Nothing
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when I was four, Dad taught me to read
before all the others
and when the teachers all found out
I felt really smothered.
even now if someone says
"Hey, look at what Cathy can do!"
I hide my talent inside myself
and say "no, that isn't true."
I don't like recognition
compliments leave me unsettled.
my talents aren't talents to me
more like my sister meddled
with my meager ability
to sing and harmonize
that is why my talents
aren't talents in my eyes
I seem ambitious but I'm really not
nothing's worth it these days
my constant jokes and laughs and smiles
are really just a haze
a mask that I put on so nobody says
anything
why do we have to smile 24/7
I don't think that happens even in Heaven
I have to smile all the time, though
because Heaven forbid any sadness show
through the happiness and comfort we need every day
does it matter in the end? will any of it stay?