Loneliness
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Why?
Why am I alive?
I sense there is no meaning
I don’t want to die and yet death simply has no meaning for me anymore
You don’t love me . . .
I guess that’s fine
I don’t know what else to say
I can’t force you, I would never force you either way, I love you too much for that
The Autumn sky is vast
there is no end
The swallows fly exultant
at Summers end
I track the endless sands
and land for peace
The innocence of birds
brings no release
I’m waiting currently in an abyss
of boredom, homework, and loneliness
One friend or two I wouldn’t mind
but I have none . . . that’s just not life
She's a pretty loner
Calm, quiet, and always out the way
She doesn’t have many friends
Maybe because she intimidates people in a way
I didn’t mind loneliness until I did
Though better said, is “not noticed”
My plan to go to online school
To get ahead and have more fun
To be alone;
To be afraid.
To be in cold;
To wish for shade.
To cry for help
And want to grow,
To hold an tight
She looks at her self in the mirror.
The pain in her heart is like no other
in the world. She looks at the imperfections
in her self.
“Why am I so ugly”
Sometimes I’m fine.
Sometimes I’m just a little tired. You know?
I know you get what I mean.
Loneliness is a cage
That confines my soul
It keeps me locked up, isolated
Out of reach and out of control
I long to fly, to spread my wings
To soar above it all
But the cage is too small,
PLACES IN MY LONELY HEART
by Debi Lyn ~ Fri 11/04/22 @ ~ 10:30 pm
The boys out there
simply can’t compare
Have you ever felt unnoticed?
Stood silently, hoping to be approached?
Sat and stared at the wall, hoping someone talks?
Stood in a group completely ignored?
This is for the lonely, the ignored, the left out
Some of us are stuck in the past
Positive it's not going to last
Some of us don't want to spread our wings and fly
Some of us don't know how to say goodbye
Some of us think we have few chances
"You seem like you're doing better,"
They say, with hesitation
-
On halfway-bad days I still feel it,
A screaming coal burning itself
Through the tissues of my lungs
-
"I'm definitely doing better,"
You're not supposed to love me.
I’m supposed to relive the past that has taught me to be wary of love that cares about me.
I don't even wanna live anymore
Please God
Make somebody blast my fuckin brains out
I wanna jump
Jump and fly down 40 feet
And splat right down on the concrete
I'm a fuckin failure
Oh why dont you love me
h why dont you look at me
like you used to look at her
like you used to smile at her
embarassment
standing awkwardly
unsure, hesitantly
cheeks aflame with a roaring fire
whispering children now conspire
do i speak or sink into to this silence
others laugh, smile, speak
I like you,
I adore you,
You HATE me,
You don't even know me
you make me like you even more
You're doing something to my heart,breaking but it's beating.
I like you I would change for you.
When you’re stuck at the bottom of the sea
No one can hear you shout
No one can hear you Plea
It’s too deep to pull you out
Many people try
When I was young I was taught to love,
To give, to comfort and to make laugh.
I was taught to say gratitude and blessings;
To have faith and to create my dreams
I was taught to be patient; to be kind and to forgive.
Is it courage or cowardice ?
To cover up the tears when you wanna cry out loud;
Is it curse or a gift ?
To put up a smile when you really don't want to;
Oh does finding answers to these do some good ?
This screen is a window to a world
of friends getting together,
of people finding love,
of people achieving success,
with little to no effort.
I look at all the people presented to me
How, why, what, is this real, for real.
This wasnt apart of the deal.
For you I would rob, steal, even kill at will.
I want to get off this ride, going in circles like a ferris wheel.
It seems that I'm running in circles...Realizing something should be changed,Making efforts I think I've got progress,But, in fact, I'm trapped in a cage.
(INTRODUCTION) (Skip below to read a description of my mom to help understand
the poems.)
The next 6 poems I write are about my mom. My mom passed away when
Sitting alone in a dark room
Wondering if everything that happened was true
As the silence grows stronger and my heart beats faster
I'm now laying down, lost and confused
A day out of 366
Stars spun around and spanned
My words spiced with salts of a hysterics
The loneliness of which is damned
But joy I keep, is even
And when I sip, the life goes on
What happened to me?
Once excitement, now fear
what happened to me?
I burned with desire, now I burn in shame;
what happened to me?
Fear
fear
fear
fear
My world is becoming cold like a tomb
All my dreams are turning to be just illusions
My faith on life is slowly draining
I'm now lying between rock and a hard place
Searching for light from the darkest caves
How rich have I made my unhappiness.
Quite richer than most men among me I presume.
And what of the currency do I so freely give?
It varies case by case so to speak.
So often I give it my time.
Dear Friends, Family Members, Lovers, Ex-lovers, Coworkers, Children, and others of those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder,ymmm may be frustrated, feeling helpless, and ready to give up. It’s not your fault.
Under the tree of love,
without my other half.
A cold breeze of curse,
swift past the heart of gaps.
yell, scream, shout
silence is scarce.
with every word spoken, a new argument begins.
each room of the house is a minefield.
i tread lightly, but somehow always become collateral.
As I sit in the mindst of a raging storm
On seas of black bile that swirl and crash
It spins my mind into a dizzy haze
Inky waters extend for eternity
a neverending night threatens to consume me
The first funeral i attended
There wasn’t too much i understood about death
Relationships that were broken
Now mended
With shared sadness
Hello my guide, my ill-advised guide.
I see you on my shoulder,
wings bent and mocking a pearl’s features.
Do they gleam with motive or ill-intent
that pushes me towards the moving shadows
Hast I lost my eyes, trapped in ceaseless times
Where bleak clouds soar the skies and block my mind?
From these clouds does rain fall; acidic crimes
The cancer of my brain
Makes the world insane
Who am I to blame?
For the lame
Calamity that consumes this sphere
of biodiversity
A world of adversity
People grow in masses
Flipping through the pages of my life;
Felt like walking on a sharp knife,
The more I walked, the more I wished for the walk to end;
A few things in life you can never mend.
falling in life is like sunburn
at first you go bright red and feel warm all over
then it starts to hurt to move
but soon it'll settle and either become a part of you
or it'll peel away
In a middle of conversation
Suddenly wind began to blow
Light descend from the cloud
The air changes it smell
Everyone running helter skelter
Rain all over the place
The weather seem so cool
I have friends.
those friends care about me.
sometimes I need someone to talk to.
I can talk to my friends when I need someone to listen to me.
I am not merely seeking attention because of this.
A passing thought while strolling through the dale.
With their limbs , on hikes , I’ve bumped my head.
Roots caught my boot ,on the floor splayed I spread.
Passing glancing, perhaps giant nemesis they were.
In all the years I have walked among oaks ,
I’ve seldom sat and let their allures soak.
With their limbs , on hikes ,I’ve bumped my head.
Roots caught my boot ,on the floor I spread.
Picture (Im)perfect
Mind blurred like a camera lens
With no clarity left to picture
Tried to wipe away all the painful memories
Shadows sorround me
Nights never go and never ends
Deep waters drowned my hope
And the glittering lights are all gone
Lights of happiness come now
Glimpse your hope to me abound
I knew I shouldn't get excited
I shouldn't get myself worked up
I got a little taste of freedom
Now where am I? I'm fucked!
You took the away the ocean
with which I fell so deep in love
***ADAPTED FROM ORIGINAL LYRICS WRITTEN BY ME***
I'll quarantine my heart
Keep it close but keep it far
From anyone
Who might say they love me
You should have been my cure
Your medicine was never pure
Here I walk, alone,
Down a cobblestone road.
Here I walk, alone,
Left with my hollow thoughts.
Here I walk, alone,
Wondering what to do.
I can't go back home,
Not after what happened.
Her mother, the symbol of absolute perfection
won’t be seen until the resurrection
her father, the symbol of wisdom and power
is gone in his darkest hour
There are rythms that echo through
my rib cage, each bone curving as your
a note gets cut off.
It is hard to hear, when
other heartbeats play loudly like a siren
Its okay to love another, but
Hey mom, its just me, its Mr.B, the runt of the litter of 3, yeah its your family!
You always dreamt of being free,
Living the way you wanted and acting however you feel.
Everything seemed to be going well, but there was something missing there.
Dear Father,
You were there for my birth
At least I think you were
But that’s about it
You saw me growing up
But I would rarely see you
I descend deeper in the dent you made in my heart
Slowly chipping away at me
What had been the shallow end
transformed into an extensive ocean
I knew I'd be here a while so I made myself comfortable
Rain pours, the dogs sleep, and Pandora shuffles my music. From a mason jar I drink my tea. Weather reflects one's mood. Loneliness, longing, insatiable "hunger" and depression burn within; my heart roasting.
I do not want to die.
A temple alone
Gods so beautiful and worshipped
But I so beautiful and cursed
Do they hurt?
You sit in the class and find out
You are the only one looking around
That you are the only one all alone
People talk, no one asks about you
Heart never wants the right things
But the thought of wanting little never arises
Adding new face to same loneliness
Doesn’t really help to heal the old bruises
Spent my childhood playing around in sandboxes
Gripping onto grass crying with desperation to keep from going home
My father prying on my tiny arms because he didn’t understand
-spend every moment doing meaningless things just to make time pass by faster.
-take a hot bath as to finally feel something warm.
If hustle and bustle
Is all that we know,
Then what do you do when
There's nowhere to go?
With lights aglow
And hearts below
How can we not
Want somewhere to go?
Sitting in a box that’s way over my head.
I know it’s made of card, but today it’s dense like lead.
I could claw my way out, or put my foot through the wall.
I sit upon my throne made of darkness,
I am known as the god who is heartless.
But little do they know of the lonliness that engulfs me,
The saddnes and depression that I just can't seem to break free of.
The only thing that makes me happy is being with someone
anyone
my biggest fear is being alone
When I’m alone in my house is one thing
The effect of your affection is wearing out
You shouldn't have waited so long
Kept him wondering if to you he belongs
Only for the agony to prolong
The place has turned vacant, yet
“Give me five good reasons,” said my father.
“Give me five good reasons to negotiate.”
I said: “Nicholas and Thomas,
Mickey and Morgan and Andres.”
“Give me five good reasons,” said my father.
“Give me five good reasons to negotiate.”
I said: “Nicholas and Thomas,
Mickey and Morgan and Andres.”
Dear Diary,
It’s around 10 o’clock
The night is cold
And the moon is standing out, oh so bold
A flashing of emerald trees fly by,
Rusty brick buildings move just as fast, racing the trees.
Sweat drips from a temple, down a neck,
Tangling with short streaky hair.
i think that if i take it into too much consideration,
the momental magic seems to be shaved away.
there were twice as many stars as usual-
Alone
Am I independent or lonely?
I don’t know
Loneliness
A word that has become synonymous with sadness but started out as just being alone
Days grow longer, nights colder;
Everything seems to change. Yet, there’s still me-
I’m unchanging.
Same face, same clothes, same friends, same creation.
Days grow longer, nights colder;
Everything seems to change. Yet, there’s still me-
I’m unchanging.
Same face, same clothes, same friends, same creation.
I
These words I use are truth
Even if I disagree
Because no matter what they mean to you
May hold different meaning for me
Words- to tell a story that otherwise wouldn’t be
Quite easily it is
There I was
A little girl
Who did not know
What life would bring
I used to wonder
“Hello old friend”
I say with a grin on my face
As I stare away blankly towards space.
It’s been a while since we first met.
Alone.
Looking out watching as kids play outside the run-down cheap motel grounds.
Watching as I see a little girl, no older than 5, smile as her mother ran after her.
A Cat and a Change
Constant scrutiny and miscommunication.
The silent critic made life unbearable.
Home was ripped away again,
He loved not once but twice,
And both times it ended badly,
Both times he paid the price
And his story ends sadly.
He was young and untested,
I am the bolt of lightning,
Shocking, fast, and gone in an instant.
I create a smoking crater,
But of who left it I leave no hint.
I am the stormy ocean,
I live with evil creatures in my soul,
I have to fight to keep control.
They yell and scream to be let out,
And then they punish me after every bout.
Once upon a time there was a sad little girlwho sat at the swings alonewaiting for someone to occupy the empty swing next to herso they'd swing togetherand she'd feel a little less lonely
They're sisters
for each other, but still bicker
Family that once was
Then the summer of 2012 comes around
An eleven-year-old girl
Trigger Warning: Suicide
I’m surrounded.
Shadows line my concrete walls,
Reaching out,
They pull at my knotted hair,
There’s a billion stars in the sky
And only one moon.
It’s a gift to be alone,
But a price for solitude.
We all claim to need closure.
And yes, it is quite a wonderful thing to have.
