Counterfeit consequences of "comical" 'capades,
Brain's automatic switch to "courtesy" on my face,
Eye contact and generous nods
Belie the underlying thoughts.
Within; I spin,
For the shock of the emotions I actu'lly feel
(Is apparent from my posture and 'stant scowls); "Evil"
Comes to mind,
Lives in mine...
Alone, unengaged, I am Me.
In the presence of company?
Veneer is injected into my lips and the throat.
"Carefree, careful, careless," in my eyes, is clearly show'.
Despite how genuine I (try to) B
None seem to appreciate me, U C?
Not that they should, there’s nothing special
About I; Aye, why try when baleful
Is the only thing to succeed at;
All of the others insist to prat-
-tle on, spitting empty words;
I expose(,) strictly, in verse.
Why should I try? This world is not the one for me
Though I try (to try), I just fail miserably.
Decide to give up – futility IS, Mick;
More apathetic if not so lethargic.
Could(n’t) care less, if I cared at all;
Sure, I made myself this way – to bawl
Solves nothing; temper myself in what’s now coals.
Passion to feel nothing dulled me; when I’m old,
I’ll surely regret this wasted life but
Nothing but nothing in company;
Loneliness is the only kind'a –
Lack of fellowship is to be free…
(To do naught-
(Though to be with the crowd
Is not much more profound.)
No need for a mask, really; seclusion
Is more effective it seems; contusion-
Malignant - manifested at first heart-break;
Asymmetrical sternum: nothing but pain.
“Grew too fast” – my only source of pride is bane.
I cannot ever socialize proper; make
The sincere sloth to go away
No urge to live; the next to-day
(As time has no bearing
In this, my room, very
Much my world, noise blaring
In these, my ears, vary:
Depressing and heavy)
Brings more of the same
Try to begin pray-
-er; though the handicapped heart swells -
Air stifles, victim of my(-)selve’s –
To be sure, I think not myself “evil” –
A gentle giant, I's dubbed by people.
The apparent, unconscious self
Is not I, who, within, do dwell…
At least, as I know me -
Ignorance of you; be
Lost in knowing us,
Then they cannot. Mus-
-ter the gusto to make sense of rambling;
“To understand him, you have to become him.” //
How-for-to to do this when that face behind the cage
Is that blank void we all seek to escape // in socializing, but
Beware that ‘thin us all is that same creeping thing, not inescapable, //
Indeed, a threat – Honesty is necessary, though an incredibly volatile // force.
Exploiting Man’s tenuous perception; That (")Man(") Behind The Curtain… a god, as well as a devil.