
What I hide isn't very hidden
I feel like some days there are hands grasped around my ankles preventing [ my escape .]
Restrained by society’s chains,
I’m dying to break free of its suffocating shame.
Shy, meek, and weak is all I see,
And big, bad, and beautiful is what I dream.
From the Forbidden Tree to the lethal knife
From absurd battles to many a worthless strife
The human has been defined by the aforementioned fallacies
In stage one, Society has its own biased opinion, everything is so contradicts.
But in Stage Two Society encourages you to become who ever you want to become.
But, as always it brainwashes us to be a specific way,
Slimy, small, and screaming child, put into Daddy’s arms.
He looks at her, thinks to himself, “No one will do you harm.”
Little princess in the yard, running from a fiend
No I am not skinny or short
No I am not super athletic
No I do not have long flowing hair
Yes I am healthy looking and tall
Yes I am good at my sport but not great
Yes I wear a weave
The girl behind this curtain is not an easy sight to see.
The fasade of happiness that I exude is not reality.
What everyone knows is fake; just one of many avatars.
The girl behind this curtain has bruses and scars
We are coming in to an age of technology
An age of exploration and variation and sociology
Everything now is in this language of electricity
She spoke loud and talks with a voice that unheard of
she spoke loud and theres no face revealed
A curtain you say?
I applaud you for that
No mere curtain could ever hold me back
What's its color?
Its make?
How tight is it bound?
Quiet
that's what I think I am
Cool
is what I try to be
in school
to impress my classmates
Responsible
when I'm with my family
Scared
they won't thank highly of me
Quiet
Happy, bubbley, smiles from ear to ear.
Sweet everlasting laugher fills the room.
Everyone says "She's so perfect"
searching for a flaw to pick at.
But if she is so perfect,
People can only see
What I portray of me.
A simple girl with a simple life
That couldn't be farther from the truth.
I hide behind not curtains but walls.
Walls so high, so thick, so strong.
Two sides of a coin,
Flip it
Heads or tails
Heads or tails
Looking in the mirror
Which side will show?
Flip it
Docile girl from next door
The one nobody sees
Bitter broken soul
It's not easy being sick.
Not the kind of sick you can see.
Not the kind of sick that people understand.
The dark, twisted, secret kind of sick
That eats away at you,
Black and white, that is how life should be.
Yet, we hide behind our masks, preventing ourselves from being free.
We wear jeweled masks and distracting feathers trying to hide the bruises of life.
The doorbell rings; you press your
face against the window, trying to
peer through the tinted glass, but
all you see is your reflection,
printed picture perfect straight
out of a magazine.
Hidden Behind Normalcy
By: Mikala Turner
Opportunities run short,
judgement runs long.
Potenial never seen
just hidden behind niches.
In the belt of religion,
Living in a world, not knowing any person around you.
Living behind a mask, because people won't understand you.
Living and caring too much, about what other people think of you.
You say i can do big things
that my voice can take me far
you say that with some dedication
i can go beyond the stars
you say i have so much talent
buried deep inside
The man behind the curtain is a mystery
I am it and It is me
The unseen memories and self-identity
I hear its voice in my mind
I am grasped by its emotions
I am imprisoned by its ridicule and critiques
Are you stuck behind the curtain
Entrapped by the boundaries they set for you
Unable to unlock yourself from the dungeon
The shell of her was molded,
Twisted and painted and chiseled
By the impossible standards the cruel world had set for her.
Some days the curtain feels heavyweight,
gray-scale afternoon when the weight of decrepit trees and lifelessness sits heavy.
Thick velvet, aged beyond color
Like armor, steel, steals away the light that I seek.
I let the world see my stage-hand once.
I'm dancing across the stage
everyone loves me.
I'm "beautiful".
I'm "amazing".
I spend all my time
living behind this curtain.
Take a left then a right; look up, and than around
Everyone sees greatness while I’m staring at emptiness
“Girl, pick your head up” is been pronounce more then the times,
I’ve actually lifted my chin up
Cold and impassive
Mask of ice
“But I don’t know anything about you”
Good, she thinks
You’re not supposed to
Smile, don’t get too close
Smile, don’t get too personal
Don’t let it happen again
There is no curtain here. Only a show.
This is no ordinary show, but one of miraculous proportions.
The best thing in life is to be free.
No I'm not talking bout' responsibilities.
I'm talking bout' free of one's own self and discovery.
I hide behind books
that allow me to run wild and free,
As I wake I hear noise
Coming closer and closer
I see monsters every where destroying most of my family and friends
But then I see one coming towards us...
I sleep with my body turned inward
I curl my toes and arch my back
My spine peaks
As I hold my sharp elbows over my
Hollow chest and
Inhale
Shallow breaths like cerulean bubbles in waves
Let’s go to the movies,
let’s see a show.
Heroes, villains, romantic obstacles,
love-struck teenagers,
You can hear my voice
Is it really your choice?
The voice you hear
Makes you tremble in fear
Who am I you think
Please don't let me sink
Drowning in my mind
There was once a time when I hadn't learned,
I hadn't yet learned the reason I looked different.
Different from my family.
A black sheep, believing I belonged for years.
How can you decide she was meant to die
it's called gendercide and you say that's a lie
how could she be the one to blame are you insane
you can't control your gender are there rules to this game
You want me to sing you a song, but I'll write you a rhythm
getting right down to what is within
and I and only I cannot deny these demons inside
controlling my mind
where right and wrong becomes a blurred line
Born in Christ,Raised in religion,Never have I known a life without faith.My parents are believers;My grandparents were as well.Though in my early years my faith was great,
Please pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain.
Of all my great uncertainties, one thing is for certain:
I do not want yor pity or your pleasure at my plight;
Counterfeit consequences of "comical" 'capades,
Brain's automatic switch to "courtesy" on my face,
Eye contact and generous nods
Belie the underlying thoughts.
Within; I spin,
My wall is in front of me,
It's a barrier of sorts, although protective and warm.
Behind this wall is my only home, really.
Behind this wall, I can watch people. How friends interact, how they relate,
Hiding behind a smile is exhausting
But I'm exhausted anyways
Eternally tired
No relief
I need sleep
But no amount of sleep is enough
I just want to feel normal
But I'm not
Self-hate
If there is nothing but pain
I close my eyes and let it fade
I take my heart and build a wall
Hidden so deep that it's hard to find
In a deep dark place within my mind
Not a sliver of light can pass through
I am a cloud…
Clouds are deceptive.
Imagine walking through the wide valleys or rappelling down the white cliffs.
The true me i must admit is very dangers
to get to know.
I am emotional, wreckless, and determined
but one day i'm
gonna blow.
My heart sinks for no reason.
Than rises up the next day.
Life was suddenly full of glee
The mask was somehow now a part of me
It’s been a while
Since I had a real smile
I wear a badge.
A badge with no name.
A badge with only numbers that identifies who I am.
People see me as this number man.
I am one of billions.
A worker, masked in weakness.
What better way to reveal yourself than to express yourself?
No one knows me here because I have not given them the chance to see inside my mind.
Come and get them,All purpose, all colors, all liesAvailable from A.M to P.MMy lovely enterprise
A peice of me is broken inside.
The weakness is what I am trying to hide.
For years and years, I have been so strong,
I do not want people to know what is wrong.
Make-up and clothing brands are just objects to aid,
Sometimes it’s hard to be the real me,
A mask of solitude, coldness, and shyness;
A cloak of invisibility, covering completely.
They think that I’m fine, that I need no one.
I am whoever you want me to be
within these four walls,
where stereotypes fill the air with deception.
A place where everyone keeps their true self hidden,
behind an image.
I am the rebel,
A girl is hiding, hiding behind that curtain
That curtain right there, I know I am certain
That is her, that girl hiding behind that curtain
She is shy and uncertain and bullied eveyday
Twisters, whirlwinds, hurricanes, and blizzards surround an insignificant ant.
Hearing everyone to be this, to do that- pulling me in so many different ways
Is it okay to do what I want? What I dream?
The fear of error consumes my brain,
but the concept of intelligence is wrong.