To know the exact science of, why, how, who, and when.
But sometimes that doesn't happen.
She told me with a red face.
Our silent rage crackled around us like lightning in the rumble before the rain.
I heard her whisper- through her teeth,
I’ve always wondered what I look like to other people.
Maybe, as I walk the halls,
People only see my mottled grey-black skin and
I am seven, in my room, dreaming once again
I'm a captain, I'm a knight, I know who I am
I can be just anyone, whenever I want
I'm a brave, ambitious dreamer
No one tells me "Don't"
Suddenly, I am eighteen,
Saw what I want not to see
The breeze brought me there
To the dead space, motionless
Populated with colors and html code
Populated with diaphanous smiles
Images of shop windows
It is not just one, there are many, one for each you
Wounds, Hurt
One for each absence
How much you? How much me? How much of us?
How much time and absence on this goodbye?
It is bittersweet.
I miss taking you to eat
and I miss rubbing on your feet.
I miss having someone to trust
and to be vulnerable with and to lust
after..
You'd eat my broccoli and I'd eat your crust.
Lost among the wandering waves
Caressed by the windy days
I’m alone and content
As I float in the sea-drift
Far overhead gulls cry, “Land ahead!”
As a best friend then brother, now potential life partner
These feelings… These intense, powerful feelings.
As infants grow to become teenagers into adults…
A typical crush grew to become infatuation into love.
nobody understands me
it seems like sometimes im an alien
no matter how hard i try
something always get lost in translation
whys it so hard for them to see
we're really not all that different
When I fell in love the first time,
She felt the same pain as me,
I shared with her a song
One that we listened to together
Its lyrics always soothed us
I am nine years old, and I fear the monsters.
They hide in my closet, under my bed, behind my curtains.
Their shadowy forms leer at me, laugh at me.
I flick on the lights, run to my parents' bedroom.
I’ve gotta get out
I can’t take much more of this
Can’t leave my own mind
I say I’m tired
Partially true, but also
Not everything
There’s always been a darkness
A never-ending pain
A pit of infinite loneliness
A hole within my chest.
I’d tried so hard to be rid of it
There are so many things I want to say
So many thoughts that never get the light of day
After all these years it starts to eat away
WHY DIDN'T I SAY IT
WHY DID I DO THAT
Company is nice
Likeminded people make for good friends,
or one would think.
Common interests go out the window when you can't count on them.
Well, who needs them anyway?
I thought I did, honestly.
I just want my old life back,
I had everything I wanted
A job that I adored,
A hobby that brought immeasurable joy,
And a love that seemed unshakeable.
Walls aren’t made of bricks
Words aren’t made of shit
I haven’t been sick
this is never-ending bliss.
tell Them thank you, please
all those heads, shoulders, and knees
You and I. A million things that could've been and that might still come to be,One hundred things in those three words that can be read between the lines,
She lived a good lie
The sun and the moon rose and passed by
The air around her became toxic
Days after days
Nights after nights
Children's voices chanting a lullaby
Aging was a sin
loneliness is a weird thing.
the thought of going to college
leaving all my friends and family behind, terrifies me.
meanwhile the thought of having to leave my room,
It's hard to feel alone in the world
A piece of you missing
but no one knows
No one sees inside you to that terrible hole
The hole in a space by your heart
The one that screams out for a hand
This holiday is hollow,
These cheery ones are lost.
Everyone is happy,
It seems
Everyone
But me.
I always feel alone,
I’ve been in love twice,
One was dark
The other light.
Both had their qualities,
I loved them for different reasons.
The dark one was like me,
patience is a virtue
in braver hands than I,
like a storm made whole of eyes
‘tis a joke played by minds none too wise.
where does confidence linger?
patience is a virtue
in braver hands than I,
like a storm made whole of eyes
‘tis a joke played by minds none too wise.
where does confidence linger?
Summer turns to fall, and the nightfall is cold and dark
I lay restless, cold and unable to sleep
So, I close my eyes and reach for your ghost to my right
I’m drawn to your heat, and my winter melts into your spring
In a pitch black room
Yet there is no fear.
The thunderstorm and gloom
Yet there is no fear.
In a pitch black room
Yet there is no fear.
The thunderstorm and gloom
Yet there is no fear.
A tight emptiness in my throat
A quick consideration of options but endlessly told to say nothing
Youth does not hide the terror in trying or the knife swallowed as i do nothing
Oh weary traveler,
Who are you to hate the summer?
You, who burns in the winter
Who knows no cozy cabin to call home
You jump from place to place
Play me a song
‘Cause I’m feeling lonely
Like the sad lyrics
Of a Troye Sivan single
Fuck it,
I’ll dance all by myself
To make up for deficiencies
Lacking or discrepancies
To fix or make anew
What's broke and disagrees with you.
"But I haven't sinned!"
I hear you cry
"It went that way alone, awry!"
at the age of twenty-four, i will stand at the foot of my bed and stare down at the single imprint in the mattress
where my body laid for four days.
as a profession of loneliness,
Lonlieness is a curious little thing,it infects our thoughtstakes ahold of me sometimesIt makes me feel like no one would care.Like I'm alone in my thoughtsand that frightens me.Because I scare myself.
shivers down my spine
at the thought of you leavin' me behind
after all that we have been through
you made me think it was always gonna be me and you
now, as you head for the door
My oh my, what is this deadly sensation?
A sickening feeling, oh how I detest it.
Like a chemical reaction, I feel the explosion
Of a million thoughts, the mind's at the limit.
Forever running from my regreted dreams,Those guys just need to let me be.
What happen after he gave up, well lets just say his love was fake as a plastic duck.
I never knew why you thought of it
Knowing you will be missed
Not everything is as it seems
But you never thought of it.
I just want you to know I care about you,
Because I really don't know why you thought
Precious to me is he who's friendship is geater in value than any metal.
He who suffers the pangs of loneliness,
self-mutilation of failure,
stings of two unrequited loves,
labido's growling stomach,
Dancing on the floor
Singing cheerful songs
The world rotates for each movement that is made
Stained in vibrant hue are the lights that illuminate the room
Verse 1
When your out in this world all lonely
You don’t know what to do with yourself honestly
Looking back at your life is a tragedy
Your trying to move along and be strong for insanity
I look at him
And he looks back at me
And I know we remember
I know we are both thinking of that time
Different pages
Same plot
isolation.
seclusion.
the crowded emptiness of popularity
the silent longing and the 'bottomless pit'.
maybe a self-imposed quarantine.
loneliness is the starvation of the soul from the
i don't really know what i'm doing here. really, i'm just trying to get by.
i don't think life has a purpose, but that doesn't matter.
my life has no direction, but somehow, i have a natural optimism. an optimism that is
You brought me into the world,
So gracefully,
You told me you were actually supping soup,
Happily.
The connection I had with you,
Very closely,
So safe I felt,
Much security.
Swinging on a flower petal, I
Wrap my legs around it’s thighs and cry
Welted and darkened stares
Lost in the huge world of Anywhere.
Across the ocean I sat alone
On a petal rested and untold,
I close my eyes and take a step
Right, left, right, left
My hand placed gently, my hip grasped
My right leg traps with the other,
My mind goes to rest
Right left right right
I hate that my heart yearns for you
It will look for in the hallways of our overcrowded school
It wants to give itself to you again
Let you break me
Beside me ever perilous
Stands a figure clear
The wake of every morning
Is outshadowed by him near
He talks of nothing personal
In an era where the only feeling is time
That nurtures a budding, all-consuming longing
A never ending cycle of living, “Should it end?”
Sometimes by Brandon Arthur King Sometimes, the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows.
i imagine myself at the edge of a cliff
i have the entire world at the bottom of my feet
i found how to control the chaos
under the infinite sky
under the shining moon
i have found peace
But,
a bad day, a bad friend, betrayal, hurt
I gave you the worst of my life, yet you took it onto your skin
You were patient as I tried and failed to express my sorrow on your artificial pages
feelings we disect,
fail to digest.
we're both so depressed.
emotions repressed;
show reason less.
we scream and we shout;
dont know what about.
I saved this for us.
you stressed me out.
It’s the devil in DISGUISE,
When you look into its eyes,
You become mesmerized.
An eater of souls and a dark cloud above,
At one point you thought it was LOVE.
You’d give up your LIFE just to have a TASTE.
We, the new generation, are the dream.
We, dentist smiles and thin, diet bodies.
Fluorescent lights, hope for a star to deem
Seeking a connection to you is like reaching out to grab the air.
As I fall down a 20 foot cliff.
-Where are you now?
Sends shivers down your spine
Gives you the chills
Freezes you to the bone
Raises your hairs
Yet it’s oh so kind
It comforts us
Another day, another broken promise
my beloved worst enemy comes to visit again
ridding my body of nutrients
whispering evil to my brain
People get sick, people die
but my disease is secret
It has been fifteen years. Sometimes I wonder
If when I cry you shed tears, too, and I wonder
Will I go deaf soon? I try to drown out your shouting matches.
The percussion leads your voice. The great wave crashes
Every day people pass me by
Like I'm not even there
I want to be noticed
I want to be seen
I want to go about my routine
Without having to worry about everyone else
Or being anxious
The dagger in my heart,
It twists,
Alas, My love for you has only hurt me.
I should have known better
Than To fall in love with
Nothing less than a prince
Who saw himself as little more than a pig.
If I were to have just one wish,
I'd wish for just one careful kiss
Upon my lips-chapped though they be,
Oh, Sorrow! That you can't love me.
counting knots in the wood slats-
the ones i can feel my nonexistent breath bounce off against
the ones holding up the musty mattress that does not get granted a body for most of the year
silent cabin
Lost in a sea of loneliness-
Drowning in this ocean of tears.
I have no life.
I'm suffocated by fear.
Visited the Lord just once-
Guess I've died the second death.
Trapped in my mind to scream and yell;
You have been held many moments
But in the morning, what's to find?
Face after face, all fading into one.
Growing cold and distant-
Wondering if your heart is still capable, of just coming undone.
The ones that sit alone, in the back, that are quiet
have reasons.
Not many can understand them
I have this ideal,
This unattainable goal;
If I could make it real,
I'd finally feel whole.
These times alone I enjoy,
I mean no deceit.
But solitude I'd gladly destroy
She's not a snowflake
Like the rest of us.
She is the cloud.
And she is disappearing
As the rest of us fly
Down to safety.
Dear Me,
Soon, you’ll see, very soon, when the moon’s out,
In a glorious afternoon where it’s rare
To see her scout amongst the chaos ‘round,
You will see a girl starring eastbound and,
To the one who doesn’t feel like their enough,
or worth it,
or accepted.
Not beautiful,
Or enough,
Or loved.
I have a secret to tell you.
It isn’t whispered but shouted.
Dear Loneliness,
Quiet cricketing fills up the silence of the night
The fresh scent of grass lingers around me
The moonlight casts a soft glow across the sky
day after day
i try to communicate yet i never seem to succeed
week after week
i try to meet expectations but never hit the mark
year after year
i fight with the school to get the help i need
im trying my hardest to keep my head up
but ive been pushing through as best i can
no matter how hard i try i cant seem to make friends
it seems as though i'll never be able to communicate
My soul holds words my mouth will never speak.
My mouth shares words my mind doesn't think.
My mind contains thoughts my heart will never seek.
My heart overflows with love that I am afraid to leak.
My love is a lie.
A terrible, wonderful lie,
but a lie all the same.
I have no passion, therefore
I have no love.
So why do I love you?
Voices inside my head
They cloud my mind
Keeping me up at night—they call my name
A little here, a little there
I must be crazy
Dear D,
You’re my worst enemyWho is always there with me,
From the moment I awakeTo the thoughts that I make.
Dear Depression,
Another day has come and gone
with moonlit rays receding to the approaching dawn.
Why, oh why, do you make me feel all alone
even with friends coming to and fro?
Best friends are those who are in the bad and the good, despite the bad.
Those that make you cry in laughter and emotion at the same time for any
reason. Those are the good friends, right?
Alone, that is how I felt
How we felt.
As I look back and realize
You were never alone, you
Had your thoughts, your dreams, and your goals.
They scared you. They broke you, they broke us.
I’m kind of sick and kind of sad
But if I’m honest
Neither one really fits
‘Cause only a few have hearts good enough
For life to take an ice cream scooper
And dig the carton of their soul hollow
You are never alone,
You are always being followed.
An elusive entity
That is connected by a thread.
Dear Mother,
Did you ever consider you didn’t love me?
Perhaps, only the idea of me.
I gave you purpose which you sought so desperately, I filled that void, that loneliness left deep within you like a chasm.
Dear Friend,
You are a gift, a joy.
