Frostbite

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“Dear ex girlfriend

I know we broke up a little while ago

But sometimes, on days like these, 

I still find myself picturing your face when I see or hear anything relating to the word ‘Happy’”

 

He couldn’t begin to count how many couples he’d seen that day

Each one of them attached by laced fingers or locked lips

They all looked happy

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

I accidentally called another girl by your name

It was weird so I quickly changed the subject before she could ask me questions”

 

He was confused

He was sure he was over the breakup

So why did he still find himself missing her?
Missing her smile

Her laugh

Her hugs

Her kisses

And overall, just having her by his side

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

I saw you laughing at another guy’s joke the other day

Not going to say I got jealous…

But it kind of hurt to see another guy make you smile the way I used to”

 

Maybe he was just being overly dramatic

But that didn’t stop the shadows from creeping up behind him

That didn’t stop the voices from speaking to him

That didn’t stop his body from quivering

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

That guy wrapped his arm around you today

I’m not sure if you guys are dating but I don’t want to ask

It’s better if I didn’t know…”

 

He let Loneliness do her work

“Relax,” she said

“Calm down. I’ll take care of you,” she said

He took a deep breath of her cold air and eased into his chair

Slowly, she worked her way throughout his body

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

I’m fine.

No, no… Nothing’s wrong

I just LOOK sad

I’m fine. Really”

 

She broke his smile and left a blue, crooked frown

She swiped the light in his eyes and replaced it with a cold, dull glare

His once well-kept hair had grown out of control

It didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

I’m not the one ignoring you…

You’re the one ignoring me

You’re the one hanging with the new guy

You kicked me to the curb and left me like this”
 

His mind had deteriorated to that of a lovesick beast

But rather than fight the feeling, he froze

At least SHE was giving him attention

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

I’m not crazy

No, I’m not being a child about this

I just really liked you okay?
This is my punishment for having a heart”

 

Loneliness slithered her way into his chest

She corroded his heart with deceptive lies

Replaced his blood with icy poison

And switched oxygen with smoked silence

 

“Dear ex girlfriend

It’s clear that I’ll never get to relive those great memories again

I guess it’s time I moved on. For good

I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble”

 

He slumped out of his chair and crashed into the floor

Behind the laughter of his walls he could hear his soul shatter like glass

But nevertheless, Loneliness had done her work

He didn’t feel the need to cry

Just stay idle, broken, and awake

 

“Always stay awake and remember that you are alone,” she said

“Even when you’re surrounded by ‘loved ones’ you cannon be loved,” she said

“Your happiness was and shall forever be temporary,” she said

 

“Dear new girl

I’m sorry about the dark rings surrounding my eyes

I don’t get much sleep nowadays

I apologize if I zone out or seem uninterested

I just have a lot on my mind

Forgive me if I seem upset with you

I promise I’m not

I’m just having a hard time accepting the frigid truth…”

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