When people try to get close to me, I shy away
When people try to get to know me, I lie
‘Put on your mask’, I think.
“Show me your real self. Who you really are. Stop pushing people away.”
I can’t help it
I can breathe
I can live
Life becomes bearable
Who am I?
Who is the girl you try to force me to become?
“Be a doll” I thought
“Just be a doll. No one will want you anyway, so be a doll.”
Over and over, my lifeline, my melody.
I sang my song again and again
Out of tune
Out of focus
Again and again
“If you forget you’re a doll, they’ll cut your strings.”
“Don’t dream of impossibilities”
“Just wear your mask, straighten your back”
“And dance to the tune they play you.”
I am a doll
I am a human
I am nothing
These two thoughts conflict inside me as I swing to the invisible tune
Threads controlling my every move
I have no say.
In a moment I could be carried away and thrown off stage.
Branded as useless
Waste of space
My inner emotions are stronger than the ones I portray
How much longer can I stay in character?
You must be a doll