I treasure you.
But sometimes,
I remember that I
am always the first to text.
I am the first
to ask how you are,
I don't have scars
I've never felt the tension
and the sweet release
a surprise so pure
and innocent
Breaking the surface
raw, primal pain
sharp breaths
Tangy, coppery
Aching hands
Bloodied taste
Bottle caps
Dirty clothes
Ink stains
Letters returned
Old tears
Broken heart
Music blaring but yet still unheard:
The price to pay to fill these pages
Alone
climbing alone
sweating on hands
and burning in heart
under those morning gray skies
whose presence softly but rightly underscored
the rhythm and poetry filling my ears
These mist-covered
Mountains
Have dragged us
Into harm
But not even this
Fog can
Separate us
Brothers in Arms
These sun-baked
Sand dunes
Have dragged us
Such phantoms
Accompany no one else
Such time is spent
In no other hell
The only light is a tiny spark
Behold; a writer in the dark
Trapped and wrought
In a cave so lonely
From this decrepit window
I see the clouds flash brilliance
Orange and purple and pink,
Colors so foreign to this tiny room,
Colors that make you think
From this sorry window
Heaven wafts through the house
Smoked brisket, mac n' cheese,
Mom's homemade cookies
Ava excitedly talks to me
About Achievement Hunter
Those crazy guys are at it again
The way she is , she is loving it
She have started the voyage
The journey to discover
Discovering the lost
Finding the new which has evolved
Dear Loneliness,
I remember how you came into my life at the age of nine
When all my friends stood together at the front of the lunch line
Dear Winter, My Winter-
Let your chilly hands race over my skin.
Let the callouses on your fingertips ease my heart.
This dance we've done-
Centuries old, running on instinct alone now,
Early dawn in the bed when you cried out for your mother
And you choked on your tears as they rolled you down the stairs
They said by god’s grace but it was really just a stretcher and sirens
I met a boy in my dreams
He was young, only seventeen
We met on the purest day
In our beds we did lay
Warm sun, cool air
Dear Mom,
This year has passed in the blink if an eye but it feels like nothing has really happened.
I have been stuck in this rut of monotonous living, even though new things are occuring all the time.
Dear best friend,
I already love you.
I'm in love with the way you smile when you look into the sky.
I adore the little wrinkles your nose makes when you laugh.
I love the melody of your voice.
In a room full of people, she feels all alone,
in the back by the wall, where she is never known.
In a room full of people, she sits by herself,
slowly drifting away from everyone else.
I burn the pages
of my oldest notebooks,
erasing the ages
that have passed me by.
I remember the old days,
and cheerful jokes told
paired with a longing gaze,
and my calloused fingertips.
Do you know that feeling?
That terrible, awful feeling when you wake up and
Panic because you have no clue where you are?
Do you know what it’s like to wake up like that everyday for 10 days straight?
White walls.
I am the invisible woman.
My name is ‘I Don’t Know’.
I am nothing and nobody
from nowhere
going no place in particular.
My body is made from mediocrity and wasted potential.
The rain was
pelting
pelting
pelting
everything
as a young person ripped through New York streets
like his feet were actually parts of a jet engine.
To my long-lost friend,
While my time here has been too long
And my life too short
I close my eyes to hear your voice one more.
I wait in the now quiet hallways where we used to sit and laugh
hello,
in the backyard of the cherished soil,
where my love always falls flat like
swollen notes i never sent.
comma
i stare at you while
the sun rises. the red
solo cup in my hand has been
Alone, in a destroyed forest
It stood in the middle
Elegantly composed
Surrounded by burnt trees and flayed shrubs
What is your fear?
We all have fears.
Some of us many,
Some of us few.
I'll tell you mine.
You don't have to tell me yours.
I'll just let loose my heart,
And pray you won't crush it
You’ve always been there.
From the day I met you my breath was taken away.
You became my drug:
My heart races when I am with you.
I'm splitting apart
Every version that I've been
Wants to weigh in
Romance takes her chance
There's a gem of a truth
I can believe in
This is the time of our lives that everything changes inside. Left is now right, day becomes night I feel it inside that I am not alright. Save me now, save me now take me down the right path, of endless glory that I will never give back.
The thing about my garden is,
When all the flowers wilt,
I cannot find the strength to
Plant new ones.
-ajh.
She was my sweet Lovely Queen...
And she deserved nothing but the best...
She shouldn't have accepted nothing less...
And here I was so very very Blessed...
At times giving her a sweet soft caress...
Dear friend, why do you not speak to me anymore;
Overtime, you slowly closed that door;
You locked it firm, while I knocked for help;
Your words pounded me like an asteroid belt;
I've spent my life in closets
First, it was the closet of a loner
A child without friends in a world of hate
The closet was small, suffocating, and lonely
He drives his Lincoln fast down those dirt roads. Too fast sometimes. He isn’t suicidal, or maybe he is. He wouldn’t mind if the car flipped, it was exhilarating, to say the least.
Cut me open
tear me apart,
This life wasn't chosen,
so rip out my heart.
Replace it with stones
so that I may turn cold.
Only then will I not care and still know
A Strange Reality
------------------------
I know nothing of love
They say it is divine,
"You'll know it just when you fall in".
They know nothing at all.
I think it's so rare.
My first real fall was when I scraped my knee.My first real scar was from a needle piercing my skin, in the wrong spot.My first real cry was when pointless things hurt me.
The big bad wolf, that’s my name
My monstrous appearance is the one to blame
These claws for clawing,
These jaws for gnawing.
When I come near,
I’m in love with the kilometres between us, I’m in love with the distanceBetween your eyes and my eyes and your arms and my arms and your place and mineI like that you like what I like and that I like what you like
There was once a time in a far off place
A town sat about a strange, but not unfamiliar, monolith
Stood there a palace built on hate and waste
For almost a moment, my head careens
my heart flutters,
my legs lean.
But I open my eyes: it was only a dream.
Not even a dream; perhaps a wish
a touch in the dark,
a lipless kiss.
There once was a lonely Giant
Who hated all others, he said
He would let no one live with him
He sought no-one’s company
Who hated all others, he said
I wake up to disaster. I go to be in loneliness. I spend the whole day in depression.
If you love me then say so, but I wont believe you anyways.
Water rushes without the light
All alone, a lonely plight
A whoosh of air, I’m not alone
A bright, bright light
Your face then shone.
Does anyone listen
To the bird perched upon the tree.
The one who tries to listen
The one who always sees.
Does anyone listen
Face plant off the third floor The blood splatter paints a pretty picture of why he didn't matter And who's sadder the committer or his encouragers Such a shame he had no one around to feel his hurt
my eyes won't get any less redand my heart won't get any less deadif you were to buy me everything in the world,or lay me down in bed
What if Dad bought us a Volkswagen
And taught us how to drive
I’d take it into the woods
And drive and drive and drive
I pitched a tent at Kayoke
Among desert sands around
Grown tired of reg’lar folk
To wilderness I am bound
I sang a song so merry
Dearest Lover,
You are not under my covers.
Where are you, my Love?
I was promised I would find my dove.
He’s taken the lead
Left me in the dust I raised
But he’s still looking at me, pulling me through instead
The world he’s lived in, explosions of color and haze,
America is great,
Full of perfect people,
Speaking perfect language.
They say speak child,
you are now free.
For here is America,
the land of opportunities.
So I speak.
Please forgive me for what I have done,
This weight on my chest weighs a ton.
The life I have I fearfully regret,
But what I've done I'll never forget.
My arms are scarred here and there,
A tick tock noise from the clock in my room
Knocks my head on and on
Till it wakes me up in the middle of the night,
So I found myself looking right at the ceiling
My body starts sweating
I don’t eat strawberry-flavored
Candies, save Laffy Taffys or
Starbursts. I don’t eat oranges
Or brown bananas. I’ll only eat
Hello,
My name is broken
A heap of letters left on a tattered floor
Shards of my identity, opaque from the settling dust
Hello,
A friend asked me how to be a writer.I wanted to say,lock yourself in a room,scream until you have a poem and no voice.Open your veins and bleed until you know that your bones
I write because
if I didn’t
you’d find me dead with
a pen by my side.
I try to break free
from the bones that control me,
he shut the door as he shut his eyes
Seconds ago
he kissed his brother goodnight
Minutes ago
he told his parents he loved them
Hours ago
he stared at his teachers blankly
Days ago
Settling downward, the road’s early haze
Unable to see height of trees as I gaze
The world now shadowy, and dim, and shy
Seamless grey stretches across the chilled sky.
I once wandered the lands- with nothing but the dust.
The journey I took- I had no one to trust.
My year long journey- began in the spring
It was at this time, lonliness began to sting.
What would you do if this happened to you?
Wake up in a room with no one else left to hold
With no one but yourself and these thoughts all alone
They say we’re all unique
Each perfectly imperfect
But I see nothing good in my reflection
My head fills with self-loathing
Never pretty enough
Ten years agoWe met in school<br>I was a nerd with glasses<br>And you were overweight<br><br>High school found us much the same<br>I was no cooler, and you were no thinner<br>But you had my back, and I helped yo
I remember.
I remember the fears.
I remember the confusion.
I remember the pain.
I especially remember the lonliness.
I remember the tears.
I remember the depression.
I remember the disdain.
Love the one you’re with
For you don’t know if today
Will be the closing
Of what you once secured
The belief that love stays true
One step forward
Two steps back
Is this ever true
One move closer
Two backtracks
Creates new paths for you
One truth found
Two lies learned
A year ago I thought nothing could get worse
It will get better- After all, it is January the first
Underneath the bedsheets, I cried and cried
Silence is fine- After all, it is better than to confide
I am,
A worshipper,
Of the heart, bound to find
Strange ways to fill the loneliness,
In it.
#cinquain
Who are they?
They won’t let me know.
I was just 3
When they took me home
Now I’m 16!
I ask who they were.
I reached out to the sun, but he burned me
No matter how I approached, I was scorched.
The sun seemed to burn brighter each day for months
I wanted to be close, to feel the warmth
That's not how it works,Being a wallflower.There aren't perks.The reality is, to make friends,you have to talk first.
I am not lonely.
I am not lonely.
I am not lonely.
I am not lonely!
I am not lonely.
I AM NOT LONELY.
Since I was a little girl,
I dreamed of being a ballerina.
And now look at me:
Caught up in this twisted dance for fools.
I wished for nothing more than to have stage,
I started it again yesterday,
slicing open my skin with a broken razor blade.
I hid the broken peice of sharpened metal in my makeup compact,
and I cried all day.
I still hear the children playing,
They have their own homes now.
I still hear the horses running,
They have passed away now.
I still hear the rain falling,
When all is said and done
When the light of day is gone
When the single key is turned
And the old dust greets
the lights are put on,
When the familiar lends to desire
And the beautiful
There are things in my nightmaresThat come out to dance and playThings that I rather wishWere very far away. But that is the nature of nightmaresTo come and try to stayAnd no amount of pleading
Expression: showing emotions through colour --
Music -- words -- creation.
You give other people insight
Into your feelings, because
Humans Are Social Creatures.
When you're healthy and young,
This thing, is breaking me apart,
But it keeps me breathing,
Even though my heart is bleeding,
It over comes me from the inside out,
Strands of pink, faded dull,
Fear of being myself.
Fear of being someone else.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of my brother and his harsh words that harden my heart.
I am cut from a seperate fabric than the rest.
My material is a vibrant red while everyone else's is a pale blue.
They try and tell me, "You are blue! Just like us." Yet I am not color blind.
I see the difference.
Where are you now?
You promised to always be by my side.
You promised to never leave
You said this day will never come
But yet, you had to leave
Why? Why are you gone?
What did I do wrong?
The Wolf in the sky howled until he grew big enough to swallow the moon. And there was no light left but the stars which he could not reach.
This is goodbye.
Goodbye to the changing trees,
Who always have an opinion on life.
Goodbye to the pack of wolves,
Who always try to rip me apart.
I wish i could show you,
What this really means,
I wish I could tell you,
How I really feel,
I wish you would listen,
But my voice is too small to hear.
I want to raise my voice,
The demons live,
They live inside me.
They tell me not to eat,
They tell me to cut.
They tell me I'm not good enough,
They tell me nobody cares.
And I can't escape them,
Have you ever met someone,
And thought that it was for real,
And that the friendship would last forever?
Have you ever had that person stab you in the back?
Or lie straight to your face?
Chameleons have it lucky,
They can blend into their surroundings and dissapear almost completely.
Sometimes I feel a bit like a chameleon,
Invisible to the world around me,
But the only difference is that,
Kneeling against these creaky doors,Lazily carving incisions,To take back my skin from the pain,Then I decided to spew out,A chalice of apparent relief,And fall into the puddle,Letting the tears benumb the stench,My insides clenched onto the despa
Do you remember that night?
