I sit outside
in the night alone.
Looking to the sky
for the lights that shine.

Resting here my mind wonders
from place to place.
I try to make sense
of how I became so impaired.

After sitting for a while
it all starts to blur together.
The blur is caused by tears
I didn’t realize I was shedding.

Releasing all my thoughts
into an angry blur.

Each droplet is
the loneliness I feel.
They are the fear of life
not turning out how I plan.

The stars swirl as
I let my feelings go;
wondering if this is
what Von Gough felt.

I look to the little sparkles
for some comfort and hope.

Once I finally stop
I continue to stare.
I tell myself
everything will be okay.

The stars hold
my secrets and my pain.
The heavens are my
diary and security blanket.

I can let go
without feeling ashamed,
only if I am alone
under a starry night sky.