My creativity and knowledge becomes mundane.
Their learning how to pass will not last long.
Who I am today doesn't matter,
Because tomorrow I’ll be someone else.
And why should it even matter,
When no one cares about what’s behind your smile,
Or frown?
No one liked me when I was me,
What is there to be afraid of?
I have layers of barbed wire fences around me.
Don't be afraid.
No one can get it.
No one can reach past our defenses without getting scratched.
The signs say,
"Beware"
What stands between you and I?
It's grand and gathered with much thought and time
You think you see me, but what do you really see?
Maybe a reflection of how you want me to be
An ordinary
albeit introverted
young girl
She would make willow-branch crowns
pronounce herself queen
of all empty
The Real me loves to sing
He loves the rain as it falls in the spring
that person plays in the dirt
The mysterious shaddow loves to flirt
What happend to the person i knew
I walked back home that night alone. Desolated and feeling awkward,
I could hear the crows above me in the dark skies of the night, wondering why that was.
Walking alone along the sweltering
road, I saw a figure that was unknown.
You were the kind of girl that can light up a room by just smiling.
Somewhere along the way that smile began to fade.
A smile lost to lust and regret.
Too bad bad the lust was not on your part.
PHENOTYPE=Me?
I'm not satisfied.
Not just with me.
Or my actions.
But unsatisfied with life.
Do my feelings even matter if I'm plastered- generic,
A Phenotype?
My mask has a bright smile
my mask shows my deep dimples
one may think I'm in denial,
but as you can see, my mask has a bright smile.
I go to school with my mask on
I go to church with my smile
Fear, always hindering me, preventing
Me from getting anywhere, leaving me empty
Handed, in the middle of nowhere, I'm stranded.
Why should I come out,
from behind the curtain and give a shout,
When the curtain is more of a window?
All eyes are on me,
But I still want to hide behind my shadow.
Will they laugh...
Will they be disgusted...
Will they disown me...
Will they leave me...
Will they distort me...
Will they give up on me...
Our mind comes with a They.
Open up the curtain come and play;
Plastic, hey plastic! Have you seen Waldo?
She's a different kind of mind
Gemini, they tell me I am
Throwing out words like
Fickle, unpredictable,
Uncontainable, unreliable
Excitable, dynamic,
Restless and mutable, a proper air sign indeed
I am human.
I will break;
I will fail;
I will stumble and
I will fall
But:
“I will put the pieces back together;
I will try and try again;
I will find my balance and
The tag
It reads extra small
Her heart
It shatters like a broken wall
Every day is harder than the last
She craves the perfection
She wants to be known
Tired eyes, tired man,
this dreary countenence is not what I am.
I'm a thinker, a helper, a possible friend,
and I would love to help in any way I can.
The world would say, "No, be quiet and still,
His dance surrounds the place he dare not step
Never seeking the sun
For it is too blinding to show the way
He cannot run while over cumbered
And childish dreams of flight appear unmanageable
Black hole upon my chest,
Set me free and let me rest.
Defying gravity and fate as I may
I only break down in tears when I pray.
Tossing in turmoil, repressing violent thought.
Who am I
What you see isn’t what you get
I hide myself behind the outskirts of town
I don’t show my identity because I know everything will change
I am not afraid of change
The doors of a shuttered house stand closed
You walk up to the desiccated grounds
No true path
No sign of color or vivid life
No way to get past the hound
She hides behind her smiling face,
for all the world to see,
She laughs, cracks jokes, goes out and plays,
everyone would agree.
she's kind and smart, has a good heart,
Helps anyone in need,
Soft giggles and laughter of light-hearted child,
Fill the air in the warm and quiet neighborhood.
The blissful ignorance, the sense of security, unconditional love,
Put it onThat mask I wearA smile for my friendsA laugh here and thereDon’t let them seeWhat lies with inTears that threatenTo flow over the brim
I am the Queen of Illusions.
My power is to make others see what I will them to see.
It’s the only way I can properly hide myself,
So others can’t see my pain, my tears, or my discomfort.
"Pay me no mind,
please walk on past
don't see the lies behind this smile.
Pay me no mind,
please move on with your life
I swear I'm alright."
"We're unbreakable," falls off his lips,
As she pushes her pants down off her hips,
Second guesses of the whispers she's heard,
Slowing them down so they are slurred,
She feels those whispers against her skin,
No one notices
They don’t see my pain, sorrow, and loneliness
I cry behind closed doors, and dream of nightmares
Only sharing my thoughts with myself
I act as if everything is fine and that I’m happy.
A curtain to cover the uncertain,
A mask should anyone ask.
One must cover the truth to avoid the feeling of ruth.
The truth, who wants the truth?
Varity is a rarity.
You are the pretty one. The one who is admired.The one who is cheery with minor flawsI am the one that suffers and feels the judgment of your mistakesThe one who is in agony from your so called flaws
Behind these eyes are hidden lies,That nobody has ever realized.But why hide between those hidden lies?There's no one really by my sideTired of wearin a paper bag, coverin up what's behind my smiles.
Look at me
I’m the perfect picture of daisies, sunshine, and smiles
Wrapped up neatly and encased in a pretty pink bow
Even my name
Kylie Rae
Hints at sugar, spice, and everything nice
She isnt as plain as she appears to be
Shes loves to sing and laugh uncontrollably
She glides smooth and stands up right
who ever knew she worked over night
All anyone see's is the fruit of her labor
Behind the freckles and the foggy glass
stands a young face yet old soul.
Her eyes don't settle, not to be crass
Inside my mind
I stand inside
A room full of mirrors
None of which are any nearer
Than the other....
Each mirror is an emotion
That I have a devotion
For a person or place
there is something wrong in a world where we pour ourselves out to
strangers on the internet
but our best friends dont know our torment
and there is something wrong in a world where beauty is only skin deep
Hold on!!!! So you’re telling me I can’t hide behind this curtain
So you telling me I have to show everybody the real me
The girl who just needs to make her family happy
A powerful genie
An english teacher
A psychologist
A man trapped in a board game
An actor
A comedian
A friend
If he felt this way,
who else does?
“Just be yourself,”
They would always tell me,
“No one likes a fake,”
I always heard,
Over and over through the years.
Yet, despite everything I was told,
All I saw were the hypocrites,
Some people burn cold as the mid-winter wind. Some are as hot as the core of the earth. There are a special few who are as cool as autumn but as hot as spring. I don’t blow often, but when I do.
I claim to be an individual
I clam to be me
But what they don't understand
It's me they don't see,,,
I hid behind my differences
I hid behind my uniqueness
But what they don't understand
My world is crumbling, yet I smile.
People suspect, but no one knows.
It’s just a bad day they muse.
Inside I’m broken and worn.
A rock can stand against a storm.
I am not a rock.
Depression creeps into my heart,
Restraining blood flow from the start.
Can't breathe nor think straight.
Tears, that I have come to hate,
Descend as I began to fall apart.
Her eyes are hidden behind storming clouds
The voice of a girl who's thoughts were never heard
Cuts on her wrist reveal the pain that lyes with in
She Sharpens the blade and cuts her skin
I look in the mirror to see my face,
But I almost always see
just another hopeless disgrace
So I put on a show to make them think I'm fine
and I put on my mask
to hide how much I've cried
Here I stand in my late teens
Behind the curtain of responsibilities.
And all that's there is an empty shell
Doing whatever is expected of me.
I look around and see a world that needs
You were going to leave
Leave everyone
Leave me
During my biggest point in life
What did I do to you?
To deserve a cruel fate like that
It unearthed emotions I kept hidden for years
A smile,
A laugh.
Calculative, precise.
"What a beautiful young Woman
you are,
ready to please
the perfect Man
that is required for a
Healthy
Happy
Normal
life."
There’s so much miscommunication between the womb and the world
Redheaded girl, who sits and waits,
For the days of cold to be over.
Whispers of other student's rates,
On the always unnoticeable cover.
The pain she feels is always real,
Waking up, staying up, worry through my mind
I wanted to find a way to have a bond of some kind.
