Behindthecurtain
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Surrounded by laughs and smiles While I just listenOnly my ears are openSealed lips shut Words can’t be spoken
They say, "keep your friends close
But your enemies closer."
I ask, then, how do you know?
Who is your friend
And who is your foe?
One moment it's sunshine
And happiness and laughter.
My name is Brandon and I am a runner.
I run, I work, I learn.
I am always moving, even while asleep, and love to be outdoors.
I love learning and growing and always knowing.
washington d.c. is a monument city looking pretty a city with white monuments every where throughout the whole city, monuments for you to see, which show the american history in our life monuments that don't cause any strife.
If there's one phrase that's hard to say,
If there's something we don't want to think about each passing day
If there's something that would make some of us want to cry,
I begin to sign...
~~~
When we were younger,
All we wanted to do was play.
But then we grew.
And we wanted--
To Fit--
Under my shirt is my skin
Under my skin is my heart
And in that deep frozen heart
You can see the tears and talks
About that father I always wanted there for me
Underneath all that pain and sorrow
You are not alone
Sleepy eyes
Purple crescents burn bright under them
Boney knees
Baggy pants conceal lack of nutrition
A broken heart, longing to stop beating
It screams in agony
Rain bites
Wind blows
I fight
For a future
A better me
I do it without thee
Water runs
Rockets rise
I have seen many suns
And many moons
Rise and fall
Trying to invent myself.
I'll juggle it all and make all the right choices.
I'm overwhelmed.
Like a cloud stretching to cover the entire Earth.
It reminds me that I am small.
She doesnt know she poor, Even when life tells her in many ways Her refrigerator becomes empty. Whenever she is hungry she can't even find a whole meal. Her family barley has enough food to last them until they can get more.
Isn't she lovely?
The way her hips move side to side.
isnt she lovely?
The way her clothes hug her skin tight.
isnt she lovely?
The way her makeup is bold and bright.
isnt she lovely?
Water running down my face, as today i decide my fate
going or stayin wouldn't even matter
Would it?
The curtains open.
The audience is silent.
My heart aches.
But the show must go on.
Fake a smile.
To hide my sadden frown.
Fake a laugh.
To conceal the tears I'm actually choking on.
...
Sadness does not come in the form of rainstorms
Here to kiss away the tears off of one's face
It is not the color of the blackest night
A permanent reminder runs crooked down his chest
a seam, a scar, still raw, deep, and red
he is in debt to a strangers hand, loses rest
for fear of failing his second chance
She knocks on my door and asks me to come out. “No,” I answer, but it’s not my voice talking, it’s his. Raising my 6 year old niece has not been easy, given I’m also raising a young man. His name is Depression.
I was the girl that grew up in hard brick matter.
At 3 years old my pearls were stolen then shattered.
Beaten,broken and tossed to floor.
And all I could can do is plead "PLEASE NO MORE!!!"
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
Love was all she longed for,
all she needed.
She didn't believe in it
because she had never seen it.
And what she thought,
that it couldn't be real.
She didn't show or reveal
I am Flawless because i write,
I am me because of my height,
I praise the Lord each and everyday,
Even though somethings don't always go my way,
I still give him praise for all that he does,
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
How precious seconds pass by me with haste.
I grip its tail in hopes that it will stay.
A force that acts poetically with space.
"Leave me slowly. Keep me here." I pray.
My heart is heavy today, I sighed
Depression is attacking my heart, my soul, my mind.
I try so hard not to care,
But all I feel is bottomless despair.
Sadness is dark like a dark winter's night
Sadness taste like salty tears falling down your face
Sadness smells like dead rose
Sadness looks like glass being broken
Sadness sounds like your last breath
No rhythm
No rhyme
Just me
And myself
Dark hands
Bright face
WIth a dim glow in the eyes
Worn out
By the challenge
Of living each day with a smile
Inside
the girl they see
quiet,
shy,
sweet,
strong,
the girl I am.
loud,
outgoing,
smart,
deep,
I am both girls unfiltered.
and im completely happy,
I want to get NAKED
Its easy to take off your clothes and have sex; people do it all the time,
but opening up your soul to someone,
Letting them into your spirit,
thoughts,
fears,
future,
hopes,
Without a filter I'm just a kid,
Without a father and a mother in prison,
I've seen some things that you'll never see,
Things that make small children scream,
But what you can never see,
Where do we go when we are lost?
Where can we find ourselves and what’s the cost?
I’m searching of the girl I once was.
Looking and looking, where can she be?
I see a girl, is it me?
Its a feeling not a knowing.
Curiosity and randomness lead me to you.
I feel so blue.
We are so clueless.
Where to begin and where to end.
Don't worry I've swept away so many times might as well live in the bristles of a broom,
So, this is what it feels like when all the walls start to fall.
As the towers fall and replace the the free space beneath them,
I will think of nothing
I brought this upon myself.
Smile.
We hear the words to often.
Smile.
Maybe I don’t want to.
Smile.
Are we taking a picture?
Smile.
I don’t know that I can.
Smile.
Stop telling me to.
Smile.
As tears streamed down her face,
She realized how alone and empty she felt.
She was so isolated and abandoned.
It hurt her so much within her chest.
A half baked smile on her face.
She lost sight of herself.
Wishing upon peace,
hoping no one sees me,
Taking a deep breath,
hoping no one hears me,
Walking through school campus vastly,
having fear of being stopped,
Smiling, but speaking no words,
There is an end to everything, aye, to what we all hold dear.
Time will pass, maybe goals fulfilled - and still this loss we fear.
It takes away all inhibitions...purpose; and it leaves you all alone
Once Upon A Time...
I'm no princess but I've got
beautiful eyes
No, doctor that's not the problem
You don't understand
I'm putting guns to my head like I don't own my hands
I'm laughing so loud in a room with my friends but
as soon as I'm home I feel slightly deranged
Looking at my face
You'd never know
In my life
A war grows
On the outside
I`m filled with life
On the inside
I`m dying
Not from sorrow
Not from strife
Literally I fight
You saw me as your porcelain doll
your darling girl
Your perfection
but There was an immaculate exception
you thought i was your faithful pet
the dog who'd
"she'd be back"
People have been insulting people forever, and I must say "Stop!"
If you don't stop today, then I will call a cop.
I want the number of racial slurs to decrease,
because, my friend of mine, we need some peace.
Every aspect of my life has
Always been a splintered crack
between myself and who I wanted to portray.
It wasn't my fault.
I just wasn't good enough.
I was not satisfied with who I was,
I have two faces but I only show one
No one knows my true face, none
All you can see is my mask
Nobody even cares to ask
Who cares?
