Broken Cups

How, why, what, is this real, for real.
This wasnt apart of the deal.
For you I would rob, steal, even kill at will.
I want to get off this ride, going in circles like a ferris wheel.
Trying to hold it in the road, Jesus please take the wheel.

But here I sit, watching, waiting for what's next to come.
Staying confirms that I must be either dumb or numb.
Too much pain inflicted to heal from.
With this history, how can you not be the one.

Moving forward sounds so easy.
I'm looking toward a better me.
Not necessarily a better we.
I have to do what's best for me.
But my vision is jaded with distractions and cloudy.
I'm having trouble seeing what's clearly right in front of me.

I'm drawn to what hurts me most.
Taking the same road destination lost.
So expensive, losing all that's prayed for, yet I happily pay the cost.
Being ruled by my fears, Im no longer the boss.

One moment I can picture us being us.
Then I remember the trust lacked between us.
When is enough, enough of us.
When is enough too much.
I cant envision living without your love or your touch.
I need to stand on my own, let go of this codependent crutch.

Stuck in limbo, dont know which way is up.
When is it okay to just give up.
Shit went too far this time, we really f*cked up.
How do we prosper, drinking out of 2 broken cups?

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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