I didn't need to be different, you needed to change
I woke up that day, with a thought so strange.
I'm not who you think I am.
I am a leader not a follower,
but I hide in the shadows of the curtains to avoid conflict.
I hide who I am to keep myself safe,
People may call me a wuss or a pansy,
I wanna tell you everything
I wanna let you in
But innocence is so long gone
Where would I begin?
If you were me, you’d do the same
You will never know my pain
But maybe this time I will fall
The women of the world are like butterflies in a field,
For there is beauty all around me.
Mostly, they fly right before my eyes,
Yet, its the beauty that's held withn them that is truely breath-taking.
Me.
Who am I underneath this costume?
They want to define me.
I let them.
Family is the world.
Suffocated by loving arms.
I'm cute. I'm smart.
I'm gentle, docile,
She takes her seat before the glass.
The reflection she sees so far from what she feels.
“Why do we show the world a mask?”
She pondered.
The true me?
Well there's a mystery.
Even I, myself find trouble to congregate my thoughts.
Maybe that is me-a plethora of lost thoughts?
Microscopic thoughts. Dots.
Grab your mask
From the table
Before anything else
Use your make-up
So heavily plastered on
To help too
Keep it a secret
Don't tell anyone
They can't know what you do
My door is closed,
My life is not exposed,
The fear of being seen for who I am,
I simply think people don't give a damb.
I will open my heart and my door,
And put my feet stead-fast on that floor,
For to show the world who I am inside
Would be like peeling off all of my skin
It’s easier to cover up and hide
Than to try to let anyone else in
I’ve tried to tell my secrets to the world
Behind the curtain,
Beneath the surface,
I am confident.
I am content.
With my being,
With my insightful views,
And with where I am.
When the curtains are drawn,
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain
Peeking is not allowed.
You want to see her?
Well you can’t.
Direct your attention instead to the façade standing before you
I wish we were taught how to walk
Or to strut, flaunt our stuff
To others wearing blindfolds
I wish we were taught how to talk
Or to yell, sing and shout
To others wearing earplugs
No one will know; who you really are;
Until they understand; all your scars.
Behind the smile; a face of tears;
Past the laughter; the you who fears;
The one who screams; without a sound
The truth is, I fear
(that no one understands:
why I threw away the keys,
why my heart is locked,
guarded by invisible insecurities,
that you need more than a knife,
The crown held high upon my head
The pain I feel in my heart as I look out
The Kingdom before me filled with dread
I hear a man in the crowd shout
"Where is our Queen?"
Long blonde hair.
Part of that family
That big nice family.
Everyone knows them in town.
Homecoming queen.
So small,
So cute,
So sweet,
So quiet.
People ask me how I am
As if they actually care.
I see through all their lies
and I fight through all my fear.
I tell everyone that I am fine
And they have no reason to worry.
In the confines of my mind,
There's a serious care of mine,
I ask myself why?
The struggle is green.
On my way, I've started
Relying on others,
Reflection of the dew staring back at you
The ethereal gleam tearing every seam
You and I, or I and you?
You amongst the chosen few.
Can you see behind the dirt and grime?
The uncharismatic whine?
This mask is starting to feel comfortable
My emotions are unknown and so many other little things
I know myself but little by little is seems the pieces are fading
If I show my real self they won't understand
you thought this time
it would go by the book again
it almost always does
you know the one
it's my own edition
maybe
but its always the same story
or it was supposed to be
The fog of my breath leaves a whimper in the air
The days merge to weeks as I wait to be found
Bound by the restraints of my condescending mind
My patience and hope sinks in a drain of my despair
This is me, cant you see, blue till noon, hit by room, caught in fire, people say i thee liar. words of fire, fears cant inspire and yet none to hear thee tire. who i am, what can i say, gone, along to find what went wrong?
Me:
-orderly
-kind
-tactful
-driven...
but then there's the part of me that is hidden
Family:
-breaking
Completely surrounded but not a common soul
There's a part of me that hopes when that lid opens
Craving a taste of the light
But I know
There's a part of me that's broken
For so long I've been awake
They tell me,
Do your homework, study well, and get good grades,
Not caring about what I feel,
Identifying me as a number, just another part of the machine,
All great things had small beginnings.
We constitute so many complex ideas and
Wonderful visions but sometimes we don’t do
Anything about it,
Like a caterpillar that’s safely in the
Shadows under the leaves.
Big dreams with big plans
My ambitions evolving, improving each day
With adults that have to say
"Get a real job"
The feel of a clean sheet
The satisfaction of a job well done
Things I love can't be summed up
But I can say one is the sight of my pup
When she wags her tail at me
the impending sadness I feel
runs perpendicular
to the happiness you give me,
and the confusion between the two
causes so much grief.
Unfortunately
I do not possess the ability
I'm drowning, unable to swim so I sink.
This ain't like no swim at lake, a pond, or river.
Not like in a pool but more like the ocean, swimming around in darkness.
I am sheltered by darkness,
For it comsumes me piece by piece.
While she shines brightly to others,
Burning them with her desperate smile,
I am left alone,
Being only her shadow for the weak.
My parents have always told me to be good growing up as a child,
a statement I never quite understood,
I am the mask worn to school
Intended to fit, intended to fool
I am the mass you wear to work
A monotonous gaze, convenient quirks.
I am the mask you wear everyday
Who am I?
Am I more than that shy, sweet, innocent girl?
Do I have more than one face?
Am I truly hiding myself?
I will tell you who I am...
I am me,
I AM quiet, shy, and at times sweet and innocent,
Waiting.
My good friend Silence is here
His company is comforing in my travels
Tunnels of purple and yellow hint of joy
Iridescent light spots in the sole of the Iris
Green eyes and a bleeding spirit
Little, can one scrutinize the details of the face.
Simply due to the fact that none can see beneath the surface;
the truth hidden behind the curtain of semi-permeable membrane.
Behind this layer the real stage lies,
Are you the same person throughout the day? Think about every person you run into and how you act towards them. Wake up at 6:30 go to sleep at 12:30, are you still the same person between this two times? Take a look at yourself.
When you first meet me
Any then you get to know me
I’m too different people
Then there is the person that is unknown to everyone
This Poem is about the discovery of yourself because for others to see past the curtain, first you must pull it back and see yourself.
I am the sunshine, lighting up the world
I am the rain clouds, dark and stormy
Sand slips through woven mesh trays
Sun burns the specks of glass into Lilliputian daggers.
Wind yanks grasses from their gritty home.
Rain gnaws the dunes which are never secure.
Don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t think, don’t act;
Think before you do, or something may go wrong.
You’ll mess up, you know you will.
That’s all you do.
they see what they want to see,
so that's all i can be
i am the background,
a face in the crowd,
yet i don't want to be found,
even if i want to scream out loud
Inside this mind
there's so much that I can hide
Everyday walking around with a smile on my face,
but not bearing the depths of my soul
A saddness not able to be consuled
I plaster a fake smile on my faceday to day.Hiding my sadness and pain,holding the hurt inside.Walking around saying
I fight a battle everyday.
I see my enemy everyday,
with eyes full of pain,
full of hate,
I can’t chew on the thought that’s begot
Rotting inside like they thought I forgot
When they couldn’t see me gnashing my fangs
against my iron-wrought cage, the fangs, their bangs-
The vast, the deep, the wondrous, the ocean
That lies beyond the borders of the land.
Always moving with powerful motion,
See her here, the perfect daughter
She works, she learns, she obeys her father
Her mother was the top of her class
A standard that the girl will never pass
The real me
Is more than the eye can see
It's time to unleash what's inside
To let the world go for a ride
My doubters will be hurtin'
When I slam behind the curtain
Her routine consists of make-up and a dress.
A voice that booms across the stage.
A facade she wants to put to rest.
But they keep her here in this cage.
No one knows the war of not being enough.
Outside is an illusion,
While inside shows reality.
Outside is accepted and liked,
While inside is hidden and safe.
Inside is tainted with past mistakes,
Embarrassed of weak moments.
I am who I am.
I am like the wind
soft and suttle , but always present.