My real face shows my trepidation
We are the generation of a new millennium.Be proud?Our title could’ve been better, it sounds pretty corny,I looked online, no one seems to think thatWe’re going to be the ones that save the world
When I had no place to go, your door was closed.
And when I knocked, I heard it lock.
So I let the rain cover me, and as it flows with my tears,
I know that I will soon have to face the mirrors.
Fidgeting, sweating palms, racing heart-
Please relax I say; my insecurities can rip me apart.
I'm so scared, on the fringe of fright.
This disorder makes me believe that I'm not at all bright.
I smile,
I giggle,
I say the things I’m expected to say.
Never cry,
Never yell,
My face permanently plastered with a grin.
My positivity can be suffocating,
I dance to the rhythm of their hearts
I speak their tongue for they can understand the words that flow out
I bite my tongue so they don’t hear my inner thoughts
I was handed a mask at a very young age.
Society offered, and like the rest I took the bait.
I drift the sea of those who offer you none.But when i witness you being giftedmy heart soars.
I don't know what I want.
All I know is what I've been told.
But are my thoughts truly my own?
Does that make them mine,
Or are they something instilled?
i've been staring at
a cold screen, a blank
sheet, an empty bed,
and a split mind.
torn down the middle--
i've been . . .
ripped--through--my center
“Conceal
Don’t feel
Don’t let it show
Don’t let them know”
Quoted from the movie “Frozen”
And none sadder but truer words have never been spoken
See we all hide behinds our curtains and masks of sorts
This facade of mine
Where I draw the line
Of interactions past my kind
It keeps me safe
From gasps and gapes
Truly, a gaurd with a shield
The love within
Drives me out on whims
Juniper eyesKalediscopesCold.Bitter.Resting faceSeperated mind from bodyagaintyping rants of equality outcry"Bitch"Like bee-sting.Hurts for a second, Stays throbbing
I wake up to darkness
and trip my way to the bathroom
click
the light illuminates the reflection
of a stranger
I have worn my mask so well it has become who I am
Good morning!
How are you?
Fine.
What'll it be today? A coffee? A latte?
Hot? Iced? With sugar? Of course
Will you be using your card?
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
No one sees me because I'm scared. There is hardly anything more pleasant than being like those joyfull people. This isn't me, I want to do without restraint. Its been so long since that has happened. I do it for others since they did it for me.
I am bruised.
Let me shed my tears.
My life has been fused.
I wan to give.
No im just confused.
I want you to see my fears.
Im scared to live.
That I lived with all these years.
You get up just to plaster on a fake smile and laugh constantly,
Because that's what people who have their shit together do.
I hurt him.
My first love.
I fell hard.
I forgot.
I erased.
I escaped.
I yearned.
I fought.
I resisted.
I regret.
I got hurt.
I hurt him.
I learned real fast,
Life stopes for no one,
So I let pride take hold,
I learn fast never judge by what you see or hear,
Take my faith and believe in the impossible,
If you want to change the world,
A smile on my face
A joke coming out of my mouth
A mask of indifference when hurtful words are thrown my way
Pretend it doesn’t hurt
Fiting into my jeans is almost as difficult as fiting in with everyone else.
The fear of never being wanted is almost as scary as my fear of being "that girl."
Behind the curtains
Never let them close
Keep your secrets concealed
So that no one should know
All the pain and the tears
Can leave a dessert run soaked
wish the problems fade away
Hiding.
Who she is, and what she likes.
Pretending.
So she won't get judged or even laughed at.
Molded.
So she can "fit in" with the "cool kids"
And Unhappy,
With what she has now become.
Eighteen years of backstage passes
Sleepless nights spent looking after the home
Faked smiles while out,
bottled tears while alone
4:32 am
I sit up and look around my room only to see different shades of black, each just as lonely as the next.
I have done the things THEY want me to do.
I have loved the people THEY want me to love.
I have concealed myself with things that carry false pretenses.
I have changed everything i am for THEM.
I have become desperate to fit in.
Behind the curtain its cold
wont you ever stop laughing?
things fall apart the center cannot hold
the soul seems to be trapped with no where to go
why hide behind the curtain?
I hide behind a silver cross that hangs from my neck,
My grandmother’s,
Because here atheism is a shameful word.
But it’s true, I don’t believe in God.
I don’t believe things are “meant to be,”
Little ones, afraid of the dark,
know more than we do.
They know secrets are in the dark,
I have always found safety in "putting on a mask",
hiding myself I avoided vulnerable exposure.
Every once and a while I'd find that mask had become stuck.
Glued to my face and personality, and I would question who I was.
Pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain,
Just look upon the bells and whistles I have placed upfront.
But why inquire to see the girl behind the curtain,
When you yourself are enacting the same stunt.
Smiles and laughter are the first you see
When u look at me.
Hidden behind my eyes are,
My pain and fears
You only need to look closely to see.
Who is this person that smiles so bright?
I like to think that I'm bold,
that I'm comfortable with who I am.
That I'm the same person on the inside
as the one that the world beholds.
That's not what I'm told
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
If I were less afraid I would have turned myself inside out and shown you even the darkest sublevels of my conscience.
I would have scooped out my thoughts
Like the innards of a pumpkin
Every person is born with an empty canvas.
From a young age she showed promise
She learned addition and subtraction when she was just 5 years old,
Her times table when she was 6.
Behind the curtain
Beneath the skin
it's different than what's in front
Out for others to see
Eye contact feels like lasers
When people are staring, it feels like the world is closing in
The doors open for shows at seven,
And prohibit customers past eleven.
When the time comes and the clock strikes the hour,
Hundreds of people charge into the tower.
Swarms of customers all rushing about,
A Mask,
Displayed upon a smooth, ebony, Hershey surface,
Framed by the luscious, succulent, crimson lips,
Glistening pearly whites,
The Mask,
Revealed for all the World to see,
Concealing truly,
Insulated, trapped, this box that's holding me
Mirrors all around, but there's no room to breathe
Knives are in my back and an arrow to the heart
I've got time to spare since despair won't let me part.
Behind the hazel, she's just a lonely little one. Behind the hazel, she wants to the world to be gone. Behind the hazel, she's fighting everyday. Behind the hazel, she's scared in every way. Behind the hazel, she's slightly shattered.
“You’re not in this alone. Let me break this awkward silence…”
Blared loud into eardrums
Eardrums of an emotionally unhinged fourteen year old boy
Who's hiding behind the locked door?
No one seems to hear me.
Who's behind the curtain?
No one seems to see me.
Who's hiding behind mask?
No one seems to see who I really can be.