When you and I lay on that couch,
That couch with stains from different nights,
And you said you’d never live my side,
Come rain come shine?
Alone I was when I sat underneath the trees Somewhere far in an abandoned park
A slight wind came as a cold breeze
I used to talk to trees. Often I sought their branches to hold me when I felt my body to small to contain what I held. They would talk me back into it- taught me how to grow inside a husk
The shadow of you lingersAround me.It mimics the feel of Your touch,Your warmth,Your lips. I teases me with memories that are better as memories.
Her hypnotizing eyes, so full of life look at me.
Her luscious lips stretch into a charming smile.
She reaches out for me.
Her warm, sweet breath hits my face.
I embrace her, but only manage to hug empty air.
You're the one I'm waiting for. I know you'll never know.
The times I dreamed of you, the nights I woke from fear of losing you.
I'd give my world to you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.
Long, frightening fingers of darkness stretch.
My eyes I force shut.
My soul it tries to fetch.
The evasive sleep,
Into a dark abyss I slip.
Her eyes remain glued to her scruffy shoes,
As she roams aimlessly around the streets of uptown Nairobi.
She wants to keep her eyes veered away from the world,
So nobody can see just how wet they are.
There are a few things you should know,
About me and my life,
And what I've learned to not show.
You don't know what I feel,
I keep it well hidden,
But maybe I shouldn't,
Behind this stained glass wall
I see you.
Broken and alone
Behind the color and perfection.
Countless times,
I have tried to break through,
But unfortunately
You may be wondering
How your pain goes unnoticed.
Feeling like you're screaming,
And nobody is even looking in your direction.
How is it possible
That nobody hears?
Loneliness
Lying in this darkened room
Trapped inside my thoughts.
I feel heat creep up behind me
Next thing I know
Your body
Pressed against my body
Oh, how I've missed this.
Slowly,
STEAL ME! Oh Turquoise Soleil,
Stuff me in your sack of toys to play.
OH just take me away in that Santa Clause bag.
Strip away my loneliness,
Give me to a friend.
STEAL ME! Oh Turquoise Soleil,
Stuff me in your sack of toys to play.
OH just take me away in that Santa Clause bag.
Strip away my loneliness,
Give me to a friend.
She sits on the edge of her bed.Inside, she feels so dead.She has mastered the art of hiding.Yet she is now tired of trying.She is thinking maybe it should end.Not the relationship, not the feelings,
Stretching on and on
For miles and miles
Everything pure white
And dull gray
And dirt brown
A path of gravel
Your footsteps echo
In the silence
By themselves
Nobody else
An ache in your chest
Dunno where we stand
Happy memories ablaze
Standing hand in hand
Where it all began
Nobody can say
The end was unexpected
A world fell apart
Stability wasn't a thing I would have known
But it got better as I had grown
I thought it was the reason that I cried
But it's really because of my sadness inside
What am I supposed to do
It’s Christmas.
My first without you.
I try to act happy, but I can’t.
I want you back with every once in my body!
Time is valuable
It is not malleable
I cannot change it
But use it like money, I can only spend it
I took the time to discover
And the rumors I had to uncover
Oh, the lovely corner,
a home and friend of mine.
Oh, the lovely corner,
your comfort is divine.
Oh, the lovely corner,
“Nothing”
written for those who think that there is nothing to love.
Nothing never disappoints
because there was never anything to compare it to.
A white cloak wraps around me
I’m not cold, not on the outside
I pull it closer still
Maybe I can stop the cold
I see you walk away
You are not alone, but your mind makes you think that way.
What if you're actually alone,
Just not accepting of the fact?
Maybe. Maybe I am.
You're nothing, but a low life, not even wondering where all the bad went, but she is.
She's nothing, but a low life, loved with all her heart, and still failed to be faithful.
A girl walks up to the gates of a new school, her yellow dress sways in the breeze as her parents call farewell.
The school stands looming above her
Laughter of other children surround her
The fog fills the city
Smoky tendrils wrap around the silence
The moon is hidden, barely a whisper of its light survives
The fog shadows everything
She
pens her whispers into hushed handwriting.
shouts her fears, thoughts, angers into the cold clean air.
slinks through every inhalation that passes,
You don't need my confession
To know that I'm struggling with depression
it follows me everywhere I go
and I wish it wouldn't show
I can bury my face in other things
How do I fill this void
I have tried distractions and diversions
But I am still a very sad person.
I try not to lose my writing passion
The boy stood at the edgeHe looked up and down, side to sideHe just wanted to end the fight the one he called his life
I often hear people ask, for fun,
"What would you bring on a deserted island?"
Some think of survival and bring their gun.
Others want to explore in the highlands.
In all seriousness, what would I need?
Everyone needs food, water, and air,
Most people need parents and care.
Some people need games and music,
But only a few need others to share.
Truly, I am one of those few.
Though You only work on wi-fi
I still need You by my side.
I wouldn't use You to call anyone
Since no one would come.
The only thing I desire
Is for Your volume to be higher
50-60-100 songs
If the yearning
has passed
and I am no longer aghast in the rooms of my heart,
I’ll be going now.
If desire has ceased dripping
from solicitous lips,
the future is a yawning abyss,
Somebody once said No Man Is An Island,
But I'm on this Island immersed in desolation without you,
To be stuck on a virtually deserted island is painful enough...
No technology.
No family.
No friends.
Food?!!?!
Ok. So maybe I can do without the technology. It'll be better for my brain...
Eyes were like a window
Transparent as glass
Revealing nothing but the slate concrete and ruffled grass beyond them
Gripping his sky-clad hand hard,
We trekked down the quiet road
Never have I stared at the leaves of a tree for so long.
Listened to the acorns dropping from above.
Felt among the stars in my loneliness.
For I am in search of something, some balance.
mine is the house with the jungle yard,where snakes may catch you off your guard,but the snakes eat the rodents and the birds eat the bugs,and i peak at the school bus through a wet shrub,
An Illusion is defined by something that is or is likely to be wrongly perceived
Or interpreted by the senses
I was once like that, dillusioned and deceived
Thanks to my naivity, I had faced dired consequences
I lay here,
sun burning,
hot air.
I'd shake with laughter,
like the trees when wind rushes by,
if only you were here.
My mind is the wick of a lit candle,
slowly burning out.
Please, let’s keep our delusion going.
I’ll beg you through the seasons,
Stay wrapped up in my sheets.
Stay close to me, my darling.
I’ll write love songs on your skin,
Standing on the highest cliff,
Overlooking the forest,
She nods to the caring hawk
That wonders what could possibly be wrong
With such a perfect creature.
She watches over the sleeping cougar,
I feel like I've beenSitting on a swingWaiting for someone to push meBut sunset comes
I am empty.
A vacant house.
Through my halls, silence reigns.
There is no one to turn on the lights of the room.
There is no proof of life within me.
There is only an empty shell.
Until it happened.
Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore, We are neck deep in denialshouting from our lungs,We are starving head cases.We are two am phone calls to our mothersaying, Mom, I messed up.
Stranded on an island... I am alone.
In an osasis I find some peace, I am alone.
In the dark night without heat... I am alone.
Wading in the blue lagoon under the hot sun, I am alone.
say whats in the crowded space above your nose
open your mouth and say it
what about the backlash
what about the pain come hither
no
will not
shall not
The silent air tonight says more
Than anything I've said before.
It’s filled with the words I cannot speak.
Are you too deaf? Is my voice too weak?
I just want to know what it feels like
To matter.
To matter to someone, something, I just want to know how it feels.
It seems like everyday
I make everyone feel appreciated,
Feel wanted,
One mistake can suffocate
The tears I've wept
the nights I never slept
trying so hard not to be unkept
but all I do is cause a rause
I have this day of dark clouds
Tumultuous days gripping my life
Green is the first coloryou found home in becausethe grass you trod with barefeet was never disagreeable.
It almost felt like itwanted you, and you’d soonforget what that’s like.
On this earth we are wondrous creatures
we hold so much beauty and promise.
It’s our only instinct to change the world
to be remembered in one way or another
will They find the body?
will She care?
Finally.
I can't get the smell out of my head
The lights dance, faltering
like they did over the shattered glass
Living,
What's the point?
Without friends and family,
Why am I in this joint?
Without love,
Without care,
What am I gonna do?
I simply cannot do this
Without you.
It's true.
I lie here in your sordid cave, littered with cold light and the stench of blood, dividing my heart.
I can still feel where it once throbbed, my now bloodied chest, yawning for its return.
Laughter fills the room
but a place empty
No flowers were to bloom
Just a late night memory
They come and they go
When I thought about my life,
I knew I couldn’t live without
My friends, my family, my love
And all my things, scattered about.
Except my world has quickly crashed,
The rain poured, and I stayed inside.
Plenty of clouds, not a drop of light.
Can't go outside, so I turn on a song
Started feeling lonely before too long.
Come on over, we can dance together.
Now, as I look upon this empty room I am alone, but not quite lonely. Voices carry on, with no face. Footsteps with no person. What I have realized is. There is no one left. Everyone's gone. I'm alone. Again. But.
I cuddle my secret teddy bear at night
Holding him close to my chest so tight
In the midst of loneliness he can be my friend
Someone to be there, even if it's pretend
For I may be young or I may be old
Heart sick, a sticky nauseating feeling residing in your chest, cemented goo, the trigger of an urgent need for elimination. Alarming the body that something is amiss, frightening, albeit recognisable.
Your words fell like grace and warmth
They rolled down my shoulders like the water in the shower
I could breathe when they consumed me
I was safe as they drowned me
I wanted to live inside them
There are moments when the Silence
Threatens to destroy me.
When the lack of noise is pressing down
And I’m not sure I can breathe.
Imagine this huge castle- and in this castle, you’re the king. Or a queen or whatever. But there’s nobody to serve you- and yet you’re happy to be alone and rule a world entirely your own.
Pretty face, heart not yet stone; run the world but feel alone. Heartless friends are what I know; if they care it doesn’t show. Always giving all my heart, always loyal from the start. Change my looks change my ways anything to make them stay.
and I walked outside and nearly broke my neck
trying to watch the stars because
that’s where I came from they tell me
but if the galaxies are in my bones
I have yet to feel his presence on my life since I was a child, I have yet to see the power that he held over me in my times of need and happiness, have yet to see what and how his mind influenced mine through the arid days of summer to the frigi
my safe haven has always been the library,
nestled among shelves upon shelves of beautiful, beautiful books
old with new and new with old
a mixture of the best and the worst of society,
I haven’t written in a while, and maybe that’s because my stomach turns when I think about writing.
See every time I pick up a pen with the thought of pouring out my feelings, my brain turns to you.
They say it gets easier as you get older
That you stop being scared and your only fear is being late to work
If that's true, then why am I sitting here rocking back and forth
Who am I?
I am the new definition of loneliness if it ever needed one
I am unseen
I am alone
I am unwanted
Trapped in this place I can't call home,
in a city so dead
This is who I am
My brain is taking complete control
and it just won't stop.
I keep shaking all the way to my soul;
I can feel my heart drop.
My hands go over my ears,
This artist is prisoned,
In thoughts of grassy head.
Many things describes him,
But few expresses.
He is empty with childhood memories,
Away from freedom of another soul.
To be touched and crushed by something that I least expected it from.
It came close to my heart, but killed my soul when it was done.
The core of my affection
something he will never see.
I shoved it down beneath
and I never let it free.
He must think he is hated
Because I never acknowledged him.
But when he is around
When I am aloneNo one can hurt me anymoreNo one is able
To tell me a lieAnd injury my precious heartBut there is still pain
No matter what I write
Behind the screen of doubts
A mental prison of night
Obscured by the formidable shouts
This poem is a conversation between two people. The colors represent the person in the relationship who is speaking:
One night the storm came back to claim me as its own
There are two pieces of me,One of which you'll never see.It's shattered and broken-And shall remain unspoken.
Dry sobs are the worst.
The tears you feel coming
But never let escape.
The repairs for a sick heart
Poisoned by your own stubborn ways.
When you know how much it hurts
The standard brand
Walking through hand in hand
Clad empty stares
Hair tucked behind ears
Self and Clone
You are never yourself
No one can help you
Yourself and your clone
All alone?
Don’t help me
I don’t need your help
I can do everything by myself
But thanks for offering anyway
Don’t sit with me
I just love to be alone
As we sit here in this liminal space
Do you feel that?
Do you feel something?
Do you feel anything at all?
