I was scared to reach out and hold her hand

I never understood why I did that

Or why I never did

 

I felt the blood

rushing through my face

My face was on fire

 

I was the last person to go

We spent a moment of silence

And then blew out all the candles

 

Yet I always crave love

but I know in the end how it always turns out

They couldn’t care less about me right now

 

I can do hand stands on a fence

But I can not even show love

Through touch or compliments

 

I lied blatantly

I am the hero of the story

I did hold her hand

I did help her wipe off her mascara

And we shared an intimate moment together

 

When in reality I just kept reading

Conscious of my blood colored cheeks

While she cried

And ran out of the room

 

I wanted to recreate the moment

Because that was what I should have done

I think I was scared that she would brush me off

 

And so I never took her hand

I was only left with my words

And the blown out candles