I am the smoke that desperatly escapes from the past fire.
I am who I am.
I am like the series of phases of wine.
Only 18
You were only 18. Young with your whole life ahead of you
Ready to live your life and actually do it right
Ready for college AND you had the potential
Pull Back the Curtain and you will see,
A completely different image of me.
While every day I stand, tall and proud,
I've never been one for fear-
I don't fear the dark
I don't fear hights
Not spiders, nor snakes
I don't fear a challenge
I don't fear confrontation
I am not afraid to feel fear
Some days, the mirror showed me happy
But to my friends, I showed no sign
On others, it showed me falling down
Outwardly, I claimed "I'm fine."
Every day, another mask
Slipped onto my tired face
You may think you know me
You're in for a surprise
The girl that you see?
She's not as she implies
I'm in a shell
Trying to come out?
Well, what's stopping me
We live in a world that you must act a certain way.
They tell you what to do, where to go, and what to say.
Everybody is judged for who they are.
I am happy to join you today,
With this right path I’ve made,
To serve you, God, the angels and other people on Earth,
To achieve the good deeds they need,
I do not wear a mask
I am forced into a mask by society
A society that deems me “fat”
Everyday I view myself as too heavy
And everyday
I wake up
I put on clothes that do not cling to my body
From a young age you were told you will be great.
From a young age you were told that you have an amazing Fate.
From a young age you are already given a role to play.
Frankly, I'm a little depressed
The world stays at rest
All while my mind races to places that don't exist
Like a place where misogyny
Doesn't disguise itself as equality
True friends see behind the curtain
They are the ones, who like Dorothy know to look behind,
For what is on the outside is not always what counts,
Sometimes we are much softer than we may seem.
I am constantly asked, "How are you always so happy and chipper?"
Ironically, I am not.
Whenever I feel angry, I smile
Whenever I feel depressed, I smile
Whenever I feel taken advantage of, I smile
I am a daughter,
A sister,
A lover,
A friend.
I laugh because my parents want to see me happy.
I smile because big sisters don’t cry.
I love hard so we don’t fall apart.
I open my eyes
And I get out of bed
Then I walk to my closet
To decide what to wear to school today.
Do I wiggle into those uncomfortable jeans?
Or do I wear the skirt that I have to pull at all day?
Who am I behind the wall?
Trying to stay hidden from you all
I can come out but not be true
Hiding is all I can really do.
Its time to break down the wall
time to be myself and stand up tall.
Why will you not leave me alone?
You are always there, even when I go home.
I need some time away to breath and just be,
Because with you I am not really me.
I sit at home trying to fight the fight,
Colors. Vibrant. Glitter and sparkles. The mask of a child taunts me. Its who I am. What people see is a straight face masked. Priorities. Black and White. Fleeting emotion.
The curtain I hide behind,
Is something you usually don't find.
It is not a hood or a mask,
for it is simply just a simple task.
That task is a mountain I must climb,
to help me get to my goal on time.
I remember the time
The time I hid behind my so called curtain of protection
I remember the time
The time that I was too scared to look at my reflection
So scared of who I had become
They see me walking down the hall each day, a smile on my face with a Leather jacket to ace.
Interaction with others isn’t something I want too much of,
But that doesn’t mean I wish it gone completely,
This introversion sits with me - fits like a glove,
However, anxiety besieges me! Fiery, like the sun!
Eyes up, sweetie
Framed in spontaneity
Throw on that big smile
One your own mother don't see
Dunk it in that old Southern charm
"How are y'all today..."
I used to have more Freckles.
I suppose I quit spending so much time in the sun
When I was little they were something of a talking point, something to notice
When I was little I would marvel over them, show them off
It is but a long and dreary night
Upon the sill of this balcony, no light
For I have lived this way for many years
And I have shed more than a thousand tears
In My kennel I find peace.
I find the security I need within My leash.
This 5x5 has limits at least.
Limits reserved for powerful beasts.
Can limits imply that I am free?
the cold did not burn as she froze
but she wrapped herself in blankets
to thaw herself
as the rivulets ran down her thighs
she sighed
“warmth at last”
but from her cocoon she found
Always
Looking over my shoulder,
Checking my pulse,
Fighting, fighting, fighting
The panic
Until I am afraid
Of my own fear.
Appear calm,
Inside I am screaming,
I am the one that many people do see
As independent, confident and free.
But many don't know that deep inside
Is a scared little child, desperate to hide.
Behind the spectacle that many behold
As I smile, it smiles. As I laugh, it laughs, but behind a mask a smile never lasts.
It never remains because of the pain- the pain of which I’ve endured.
Behind a curtain, dark and mysterious, my being gives way to emotions.I hide, I laugh, and learn to fake what the curtain requires of me.I don’t know who I am anymore; there’s so much going on.
d the ability to get a glance at the figure of the physique under the black veil I've cast upon myself, I applaud.
A valiant hero runs through town
As its mayor displays an ugly frown
It was supposed to be a celebration
Instead, everything became damnation
Above the clock, hovers the moon
Be the Change.
Stop the bullying.
Instead of tearing them down bulid them up.
Or say nothing at all.
An egg,
Smooth and white and
blank.
What's inside?
I can't tell you.
Let's break her open
And see the truth drip down our fingers.
Not drip.
Smoke, fog
Rises
I am me
I refuse to hide behind a curtain,
A mask, a wall, anything,
It's just not right.
I strive to show myself
In everything I do,
When people see me,
Stop
Stop
Stop
Don't able yourself.
Don't be that way.
Don't see inside.
Stop
Stop
Stop
Bringing out laughter
Is what I am after
Audience laughters
Brings out the clown
The clown who cheers
To those who frowns
On the clown
A smile is painted
Upon the face
This box I carry
around everyday.
Tells of who I was-
and who I am today.
17 layers,
the inside is lined-
each one more refined.
Open this box and you shall see,
I'm pushed around by a big mean kid, the bully of the playground
In my mind that kicks and hits and spits about the bits and pieces of me,
Once standing so tall, now a pile of self-loathing fragments, the kind that aphall
Wake up, repeat, sleep
to only live an obstacle piled heep.
Social by nature yet forced, into being competitve
and repetitive, made to think that "Yes" this is happiness,
If you were to take the pieces from two different jigsaw puzzles and try to fit them together, it wouldn’t work.
Cogs ticking, time whirling, deep thoughts imbedded in rich caves of dust
No one managed the day well enough
To pause, instrumentally plucking glass from the ground, to stop and smell the dirt of humanity or the
Roses
To the guys who think showing no emotion,either in their faces or their voices,is the masculine thing to do.To the girl in my high school gym class who wouldn't reach for the ball
I have to tell something to the world today;
The secret's out; I'm out; I'm gay.
For years and from some people it's been a secret,
Afraid I won't be treated as an equal.
Shameless
The guilt is evidently
Non existent
I, honestly, could care less.
I pick up the broken pieces.
And dream of the better days
And yet I'm still adhesive
To my dreary ways
The sun beats down but it's cold as iceWinter winds break through my barrierWaiting for spring, waiting for warmthWaiting to bring down the wall I've builtChills run down my spine, frozen deep
I had hoped to stop hiding my face in a curtain of hair
So I chopped it off
But the struggles kept building and building
until finally collapsing on me like avalanches
The Locked Mind
They don’t really see me,
Only my vulnerability,
They look for a way to attack,
A way to take me down,
Find a way to make me drown.
My mask is more like makeup.
I don't hide behind an imitation, there is no shell.
I conceal.
I hide the blemishes, blend them into
the background. I love to win, but no one
sees how much I hate to lose.
A smile on my face as the sun shines through,
Another wonderful day enters the room.
The same routine is what is done,
It's fair to say that at some point we all hide behind a curtain,
scared to show others the real person behind the mask,
because we live in such a judgmental world,
being true to yourself isn't always an easy task.
Masks are what we see.
My true self isn’t what it seems.
The mask I hide under is shown,
But my true nature is unknown.
What do I hide under my mask?
I am a man under a mask,
A Disability Awareness Day came my way,
“Let’s try that TTY machine,” I say!