Truck stops along the 5 and
The middle of the woods
High school hallways on a Sunday.
i can be alone;
i have been alone
for quite some time;
it’s fine, i will be
alone, but
don’t worry.
Maybe it was the way you talked
Or maybe it was the way you walked
Maybe it was those moments you looked in my eyes and told me im beautiful
Maybe it was the lies you told that kept me interested
Abandoned
Deserted
Isolated
Solitary
Solo
On your own
By yourself
You are your own company
Everyone’s felt this before
You know it’s true
My body has a language
my mind just can't explain
I'm falling out of this world
and into a frame
Insanity never came
Labeled on a shelf,
the only person I cant make happy
is myself.
The kid sitting alone at lunch
Looks shamefully down at his lap
He doesn't want to see everyone talking
Brilliant flame among the dull ice
shines brightly, bearing happy thoughts,
but among the dead throng of ice,
nothing burns or melts, but grows icier still.
Why?
Comet bright and bold caressing the heavens
Though many people surround me, I still feel alone. Even having someone to call my own, I still feel alone.
In a dark room,
There are trembling lips,
Her eyes are crystal,
Her lips still perfectly molded.
The smile won't seem to leave.
No matter where she sits,
No matter how much she crumbles,
My "best friends" don't even want me around,
So most of my time is spent underground,
Spilling my thoughts and some tears onto paper,
Hoping someone notices before I volitalize into vapor
Her fingers tremble with the unsaid words that urge to ink the blank page.
From the green depths of her eyes lay sadness and tinges of regret.
Across her arms are slashes made by herself.
I was ok
Before you
Anyway
But you came
And went
Left me standing in ruins
And crying in a downpour
All those attachments I made
Are shredded ribbons
Orange light seeps through slightly parted curtainsThe room is dark but for a rail in the nightThis bright yet dull orange lightThat guides the way down a pathYet creeps from behindStalking and waiting
Our clan is crumbling
behind closed doors
sealed with pride
and locked by sorrow,
seen by all
yet known by none.
The walls are glass
but windows opaque
reflect suspicion
Crying, screaming, with a runny nose until your voice is hoarse,
suffocating slowly from all the noise even though there isn't any force,
When a house is dirty, we clean it.
We sweep away the dust and scrub away the stains until there is
nothing left
to remind us of the
wreckage
Memories are a part of me,
They drift apart from me.
So many thoughts, just like my old matchbox cars,
Simpler times---remember pogo sticks and toy guns,
I travel by train and I look out
My window, my legs are too close to the grey-man beside me
Headphones in, power chords, progressions
I am progressing, and my knees
Need a shave; they catch on the silk of his suit.
Our life is full of lies and misconception
My presentation of myself is a lie
if only if someone can look behind my smiles into my lonely heart
if only if someone can tear down my walls once more
It's a big world for sure.
There's no doubt about that
And honestly, that's ok.
Except for my loneliness.
What with the world being so big.
Who is that lonely girl
Sitting on the corner of the street
Who is that lonely girl
Not saying a word while she eats
Who is that lonely girl
Wearing the outdated shoes
Who is that lonely girl
Hey again.
It's just me.
I got nothing to say
No games to play
No place to lay
It's only me.
Im here by myself.
and you used to come here with me-
but i guess that segment of our relationship has
come to a close and
i don't know if i can wash the taste of you
out of my mouth
forget the scratch
The inspiration escapes me today.
Between me fathoming my thoughts,
And what I could dream of,
And what I could think of,
The effort escapes me.
And I do not feel the purpose.
Immune to love immune to pain
Feelings, thoughts unfelt, in vain
Her eyes aligned to vacancy
Trapped in remains of broken dreams
A cold facade, call her a fraud
But if only you could see,
Thumbing through the past,
I remember when Kenny Kwan
punched me in the face and broke
my glasses.
I spit up blood like a spittoon
and floods of tears drowned my words.
It is cold,
and I am lonely
like an indigent beggar
in the borough of Manhattan
where the rich and the poor
live in their ghost worlds.
I yell at the wind
and it roars back.
I saw you last night, stumbling over sentences and pretending to be fine. All glassy eyed, nearly weeping through your own punch lines.
When you're left alone with no family to turn to
self confidence and worth becomes hard for you
Your confidence is shot your dreams diminished
never has anyone felt so finished
I miss having hickies;
you still leave me
love notes, once in a while.
But never on my skin.
Love is not love
when you have to think about it.
Serene, still and calm I lie,
Stretched beneath the heavenly sky,
Lapping the dewy grass around me,
Silently I ripple and smile.
For long, long days,
I watch the birds overhead fly,
I am tired and lost in my empty world
Looking for answers to my questions
Where do I belong?
Where do I go next?
What am I missing?
Am I in the wrong life?
Is it my hair, too short and too straight?
I don't know what I want.
All I know is what I've been told.
But are my thoughts truly my own?
Does that make them mine,
Or are they something instilled?
When Blue Reflects Upon Waves
I’m staring, always staring, forever staring,
No focus in sight, yet a bright future yields token,
Novel, arguably plausible possibilities.
It's not how I look,
Or how I walk.
It's how I react,
When something's gone wrong.
As life goes on,
There will be up's and down's.
I try to survive,
With the least amount of frowns.
Young in age but aged so young
Denied no hymnal yet to be sung.
Against Her good nature, no heed to Her grace
Death stole a lamb with no wool to replace.
Left in the Valley, taken tomorrow
BEEP!
The alarm goes off
You wake up
You get ready
You go to school
You come home
You go to sleep
And the cycle starts over
i speak for those who have lost their courage to speak
for those whos words run to the tip of their tounges just to retreat back to the back of the throats back to where they came from
As I walked on a busy street,
Side by side with random people
Seeing variety of souls when eyes meet
I see joy, love, hatred and trouble
Across the street I see an old lady
You sit in your room
thinking of all possible ways
overdose
Hanging
Shooting
Jumping
They constantly run through your head
You cant decide which one
You go to bed
A structure alone
Of jointed bones
With a thin layer
Of mortal beauty
Fair skin and dark eyes
Fair heart and dark mind
Oh I pray that this
Is all there's to me
She completely tore him apart.Molecule by molecule he started to evaporate,only there was no cycle of reincarnation this time.
To cut, to release
The anger exploding out like a beast
From the pain my family inflicts
Becomes physical abrasions on my wrist
But my wrist alone does not suffer
My left arm now also encounters
Do I know you?
The words you pronounce
are so ugly and dirty,
But you say they fit me just
perfectly.
Do I know you?
No, I do not
but here I am lying on the floor
Dead, rotten flesh falls from my face
Mouth agape, jaw hanging my a thread of skin
Eyes yellowed, and maggots crawl out from every orifice in my body
I hear some then I hear none
With a world filled with hatred, a world or sorrow
Maybe no one would notice if I disappear tomorrow
In the heat of all the chaos, in all the confusion
Within the earth I created fusion
It's been a long year round
our feet still barely on the ground
I've talked you off the cliff
more times than I can count
I've learned some things to say
but I'm still learning every day
The Reason I cry: to cry for all who feel pain
The Reason I laugh: to show my pain
The Reason I sing: to tell a story
The Reason I talk loud: to make my soft and meek voice be heard
You're falling.
You try to grab onto something, but everything escapes from your grasp.
You're bawling.
You don't know how to escape from this life of pain.
Darkness is all there is.
You can say that I'm growing.
I guess you can say that,
but, my feet remain tender
and my legs remain weak.
So built in appearance, so honored in name.
However, I wish I could make my name become sane.
i feel trapped
secluded
like in a closed box
i look around
faces all around me
passing me by
forgetting im here
i yell and scream
but no one stops
Don't try to hold me
For I am broken glass
Don't try to...
Please, I beg you
For everyone who holds me
They will bleed
And bleed
And bleed
'til they're empty
Me, myself, and I
The only people
Who've walked my shoes
And lived my life
They were there
Every step of the way
When I fell, they fell
When I laughed, they laugh
There are three degrees of separation
Mental, physical, and social
The most common of these is physical
Anyone who sees can see
That those who do not touch
Are separated physically
Awkwardly fitting into the other gears
Grinding closely hiding my fears
Tic-Toc, the other gears keep me moving
My time spent is my only doing
Every second spent stranded on a island never to return,
A cold day
But I have to get through it
Can you imagin feeling what im feeling
Do you know what i go through
Even if you think you do , you dont
For right now ill let you think you do
Darkness creeps in from every corner.
Gnawing into your soul.
Fear of the world around you,
For what is a heart
if it is not brave?
What is it for
if not for feeling
the courage
to invite
every stranger
into Its home
To
“This is the way the world endsThis is the way the world endsThis is the way the world endsNot with a bang but a whimper”
T.S. Eliot – Hollow Men
Mind alteration?
Mine’s naturally alternative.
What do you say to the dreamy kite-flyers
When all your life you’ve been high?
A last scoop of dry earth
Falls upon the sad little hill
Pay the good man; he's earned well his fill
“It’s okay, I’m tough” I’m stronger than they know
“It’s okay, I’m tough” I say,
And yet I’m so alone…
I stretch a slender smile wide across my o’erdrawn face
“I had a family once,” muttered the old man through his gruff and straggled beard, in the tone bearing the remnants of a great tragedy that ripped out a piece of him, strewn across the desert and left to dry.
Maybe she liked the pain,
Hell, maybe she loved the pain.
Or maybe she just misses the pain.
Because you see, it's a different kind of pain.
The chaos, the frustrations
It all seeps from your pores like an infection
How can something so positive become negative within an instant?
You crush and demolish
As though you are a dump truck
Everyone eventually leaves this tangible place called earth.
No matter how one feels about themself, they will impact someone.
How do you know if you've impacted a person?
She longs to be different,
Because her greatest fear is that she could be her.
Flesh and blood that created her and brought her to life is the same thing that has haunted her.
How can one destroy such innocence?
If you can't read the photo it goes-
Here I sit in this rut once more,
waiting, longing.
I wish I could stop but it only goes just,
beat, beat, beat.
And the raging thump continues just
Silent tears
concealed by a pathetic façade.
Soundless suffering,
weeping.
A voiceless shrill
cloaked by false smiles.
Muted agony,
raw and searing.
A torturous solitude
Being vivacious is my exact definition
Right?
Of course, It is the veil to my grand facade
As time pass
life begins to
give a whole new start.
As I'm tired something tells
me to keep going.
As the wind blow God
whispers child hold on
As my eyes blink back
I am alone
A single soul
Who's heart is cold
Bound by the thought of everyday madness
Kept awake by the sobs of every night sadness
The tears feel like fire upon my eyes
The days end in long sighs
Do you really have to leave
So soon? Little larks and loons…
Wings beating on a window
But unable to break the glass,
I am the beast
The one you look at and instantly know is freak
I am the beast
The one you say is so weak
I am the beast
The one who aches in the corner trickling tears like the rain falls
For all the love I have to give
No one can learn to live with it
I'm restless, weary and fading
Straining to remain the same
Another date, another day
No love shines in this shade
How is it with so many people around, adoringly screaming on about how much they love you and how you're an amazing person.
SilenceDisruptedThe lap of wavesThe cry of a gullPassing overAlien formsFormless featherless thingsNaught but ripples
She disrupted the silence with a breath,
A breath that accompanied a soft and yet distinguished sigh.
Not of relief, but of sincere loneliness.
In a nearby field, there lives a rose, as wild
a creature as an unbridled stallion,
an old friend of mine.
Alone.
Alone is how I feel when there's no one near, alone is how I hate to be.
And when there's tears coming down and my smile is upside down, I hate that it's just me.
It’s fine.
It’s okay.
I’ll forgive from now until forever,
Until I waste away.
I have no problem with you,
Or whatever it is you feel at this time...
... Even if it is pure hate,
We broke up two months ago
Had a fight haven't talked since
But I swear
I can still feel your kiss
Like it's tattooed on my lips.
This is bad
I feel like I’m slipping.
Back down the dark hole of no return.
I don’t know how many more times I can do this.
And manage to claw my way back up.
Behind every smile there's pain, the hurt of not being pretty and used.
The pain of only being wanted for what's low.
Everyday theres a cut in my soul, then the tears start to roll.
The razor blade held to his wrist shows pain,
mourning, and anything else.
You see, he just wants someone to understand him,
care for him, and love him as their own.
I feel the sunshine kiss my face like an old friend
Like a coffee shop meeting
After a long time apart.
The warmth brushes past my face in faint traces
Of smiles and laughter and past graces
I planted you a rose; sat and watched it bloom
the rose didn't feel me watching,
or notice that I was trying to forget you.
Who do roses grow for?