Why are you hiding?
A fallen angel
with a broken wing
Still she manages
somehow to sing
Though her song is sweet
It's full of sorrow
Wasted yesterdays
with a promise for tomorow
She fell for love
Why one must hide just to be accepted?
Why must parents judge even when they say they won’t?
There are no reasons to lie just so we do not get criticized
He walked the halls with his chest puffed out
Everybody knew him as the head of the crowd.
His confident smile put warmth in a cold heart,
not a soul knowing his heart was the coldest one of all.
When Blue Reflects Upon Waves
I’m staring, always staring, forever staring,
No focus in sight, yet a bright future yields token,
Novel, arguably plausible possibilities.
They always say love yourself first,
other wise, you'll end up hurt.
But I'm tellin' you I loved me before.
It some how got out of hand and I started loving you more...
than myself.
Rising with the sun starts my everyday
Look out to the arena and see a mere
Horses and boots are my life
Ride everyday with no fear
I am constantly throwing hay
Year after year
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
There is something you will never see....
The true me ,hiding behind all these lies wanting to feell accepted ,wanting to be regonized.
I dont want people to think of me boring and she has no life .
I step onto the stage
ready to entertain,
but people do not know
Behind the curtain
I left my shame.
Fantasies are what they are seeing.
What draws you into hell?
Why do they bother hearing
On the outside he's happy
Smiling and vain
But on the inside he's crumbling
Suffering from pain
His family life ain't the best
No he knows it could be better
But he isn't exactly the type
I’m surrounded by a wall
That blocks out the sun
But keeps out the harsh wind
I hate it
But its safety
I've been through it all, but you would never know.
Rarely do I let my past baggage show.
I've stolen, abused, lied and used
Who is this person coming to the surface? I'm so confused.
Here I stand
Waiting, Hoping, Praying,
Hours, days, weeks go by.
Few words and short calls;
Long nights with silent tears.
Days of wishing, wanting, waiting.
Patience
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude to me, is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what people think, say or do.
You know me as the hapy, funny girl.
But you know what,
Everyday is a struggle
Somedays, I dread to wake up
Windows shuttered
Blinds closed
Curtains drawn
Don't look in
Sealed up tight
Invisible me
Relaxed
Lonely
Sliver of light
Crack in the wall!
Warms the skin
Click click click
hear we go again
these scholarships are free
and the money is my friend
i write about my life
to be judged by some man
am i worthy of your spoils?
Full of flaws or rather deprived of it?
Perfection in one or an endless search to reach it,
Pondering on things that make me unique,
Blurs the reality of who is the real me,
In life we’re given two options,
Depression.
It's a common theme.
I shout in the void,
No one hears my screams.
Externally though;
I have high esteem...
Beautiful genes,
Role model teen,
Homecoming queen,
Chalk dust fingers
and
Jell-o tongues
Aligned wearing
Pressed white shirts and sharp blue bows
hold
Bright coins that fall dull upon the ground
hold
I don't belong here, at a private University.
I didn't belong there, at a public high school, at a community college, or in juvie.
I am among the elite, with a horrific secret eating at my soul.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,
For he is an introverted tune
Purred quietly by a lion,
To be hummed along with,
Like the mellowing strum of
An acoustic guitar.
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
Every lion must lie below the grasses
The perch must lurk until the little fish passes
Ragged teeth are cloaked by gums
Like the camouflage print on a hunting gun
Can’t you the feel the rain?Can’t you see the tears the stars cry at night,under the moon light?But only you can stop the rain,Only you can soothe the pain,
Who am I, who are you, who are any of us really
We hide, we lie, we submit to pressure freely
We take what others call weakness
And mask it in hate, or strength or meekness
We.do not show our passion or our joy
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
I take a xanax here and there to escape my impending doom.
I've come to find that life is safer from the comfort of my room.
Tears, streaming down my face
Insecurities, flooding my mind
The clock is counting down; Life's a race
Of the confidence we're trying to find.
I show you a happy smile; an open embrace
Shadows of the night
Mortal enemy
Of my soulless life
That once again
Has brought to the light
What by day I manage
To keep buried deep inside me
By day you can see
Woke up, hooped out of the bed then looked at the time
looked in the mirror, rubbed my eyes kinda shocked what i find
is this thing true, or is this some image that is trapped in my mind
The curtains fall, their breaths' are hushed
She enters the stage, cheeks a'flushed
She's captured the moment, they are rapt attent
On the edge of their seats, even Lord Gent
The curtains fall, their breaths' are hushed
She enters the stage, cheeks a'flushed
She's captured the moment, they are rapt attent
On the edge of their seats, even Lord Gent
How can I be me when i look around and people out to judge me, saying untruthful things about me and expect me not to plead. That the things were said untruthful was not for you to believe.
“Free me”, she screams in his face.“No more.No more a moore.I am a river.I flow.I live and give
Depression is a powerful demon. It takes your happiness and slams it against your own brain and heart. Hope is hard to find, and the end of the constant drowning is unclear.
i lost myself
in my blanketed tomb
scars on my wrist
and pills on my tongue
couldn't breathe
although i tried
i tried and tried
My mask? you ask
is made of smiles
of laughter
of pretending I don't miss you
well here's the truth:
i miss you everyday...
when i remember
how you laugh about everything...
when i want
Take a second and look at me?
Am I everything that I appear to be?
You know me for my smile,
the constant giggle you hear.
I bet you couldn’t imagine what I hide inside.
Lonely nights of crying and scars.
I don't do regular, I'm far from it
Just makes it sick to your stomach now don't it
I do stuff you couldn't do, it's too easy
When you hear of my illness baby it'll make you quesy
I'm a flawless lady made of different parts, it's hard to find the words to start.
Everything about me screams flawless. Whether it's the way I walk with my head held high or the aroma I leave when I walk bye.
My heart is a fragile thing
I try not to let people in
fear keeps me behind the curtain
I'm down on my knees
doubts make me feel like I have to follow society
fear keeps me behind the curtain
Why am I here
I ask myself every day
To live, to love, to laugh maybe
I don't fully understand my purpose
Hopes of being something great
Dreams of being something amazing
I wonder how people see me
Hiding behind a pseudonym with no shame;
My popularity hasn't been the same;
See that girl?
Alone, shuttering against the cold,
Making her way to point B?
Wearing her hand-me-down jacket and shoes with rips and tears,
Only wanting to make it through the day.
I hide behind a mask,
not showing my true self.
As i sit here with my flask,
my thoughts all so stealth.
Who am I supposed to be?
My friends tell me be cool,
be strong, be the life of the party.
Do it no matter what even if you act like a fool.