An interest in ASL and the Deaf Culture you see,
How does one sign “A B C”?
A little while later in middle school,
The curtain so black
Mysterious to conceal
Minute inner thoughts?
What's to be hidden
Other than identity
I'm just curious.
Are you hiding thoughts
Or just feelings you're having
Mr. Jolly, Always Happy
Happiest man alive He is never mad, never sad
He is no ones slave
But thats not me
thats what you see
There is more to my book
In front of the curtain she wears a mask,
In front of the curtain her eyes look down,
In front of the curtain her words are kept inside,
In front of the curtain her lips hardly open.
I was a delicate porcelain doll:
Beautiful,
And whole,
But at some point
I became broken
And life took its toll.
But they didn’t want to just leave me there,
Useless
And a mess,
I play hide and seek, but only with me.
With my eyes closed, I refuse to see.
I stand under restless green leaves.
They sway and they shush and they bend with the breeze.
Quiet girl: she hides behind the life of masquerade.
Doesn't matter much; can't see behind the mask.
Colors of yellow, orange, green, gold, and white decorate the outside.
My veneer is my skin disguising
My indecisiveness tracing the outline of my cosine core
My discomfort following the dying reverberation of my laughing waves
Im only me.
Thats all I can be.
No more, no less, don't second guess.
I love, I live, I laugh, I cry.
Some days I'm funny, others I'm not.
Sometimes I sing and i can't stop.
Rough as a rock, nothing close to a diamond.
Trying to put on a front as if he didn't break her hymen.
He's constantly telling her that he loves her, but does she love herself?
Surrounded by people stands the girl behind the mask,
Her smiling cheerful face,
Always a tiring task,
With her book in one hand,
And her music in the other,
Wanting to slip away,
I stand on the edge.
My hair whipping wildly in the ebony wind.
Whispering serenity.
Sanity crumbles under my bare feet,
Tumbling down
Yes, I wear a mask, who doesn't?
Mine changes from day to day though.
Samedays it's purple and somedays it's black.
Puple for the days when no one sees me,
When I can be me and express myself.
Believe what your eyes see, then you are a fool.
Each of us hides something, almost like it's a rule.
Hide it or risk ostracism, hide it or risk criticism.
Outside there's a girl with her head held high,
but inside she hides behind shadows.
Outside there's a girl who has her life constructed,
but inside she's still trying to piece it all together.
She struggles each day to face the friend she hates. Watching people in the halls thinking they're laughing at her, she wants to hide. She wants to find a safe place.
I shall never comprehend what it feels liketo know that you could change everything,in just the same way that you could carve out life
Who are you?Are you,Every mistake, issue, mess up you've ever dealt with.What about all of the opprotunities you've passed up?Every test you've failedAll the blunders you've gone through
She is the girl that you see smiling in the hallway,
She laughs a little harder than others
She has always been there for others even if they arent there for her
That girl goes though every day wishing she was gone
Outside lives a girl with a smile that can brighten up the room,Yet, inside hides a girl with a frown full of despair.
Explore and dream and speak and learn
An image I've worked hard to earn
Good girl, hardly wrong, always strong
A reputation that makes you want to belong.
But I wanna be just me
To say it is a curtain
is to compare a match to a tree.
While one is simply shading you, the other is burning me.
I hide behind this made up wall
hoping to one day dissolve
into the very world i've created
In my thoughts I slip away,
as I jump off the dock of the bay!
With the tide slowly rolling in,
tasting salt water upon my skin!
Swimming across the water so blue,
my body changing into something new!
Always be yourself
Take pride in oneself
Friends should not discourage
Only encourage
You should feel comfortable
Thats whats honarable
Always be yourself
Beneath the lattice
Of heavy vines,
A garden grows
Where no sun shines.
No roses bloom
In neat, straight lines.
Weeds they call them
In groups like shrines.
A rabbit hole
All my life a sea of white
At school and on teams
They ask so many questions
" Why is your hair like that?"
" Let me touch it!"
Expressing so many comments and opinions
Through their own ignorance
The curtains that protect my soul like a noose around my neck
They are made of angel wings and devil horns
Good and bad can shine through the tears and cracks
Flickering, Brightening, and dimming
Who are you to question me,
To tell me wo I should and ought to be?
Who are you to dictate my actions,
There's a picture in my head
I will gain it when I lose
Every piece given will be a mighty win
Fighting through pangs and frailty
A crown awaits
But then I climb the pedastal
Behind me is me
If only they could really see
that my beauty is skin deep
not all is just vanity
when I take off my makeup
and let my hair fly free
I know behind the me they see
Guillotines and personalities
I'm condemned to commit to the same fate as the Hydra.
One face down and yet two more rear
Oh how they argue
the stress of the norm,
to conform,
is too much for them to bear.
Oblivion has the day when I first had my shame
And I'm ready to exhume all that's whole
Vanity and fear once patronized my soul
Oh how freedom is felt being someone else
To take the damage masked
The dragon has been unleashed,
I have seen her.
Right and wrong,
Knowing and doing,
Do you see the difference?
Doing what you do,
Just to get by.
What have you done?
Way deep down, hidden from sight,
Like stars in the day instead of the night,
I keep concealed where no one can see,
The inner, braver, courageous me.
Cowed by timidity, marked by blank fear,
My heart melts when it looks through yours.
Your smile, Your glare, You're swell.
Behind the curtain I do hide the scerets that are mine.
You can't hear these words, the whispers that are alone
for here is were they must roam. These huge and yet small things
Do I hide behind a curtain?Let me count the ways.Do I hide behind a mask of my true self?Who am I really? Who really am I?Everyone wants to know.
A bright smile I present to those before me
That beautiful smile that often leaves the pain in my eyes unnoticed
A giggle escapes my lips
And little did my friends know that I am dying within.
Pay no attention to the girl behind the curtain
She is the one who cries herself to sleep at night
Who try's her best to please everyone
Doctor, doctor,
Give me a pill,
Fix my broken mind,
Mark it with a seal,
Doctor, doctor,
Present me a cure,
Make me different than I was before,
Jesus, Jesus,
Send me a sign,
I have no shame of who I am.
and people see me but despite of my wonderful soul, i am invisible to those who are important.
I am to true to myself but I still hide behind a mask.
If only, if only, is what I find myself saying almost every day. If only she liked me for myself and not the money I have? If only he liked me for myself and not for my body?
Don't doubt yourself
you're far too wise
you have your whole life aheade of your big brown eyes,
this world has much to offer,
but for someone who doesn't see their worth
they don't really see the earth,
Who I am inside
Is who I truly hide.
Behind this mask I wear,
In fear of those who will stare.
Through the eye holes I see
Everything from you to me.
Who's on the outside?
I tell you my words lie in plain sight for you to see.
You believe you see me.
I tell you the words you hear are my true identity.
Kids disappear, in a blink of eyes, of party involvement. a dor da depressão é um envolvimento do desastre de imperfeição. La depresión de honestidad me hace sentir como una basura. Tears flowing.
The sunset slowly disappears from my sight,
tears roling down my eyes,
my feelings for you, they seem to stop, as the moon.
My body grew tired of your abuse and constant slander
So I grew claws on my fingertips, and you can no longer hold my hand
I developed an acidic kiss; you’ll soon forget the taste of my lips
Crack the skin
Of red wood,
And listen-
rising curtains with
rising trumpets;
the piano plays
Furiously with passion
as drums strike so catchy.
You are a wild entity that I must tame
You can bring glory, you can bring shame.
A tightrope of the most delicate kind
You and humility must be intertwined.
On my quest for success and perfection
I know I’m unwanted,
Yet I still try
To find the one
Whom would die
For me and make me feel
I'm sorry is easy to say when you've got arms to find solace in and and a mind to get drunk on.I remain ingraved, disdain, ingraine, are you feeling entertained?
Always with a mask
never able to show me
Forever trapped
Why must I always hide
Never able to show what's
Inside, I'm alone
The real me is sad
The real me is depressed
and at times angry
Everyday I hide behind this mask. This mask hides that I love girls and boys. Every and now then I want to take off my mask to show the world how I am. But something inside me always stops me from doing that.