Surely mine for you,
I told my mom I was depressed
Empty
Alone
She told me it was just
"Teenager Things"
Like it was a normal occurrence to all who progress through these hell years.
I've made one therapist cry
As my spirit seems to wander past every thought I had in mind,
I find that those around me are running out of time.
I am falling through the crevices and holes in their stories.
panic arches in my gut,
deep and visceral pain
and i can't breathe,
can't see,
can't hear
anything
but the relentless beat of a butterfly's wing
against my rib cage
I don't smile often.
The world doesn't know why. I don't smile at you because I don't like you. I don't smile because I am terrified of not receiving one back.
I don't speak often.
-Everyone changes, one way or another
-So, if you're trying to stay the same don't even bother
-Whether it's you appearance, attitude, or religious angle
-Everyone changes, even the Devil was once an Angel
The lonely room swallow the scene.
Time accounts for the dusty surfaces while nursing the strange reality of insanity
that is still fresh in the mind of the sane.
The lonely candle flickers darkly
I am lost in this lonely world
With my troubled past
And I can't escape from these memories
That will forever last
Just when I start to get used to things the way they are, they become unraveled.
Life around me is unraveling, my mind is unraveling.
I cannot seem to find a foot hold in this fragile ground.
So lost, still lookingWhere's the never found?I gaze with fixed eyesThis dark quest has me cemented My heart is dementedMy whole solution is buried Underneath the land of the hopeless
I can't do this anymore
your words are drawing me in,
but you're so far.
I want you to be near me,
on me, in me.
I want to taste you,
feel you, and know you.
I want to lay beside you
LonelinessIt eats at me like aninfectious diseaseIt crawls on my skin and digs into it like bedbugsIt stifles my heart
Nothing I do can make me forget you, Everyday is your smile on my mind and your touch on my cheek, your eyes on mine as if we look away we'll go blind.
People don't listen, they push you down and say you have no voice.
You hide in the shadows, wanting to speak but never knowing how.
You have an opinion, but they say it's not allowed,
I lay alone,
dreaming of the comfort of my bed.
I surely don't know the girl
in the bunk next to me,
or the girl above me.
I wonder why the dark
room that discredits
the light
Today I arose to find you not there beside me.
I don't know what part of me expected your prescence, but
Your absence disappointed me just the same.
I thought you would never leave, but you did. You grew up and moved away, started your own life. You left me here with the pain and the fear. You left, and you stopped calling, you stopped writing, you stopped texting and it hurt.
She found herself in darkness. The cold walls shielded her from the outside world. She locked herself in and was seperatied from the ones who love her. She wanted to cut her skin until she bled out.
thoughts are racing
chasing the ideas of splendor away
not because it's undesired
but because it won't remain
it won't stay contained
exposed like a pose of darkness
a silhouette in the distance
Loneliness settles in
Like the fog on a dark night
Slowly creeping up to devour everything in its path
The light shines down in the morning
And the fog is pushed back,
Close eyes, see your dreams
Close mind, feel our beams
Hover night, why it is so long
One shake, one shiver
The night, will be cold
Inisght, none will be seen
Tickle Tickle Tickle
How badly I want it.
Maybe it’s this time of year
Maybe it’s my own conjuring,
My own extrapolation
My own imagined solitude.
But it’s eating me from the inside out
Devouring its way through my heart
I stand alone.
Darkness is in every corner of the room,
and the only light to reach me comes from a single window.
What would it be like if I was out there?
I wake every day and dress for town,
You may have lost yourself,
But not me.
I'll always have you in my memories.
But now, you have family and friends there for you.
Even though they'll get mad at you from time to time,
But don't care.
You see them on the streets
Inwardly crumpling bit by bit as they watch themselves fade into statistics
If eyes could make tally marks, their skin is a canvas of pale desolation
Pond
Frogs
Chandleer
Diamonds
Secrets
Laughter
Safeness
Friendship
Confusion
Love
Screams
Shouts
Lonely is the life I lead,
Living only to see friends
Taken up by token greed,
Chasing after empty ends.
Somber is the song I sing
With no one left by my side,
And dreams I had thought took wing
i am in titanium cuffs locked by my inner thoughts
im chained to a brick wall with chains crafted by my dark past
i am bundled and gagged with rags weaved from my own fear and doubt
and i have lost control.
When I’m on the white sand shore
in the world of my muse,
I could swear that it is during the death of night
that the world is most alive.
The silence of your voice
speaks volumes of pain.
The butterflies in my stomach
have flown to such great heights.
You are precious china.
Sly grins and stolen kisses, one, two, three.
Roasted chestnut hair falling on bronze skin,
Piercing emerald eyes and a sculpted chin.
A heart swells and bellows to be free.
Dead child walking in living fantasy,
'round she goes like a carousel/
she was nothing
(and nothing was her)
she was engulfed
(in an iron grip)
monday to sunday
twitching and waiting
(for something to snap)
Staring out at the rain
My heart shattered inside
It’s the end of the world
Where I felt alive
My heart is on empty
Hopeless, alone
Lost in a world that had seemed like my own
they teach you in school
if you take so much
away from another
you get none
or a negitive
well which am i
None or Negitive?
Let me be the one you love.
Let eveything that I do make you laugh.
Wrap me in your warm, strong arms.
Remind me that I'm the one you love.
I long to have you kiss me.
To tell me I'm not alone, unloveable.
Hey, there
It's not over yet
And this I can swear
Don't fall into your own net
I will stand by your side
You will not be alone
This is what I decide
And we will go into the unknown
By: Anyssa Q. E.
"Focus, I say" said the brain to the being.
"But how can I focus, If I cannot stop feeling?"
The heart was ashamed, in the shadow of the brain,
sometimes I just don't understandhow the people who see how much love I have to offercan say, "I don't want it,"
and
turn
their
backs
on
me.
People do not seem to understand
That there is a difference between Lonely and Alone
Lonely is striving for people,
To fill this empty void
Hated, lost, rejected, abused;
Angry, hurt, broken, confused.
I wish that i could disappear
And find myself, away from here.
Stomping, slamming, pouting, rude;
Immature, stupid, juvelnile, crude.
There's nothing like that feeling of wanting somebody by your side,
Wanting to feel a touch of comfort by them,
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Theres noone in this world,
Id rather be with than you,
Counting the petals,
I love you, i love you not,
Counting and counting,
Connecting the dots,
I can now comprehend
Why people equate winter to loneliness.
I never used to understand it;
Winter was always my favorite season.
It was my passion.
I loved
-still love-
People that are lonely
You are not the only
There's always one who has it worse
The world is diverse
Loneliness is such a bitter-sweet word
Who else to you know better than yourself?
The more you're alone, the more you know
About what makes you tick.
Yet, what if there's things best unknown?
Staring into the shiny blue
The shiny blue enraptures me
Let it save me
Distract me
From the self-mutilation I impose upon myself
From the nightmares dancing above my head
I have never been so hungry in all my life.
The feel of the web as you start to move.
My heart beats as the vibrations pour down the strings.
So hungry for my dinner to fill my neverending appetite.
Bad with talking,
Not with writing,
Feels like everything flying,
Come to ground in a sudden halt,
With everything that was her fault.
No amount of sorry can change the way,
She has betrayed,
Sitting alone
Feeling alone
Where did everything go?
I don't seem to know
Time moves
Things don't
What else can occur
No smile
No frown
No tears
Don't know how I feel
In solitude and in emptiness
Wretch the loneliness out of me.
Carve out these shallow words.
Hold me,
I am scared of falling
Down to despair and misery.
God, please quiet these conflicting voices inside my head
Is one of them yours? It's getting harder to tell.
I'm trying to filter them out.
My days and nights are blending together
Like how only the sky can feel the lightning, thunder and rain
only i know the feeling of empty loneliness
the true distance between me and happiness
only i can fake the smile
and hide the tears
Do not say goodbye, please hear me out first;
I love you, and know that I’m on your side
You say it’s done and it couldn’t get worse
While you reflect on the tears you have cried.
I breathe better through a blanket
Let it circulate the air I take in
Let it suffocate me if in the end I’m pure
I rub its softness against my cheek
I’m running.
Always running.
I’m running through the forest, and I can’t look back.
I can never look back.
I want to look back, but I can’t.
I left my soul on your floor last night. Battered, and cold. The cracks in the tile cradled my scarlet letter, safely. Your hands strong; sweet.I was certain that this was honest—perhaps naive.
Unrequited Love, you see, that's my life story,
There's times I wish I could go back to when you didn't exist to me.
Nothing's worse than knowing the person you want to be with
is a made up myth.
The bell resonates through the building
They awaken from their cells and saunter into the halls
They gather ‘round their water fountains and dented grey lockers
Dear Mister, Miss, Doctor "So-and-so",
there's a pain in my heart that I can't let go
You see that kid in the back with that sad, shy smile?
Take a walk in his shoes for at least a mile.
You say we can come to you when needed
We need you to listen when you’re called
But you won’t be there when we’re crying
You’re not there for us at all.
The Small, wooden chair sits alone in the corner
So easily consumed by flame.
The Small, stoic boy sat alone in that corner
And maybe his cousin the same.
It's cold; hard winter but there's blazing heat
The passion of young love feels so alive,
Loneliness;
Just a state of mind,
is it not?
Mental ropes that bind,
Prisons that leave you to rot.
No real punishment-
No test.
Save for this blinding pain in your chest.
I can't explain how I feel about him.
He makes my heart beat, my head spin.
But it is impossible to be together.
Because no matter what he can't forget her.
Forever alone, I'll find no love
The thoughts of you, they fill my head
As I lie here in my cold and lonely bed.
When you held me close and whispered forever,
Now I realize your forever meant never.
Why did I let myself fall prey
I seem to hate myself the most when I am alone, I think I have come so far... yet it's my metaphoric brains I wish to blow. There is so much I want to accomplish, but so much more I need to let go.
It's too late to not notice why I'm upI hope you're up too.It's too dark out to see the light outside,I pray I am as blind as you. The text is so far astray from the nature of its home
The glass on my window moves back and forth
The wind makes a pounding noise
Every so often I have to check
To see if someone is out there
There never is anyone
I am always alone
And outside I can hear,
Warmth FallsFeelings FadeWhat you see, You see no moreConsumed in shadows of the pastDesperately wishing to break freeTo change...Just as the others haveFalse hope and Fraud love
I can't believe I fell for such a blackened heart,
you meant everything and I did anything just to be with you,
and I dont do that with anyone!!! but you make me cling on to you unwillingly...
The more I think, the more I wish I, pushed stop then hit rewind.
I wish things would just go back to the way they were,
I was indeed happier and felt your smile next to mine.
Here I am, Just Another
Walking around just like any other
Bounded by the lies I'm told
Growing sad, as I grow old
Here I am, Just Another
Grasping words of big brother
The butterfly that flits about
Bringing joy to everyone
Never stopping
But once gone,
Her absence goes unnoticed
Saturday night:
you were at some party getting drunk
and maybe hooking up –
I was dancing alone on the soccer fields,
high on starlight,
feeling every atom in me spinning with life
Hey you!
Yeah, you!
Loser!
Freak!
Slut!
Geek!
Are you the girl with the long hair,
The long-sleeved shirts and empty stare,
Who cuts herself 'cuz no one cares?
alone and unwanted is all she ever felt
just her and her mom to take on the long nights
the most pain she has ever delt
she sites a father and his daughter surrounded with the glowing lights
Two hundred and thirty-two miles and four hours
The world seems so stretched on these two feet
He was forever
and when I was with him
What is one but an empty shell whom you haven’t taken notice.
As he stands, wavering in his insecurities, you mock him, unknowingly.
How can he but admire from afar, knowing you suppress any interest even on a mutual level?
How can you admit to someone you love themWhen you can barely admit it to youThis love you so adamantly condemnThat won't disappear no matter what you doNo matter what you say no matter what you think
I roam from here to thereremaining discontent.My heart won't call this place a home,It must stay unattached.Everything is so unreal,I know it won't be long.Slowly I will drift away,
An ocean of my blood and tearskilling me with my own fears.I let myself drownin all this misery.You can trybut I won't let you save me.
Why am I always the one to get hurt?Does pain have no compassion?Let the fierceness of the stormCalm downCause the waves keep pushing meAway from life and reality
You would never believe
where i had landed
Far from the world
but still empty handed
does it change a thing at all
i guess i'm not one to make that call
to fall or stand was my only choice
You were once wild and free
You were able to do whatever you want
You were convinced that was who you were to be
Life is huge like typing in big font
You feel free yet all alone
Loneliness
A dark pit of despair
Endless and dark
Twisting spirals of madness
Where despair becomes a physical pain
Unto the heart
A quiet solitude
A certain empty silence
There are times that I miss you deeply.