Be down for anything and don't trip
I tend to hide what's inside
I don't know how to express my mind
I hide my soul behind brown eyes
I want to shout at the world, but get tongue-tied
I wish that people could only see
Gemini, they tell me I am
Throwing out words like
Fickle, unpredictable,
Uncontainable, unreliable
Excitable, dynamic,
Restless and mutable, a proper air sign indeed
I did not wake up like this
I grew with love and happiness
my family kept me grounded and strong
my faith kept me where I belong
I might have my faults, don't we all?
A mask is heavy.
It weighs down against your soft skin,
scratches against the porcelain surface
leaving nothing but shadowed marks
that protrude against a pale complexion.
Hidden behind my silent smile I stand aware.
Encourage the abuse of the tortured? I don’t dare.
But
I stare, and cry internally,
Yearn forever,
She’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream
stuck on the outside of the world.
She’s never enough for herself-much less the insiders.
The words she speaks are formulated days in advance, rehearsed, edited, scrapped.
i am flawless because i wake up every morning and don't want to get out of bed
but i do anyways.
and every day, i wear my battle armour;
whether it's red lipstick or my combat boots
Flawless.
Flaws of the skin,
Flaws from within
Lost and damaged
Working hard to repair a mental image.
You did not wake up like this
You're currently looking in the mirror at a far cry from what it is.
I HEAR THESE VOICES IN MY HEAD
THEY TELL ME I AM NO GOOD
I AM ASHAMED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THEM
BUT WONDER IF I SHOULD?
THESE VOICES HAVE STARTED TO CONSUME ME
THEY TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Trained ears,
Strong mind.
Studied mind,
Exercised mouth.
Hashtag: Feminist.
Hashtag: Liberal.
Hashtag: Woman.
Twitter, Facebook:
Platforms.
Say it.
Just say it.
False face. A mask. A covering. Something you use to hide something.
Behind my false face I am lost.
To others I appear as a happy and silly person but there is more to it.
Hurt.
Deceit.
Loss.
Pain.
I show them only skin deep
Trying to hide my flaws within
I cry each night
I see only darkness
I show them a brighter me
I show them a happy soul
I smile
I laugh
When inside I am dead
Symbiosis.
Greek. Meaning together.
interaction between two organisms
living in close physical association,
typically to the advantage
of both.
I am, and have been
"I'm fine." I smile as I reply,But really on the inside I am screaming, what a liar.I'm so unhappy I can barely breatheI numbly live my life, I can't feel anything.
Some people love me for who I am
Others hate me for what they see
Some respect me for what they see
Others look down on me for who I am
I make mistakes
I embarrass myself
My mind is free of almost all the bindings.
I create something out of nothing
I am invisible because of the over windng.
I am not compatible with their lusting
The world treats me differently
Behind these eyes are hidden lies,That nobody has ever realized.But why hide between those hidden lies?There's no one really by my sideTired of wearin a paper bag, coverin up what's behind my smiles.
I walk down halls of familiar faces every day
But are they really so familiar
Or are they like me
Hiding myself from the outer world
Afraid to show people
Show people that I am always unhappy
I hate these ballet shoes
Everyday marks another bruise
And as I dance with the pain, my brain is in flames, going insane
Working double time over what should be considered a war-crime
I wear veil of disguise
occasionally I will peek out of it
and expose my true face
telling my deep thoughts of
beginnings and endings and
what's in between.
Only a few accept me
for me.
I walk through the halls looking at people,
poeple look at me.
I don't care what they think as they pass in silence.
This is me.
I smile and wave at strangers,
as if they're life time friends.
Incorrect, pupil.
Thou shalt not reply in such a fashion.
The mannerism of erudite
is all but eradicated.
Thou shalt never reveal interest in school-
In teachers' wellbeing-
I wake up this morning seeing me
and I wonder
what would it be like to be he
but I can be he
cant you see
through compassion I can be he and she!
or just plain me
Happy is a smiling face
Caring and thoughtful
to those who don't know
Sweetheart,
you shouldn't hide
I am quirky
I am loud
I am imperfect
I am awkward
I get nervous
I lose focus
I make mistakes
I get back up
I am powerful
I am strong
I believe in myself
There she was
Laying on her bed
Hair messed up
Makeup smeared
Beaten
No will to live
No strength to go on
No recognition of what self love was
Every day I pass you I smile so you do too
Every day you see me you look right through
The crows feet and the laugh lines that mark my face
Do not stand a chance against the feelings I case
Take the candle bright and bold,
See it dripping red and cold.
Hidden deep within herself,
Broken with the bitterness.
Selfish needs of other people,
Beating hearts and bleeding steeples.
Flawless is me,
because this is how God made me.
Flawless is me,
Because God made me this way,
And this is how i am gonna stay.
Flawless is me,
Because God loves me,
You’d never know just looking it her,
That each day fights for her self-worth.
A depressed mother,
An abusive father.
I define myself by my secrets.
I count them like scar marks or ticks in the sidewalk and cloak myself in them like curtains.
I am stitched into a world of sin, but this design is suiting me.
Behind the Curtain
By David Orosco
I am good at many things, but great at nothing
I am an outdoorsman, preferably hunting
I have a love for the arts especially music
The only thing people define me by;
"The emo girl with cuts on her wrists".
Instead of discovering who I really am, they only see my many scars that lie on my wrist.
Underneath the makeup
And underneath the scars,
Titanium plates –
They break her heart.
Once a pretty face,
A joyride gone wrong,
Now an ugly memory
Is all that belongs.
Smile, Laugh, Go Crazy
You can cry when you get home
Stop Talking, No ones listening
You have no where to go
I am an alien.
No, you needn’t be afraid;
I simply come here to learn your ways.
My home planet
I’ll admit I do miss.
It’s called Summer, and oh what bliss.
Before coming
I am not a carbon copy of anyone or anything
I am not your rag to use until your mess has all been cleaned
I am not the nervousness that hits me when I'm asked to speak
Behind the closed doors hides a little girl
She seems afraid and confused
She seems scared and alone
She seems weak and luckless
She seems odd and unwanted
She seems ugly and depressed
I look to the sky and think to myself,
What if I were anybody else,
I've lived this life for many years,
But yet I've kept the same two ears,
What if I were you?
What if you were me?
The mirror shows, more than you knowAbout yourself, about your life,And the feelings you don't show.The mirror reflects more than just yourselfIt reflects your life in general,It reflects something else.
Older siblings, older cousins, older adults
everywhere.
Strict, proper, Catholic
everywhere.
No C's, no B's, A's
everywhere.
