I became so damaged at such a young age

What I thought was beautiful, real and everlasting only crushed my heart

From my own parents I saw that all that so called “love” goes away

These arms hesitate to embrace the opposite sex

My lips don’t dare to touch another’s

A cycle would just be created

I would be reliving their story

Instead I busy myself with other things

Relationships and all that type of stuff don’t interest me……

I don’t need any of it right?

But the truth is I do and shamelessly crave someone else’s love

Every time my heart screams out to get closer to him, the strings attached to me refuse to let me

The smile on my face can’t stay plastered there for much longer

I can’t take it anymore

There is nothing to be cheerful about

 

For however long, I must continue to hide my desires

One person can only be depended on

It is my self

That is what this world has taught me

There is always an expiration date

What makes “love” different?

All of it gets thrown away

 

So let me continue to put on this show

Eventually they will disregard me

Knowing that “loving” me is useless

It does cross my mind though, what if someone’s heart can be trusted?

Questions like these make me believe differently about “love’

I secretly want it

This shell is a tough one I put on

Forgive me for being this way

Sorry if this goes all against for what you believe

You would understand if you seen and heard what I have

 

Purposely I will make myself unappealing

I will mask my true self and not reveal the truth about me

Help me for I am torn by two sides of my own self

Can you see the real me at first glance?

I am asking you to pull me out of this

Love me, truly love me

With my own hands I can’t get rid of these strings

This loneliness is suffocating

It’s getting harder and harder to breathe