It comes like a crisp September wind.
Your eyes, they dazzle all over me,
Then I realize it’s all in my head.
Your lips they kiss me tenderly,
Little Scarlet, little Scarlet, where have you been?
Prancing upon my garden, did you spend
the time that you were so generously given?
Little Scarlet, little Scarlet, where have you been?
Prancing upon my garden, did you spend
the time that you were so generously given?
Slut.Whispers within earshotWhore.Pointing in the hallwaysBitch.Glances and snickeringDisgusting, ugly, fat ass, dyke, loner, loser, waste of space.
Everyone leaves,
for what reason I have no clue.
I always think it's because of
something I do.
Maybe I try too hard
or don't try hard enough.
I can be so close or so cold
I’ve ask, and ask, and ask,
Over and over again,
What is my purpose?
Am I supposed to be here?
Why was I born?
And over and over again,
Questions went unanswered
When days transfigure themselves from orange to gray
I remember what there is to be so sad about
the way so many things can change in the matter of minutes
from orange to gray
Then next is a dark blue
The night creeps up
and it stings because
it reminds me of the things
that we used to mutter and sigh,
laugh and cry
to each other.
The daylight shines out our pain,
Oh, but the night,
Loneliness is not a state of mind.
It is a choice.
A way of life,
A feeling.
A feeling that possesses,
A feeling that deceives,
She washes away
I see her wasting away
I try to catch her,
But I know she's gone
It eats away at her body, day by day
I can't help know she feels alone
"WHY!?" I scream
No one answers me
I lay my head down and think of my day
Memories of you are put on display
I try to sleep but my heart is racing
Thoughts of you keep my mind always pacing
I'm dreaming of your arms around my waist
Blue is red
Red is green
My thoughts are mud
Mud is dirt
Save for me
What you have
And I shall save for you
Things I do not even have
Be careful, Be careless
When cold, they slowly spread
Icy, sleepy, dead.
When hot, it all moves so quick
Bright, fiery, slick
They say particles move by heat
Is that not deep?
Do I move because I am deep?
Blood trickled down her skin,
She did it herself,
She’s very proud of her win.
Red stains spread to the floor,
Drip,
Drop,
Drip!
Each new puddle is an exit door.
Insecurity filled the teenager
With agony, pain and woe.
This emptiness will take her
To a place where happiness is low.
Heavyset is how they described her
So she focused on losing weight.
When my Great Grandmother was near death in the hospital
I was curious to see what an old person's butt looks like,
so I kept standing on my tippie toes to catch a see
I can't help but feel that something's offYou avoid meFor reasons that I cannot seeI feel like the third wheelWas what we had before surreal?
Please just let me go homeI can't stay hereNothing satisfiesI can't even eatThe sight of food makes me sickI just really want to leave
I stare at the dark abyss of my bedroomDaydreams flow through my headAnd I wonderA question that has bugged me for years
Why I Hurt
What is this pain in my chest?I'm supposed to be better nowOver it
But I guess I still hurtBecause no matter whatThings will never be the wayThey used to be
In the dark of the night
I face my window with open eyes
I hesitate to bring back happy thoughts
Despite being trapped where the fear lies
My memories bring neither peace nor comfort
Nothing –
Seeing clear as day
In the suffocating black of night
But cringing with confusion
When the sun sheds its light
Knowing there’s an answer
Not caring if it’s found
Gray, rainy day
Though the sun shines outside
Ain’t no thing to study.
Racketous roar ripping through my silence,
Her pale face, rigid as stone
Flattening my smile,
And my fear-widened eyes,
Mr. Forevergingerman
Stares blankly at the page
It’s covered in words
Words
Just rolling and spinning on and off the page
Words everywhere
Everything is words
And nothing is words
I think of you everyday
hoping that you are okay.
Wondering if you think of me,
if you even remember me.
Standing here all alone, thinking alone.
I think of that smile that made me smile,
For better or for worse,
Lovers pass.
In sickness and in health,
Lovers pass.
The seasons seem to change with the people,
Not the other way around.
We’re all just floating along in this mistaken world,
Year one, day one;
This class is not how I expected it
College.
Where are all the cute guys and alcohol.
That's what I saw on TV.
Why am I scared, nervous
I wasn't like this in
high school.
On the outside, that’s where I’m at.In another world is where I’m trapped.
Look on the inside, such happy people,But I’m on the outside.
I am leaving my roots. / Off to the prison I go. / I am leaving my home. / Off to the vast unknown. / I am leaving the love. / Off to where hate will roam. / I am leaving the hugs. / Off to where I'm alone. / I am leaving myself behind.
NumbEmptyAching to be with you
Ripped away from our fateNot given the dateOf when we can be together again
Days pass in a blurAs Nights move like a slugNo relief from this pain
I always heard that college would be fun but at the blink of an eye I see my life come undone. It may only be the first semester but here I am alone, intimidated and scared. So if one more professor misunderstands me I'll scream. And all people se
Grab a hand and stand together
let here a heartfelt welcome
hand by hand race by race
together we stand equal
strong and firm
We are never alone
so be a friend and lend an ear
Her eyes were blue
like the ocean.
The salty waves form
and roll on shore,
her cheek.
The continue to flow
until they drown her.
Her eyes,
the sea,
a door.
Images of pictures and colours and swirls
Infiltrate my dreams
and my heart soars with these images
of pain and of lust
sometimes in a state of panic
and with others I smile
ahead was two paths,
'the path of good and evil' as they say,
but my choice was not that simple,
to live in misery with a soul and be in pain daily,
or to live without a soul and feel no pain,
Sometimes I wonder.
Was it a gradual thing?
Or did she wake up one day
Suddenly suffocated by the ring.
When did she realize?
Their magnetic hands grab at mepulling me into the darkInebriated with emotions.. "NO! Won't stop..won't stop.."A spirit inside me is screaming"Can't lose myself-must keepgoing."
Can I be understood I wonder
I am so awfully unique
The good and bad of it is so plain
My voice makes no thunder
My view is too terribly bleak
My reality too much to blame
On something so horribly cheap
Broken promises left in the open
The stench of nicotine and dried up roses
Clouded vision by the smoke
Don't think, don't think, don't speak
Cold air filling a dried throat
Whispered screams in the sheets
I loathe the four corners of this empty room
She fills them with things:
things from thrift shops and flea markets.
From the molding around the ceiling
to a few inches before the floor
the walls are covered.
I'm lost in this world alone.
I don't know who I am.
Where do i belong?
Do I belong in this world?
Is my past and present leading to a good future?
I really need to find my way!
Was I meant to be here?
I feel the cage
Just beneath my skin
There bending and shifting
Just barely containing
The raging beast
It grows there
"I'm so lonely. I'm Mr. Lonely.
I have nobody..."
these words ring true in my ears
from that shitty song so popular a lifetime ago.
But back then I didn't listen
and couldn't empathize.
I had a friend and
To whom will I go when I have found no one?When will I be of need to those who have everything?If every whole is filled, which hole do I fill?Or am I already found? Am I already of need?
There were times when I hungered for what you had.When I begged for you to see me.when it was not my mouth that cried, but my heart.When my spirit bore into yours, and kept a place there,like a hook in your side. But you, a haughty man.
When I was running away from my family,
I was being forced to not leave my home.
My parents were talking to me in a very bad tone.
My father was furious,
My mom was trying calm him down
They tell you to smile to keep from crying
But what if you're tired of trying?
Trying to hold it in
Trying to fake a win
When you know very well that you've lost
What if you don't know what to do?
When friends are nigh,
Then happiness is felt;
But when ignored,
The heart then does melt.
How sorrow works
To harden a soul!
Loneliness turns
To bitterness whole.
Why do I write?Because it is the thing that lets me be creativeWhy does anyone write poetry?It's a song one can sing without knowing the correct notes
It's 1:41 am
I am still awake
The room is so lonely
I can only shake
Where are your two strong arms
beautiful hands to hold mine
Bring me into the safe, warm
Sitting in an empty room with nothing but me
Enclosed by four walls that stare at me
With no mercy or sympathy they stare
With menacing eyes they stare
I've never been the girl who was alone.
I always had a friend by my side,
walking down the halls in school,
over summer break in the park,
there was always someone who asked me to come.
The bare sand bears only the smell of salt
Upon its desolate skin
Waiting for that high of
Lotionous water
To breathe life to this
Lost inside something
That doesn’t exist,
Huddled in the corner,
Hiding my face.
Broken to pieces,
Glued back together.’
Stolen from my mind,
That piece that’s missing
Once upon a time, there was a girl with a broken heart.
She had no one to talk to, no one who understood.
She turned to pen and paper, writing, writing.
The paper listened, never judged, never argued.
Locked in the Prison Cell
Created for you
I look out and see
You smiling.
Laughing.
I hide in a corner,
Threadbare Blanket
Over my shoulders,
Forgotten by the ones
I call friends.
A girl suffered through many hardships, and she bore it all for a while.
She had many people that came and then left, she took abandonment with a smile.
Her persona changed over time, from heartfelt to harsh fiend.
in crispy cold, the wafer moon flies
there's a loneliness that backhands this repeating demise
all the stars around me seem as pores to the sky
and my pores breathe them in like millions of eyes
Your eyes keep me awake at night
But no one else sees them like I do
You keep wondering why no one notices
The sadness inside
But I do
Don't let the world get you down
You're beautiful
In the world of lies, cruelty, & betrayal,it's difficult for some to open their hearts to others.But at the same time, it's hard to let go,when you know, you really have no other.
Your skin so soft. Your love so hard.
I am forever a student of your teachings.
and until your last breath
I will love you.
and forever after.
Words could never do your beauty justice.
My worst enemy is time
tick, tock, tick, goes the insane thoughts of mine
Repeats of converations and distant elations
WHERE IS MY SAFE PLACE? -nowhere
You can't hide from it, because it follows you.
I remember
The silent, lonely nights
Where I sat, a small child,
With nothing but a book as a friend.
My stuffed toys would smile
and watch me read
I open my eyes and feel the morning sun graze my skin and I smile. "Its a brand new day", I tell myself. Everything is okay...
Naturally I wear my hair jet blac with no perm,Naturally I speak my mind if I see it fit,Naturally I am artistic,Naturally in nature I am me.
The grass is green and the sky is blue
We are young, both me and you
We run for days in full delight
How could we know your dreadful plight?
But together forever
Isnt that how it goes?
I cannot stand it any longer
Should I fight and Should I die
Would I feel at peace or cry?
O' wonderful person before me
I can't help but feel as if you tease me
Now I am gone
My last curtain has been drawn.
Remember when you first showed up?
And were looking at my cup?
I remember.
Remember when we went to school,
I know you cant be here
I know you dont know how i feel
I understand that you cant be here
But no matter what,I know you care
After all my pain and hate I finally realized it's not too late
Every day is a struggle
When you have no one to lean on
All of my problems and pain began
weigh so heavy, when will it end.
I'm giving my all
Day in and day out
Crying out to you
There's never a tomorrow until we choose to fall asleepif we seal the fate with this knife then the death will peakthe blood spills with every second wastedsitting here crying why hath death hasted
Appearing in the reflection of lights,
Mystical and quiet, with sea deep eyes,
Her form changing day and night,
The creature I see who brings me fright.
I walk alone in love,
For what could love offer me?
It gives me not the breath I take,
Nor the food I eat,
Nor the sleep I rarely receive.
Nay. Love steals breath.
Steals ambition.
Not many people have experienced true loneliness
It comes with the feeling of hopelessness
And makes you feel completely empty inside
It will make you want to curl up in a corner
Voices of my friends
I hear it.
Voices of my own
I fear it.
I'm living my life on an unbalanced ladder
hoping that I will be a somebody.
A tongue is sharp and can kill,
What long walk shall I take home to stretch my weary heart?The rut I’ve made grows deeper until I can walk it no more.Broken paths are evidences of broken menand I hang my head, unable to see.
I know why the caged bird sings
To be let free to flap her wings
But she knows one day this will be
Sadness drowning me into the depths of the ocean as the sun glistens above me. The white clouds peacefully floating in the air while the Blue Jays dance with them. Now I grasp pain and misery. If I could learn to fly I would never return here.
You can't talk back to me
I don't talk back to you
But the words you speak to me
I listen through and through
I can't look into a person's eyes
I studder when I speak
But the words you speak to me
Oh how my lovely weathered memories are scattered across the floor. How they come rushing through as I sit and ponder. What will the winds of time bring past my door?
When the sky looks haunted and the night reeks of death
Where can one turn?
