The True Me?

The true me you ask?
Why the true me is a mystery my dear
No one cares to know the true me
Unless you are related
Or a dear friend you see

Very few know all of me
Few know my past
Few even care
But continue to read if you dare

The true me is a magnificent spectacle.
Very few see it
You see I hide in my shell the majority of the time
Why 99.99999 percent of the time to be exact

Why you ask?
Well half is fear, half is indecision
Have you gone your whole life with such precision that you have no fear?
I have fear
Fear so intense it’s immense.
You see I am not a normal being. I have a disorder that contributes to my fear.
A Social Anxiety Disorder is very hard to live with
Very hard indeed
The top reason I hide
Hide in my shell
Hide from others
The fear is of being judged harshly
Of being rejected
Of being laughed at

Indecision is my other reason
Indecision affects the many, the great of us
But mine may be small but it’s there
I almost show the true me
But I throw it in the sack
For the same reasons as my fear
You see I want others to see me, but it’s hard
Especially when it comes to crowds and meeting others
Others who are as much of a mystery as me

But you see if people cared enough to see who I am,
Here is what they would see
I am a kind, caring, considerate person
I laugh at funny things; I make others smile when they are sad
I am compassionate
I am talented
Art specifically
Photography, drawing, computer graphics are my greatest talents
I am a fire, waiting to emerge and warm and brighten those around me from there dark moods
I am the water, cool and calm
I am the earth, constant and strong
I am the air, quick and relaxing
I…
I am…
I am ME

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