Oh only if people could really see
Even behind these curtains things aren't all perked up as they're supposed to be.
My sole intent is to bring people joy
So no one can end up like this broken boy.
You see acting is just another life up on this stage.
It's another way to release years of pent up rage.
And I'll be honest I can fake a smile
Only because it's been that way for awhile.
People applaud and say "Such a great actor".
But beneath the surface I'm melting down like a nuclear reactor.
It's one thing to laugh
Something completely different to walk my path.
Up on stage I can bask in the center spotlight.
Then back behind the curtains I continue the fight.
This persona is fueled by lifelong depression.
The kind that eats at you with silent agression.
What people see is a character so well and alive.
Who I am is a person that bites down on a knive.
I do not ask for anyones attention.
Just laughter and joy a simple intention.
All this happiness is a temporary escape.
It then functions as this kind of emotional tape.
It seals up every bump and little scrape.
It helps me keep going in my current shape.
It's all just a stage act.
Just understand that fact.
All this happiness gives me one hope.
Perhaps one day that I can move my neck away from this rope.