I put on my mask every morning
The mask with the smile and the bright eyes
Sometimes I don't need my mask, yet
Other times desparately
I don't want you to worry about me
About how i am so sad
The demons claw as the sun decends
The wolves howl as the moon ascends
Dark is the world that consumes the light
Just as the monsters takes flight
Joy, laughter, happiness are objects of peaceful reality
Living with depression is not an easy thing to do
Living with anxiety is not an easy thing to do
Living with both has become so painfully unbearable
Why?
People ask me that question all the time.
Why is the sky blue?
Why is there violence in the world?
Why are you hiding your feelings?
I tend to be in the shadows,
closed off from the world.
My smile is the mask that I use to hide my loneliness
As my smile rises, the curtain that hides my suffering falls
Ask my friends and they will say, “He’s a riot, with the biggest grin ever.”
I pull shut the curtain of the poorly-lit dressing roomI shimmy out of my jeans to try on a dress for an event I don't want to go toI look down at my thighs and see my battle wounds
*Read lines 1 through 26, starting at the top of the page, and ending at the bottom.
Fear
What will they think of me?
What if they leave?
I can't stand being alone.
I won't stand being alone.
Doubt
What if I fail?
If I can't do it, what will happen to me?
As we grow older we realize there's always a name to a face
We no longer look behind the eyes or into the soul
to find a personality or trait.
But rather judge by age, color, and race.
No like me is around
Even with people who are similar
I stand out
So I hide behind who they want me to be.
I apologize for the imposition
But may I ask for a bit of help?
You see, my mask keeps slipping off.
And no matter how hard I tie it in place,
I can't tie it tight enough,
A cynical sneer captivates the muscles on the outside shell of the girl that sits still,
She everlastingly wants it to end,
All the others are thick silhouettes of mass media, pop-culture,
A Kaleidoscope Image
With every turn, Your image swirls for bypassers
...
Just a sad face on the corner, your neighbor has seen you.
The shepherd has always told me that I was a black sheep…or…
Maybe that white lamb existing among a pasture of black sheep,
And that coat weight is more valuable than body weight.
The shepherd has always told me that I was a black sheep…or…
Maybe that white lamb existing among a pasture of black sheep,
And that coat weight is more valuable than body weight.
The maskMade of angels and demonsShows the good and hides the bad
The maskDisguises what is insideConcealing hardship and hurt
The maskShows a light on the outsideAnd struggles to find inside
suddenly
my body feels warm
the color of my skin changes to red
my heart starts beating f a s t e r
The Porcelain Doll everyone sees you as is so beautiful.
Rosy cheeks with cute little freckles.
The best hair, it was professionally done.
The clothes from the stars.
In this lonely world I call my life
I take one last look at this beloved knife.
Never again shall I be in pain,
Never again shall my cries be in vain.
Surrounded by a world thats so vain
its all about me, I want fame
need to be in the spotlight
gotta be perfect, gotta be right
take this drug, you'll feel great
They say I’m beautiful that I have it all figured it out
My skin is dirty and wet, from the sculpting mold
They covered me I am the beauty they captured the perfection
A white porcelain doll,
Is never hidden in fear,
She is never covered in regret,
But she has something I love,
The power: To forget...
No mind to consume her time,
No passion to lust for,
I am the One that walks in the night
I give the world a terrible fright
When I write in what i behold
not just in what i told
Curtain curtain as my veil, no one will be able to see that I'm really insane.
Hide. cover up, bury. Those are are the words I chant merrily.
disguise, confuse, delude and deceive, I'll never let the world see the real me.
As I rolled out of bed in the middle of the night the moonlight shone brightly along with the stars.
100,99,...88...
I have a personality
I know I do
It just hasn't been found yet
Every time it tries to break free it's bound, shamed
Can't it be free for once?
I'd like that
Our reality is that we live in a world of other's standards,
whether it's fashionable or cool to be ill mannered,
I have a face that looks nothing like my own,
I am afraid of what others may think to the real me shown,
Perfectly graceful on the surface
They're all fascinated with my sweet face
But I'm tired of keeping up with this pace
Sometimes I don’t know the difference
Between what I say and what I feel.
I just
Smile
Smile
Smile
Smile
And nod.
I’m lost in a crowd of people who hear me
But they don’t.
I don't show my face
I wear a thick mask
My life may seem dull
But it isn't, just ask.
My heart is passionate
I love all I see
But I don't interfere
I just let life be.
Every day single,
I fake my life
Not in my morals,
or my personality.
What's fake are my emotions.
The ones that I choose to show, but in reality it's this mask I choose to wear.
“You’re selfish!”
“You’re no better than him.”
“You have no respect for anyone.”
“I have never met a girl more ill-behaved than you!”
“You need to fix your attitude.”
They said.
I say
I not one that coops with death very well
But when you get bad news
It never goes so well
I hate to see someone dear to me die
It just hurts to see them gone
You wonder why they had to go
I look too serious, call me deliriousI am too quiet, but they never seem to defy itI seem too angry, can you really blame me?
Because I am in a world
Where love and peace no longer exist,
A Look Beyond The Mirror
If you look into the mirror
The girl that you will see
Is someone you might like
But not who I wish to be
If you look Beyond the Mirror
I am not outgoing
I am not a class clow
Standing in front a crowd scares me
And speaking in front of them is worse
I enjoy group projects
But I like working alone more
Why do I enjoy being alone?
They say there's a knock on the door, someone unknown keeps coming for more. An individual so repressed, so hidden, that most days it lays bed ridden. But who is it? Who could it be? You? Me?
Beaten up and broken down
Faked smile and forced laughter
As tears threaten to pour,
To reveal your secrets,
Tell the whole world everything -
The definition of truth is that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality
So, I'm going to be real with you
The true me is who I want to be
The person that you know me as is who I need to be
It's through another's eyes, revealed by their honest words
In which I realize, my mind is on its own.
My morals are shoved aside.
I don’t want to sit down and wait for something out of the ordinary,
I want to work hard to become someone extraordinary!
This taunting statement runs over and over my head-
As I sit tightly on the corner edge of my bed.
It's Monday
and if you look deep enough
You'll find my life is rough
But there will always be a part of me
Which you will never see
A part I cover with lies
I know that the shell I notify as a rep is a sham
that being one of them for my so called purposes is a scam
fearing the inside not speaking out of my truth
eyes blind to many meanings of life
when my pastor first told me all the good kids go to heaven
The curtain is heavyand the curtain is thickto be moved, you have to be quickfor people I care about it's more like a blindsometimes you may get a peek insideit takes someone strong and determined enough
I remain behind the curtains to hide my true emotions,
I remain behind the curtains to block malignant intentions.
I hide the truth so no one knows
Who i really love the most.
She thinks she's the only one in a lot of things. Praying to God, so he can break the chains,
I scream,
I cry.
I barely know how I will survive.
Through trust and love,
You should be fine,
But not when dark souls
Have the key to your mind.
There was always an image to live by,
And a reputation to uphold.
But it was until everything felt right
That things began to unfold.
It started with the color of your skin
There used to be a girl, who wasn't very outspoken
She hid behind others opinions, because she was broken
Following the crowd and blending in seemed ideal back then
Realizing that, that was toxic, she decided, never again
A glance into the looking glass, a hint you too shall find
A secret, I am sensitive; behind a curtain, I shall hide.
I smile, laugh and tell a joke, sure to always be true and kind
Behind the curtain I question who I am as it doesn't get much more temporal than that.
At age twelve her calling led her herethis visionary burning crystal clear.
Cease your focus on me I am insecure about what you see Keeping your gaze, my skin crawls I am afraid you will grasp my flaws Anxious that you might not like what you view My flaws, you have only noticed a few Will you note the truth in my eyes?
I am sweet and innocent and a little too sad
I've got lots of problems because of my drug addict dad
Have you ever noticed
how your laugh sounds different
when you're with your closest friend
than it does with your dad?
