I fight a battle everyday.

I see my enemy everyday, 

with eyes full of pain,

full of hate,

full of anger.

 

Pain, but because of who?

Who caused my enemy so much pain?

Hate, but of what?

What does my enemy hate so much?

Anger, but towards who?

Who made my enemy feel this way?

 

I fight  a battle everyday.

A battle that I can not seem to win.

My enemy is stronger than I am,

my enemy knows my every move.

I see my enemy everyday,

when I look into a mirror, 

when I see a reflection in a window.

 

Over the years I have learned how to keep my

internal battle secret.

I know how to keep the emotions,

pain, anger, hate,

inside; on the battle field.

I let no one see who I 

truly am. 

I hide within the steel curtains that I have up;

I hide the battlefield

because only I can fight this battle.

 

I wish for no one to see the battle.

I put on a smile,

as fake as plastic.

I laugh as I try to hold back the tears.

 

On the outside,

there is nothing but happiness.

Nothing but pure joy.

 

On the inside,

there is 

Hate,

Pain,

Anger,

everything that 

no one can see but me.

Everything that no one can feel but me.

 

I hide behind my curtains of steel 

because it is where I feel that 

I can truly express who I am. 

I wish for no judgment, 

for no opinions,

for no more hate

in my life.

 

I hide

because it is best,

at least it is in my eyes,

that no one sees who I

truly am.

I fear that if I let the person I truly am

escape, there will be 

no stopping her.

The battle, 

as bad as it is, 

will never end if 

she escapes.