Let It Fall

Location

No one notices

They don’t see my pain, sorrow, and loneliness

I cry behind closed doors, and dream of nightmares

Only sharing my thoughts with myself

 

I act as if everything is fine and that I’m happy.

I always aim to please those around me

Doing this I berate others for doing

Even to where I disgust myself

 

I wish to run free and be truly happy

But I’m scared of what those I care about say

I can’t lose them, not now, not after everything

So I continue to hide and hurt myself.

 

This pain in my chest causes me great agony

It worsens as I see others who are like the real me

Laughing truly and their smiles always reach their eyes

Mine sound hollow and my smile pained

 

I form my personal likes based on society’s standards

I have learned to hate myself and how I look

Never being satisfied with who I am

Always aiming to please them and my parents

 

My parents are who I must please the most

To them I like boys but in reality I like girls

I am Wiccan but to them I am Christian

I prefer my friends to my family but they must never know that

 

Every time I want to rip this disturbingly beautiful mask off

The negative thoughts of uncertainty stop me

Will they still like me? Will they shun me?

So the mask is just readjusted and left in place

 

Maybe one day this mask will shatter

Soon it will splinter into pieces and fall

It will set me free and lift my soul

Then those will either love me or be left behind

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