Do that! Do this! Grow up!
Everywhere.
Okay, I will.
Turning my heart with a racket
trying to break it loose
to revel the contents inside
reveling who i truly am
When your goneits like my world stops.when your gonemy head spins in loops.when your gonemy heart feels hollow.but only when your gone.
Captivated by her beauty, the beast overcomes me.The beast i cannot tame. The beast that tells me who i am. And who i want to be.I see the way you look at her.The way she looks at you.
Let's be raw and emotional here,
Growing up, I shriveled away in the corners of the room
enveloped in a young girls insecurities,
On the good side of the curtain,
I am the smiling, sweet girl that everyone can see.
On the bad side of the curtain,
I am the dying, angry girl that only I can view.
On the good side,
Who am I?
Behind this curtain
I hide, but no one sees me.
Confused
Scared, lonely
Different and not your most likely
Candidate for I
Don't truly know. Who I am
Pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain. She only comes out when she's all alone. The mask is only taken off when she is by herself.
I'm afraid someone will see me at my darkest
When no light shine through the clouds
So I put on a smile and continue to breath
Deeply.
I want to shield you from the cloud and the rain
This curtain here is ratchet,
It’s overbearing and quite resilient.
It’s embedded with daggers,
Preventing it from prevailing.
It’s discriminate to all,
Because
I'm a broken glass behind the scenesI am an entire home in shamblesI'm only so sturdyThese shelves can only hold a heartAbsolutely nothing else
The mask that one presents to the world is not so much a place to hide, but more a fear of whats inside.
A day filled with guilt and pleasure.
How could someone defy that which sustains them?
Yet how hard have I worked to indulge?
Meager dreariness coats the beginning of everyday.
Pulgarcita: Thumbelina.
Living in the grass.
Inquires of the day to day,
yet no one seems to ask
about the way
she seemed to hurl
herself into the world.
Pulgarcita: Thumbelina
Two masks,Safety in numbers,One a closed-in clown,Another a screaming shadow,Both pieces of a puzzle,Two numbers of the unbreakable code that hides what’s within,
I've always been afraid to take this mask off of my face.
Afraid that no one will like me and I'll never find my place.
Within these brick school walls I hear them laughing and pointing at me.
10
9
8
You count down,
It's almost time.
7
6
5
The tears they fall,
No going back now.
4
We werent born the same.
Everyone is different
mankind has flaws
Even the sky has lightning and thunder
but who is to say that isnt beautiful?
Some people may see the flaws in you
Sometimes the disconnect between
the world
and me
(not the fingers typing the words, but the place
Not another love can compare to you,
Or was it even love at all?
I had your undivided attention at first,
Or was it only for the thirst?
I Am Not Like Them
I’m quiet.
I don’t talk around them.
I am scared.
What if they don’t like me?
Inside, a flower ready to bloom.
Nobody understands.
I want nothing more,
When people see me they see
A beautiful, black woman
They have no idea what my story is
They don't know the pain in my smile
They don't know the tiredness in my eyes
They just see what I allow them to see
Teacher, condemn me,
For I am not an athelete.
Classmates, bully me,
For I am not petite.
Break me down for what I cannot control.
Tear me apart for this illness that began at eleven years old.
She laughs
She's okay
Nothing is wrong
They think she's okay
She begins to think so too
At home she stares at the mirror
Hours pass
She takes off her smile
Her laugh
Her makeup
Her days were devoured by darkness.
Her life was empty, yet she was filled with sadness.
Her purpose on earth was often a question.
Quiet and shy, is how they see me,
but, is that who I am really?
Oh yes, there are things that they do not know,
thre are may things I choose not to show.
This face you see
It isn't really me
Why don't you talk
Because I talk a lot
Let me hear your voice
No, that's a foolish choice
You might not like me
I'm a far different person
than you think me to be
"She's obviously vapid because
she's going into fashion and likes
makeup!" Is what everyone seems
to think when they meet me.
Hell, I even played a
teacher with this bit.
Yes, I am a girl.
for the defintion of beauty
like the definition of art
cannot be defined
every wound and scar only to add to the shine
for all is valued
they may doubt it but I never will
Flaws are beautiful
Reality fades away,
and once again I'm trapped in my mind.
I'm left with my thoughts,
that scare me with all their doubts.
If this title defines who I am to society,
Shouldn't it speak volumes?
It should -
But fuck society!
I am a proud, closeted pansexual
With a romantic heart and a dirty mind.
Sometimes I show the real meThe one that no one ever seesThe one who doesn't know what see wantsThe one who rarely ever talksThis me doesn't know what to say
Who is this lady in the mirror?
Nerly flawless, intelligent, attentive
Cordial, joyous, expected
She whimpers
A light shines bright
But who would ever notice
That the shadows of her face
Your beautiful mind is sick
You see yourself as less than you are
I know you think you're not worth a crap,
But your very being makes me glad
I hope you know you're worth more than a mountain of gold
The curtain keeps me safeThe curtain is my friendIt is my armor from the judgementsThe viciousnessThe cruelty of others But deep down I know
Little ole' me
been hiding and hidng,
I think its time to come out and see?
NO MORE HIDING!
Behind the curtain
What I keep hidden
From your eyes and mind
Is strictly forbidden
Under the mask
What a clever disguise
I am me
Can I be me while trying to fit in this square
In your square
What society wants from me
Cannot be the same as who I am
Or who I want to be
Are you ready to see what hides behind the curtain? Can you handle something so uncertain? All you can hear is laughter from her lips, and see a shadow moving her hips. Are you ready to pull the curtain? Are you ready for the uncertain?
Hi, My name is Abriana, and I'm addicted to him. He is like my drug, never good for me but still good enough to silence the pain.
Sometimes I wish I was crazy.
Wouldn't it be nice?
I could do anything I want freely.
No judgment.
People would say "Don't mind her. She's crazy."
No responsibilities.
This girl is always smiling, filling our hearts with love. But no one knows the truth.. what it's like when shes alone. Broken dreams, slashing screams. not what we call home.
She is self-absorbed
She can’t be bothered with your petty problems
She’s got shit to do
She likes to stay home then accuse her friends
Of leaving her out
Child, why do you hide?
Don't you know the world has lied?
You are so beautiful without any help,
Don't throw in the towel and say "Oh welp."
You may think your body isn't the right proportion,
I have a confession to make.
I am not who they portrayed;
Beneath the “steel” exterior
Lies a child who afraid of breaking barriers
Always hide behind the curtain
Because I’m afraid I’ll be abandoned.
