One Day.

One day.
It's coming.
One day, all of the pain will go away.
One day, all of the unforgettable moments will simply turn to memories. Thought they were unforgettable? That'll change..one day.
One day..maybe it's a good thing, but then again maybe it's a bad thing.
Maybe one day, my problems will go away. I won't have all of these horrible & insecure thoughts in my head.
But when that one day comes, what else will it take away?
Life lets me take a step forward but then two steps back.
When can I start taking two steps forward and one step back?
No, it's not perfect but gotta start somewhere..right?
I'm positive that when that one day comes for you, it'll bring you happiness. Something you need. Something you definitely deserve.
But when that one day comes for me, I feel like it'll bring pain.
I'm also thinking about that one day of when you'll get sick and tired of me. Just like everyone else. That one day where you're tired of me pushing you away and you just get up and leave. I have way too many problems to be put into a relationship or a friendship but I have both. And both make me incredibly happy. But I always have to doubt myself in whether I make them happy. Course they say I do but..come on. Really?
Relationships and friendships.
Possibly two of the happiest things in my life.
And all I can think about is when that one day will come.
That is why I feel like I should be alone.
Alone feeling pain and unhappiness.
I don't look for people to feel pity upon me. If anything, those are the people I push away.
If these things don't go away, then maybe I'm just meant to be alone. Loving y'all so much that giving y'all happiness without me is the first thing I'd do. Because I can't see how this is the joy of life.

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