Have you ever wondered
what it would look inside of an
I dream with a ball on top of my head
It feels crazy
I cant see myself doing anything but playing basketball all year.
Basketball is life
It helps me get through
My life is hell
The truth is I don't know who she isDisguised so goodI blew thisWith the lipstick on high heels strongBut my ankles not so muchI'm just trying to show that ICan play the roleJust like all my friends
Surroundings aren't difficult to notice when you're aloneNoticing every single actionmaking you realize nobody values your presence and you're thrownit all turns out to be like a chain reaction
A ringing sound awakes the young mans ears
Rushes to a room with a desks and peers
He sits slowly sits like the desk is a form of lava
He remembers hes not that kid that yells for mama
This drapery consists of a mask that rests
Itself on the surface of my face
But conceals my inner core.
My story is composed of a chemical
Concoction that portrays my background
I can give a smile, and say I'm ok, even when I don't feel that way inside
I can speak to you, in a different languages too, some because my skin demands me to.
Why do I hide who I am?
Do I hide out of fear?
Do I hide because I’m ashamed?
I know well enough
That I am not alone
But nevertheless my resolve is to never give up my secret
For if ever I did I would certainly be stoned
Or forced to pack up and leave their home
To show my own soul
I fear beauty
And all its causalities
Stressing to be a "bad b*tch"
No that ain't me
I believe that every girl is a queen
They can hold their own
Chase every dream
And never leave their throne
Pay no attention to
Anything you're about to see.
We- I don't need you
or your judgement looking at me.
I can be myself
Only when you don't know who I am
So you talk to her instead
It started with a bare Face with pure happiness and not a care in the world.As time went on, the Face has seen many other faces and places.
What do people see in me? With my short hair and light brown skin, even though it's covered with mystery and stillness. I still what to know. Is it the way I talk, the way I walk, or the way I gently amuse others. I'm not sure?
All we know, from young to old
it to hide ourselves, to create a new person.
We lose ourselves in creating a new you.
Something that hides who we really are
What do I look like to you?
I look sweet, innocent or
Do I look like someone you can take advantage?
I look like I put up with a lot of mess.
I look like you can ruin me.
I look like someone you “need.”
Hiding
Making everyone think you are just fine
Is perhaps my greatest talent.
It is not my acting
Not my ability to learn quickly.
No.
It is never crying
Never telling them about the blackness
This prison I carry,
Till my time ends and they bury,
Is but a shell of the truth,
Of what I was since youth.
The prisoner hides,
Till the voices subside.
And will only be free,
The trust of another I cannot tell.
The fear drags me down into the darkness.
So far, I have forgotten how to live.
What once was joy has twisted into pain.
For pain has no limits.
When you look at meYou See Strength,You See Determination,You See Confidence.
It is a perception I haveCarefully crafted,So you cannot see behindThe mask I where.
Who I really am is a mystery.
If i said what i thought, Id live in misery
We're taught to treat others kindly
but that's not who I am and my feelings remind me
so could it be,
that i should hide my true me,
I must conceal it most of the time.
Though when I reveal it I never make a crime.
I admit there are times when I probably take it to far.
Although I never realize that I am, for I never stop until I win the war.
Don't cry, don't cry
Tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes
The muscle behind my nose clenching
Breathing, in and out
Shuddering, aching, its gone
Shower off, sauntering out
The universe where entropy increases, chaos is truth.
I am the strong and the weak force which try to stabilize the inner elements of the heavens,
I've told myself for many years
That I was finally happy.
That I saw myself in a different light,
They said "sorry your not what were looking for".
Makeup hides my feelings,makeup hides my pain ,I've become so ashamed, i cant begin to explain
Cant allow people to truly see me
Sorry They said I'm just to ugly.
The person I am can probably say a lot more than the cage itself I've dwelled upon since birth. I never found the courage to exhibit the
There you look at me, as happy as can be,but behind these eyes what do you really see? light that has dark, and scars on my heart. I can hide it well, better than you think. Even though I am starting to sink.
Death, Disease, and Lonliness
Abandonment, War, and Fears
All kept behind life's curtain
Beauty on the outside
What surprises wait within?
Behold the box you see it's not really me
Inside I hide my darkest demise
Shock and bewilderment will compell the eye
Oh my! Oh my!
There's a mask I use to present myself to white friends saying things, like, "Oh Em G,"
and shit like, "Yeah, Totally."
Oh only if people could really see
Even behind these curtains things aren't all perked up as they're supposed to be.
My sole intent is to bring people joy
So no one can end up like this broken boy.
When I see the world its behind a cloud of fog
Hiding, shadows writhing in a shady haze
Maybe that's why, in these past few days
It feels like the real me is fading away
The fog condenses around
She was born into a world where love overflowed like
A river whose banks fall over rocks coming to a crashing end.
She thought she had the world ahead of her, but she woke
Up to darkness and hate.
Powerful, strong, smart i may appear the fear of the unknown controls me the thoughs of ...what others say if they really knew how I felt........"shes weakand, confused, no future\, dont pick her .
who is the real me?
what a stupid fucking question, you're asking the wrong person.
Dig and dig, research and dig
Search, dig, uncover, to what avial?
Mostly rocks and bones, but
One glimmer in the dirt
Thousands of years in a trinket
History in your hands
A rush of exictment
Everyday people are dying. Everyday people are lying. Just stop trying to win this race. Just make the world a better place.
I once was a sunken ship buried to the ground. I carried a burden so heavy it held me down. I felt so trapped it kept me bound. I felt as if I had drowned. I let go of the past and then I flew.
I wake up to cosmetics and perfumes everyday to seem presentable to the world outside.
Emoticon this, emoticon that,
Controlling the posts, controlling the likes.
Consice...simple...no questions asked.
Hiding behind our smiling faces.
You can see my thumbs up.
But am I really there?
It’s not a mask
Or a disguise
It’s not a shroud of smoke I use to conceal my true form
Although I am a monster, sometimes
I can be that harmless little bunny that you’re surprised to see
As a pre-teen, I avoided nakedness as much as any other would.
My body was not what I had imagined it would become.
I had mounds of fat that sagged from my sides that caused brown straight marks to form along my lower back
When I walk down the street,
Talking to the people I see,
I can't help but wonder,
If who they see is really me.
To them I am funny and kind,
I always have a smile on my face.
"Pay No Attention"By Samantha S. MastorioThose around me see someone grand,Someone carefree and full of energy,Little do they know, little do they see,
Who am I to deny them?
The person they all wish to see?
The green patch of the black garden
I’ve kept this face on for so long…
What defines you as a person in life?
So social but with restrictions that hinder.
Creation of pure hell but still untainted strife,
This be the day that split like thunder.
The man behind the curtain
we all have one inside
we cover him up
afraid that he'll break down our pride.
We hide behind this wall
afraid to break free
affraid to ask the question
One smile.
Frozen in place.
I didn't know there were others.
Walking along the hallways.
With their cliques.
Talking about everything and nothing.
The true me you ask?
Why the true me is a mystery my dear
No one cares to know the true me
Unless you are related
Or a dear friend you see
A mask is the safest form of deciet
I hide behind a disguise
A disguise of extreme optimism or pessimism
To keep people from knowing how empty I sometimes feel inside,
Day, it is the day where I hide myself
Light reaches for every dark spot, nothing to hide
Talks are short, superficial, lacks any personal substance
Talks are loud, ornamental, giving no inclination in anything
I am tall
I am short
I am fat
I am skinny
I am depressed
I am black
I am white
I am foreign
I am bald
I am rich
I am poor
I am strong
I am weak
Slamming the curtain shut , none of them must know.
The girl behind the mask; so different from the one that shows.
Scared of no acceptance, racing to hide,
should I really tell them what's inside?
Helpless.
An intense electrical pain filters through my scared body.
My unlucky limbs become violently uncontrollable.
Shaking.
Trembling.
Tense.
Afraid.
I scream in my head for it to stop!
Perhaps, there is an advantage to being many-sided:
People don’t see all of my flaws.
One may know me as particularly introverted
But others will have never seen me outside a group.
One may think I speak too much
Just one look unhinges me.