Behind the curtain
In the closet
Wherever I am
I am here because of you
Every loud remark you make
Not realizing you were comdemning your own daughter
The way hate slides off your lips so easily
Someone with self harm on their mind is not "doing alright",Someone with darkness in their eyes cannot "see the light",Dont yell at them and blame them for things that aren't their fault, Cause they will believe it.
"small lips", "big nose", "pale face",
"big eyes", "small thighs", "fat in the wrong place",
"awkward", "strange", "too shy",
but "dont let them get to you", "dont you cry"
smile, smile, smile.
Let us linger here a while in the foolishness of things. Let the wind and the rain cleanse all our sorrow and shame.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words will always hide me.
Letters interlocking in long chains,
linking, binding, sequestering away,
Dripping down the body like strings of slick pearls
Let's take a trip,
no a dip into
the past where
the sun showed,
where the dew on the
leaves of the grape vines
glowed.
Before echoes of the
railroad
pinged and clanged,
Surrounded by laughs and smilesWhile I just listenOnly my ears are openSealed lips shutWords can't be spokenI understandThis is who I amI say what they want to hear
He wants to love but can not love
He walks the streets like the boy society thinks he is
Pain is deep it can not come out, Pain is deep it must stay in
He must not hurt a soul again
I scream and shout
You hear me from across the room
I'm a bright prescence even when you want nothing to do but get away
Always laughing
Wearing a constant grin
Doing my best to pull out a smile or a chuckle
I'm that girl.
That girl who smiles and walks with a skip in her step
who gets only As and Bs and and is involved in every club.
That girl who people like to be friends with
because she is bubbly
and fun.
we live in a world of black and white with people living colorless lives hiding just out of sight husbands with perfect wives this is not the real world not the real me I live in color like a dream always hidi
It's all a lie.
People come and go buzzing around like little flies.
There is no school alike, but yet they are all the same.
They all spread rumors and play the same games.
Who is the real me? Am I the person who people look to for a good laugh when they’re feeling down?Am I the person who is there for my friends and family in their times of need?
I look in the mirror
I don’t expect what I see
The reflection is not mine
Looking so perfect
With make-up, pretty hair
And a fabricated smile
The mirror of my soul
Is so much deeper
Everything you say has so much meaning but I don't listen 'cause I don't want to think too much.
Tall. Blonde. Blue eyes. Skinny.
Perfect.
Make up on?
Yes.
Good girl.
Deep breath.
Pull back the curtain.
Smile, damn it.
They have to beleive.
Stop.
.
.
You cannot know me,
No matter how you try,
For I am only known to me,
There is more than meets the eye.
Inside the gilded cage,
Inside the enigmic mind,
No one knows my age,
Living under a facade is hard when it's all you've ever known.You trudge past the faces of todaywhile remembering the ones
Of course I have time to listen to your multitude of problems
It’s not like I could be doing hundreds of other more productive things right now.
Do you see the sympathy in my face?
As I walk down this road
I look for a low glow
A free place in this world
With no judgement to speak.
When the sign that I hold
Is only for show,
She knows she is going somewhere, but is she? She knows she pushed hard, but did she move? Her legs carry her far, but to nowhere. Her talents drag her up a high mountain only to drop her down into an icy water fall that keeps falling.
On the stage stands a puppet that smiles frequently
With poise and impeccable posture
On the stage, she never neglects courtesy
Conscientious, preparing for the future
But behind the curtain
I changed my look
I changed my hair.
I changed for friends who won't be there.
I changed my smile
I changed my clothes
I thought my change would be worthwhile
The real you is not liked,
Not admired, not of any importance.
You hide to be accepted,
Who am I?
Im a young girl
Happy as can be
Always smiling
when my friends are with me
Who am I?
Im a young girl
Drowning in sadness
consumed by sorrow
always crying
The true me is being smothered.
It’s been stuck under an ambiguous mass for some time.
It afflicts me.
I have yet to figure out where I went or when I lost myself.
the quiet girl, they all speak of
my thoughts parade in my mind
how can perfection occur when the world is no better
it is a race between time
a smile in public, but a frown alone
I found a doctor who doesnt believe a word I say
He asked what was wrong with me on this day
I replied "I see things that I shouldn't see
A world without sweet honey or bees
To sting"
I was misguided. My demons would taunt me. Convince me to wander on countless occasions. I'd roam around until they'd finally attack. They always did and always do, as soon as they see their chance. They feed on any sign of weakness.
My mask is like no other
She smiles and laughs and jokes
But people don't even bother
Knowing the girl that chokes
On her tears
It ages her years
For this is me
Behind myself
"A", yeah, that's my initial.
It's the first letter that defines me.
Who I am displayed for the world to see.
But that's just on paper and computer screens.
Forgive me, Bluejay
I killed that bird,
because that bird was hurting me
it pecked here and there, Bluejay
but mostly stole my air
as it flew around my head
and kept me awake at night
"She is far too naive. She converses too
often with the sky, and eventually,
she will crumble."
I am shaking the terror off my skin
and I am digging up the words that have
I have nothing,
Nothing in the slightest, but thats alright,
if I have nothing, you can't take from me, right?
From behind the curtains i peek. Too afraid that people will see me. To be judged or booed of the stage. I would have to brave. From the beginning it has been a game of hide and seek.
Ha, yah that’s really funny, that joke you just made
Suicide jokes always are aren’t they?
You know what’s even funnier?
Being up at 4 in the morning on a school night
Trying to talk your friend out of suicide
?eM
Si ohW
Fo em sihT
Ma ?kaeps uoy mohW
I kniht uoy ohw I
Ohw I mA ?mA
I yas I
uoY ?mA
?wonK
I
Ton dluoW
Ylf a truH
Dna tnuh I teY
What is beauty?
People say beauty is what's on the inside,
if that were true, I would be ugly.
I hide behind my mask of silky blonde hair and "flawless" brown eyes,
but who am I really?
I have moved on from you,
4 years in a realationship with someone who actually care,
So why I am still scared of you?
I see you and I forget to breathe,
I even begin to shake.
I write this now in the mist of darkness, captivated by the thoughts that have been longing to erupt.
Men and Women.
Sons and Daughters.
Overlapping lives trying to relate with one anther, judge one another.
We scratch and scrape, betray, abandon. Whatever it takes to reach the top.
I stand behind this curtain,
Talking, in different tones, voices
I dare not peak out to see you
And for you to see me
I stand beind this curtain,
Laughing, in different ways
My costume is the day to day
not Halloween, the holiday of the eternal smile
The eternal smile
Everyone looks for that infinite line
Dug under the infinite line is a bullet hole of compassion
Unmask Me
Unmask me.
Unmask who I am.