Sleepless nights and restless days of doing nothing
But feeding my endless craves
Never satiated
The outside world is exciting
Frightening even
The sky and sun seem so inviting
Birds chirp happily
When the darkness closes in
The stars become luminous
It is at these times I return
There is a stranger looking at her in the mirror.
She stares back, dark, wet hair.
Her face- a mask of nothingness- but her eyes, filled with the deepest, contained sadness.
Face, red and stained black with mascara.
The Pain Inside me breaks my soul in piecesMy parents are fighting everydayMy lover left me for deadAnd there's no one who even cares So They Don't really know what they are talking aboutI find different ways to ease the pain that's inside meBut t
What exactly did I do
in a former life
For you to beat me black and blue
and cause me so much strife
Did I kill or harm or steal
could I have betrayed a friend
Now all I see and all I feel
Is it just me
or can you not see
Just how lonely
life can be
When you're afraid
and they've never stayed
And so sanity
is becoming frayed
As I lie awake and contemplate
All of the things I've come to hate
I realize that I've grown tired
Of being bogged down and becoming mired
In all of the conflict and all of the anger
Victimized yet again.
You'd think you'd get used to it by now.
You think
"Hey, it's happened before;
what's different about now?"
But every incident has its impact.
Every touch;
every rub.
A loud voice can do many things. It can free a caterpillar.
My words stayed small for so long and no longer will they hunger for excape.
I fought through the jungle of my mind and freed my thoughts from it's captors.
Her beauty doth shine as ‘twould make the sun
Itself seem as though ‘twere but a mere coal.
A match for her, there is never a one,
They say that love cant exist without hate, but i dont find that to be true
The hatred is strong
Strong enough to stop the love from entering my heart
You said you loved me
You said you'll die for me
From out that doorway I detect
the smell of home,
or rather, that-which-would-be-home,
if I had made it my home.
In the shadows
You stand and walk,
Every day
The shadows lessen,
But I can’t help the envy
For you are not alone,
And I am
A cave sits in front of your door,
You pass by it every day, not knowing
Refusing to know
Too busy to know
The cave is empty,
Air sweeps through
No dust to swirl around
Just empty,
People here, people there.
People people everywhere.
People talking nonstop now,
Leaving me out in the crowd.
People that are afraid to speak
They're like me and feel so weak.
Never get lost in the maze of making others happy,
you may lose your own happiness in the process.
No need to look, search, or wander,
simply glance in the mirror, and look within yourself.
She’s broken.
Broken into so many pieces from everything she has ever been through.
Her heart cries out for a helping hand, but the tears just continue to flow like a waterfall.
She’s terrified.
How is perfection defined,
with collarbones?
or a gap between my thighs?
Perfection is all we see.
because images of beauty
reflect our insecurities.
Perfection is in my reach,
Staring, frozen in the mirror
A tired girl looks back at me--
There is strength about her figure
But her eyes no longer see.
She has talent, drive, and fire,
She has been around the world,
I see the Eleanor Rigbys and Gilbert Grapes everywhere I go,
The people who forgot long ago to
See beauty in people laughing, sunflowers shooting up
Out of the ground.
There are people who have never heard a canary
as you look upon the water
reflections shining bright
bringing to your memory
thoughts from that dark night
the tears erode my heart
as the colorodo carved a canyon
my life it fell apart
when you died myself my faith abandoned
sometimes when no-one else is around
in the dark i start to cry
then you can hear the saddest sound
of a tear about to die
Anger. Hatred. Jealousy. Tears. Happiness. Joy. Glee.
For all the emotions the world throws at me, I write.
I write when I sit in a class that's getting too hard.
Sometimes people lose themselves-
in themselves.
Swimming through blockaded passageways
of unchanneled thought and emotion,
searching for a discord.
Winter comes.
The wind howls and the ravens stick around.
Perhaps for one more day,
To scrounge around.
They search forevermore,
or perhaps forever born to be alone.
Why do I write?
Someone may ask,
See me I write,
Cause there's no one that can understand,
I hope you never have to feel
Just as lonely as I have
And I want you to know
We all have those feelings
Often, in unmemorable moments
when life is nearly normal,
I glimpse your features
in the face of a stranger;
hear echos of songs
we sang together;
smell your familiar fragrance
Hard is it for the eyes to perceive true love from fallacy
For there are so many waves that make up an entire sea.
To what in my heart longs of eternal lust
Is silenced by your cold words that turn it to mere dust.
To be, or not to be,
That is the true question.
Whether it is or was nobler to express yourself,
Without having to be judged by others on if you're "normal or not"
To be what I want to be is hard.
To be what they want me to be is harder.
To follow behind others and never be myself,
thats somthing I have done for years.
But I refuse to do that anymore.
There was a man.
Who lived in a home on top a hill
He lived alone
He watched the birds come by his house
He watched kids playing outside his home
He wondered what it was like, to chase after that ball
When darkness has crept over blue heavens
And your name has swept like Rumor through my mind,
No song, no sight can ease anger's weapons
And no hope of this storm's end can I find,
Sadness lurks on the street like an ancient greyhound—forlorn, lonely,
With a heavy satchel strapped on his back, slowly limping on the road
To nowhere. The rest of the known world has deserted him—left
No one knows you,
So you introduce yourself.
Hi my name is-
And it goes okay.
No one knows you yet.
But then
You slip.
The ice creeps in
Being someone’s option is never a good feeling
Hoping and praying to be someone’s one and only
Just to be told that you were just a choice that wasn’t chosen
It doesn’t feel too good
Who's there?
Listening to me?
No one
Who's there?
Calling my name?
No one
Who's there?
Waiting for me?
No one
Who's there?
Standing by my side?
No one
Who's there?
I saw the world for what it truly is when i closed my eyes.
She figured out her worth when she closed her thighs
He truly saw himself when he left the guys
We are all robots in disguise living lies
I sit outside
in the night alone.
Looking to the sky
for the lights that shine.
Resting here my mind wonders
from place to place.
I try to make sense
of how I became so impaired.
Loneliness is a silent killer.
It lingers in the darkness,
Amidst shadows of remorse.
Under feelings of joy,
Behind eyes of sorrow.
Between fingers upon wrist,
Spilling through steel and flesh.
Oh Trampoline,
those times I spent
laying in the center of it
at my happiest
with a hard back book
on my chest
What is this I'm doing?
Falling from a building?
Left and right building move swiftly around me...
Below the hard surface 3....2....1...
Close my eyes hope to die...
Splat...or so I would have thought...
One single bus
A lone driver
Empty bus stop
Moon shines brightly
Footfalls clicking
Worn-out lady
Eyelids drooping
Yawn coming on
Bag drags along
He was lonely, sad, and depressed
Yet still looked lovely
Everything he did was accomplished so gracefully
He was an outsider that everyone noticed
Many thought he was weird
No one knows how I feel
No one knows what I want
They laugh and laugh
As if they don't care
Standing absolutely still,
big, and tall in their dull surroundings
they wait patiently
for their next victim
I met a man and his name was Mr. Lonely
How did I know? Because he told me
He kept asking me to make it stop
I asked him what he meant, but he said he couldn't tell me
These hands delve into the ground to remake what I once found
When I was better and my conscience was light as a feather
I made this as empty as I feel, but now I'm not alone
I am a weight eroding those
Squalls send seagulls flapping away,
billowing Nimbus bides his war
‘til darkness. Throaty caws
from the sinews of a power line
mark the claps of his raucous call.
Phoenix flies from the depths
When the world around you closes in, go find the Whipperen.
When everything seems difficult, search for the one you must consult.
When life is hard and course as gravel, go down the road through which few travel.
On the other side of sometimes, I wait with baited breath
On the other side of sometimes, I keep away from death
The universe is expanding, everything moves away from Earth at an increasing rate.
Earth is becoming more isolated, lonelier.
There are 7 billion people on Earth, 361 million on the web.
We are more connected than ever.
He said they’d last forever
And yet he decides to leave her
The pain, it began to devour
Her soul leaving her weaker
This is my town.
Our town where she ran me ragged.
She was always running.
Running around in circles in two bit town.
Never getting anywhere.
Because the end felt a lot like the beginning.
Drip
Drop
Will it ever stop?
The hurt
The pain
Blood dried on my shirt
And still nothing to gain
Why does the pain still persist?
My happiness is so greatly missed.
Inside I am screaming
I'm the shadow in a rainbow
I'm the anger in a smile
I'm a raincloud on a sunny day
The tenth number in a dial
Some tears say I’m sorry
Some beg please look at me.
Some tears ask just hold me.
Some tears say leave me please.
Some tears say help me… when I feel alone.
My love is not dying but getting stronger.
Waiting for you takes longer and longer
No matter how many days go by,
I think of you while looking at the open sky.
The persistent cold beneath blankets and quilts
that chills to the bone despite layers of clothes—
The cup of coffee forgotten, left to cool on the counter.
That lonely black house on top of that hill
Away from the white houses…
It separates from the world…
That white room inside that black house
All the way deep end of the hall…
Above the raindrops of the shower head
my thought scream loudly
and my heart wails in silence.
Shock and sadness hit me
stronger than a title wave
with the awareness: I have always felt alone.
She wakes up alone--
Except for a cat by her side.
And she is happy
She eats breakfast alone--
Except for a cat by her side.
And she is happy.
She sits there cutting herself
A red river pouring out
She can’t stop now
All she's ever known is the cold hard pain of being alone
With no one to turn to, nowhere to go, the pain starts to-
get to her
I'm driving on a lonely road
When the time is no closer to sunrise than the last sunset.
My headlights are overshadowed by the darkness surrounding it,
And I'm tired--
Tired of feeling no feelings,
I am left staring at your ghost of a smile,
Until your lips find mine
And take me away
To another thought,
To no thought.
Only a hunger for more
Of you, of me,
For both of us together.
Innocence wilts,
tulips in a graveyard.
No hope left
to flutter slowly by.
Rays of sun can no longer
bring her back to life.
Why lie when I can see it through your eyes?
You just make it worse,
But what can you say,
that's just life's course.
What your going through,
isn't so good, relying on sorrow isn't so well.
The storm in the distance begins to stir,
And here I stand with the ice beneath my feet.
The gusting wind is cold, harsh, and bitter,
The snowdrifts are building around the lake,
"Maybe today will be different," I think
"Maybe things will change," I hope
"Maybe something good will happen," I pray
"Maybe today is the day it will all turn around."
Convincing is hard to do
I thought of you - again - today.
Your song and music to which I would sway
Playing softly from this machine of mine.
I wonder if you will ever grow some spine.
I felt myself
drifting
flying
soaring
All eyes on me,
my mask adhered,
my smile plastered,
on plastic face.
What’s this feeling?
The wistful wind blows
It reminds me of peace
Never ending ongoing tranquility
Things that are hard to achieve
In this society which never sleeps
Insomniatic me.
Sitting alone, watching tv.
Man, I just want some sleep
My pillow is calling to me.
Hiding from certainty.
Making my own reality.
As sleep eludes me.
Mania grips vibrantly.
You are hundred miles away
In a place you don’t want to stay.
You left your hometown to make your parents proud
And now you just feel lost, like you can’t be found.
When we met you said you were dangerous,
A word like licking knife blades, razor sharp;
Dancing in silk slippers on an icy-slick roof-edge.
You said it to sound dark and brooding,
A walk on the wrong side of the tracks.
I am the moon
When the light fades
And the world turns a blind eye,
I become alive.
I show myself to only the darkness,
Ane become
The soul of the night.
The stars puncture the darkness
It'd be difficult to see the emptiness within an exterior of sunshine.
A never ending battle between the person I am and the person they want me to be.
The loneliness I feel even in the most crowded places.
On a couple of occasions I’ll imagine him as a proud Greek hero,
Only a mere eighteen years of age,
Who has been sent down from the thunderous white clouds of the heavens
To fight the nasty creatures that lurk the earth
Stay here as you walk through life;
I will hold your hand when you are far.
Here, I am there with you in the dark.
Fear not the happiness of yesteryear;
They will return to you in the distant.
Freedom is bondage when spent alone
Being held captive in the cold
In my cold heart
Loneliness is the chain that holds me
I have no idea why I feel so lonely
But I just sit here with a smile
She's whispering to herself, words over and over again.
It's okay, I'm okay, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.
In her head she's going absolutely crazy,
her world is spinning away quickly as her thoughts eat her
away.
Why must I feel so lonely sometimes?
Must I?
No one to really talk to, but only God
Stuck thinking that some things are better left off,
Not said
It burns in the back of my mind,
day and night the burning goes,
bursting to be untethered,
lust, fear, sorrow and pride,
its all here,
in the back of my mind,
but if I were to unleash these inner demons,
