The Battle
I fight a battle everyday.
I see my enemy everyday,
with eyes full of pain,
full of hate,
full of anger.
Pain, but because of who?
Who caused my enemy so much pain?
Hate, but of what?
What does my enemy hate so much?
Anger, but towards who?
Who made my enemy feel this way?
I fight a battle everyday.
A battle that I can not seem to win.
My enemy is stronger than I am,
my enemy knows my every move.
I see my enemy everyday,
when I look into a mirror,
when I see a reflection in a window.
Over the years I have learned how to keep my
internal battle secret.
I know how to keep the emotions,
pain, anger, hate,
inside; on the battle field.
I let no one see who I
truly am.
I hide within the steel curtains that I have up;
I hide the battlefield
because only I can fight this battle.
I wish for no one to see the battle.
I put on a smile,
as fake as plastic.
I laugh as I try to hold back the tears.
On the outside,
there is nothing but happiness.
Nothing but pure joy.
On the inside,
there is
Hate,
Pain,
Anger,
everything that
no one can see but me.
Everything that no one can feel but me.
I hide behind my curtains of steel
because it is where I feel that
I can truly express who I am.
I wish for no judgment,
for no opinions,
for no more hate
in my life.
I hide
because it is best,
at least it is in my eyes,
that no one sees who I
truly am.
I fear that if I let the person I truly am
escape, there will be
no stopping her.
The battle,
as bad as it is,
will never end if
she escapes.