Unmask who I was and will be.
Who I never was;
Who I wish I was;
Who others think I am;
Who I think I am;
I hide behind a curtain
because I'm afraid that others will see,
the person I truely am,
The person I want to be.
I hide behind a curtain
because I'm hated for what I am.
Raise the curtain
Dim the lights
Take the stage
And shine bright
Play the part
And look to the crowd
Put on your mask
But smile proud
Though I smile each time you see meAt a glance you say my eyes glistenI feel alone while thousands swarm around meThe tears filling the corners of my eyes plead for you to listenI swore they were all accidents
Why must the pain live on?
Why must suffering prolong?
Why not love
And be loved?
Why do I close that curtain to my soul?
“Don’t show them who you are.
Don’t let that side break through.”
My world was trapped in a bottle before I knew
What world I was living in.
He lost himself in a bottle
She lost herself in his betrayal
Only a child, I cried for comfort
Who am I?
When everything I
was dies,
When everything I
thought I knew was a lie.
Who am I?
Who tries to be something she's not,
Who cried and fought
And in the end had
Plump soft lips are desired in the world,
I always wanted plump lips like my mom
so that I could show I am worth something when I let you in.
Soft kissable lips are desired by men,
Redifining, rearing its ugly head
Erie, empthying its color along my bed
Daring, coming alone and not dead
Red is the color of a crayon, and blood
Red is the name of album, and song
The letters I type, they form a word, and with the word, a sentence, correct?
The letters with strangely, no meaning alone
The letters without a home
The word with strange meaning behind
Hell ain't a place, but a word now used to describe the situation
Hell ain't nothing without a king, but now it has an emperor, a god, and leader.
Heaven is not a dream too far away, but a place I called my home
I see
I see the storm brewing around me without any grey clouds in sight
I see the crash bound to happen when speeding on an empty road
I see the shining light in the darkness that is wrongfully avoided
“Pay no attention to the face behind the curtain”,
Or the silhouette in the mirror,
eyes are the window to the soul, they say
you say you dont love me anymore,
that you could never come back,
you are lieing to yourself - and me
you cant come back because you never left
we all have that face
you know, the one we hide from the ones we love.
but who saves us from seeing it in the mirror?
who saves us from seeing that face when we close our eyes?
somenights i dream about killing you,
somenights i dream about kissing you
but - every morning i wake up breathless -
and alone
Pay no attention to the woman behind the curtain,
her heart is filled with hurt, deceit.
A woman who's built a reputation and has standards none can match
The only thing that seems
to hold me back at times
is syntax in my sentences,
and error in my rhymes
I fear the judging eyes of others
the rhidicule of mothers
When I was 13, and depressed, and suicidal, I missed five months of school.
Well, I was homeschooled. But I wasn’t at school.
Only my teachers knew why I was gone.
I had no friends.
"Sorrow Behind a Pretty Smile" O' Fear , She keeps me bottled up inside
phsycially i am strong
emotionally i am not
most of us are that way
we can endure many things
but we break down alot easier than we care to admit
i am a man with a secret that is breaking me down
A picture can capture the beatiful scences created by nature. The scence might dissappear after a few seconds, so every picture is different and that's the beauty of the world.
I wish people would change,
Change for good
I wish people would love,
Love forever
I wish people would stop
Stop abusing
The eyes are the first thing that you notice, then comes the whispers and you cannot unnotice this.
when I was four, Dad taught me to read
before all the others
and when the teachers all found out
I felt really smothered.
even now if someone says
"Hey, look at what Cathy can do!"
I stand staring in the mirror looking so hard as if my reflection might change. Leaving the breeding grounds that feed the sounds in my head. Slipping on a cloak of silence as I leave the house hiding the very things that make me, me.
Down far below in the cellar,
There is a window
I look out somtimes.
And I see my reflection-
My soul much like my foe-
Staring back at my imperfection.
It is here now in this cellar,
Why cant i see what others see. I want to see what others say of me. They say your awesome, they say your great. But they fail to realize that I hold up a gate.
I am surrounded by the need to conform
But I refuse to
I will forever be unique
My mask is introversion
It shields me well
Because of it I am independent but often alone
We all hide our true selves in some shape or form
With make up , clothes, our persona- what we want other to see and know,
but not what we actually are
and very few knew
what was underneath
Ever wonder?
About the clap of thunder
That is never heard
Under the rustle of the wings of a bird?
A bird who goes just with the group
That follows loop after loop
Look at you,
You are beautful, naturally beautiful,
Even though you don't see it yourself,
I see the pain glimmering in your dark brown orbs you possess,
So much seen,
So much experienced,
I'm not your doormat
I'm not your fallback
I'm not soley here to comfort you
When no one else will deal with you
My accepting nature has becomea weakness
You don't really get to see
what happens behind these scenes
The shifting of bags
the scuttling of feet
powders, balms, lights, and cues
remembering to stand on the tape
meeting your gaze
On the outside I smile and laugh
But inside I am very sad
I look around and wonder why
I always want to lay and cry
My life is good. I’ve done good things.
But even the good can be crushed by
The young man in the mirror is me,
His broad shoulders show his age,
My head starts to question,
Is this my own reflection,
Which is staring me face to face.
The young man in the mirror is aging ,
"Don't wear that it's too much black"
But I think I look fine
"Don't cut your hair it'll be too short"
I hate having long hair
"Don't listen to that music in which they constantly scream"
The room is pale and dull.
There is no noise.
Only the walls could hear and see.
Any yell or scream couldn't be heard.
Four empty corners.
No time is waisted.
There is no way out.
Fingertips trace along the worn out, cracked wall,
I have it pinned up front where everyone can see.
“You’re boring”
I smile thinly
Returning to my book
It’s hardly a plot twist
I’ve heard this many times
I already know it’s true
But then they keep coming back
The curtain is green, white, and green
The comments ahead are obscene
Too tall, too quiet, too Nigerian
too rich, too poor, too different
Growing up, did your grandma cook grits?
No, fufu
Calmly and Gently,
Sure and Confident,
Happy and Together
on the outside
Shaky and Scared
Unsure and Questioning
Never to know
On the inside
The person I want to be
Inside of me, there is somebody.
It is me mentally, me behind the physical me.
He/She runs a circus. An affair of all kinds.
He/She often comes out to play, when someone on the outside catches his/her eye.
Why leave?When the cover of the curtain so soft like satin can hide youAlways hidingBecause the reality of being found out is terrifyingAnd the curtain is soothing
My eyes slowly open wide
my eyes see the blackened room around me.
It's time to start another day,
Its time to fake another me.
