I wear my heart on my sleeve

Have you ever been in love

A love so hard 

A love so deep that you  love them more than you love yourself

You would do anything for them

When they came around you felt as if you could not breathe

It's a love that you never want to end

It's a love that you want to have forever

Then... that special love ends when you guys break up

You cry for days

Thinking its your fault

But wait... maybe it is YOUR FAULT

MAYBE ALL THIS SHIT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT

Because... this isn't the first time this has happened

Oh no you've experienced heartbreak after heartbreak

Every time you fall in love the same shit always happens

He used you like an ACT practice test

Trying to figure out all the right answers to the real test

He used you like a Drivers Ed Handbook

Making sure that he will get all the right answers so that he can get his dream car

or should I say his "Dream Girl"

All in all the point is he never loved you all he ever wanted was to use you

Use you so that he can get practice for the girl he always truly wanted

And that girl was never you

When he ends up getting his dream car or his "dream girl" and that shit lasts

a month or two.... he comes back

YOU LET HIM COME BACK

After you just called your best friend every night stalking all his social media accounts

Making fun of his dream car

Knowing that his dream car is beautiful Knowing that you will never be as good as his dream car

Knowing that you will never amount to anything in life except being a second option

I am that second option

I am the girl who loves so hard because she does not love herself

Who needs the love of a male figure to make her feel whole

I can not sleep at night knowing that I have nothing

Feeling incomplete

Feeling like I am reliving what my father did to my mother

... But still i let him come back 

Because I can't walk away from the thought of being in love....

Even if I know it isnt real love...