When the sky looks haunted and the night reeks of death
Where can one turn?
Sleepless nights and restless days of doing nothing
But feeding my endless craves
I am trapped by this world of selfish greed
This path of going no where.
Freedom is nonexistent
When you’re bound by a constant
Nagging desire to break free
Yet knowing not where the reign of terror ends.
Who’s to say your enemies aren’t posing as friends
The rubber band of temperament slowly bends.
Waiting to snap.
But nothing is resolved.
My mind is driven by an endless array of thoughts
The new fads of pop culture: smoking til your brain is numb
Drinking til you can’t feel your thumbs
Using people as if they a ragged pair of shoes.
Thinking you got nothing to lose.
But living for yourself has no benefit in the end.
It’s made clear through the media
The endless celebrities who seemingly have everything.
Yet they are the ones who take their life.
Whether a stabbing to the atria or a bullet in the head,
They choose death, thinking that will end their strife.
My mind is blown
If they are not happy with their riches and endless parties
Then why is that lifestyle all I see echoing through the TV
And the gossip filled magazines
And the walking scenes in front of my very eyes
Riches are posed as greatness
This fallacy is a big fat lie.
So how can I trust anything?
Let alone anyone?
My own mother abandoned me in my greatest time of need
How am I supposed to trust this so called “Father”
That the preacher speaks about on a daily.
I’m scared to take that leap of faith,
Because I am undeserving.
My heart is too filled with hate
I fear my fate
Because I know the path I am on is one of self-destruction.
All I feel is the suction of the Devil and I try to resist
But I can’t fight alone.
I realize that I need grace.
I know that I need salvation
But how can I earn it?
How can I become deserving?
When I am nothing more than
A broken child
Walking through the valley of the shadow death
Desperate and Yearning