I do not want them to know
How I am just an empty vessel
My life has been so dull
Ever since I let him go
I was supposed to be my father’s hero
But I failed him, my negligence unforgivable
Slowly dying on the inside, my guilt is fatal
Who would have known that I could be this low?
Who am I now?
I am just another teenager, facing reality
Only with a void in my heart, unfortunately
Yet, after everything that has happened, I am still here, somehow
I cannot confront them about this
I am afraid of their judgment
Maybe one day they will know, but for now I remain silent
I wish I could rectify the past, but all I can do is reminisce
At times, I think about the life I used to live
The serenity that family once brought me, I now lack
Why was I so ignorant? Why was I so dismissive?
It mocks me, the fact that I can never go back
My friends, they are enjoying their lives
If my father was still alive I would be in their shoes
Instead, I am a thousand miles away, trying to survive
But what is the point if I have nothing left to lose?