Curtained Bisexuality

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I'm the girl behind the curtain,
Frowning and uncertain.
I've been neglected and altered
into something that made me falter
whenever I looked into a mirror or 
indulged in a conversation that struck my core.
 
They don't understand me,
not the LGBTQ+ or my family. 
Might as well mark out the B 
when Lesbians and Heterosexuals call me a monstrosity.
"Make up" my mind? "Choose"? "It's a phase"?
There lies within my mind a maze. 
 
The girl outside the curtain isn't she,
the one who laughs and smiles with glee.
She cares too much and lives to impress,
but freezes up and begins to digress
when someone mumbles about bisexuality.
That's when she falls back into reality.
 
What's wrong with liking girls and boys?
What's wrong with wanting to make a noise
of anger when someone calls you bicurious?
I'm furious.
 
We talk big about equality,
we live for some kind of harmony.
Then why is my true self getting judged?
And my instincts taught me to remain unbudged,
whenever I saw someone like me
treated unfairly. 
 
I offend my peers when I make a retort,
about myself and my sexuality sort. 
Yet, those I thought similar to me,
proclaim they've been far from free. 
 
"I'm suppressed!" they cry, 
but won't stand to be looked in the eye, 
or told the truth of their hypocricy
when it's suddenly okay to boast about individuality.
 
Is it suddenly okay?
To be gay.
Or transgender or lesbian or bisexual?
Or will it come when everyone's intellectual?
 
"It will be okay,"
When? Because there hasn't been a day,
where I haven't recoiled from myself
or found it foreign to be yourself.
 
I want it to be okay this instant. 
I don't want to be so distant,
from my family -- my mom and dad,
I don't want to make them sad.
"Please, don't be mad."
 
I'm scared, I'm flustered,
I feel clustered
around all of these people who "support" my cause,
since when was this a cause?
I'm just being a human being.
I deserve to love and not feel like fleeing
at the mere sound of laughter.
 
In the end I've come to a conclusion. 
That in order to end the confusion, 
I'll accept my questions unanswered.
And remain behind the curtain; a coward.
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