Driven

Location

38012
United States
35° 36' 26.7624" N, 89° 17' 5.01" W

I'm driving on a lonely road
When the time is no closer to sunrise than the last sunset.
My headlights are overshadowed by the darkness surrounding it,
And I'm tired--
Tired of feeling no feelings,
Tired of being numb,
Tired of everything going wrong.
A flicker of light emerges in the distance.
It's taunting me, getting bigger and brighter every passing moment.
Someone else has decided to venture on to this desolate concrete strip.
But do they feel what I feel?
Are they just as lonely as I am?
Are they in an empty car,
And are they driving to an empty home?
A thought crosses, the one that sits with you when you're at your lowest.
Could this be my way out?
The light is brighter now--absolute in my eyes.
This is my chance.
My heart begin pounding like the engine.
Sweat beads on my forehead.
My painstaking journey can now find its end.
The yellow lines beside me come closer,
My breathing hitches,
My eyes focus on the approaching painkiller,
And my steering wheel finds itself veering toward no man's land.
My inner weeping finds its escape,
I'm ready.
The light ahead separates in to two,
I can do this.
My car rides the outer edge of the yellow line,
The pain can stop.
An outline appears,
No more loneliness.
The black car is visible,
I'm ready to die.
This is it.
My breathing slows,
Time slows.
The lights directly find my eyes.
My vision blurs.
My reflexes take over.
The car is so close ahead,
Then it is passing by me.
I catch a glimpse,
And just like that, it's gone--
My opportunity.
I breathe,
Continuing to stare in to the darkness,
The road remains empty.
The car remains empty.
I remain empty.
Fear has once again taken over.
My heart clinches;
It always plays dirty,
Always finds a way to win.
That chance has come and gone,
But I am still driving,
The pain is still here,
And the thought still lingers.

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