Nothing

Location

when I was four, Dad taught me to read

before all the others

and when the teachers all found out 

I felt really smothered.

even now if someone says

"Hey, look at what Cathy can do!"

I hide my talent inside myself

and say "no, that isn't true."

I don't like recognition

compliments leave me unsettled.

my talents aren't talents to me

more like my sister meddled

with my meager ability

to sing and harmonize

that is why my talents

aren't talents in my eyes

I seem ambitious but I'm really not

nothing's worth it these days

my constant jokes and laughs and smiles

are really just a haze

a mask that I put on so nobody says

anything

why do we have to smile 24/7

I don't think that happens even in Heaven

I have to smile all the time, though

because Heaven forbid any sadness show

through the happiness and comfort we need every day

does it matter in the end? will any of it stay?

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