Underlying judgements change futures, lives.
Doubt festers, stomachs drop, and fears soar.
I feel my pulse up in my ear
So steady, so loud, so strong
The end I desire is no where near
But now, I don't belong
You watch me suffer
An illusion is all that it is.
Giving myself a heart attack from all the stress I put on my arteries.
Too innocent to know any better, or is it the opposite?
A written letter stained with rubies from my veins.
midnight black, chestnut brown, honey bronzed, chocolate covered, cocoa dipped, and beautiful at the same time, but deeply hiding I am running, running at an intense speed, running from the chance of trul
I'm like wet clay
Altered by the hands of others
Forcibly changed to become what someone else desires
Well liked when expectations are met
I'm cold like a corpse
I am concealed in my mask of mystery
Eluding everyone everyday as to who I truly am
Almost no one knows of my backstory
Of my struggles
Of my woes
They would rather see the mask I wear
If you're not perfect, then 99% of the time, you're not good enough
Mantra, philosophy, motivation
It binds me like ropes
It controls me like a puppet
It restricts me like chains
I’m that type of girl with the needy descent.
I hear the voices surrounding me, killing me, so profoundly.
There’s an acidic curtain made out of the strongest built ever made;
"Look at you, just sitting there
Say nothing do nothing
What's wrong?"
What's wrong?
I'm an introvert
In an extrovert's world.
No time to me
No time to be free
If I pull back the curtain
Will my mask then accept the form of mannequins
Perfectly styled and positioned
Only showing the best I can offer?
Will my true self remain hidden in the shadows
Oh please,
Pay no attention to me.
I'll just sit back here,
All quiet-like,
And continue to pull all the strings.
The world's a complicated place,
And Mama didn't raise a fool,
We all wish for comfort, by any way we can receive it.
We long for it. We ADORE it.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain you say? That curtain may mean the world to him.
I let my hair down
and it poofed in a matter of seconds
I loved it, my Angela Davis look
But they said no, straighter, longer, lighter
So I covered me with Indian Remy
Still they were not satisfied
They wanna know the real me
Behind a curtain I hide
Gazin at the cold streets
Covering my lies
Yet they wanna know the real me
But I cant bare what lies
So sit here by this window
Who am I?
I am a hospital,
constanly being supervised.
I am a heart problem,
that never ends.
I am a twin,
that is left in the dark.
I am alone,
in a world full of people.
Why?
Why can't people see the real me?
I try so hard to be the perfect person I can be.
Sure I'm young, quiet and shy.
But I'm such an amazing person, which many pass by.
Why?
Another geek in the high school newspaper,
A girl with no makeup because fitting in is complicated,
Not the brightest either but I can pretend to be,
Anything,
ANYTHING you want,
just ask and I'll change
Too many distances between us
And I'm not sure what you mean when you say
'We need to take a break'
When what you really mean is 'I can't be seen with you anymore.
It ruins my image-You don't deserve me'
Don`t let me hide and please don` t make hide either,
you have let me down , and you have put me down.
I don `t understand why I have to hide.
This smile.
It wasn't put here becase of happiness.
It is here because of strength.
Akeem state of mind back when I was a boy and rose petals washed on the shores of my feet... Back when we were princes and our crowns weighed just light enough so we could keep our balance ...chins up and chest out
I stand behind a curtain blood red
I step from behind to reveal a version of myself
Everyday I perform for the audience I meet
I am seen by some as a conscious brother who people can rely upon.
I am viewed by some as an ignorant, buffoon who don't know no better.
But who am I really?
Stale eyes stare
Jaded and filled with lost hope
Who is left to care
In world filled with detest
Humanity is losing its way
People define others without knowing
There isn't much left to say
They think I am tough, they think I am mean,
But many things aren't as they seem.
I am a soft-hearted, teary-eyed girl.
I am not like the rest of the world.
I want to love with open arms,
Did you ever wonder why i hide ? , im a shy girl in dispised
i hid their in the night and come out at day
not to associate nor play
i have no friend i get teased alot
Innocence born,
maintain, keep it warm.
Show the world this innocence incarnate,
the world will see and start to hate.
They'll laugh and point saying "you won't get some",
My mask is transparent.
My problems inside, but no one's apparent.
The depression, the anxiety
conflicts caused by society.
All I show is my smile,
so others think I live a happy life style.
When I’m not smiling, people ask if I am okay. My eyes are naturally shaped in a droopy way so that when I have a straight face I actually look sad. At least that’s what I always blame.
She stands tall with great confidence
Everything is planned out; what she's going to do, going to say, going to see
These eyes are sore,
These feet are weak,
I've been crying in my sleep.
This heart does pound,
This heart does sprint,
I've been flying in the deep.
These hands, they twitch,
PEOPLE ONLY SEE WHO YOU PRESENT YOUSELF TO BE, THEY NEVER SEE THE ACTUAL PERSON, SO HERES THE REAL ME.
Why, why are the curtains closing on me?When all I see are little, white eyes looking at me.Yet they can’t see me.Why?Cause the curtains hiding the real me.
SIXTEEN PALE SKIN A MASK SHE WEARS WEARS TO PLEASE THEM
PERFECTION BECAME AN OBSESSION LITTLE GIRL SCARED OF THE REAL WORLD
SCARED OF WHAT THEY MIGHT THINK IF THEY KNEW WHO SHE REALLY WAS
The curtain is my savior
Hides me in the black
Saves me from all the lights.
Helps me push forth a smile
For things
And people
I don't like.
Then I realized the curtain
Screaming chimp, metal ruckusShattering the walls of silenceAs the waves of his throat cripple your peaceBoiled, completely unable to contain the expanding steamYou'd think with a needle, it'd pop
Popularity, girls, sports, and fun
Working out and spending life in the sun
There comes a time to prioritize
Not become what you despise
There is more than simple oxygen
in every
breath
I exhale.
There is every syllable I never divulged,
every word that shimmered along my tongue
I look in the mirror and all i see is sephora, mac, and forever 21 mixed into one.
I live in free country, but not a free home
The choices I make never are my own
I want freedom but can not escape
with a lock on my hopes
within my reach but yet so far
Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain. It's just the real me. Kept inside a seal unbroken, hidden so the world can't see.
i can never truly be me
adults say to be true to yourself
but who is that really?
should myself be what I know i am
or what i should become?
Slam behind the curtain
What I don't want others to see;
Slam behind the curtain
The real and true me.
I'll be sweet and kind,
Gentle and true;
Only God
Can see the real you.
I cant write without it being wrong
I put words on a page, hoping to sound strong
But in all honesty, Im not
Im a weak soul in which fought
Fought to be more than what i am
Through glossy eyes I view the world
In colors to beautiful to describe
But all you see when you look at me
Is a young man with starry eyes
It's not like I haven't faced a crucible
When I see you, I don't feel uplifted.
I don't writhe in my dark bedroom when we're apart.
I don't hunger for you.
When I see you--
When you carry aches no one sees,
And when your spirit is moved,
When I was younger, I was always real shy.
Strangers didn't see my happiness; they didn't see me cry.
Around my friends I had a ball,
but out in public I hit a wall.
I acted how everyone was supposed to be,
Of all those stolen kisses we had
the last was the best
we only started as friends
no
we started as enemies
we hated eachother
we couldnt be more different
we were so wrong
for eachother
Who am I?
I'm not sure.
I fake smiles and laughs.
I try to be happy to please everyone.
I'm not sure
That is who i truly am.
I try to be happy to please everyone
I smile.
I laugh.
I have been described as a hilarious person,
One who makes the days of others.
Who do you think I am?
A quiet girl?
A sweet girl?
A smart girl?
Maybe I am,
But that is certainly,
Not all I am.
Who are you?
Do you even care?
What would you do,
What a particular morning, when the only thing I am able to do is looking for a better life. No one warned me about the power of my thoughts, and I guess it never seemed to be an important subject for myself.
With frightened eyes you look away,
Not wanting to face your own mistakes,
They stare you down and tell you wrong,
Following your side as you walk along
The path people told you to follow first,
