This screen is a window to a world

of friends getting together,

of people finding love,

of people achieving success,

with little to no effort.

 

I look at all the people presented to me

either randomized or by choice

and they are happy, fulfilled, excited, and secure

absent of fear, guilt, remorse.

absent of humanity.

 

Surrounding the screen,

Is a messy apartment

Wrinkled clothes and mugs filled with on average a centimeter of coffee.

In front of another screen that reveals more people

telling me how to travel light

which movies I should see

what happened on the hill today

and why I’m miserable.

 

These two screens

are the most vibrant in my apartment

filled with distinctive colors, shapes, vistas, the world

An actual window

faces a fence.

 

These are reminders:

of what I do not have

of what I am not a part of

of how I have been left behind

weddings

birth of a new child

new journeys

and my static life.

 

But I am not static.

 

I am a do’er

I live for the journey

I live for change

and to know more about the world

 

I can do that right now

I can go somewhere alone

and nobody can stop me.

I can each sit in a coffee shop

for hours on end,

and be anonymous to everyone

and do what I want,

because I am free.

 

Yes, I am missing out on our expected life rituals,

but I am free.