Another day of the same old things,
another day of the same routine
Behind the curtain
There is nothing uncertain
The world is mine to control
Away from the safety of my oasis
There is a basis
In the statement I am going to make
What am I hiding?
Can't you tell?
A secret so big,
Hidden deep where I dwell.
Something I want to share,
But...
Stop
You, Them, Everyone
Stops me.
I Am From
Showing compassion,
Caring for everyone
Even if you were my worst enemy,
I'd try my hardest to please you.
I am From
Being positive,
I'm the cheerleading everyone hears yelling her heart out at every game.
The girl who helped send the softball team to state.
I'm the girl that's always smiling or laughing.
But at night I'm someone completely different.
The girl behind the curtain
I sat beside myself for years pushing and pushing to just fight.
Fight for yourself.
Fight for your dreams.
But fear constantly holds me down like a crucifix on my chest.
What people don’t see is the society
Crumbling under the pressure of standards
Standards
As in requirements that need to be met in order for the simple human to be temporarily satisfied
Satisfied
Who am I
Behind the mask,
Just get to know me,
And you won't have to ask.
I'm like nobody else,
A snowflake of creation
An individual person
A source of inspiration.
She's so innocent, so sweet
Quiet girl, bustling world
Why can't she break free?
Why can't she scream?
Never being noticed or seen
So badly she wants the world to see
If you turn me inside out
You shall not find mere biological organs
You will encounter an eager soul
Yearning to fully investigate the world
That lies beyond my flesh and skin
The Slam Behind the Curtain.
What a curious sound.
They looked, and looked,
but it was just me they found.
They keep on looking past me,
eyes searching up high and low.
This fabric, cloaks me in darkness….
The cage within my inner mind fights amongst my own thoughts
A whirl wind of confusion.
I wonder…
Did Confucius mean to be confusing in his proverbs?
Smiles are happy, joyful, beautiful,
Smiles are deceiving,
A smile is merely exposed teeth in your skull,
What lies beneath?
Under my sleeves there are scars you see
they were created so deep that they will never leave
constantly reminding me of how much I caused my family to grieve
under this smile you'll soon come to know
Longing to take part,
But not wanting to lose who I am.
So I sit back in silence,
and let them think as they wish.
Still there's a longing in my heart
to open up and take part.
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!
For he is not his usual driven, loved, bright eyed and bushy-tailed self.
He lays there having suffered a great lost, a part of himself, and at all cost...
It's all a sham, who gives a damn about my plan
I'm not a good friend because I can't be the person I really truly am
I'm quiet, but in a moments notice that can surely turn violent
Most of the time, I feel like a fraud,
I walk around numb, with a plastered on smile,
I receive "hello's!" and "goodbye's" with a simple nod,
All in the hopes of staying in denial.
She sits as a mute everyday, when speaking pushes her heart. She looks with a stoic face, when a smile threatens to break her face. She listens with a tentative ear, when she is tired of hearing.
I hide behind it and look outhow are you?
It nods, acqueses and smiles withoutwho am I?
I see the inside and feel the paindon't show it!
On the surface there's no complaintwhat is it?
The true me
Can’t you see?
The weight of the world is constantly weighing on me
Like the branch of a tree,
Delicate, Stiff, Weak.
I can’t show the real me
Because someone might see
Abyss
Fluttering into an abyss,
dreaming for a way out
of this madness I call life.
Seeing a way out,
I am only a girl,a girl with a heartand a soul made of glass.
A girl who walks alone,keeping to herself.I am just a mysteryto the world passing by.
Everything I want to say,
but, no- I'll hold back.
Everything you need to know,
but, no- I'll hold back.
Trapped by my inablitiy to form words,
so, yes- I'll hold back.
In the beginning, I owned two masks. One was a Barbie, one was a Power Ranger.
Curtains cover your eyes,
You refuse to pull them back.
I am no longer your little girl,
I was never a part of the in-crowd.
Frequently misunderstood.
Floating away, and away, from
the unspoken traditions of the social kingdom.
"The last of a dying breed" as
SchoolBoy Q once remarked.
How do you cope? How do you live?
Life, why did I want to grow up?
People around me, harrassing me about "how things are going"
Nothing is what it seems." Kids are amazing and I couldn't be doing better"
Sixty seconds till open curtain
Everyone will laugh I just know it
I should leave before it comes to this
Right?
Why reveal myself if I know I won't be accepted
Wrong
I stand behind a wall of pain
Gazing out into a world of blame, that
You're so quick to spue from a fernace of flames, that
Your mouth claims. I stand
The walls are black and the lines are blue
The curtains are draping around you,
For judgments there is no measure or amount
But for understanding-
The world is filled with bitches.
Women got beauty confused with skin hanging out their britches.
Hoes, tricks, and sluts. No longer judged by the expression on one's face
but
what looks good on their butt.
I was the girl who was closed off
I was the loner
I was the loser
But then I came out of my shell
I got a boyfriend.
I got a best friend.
I found myself
Finally.
And now, to keep myself
I see dead people.
Population: 1.
But there's more on the inside
More voices in that mind
Climbing for the principal's chair, it turns the others mute and says
"Listen girl"
And says
You think you know what I'm all about,
you see me walk, you see me talk.
You see the way I care for others,
Do not look behind the curtain,
or take off this mask.
Do not look too deeply into these black eyes.
I must be a ghost.
Oh, how they walk through me.
It's like I'm invisible,
And no one hears my screams.
It's a lifetime story,
But I hate those shows.
There's things in the world,
This person isn't the brightest kid in school
nor in many other things
others can easily do
but this person has a mind
that seems to bring life changes
to others
Darkness circles the area of the box I'm in!
Them, they only see me standing there in glory, open space, with a smile as bright as sin,
Seeing is believingBut don’t believe everything you seeMost people don’t know what the real story is behind meLaugh, Smile, Joke, and CryYou would never know my thoughts from looking in my eyes
What’s the purpose of owning opinions if you’re too afraid to show them?
Humans are in need of a lesson;
All my life I’ve been taught one thing
And that one thing was to be tough
Ever since I was a tiny human being
First, bad words and fists. It was never enough.
Having a childhood in my house was never easy
They will never see the real me,I walk with a plastered smile,I try to let my soul escape from the darkness at home,A mother, who's not a mother,And a father, who's not a father
5 months into this foste care Life is a struggle, it just ain't fair All I want is to live with my mom and dad SO they can finally give me the life I never had I want to get away from all of this Liike these
On the outside
I am rough, tough… occasionally sardonic
Okay maybe not “occasionally”
Maybe more like….majority of the time
Yea that sounds about right
People don’t understand that part of me
