I’m that type of girl with the needy descent.
I hear the voices surrounding me, killing me, so profoundly.
There’s an acidic curtain made out of the strongest built ever made;
It’s suffocating me and I can’t seem to do a single most thing.
I ache so much. It really hurts. I think my brain is malfunctioning.
Or is it the others that do not work?
Am I the one with the issue or am I the solution to this grave?
My head is made out of blocks and it scares me to think,
I am actually a walking time bomb ready to beep.
I struggle internally. There is black and white, never baby blue.
The colors don’t arise, since I became such a plague.
I am decaying inside and simply want help, but I don’t admit.
The light inside of me has gone dim. The traction is gone; it fell asleep.
I guess, I simply want to be safe and secure.
I want to be able to smile and stare at the sky with an open heart.
I strive to be confident in what I love and what I seek.
I didn’t know anything before and much less do I know now.
I was always lost growing up. I was the loner and hurting child.
I may have had “friends” but they were never true.
I may have had “family” but family doesn’t let one become so blue.
If one were to search deep inside of me, one would find a desperate child.
I don’t want to be filled with gloom. I want to be ecstatic and happy,
Not scared to really be me. I am a girl who needs you.
I simply need somebody, anyone to be my hero,
Someone who challenges me yet loves me for who I am.
I hate caring for what others think and I know I should not care.
It is so difficult to do what I know must be done.
I just can’t let go of my straggling fears.
I hide my wanting for a happy life.
I hide my true feelings afraid to be looked down upon.
I am miserable and so I hide my hole of sadness too.
I pretend to be strong and care less about whatever may come.
People believe I am to be feared, since I seem to know what I want.
They think I am build of muscle and not of soggy cheese.
They don’t realize I am nowhere near strong,
And I am fighting everyday just to be me.