Regret
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I hope you see warm sun
Because your skin is cold.
I hope you feel my rust
Because these gears have mold.
My heart was made from human hands.
Void and uninterested
Disgusted and enraged
i wish not
to soothe your pain
to be used
for your selfish gain
securing your name
as you break me down again
It's funny how the brain works,
Suddenly reminding me of the abuse I unconsciously tried to forget.
Leaving me alone with the feelings of guilt and regret.
"I can wait" I said, meaning it genuinelyunbeknownst to what it would be costing methey say love takes time, and that patience is a virtuewith how long its taken us, how much of this is true? Did I smother you?
I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am okay,
Cause if I am being honest, it really changes and I have to take it day by day.
One day I go to bed smiling and I am still very hopeful for the future and what it can bring,
The canoe has a hole in it
Still we took it out so far
And travelled all the coves
No one is in the houses
Only buzzards flying above us
Time is owned by the trees
Take a look behind me now
see the patterns keep repeating
Round and round like a pinwheel
While there’s nothing wrong; it’s all benign
Seems the harsh hate of words I don’t mind
Out of focus
And dim of light,
I remember a boy,
no, young man is right.
The love of his youth
by his side.
Foggy memories of smiles
And eyes bright.
Just a Man
You may be just a man, but when you're before me
Your skin is marbled, your eyes are broken and jeweled
Caron
The name doesn’t fall from the tongue
But flows gently out to form a shinning effervescence that envelopes my mind.
And the scene surrounding me becomes misted.
Caron
One day you’ll be gone from this earth.
As you take your last dying breath you’ll think,
“Where was I all this time?”
You thought you found yourself
In a man who said he loves you.
You ask me for a moment of my time
Like you think I’ve made a shrine
Of our long-lost memories
Here you are asking for anniversaries
Like we didn’t break up a family
Been thinking too much about you
And its filling me with dread
My soul is screaming for its mate
Cant silence the noise in my head
You cut me deep once before
Im still trying to stop the bleeding
I’m sorry that destruction doesn’t take mercy on roses.
I’m sorry that some mistakes don’t
burn themselves out with smoke in their wake,
but rather spark and catch fire,
ravaging and burning and killing.
Demand my bones, their skin without
I dyed my hair then tore it out
My body begs for company
My mind can't silence all the screams
I would much rather rot in hell
Than put you under another spell
How often am I to swallow this wasps' nest?
My throat has been swollen since the first time
I misunderstood where honey came from.
Ironically, honey is the first thing I reach for
when I lose my voice.
I shouldn't have
I should have ignored you
As if I wasn't able to see you
I made a mistake
Now I understand that
I should have never set my eyes on you
Scorpions
and black widow spiders,
rattlers too,
lurking in dusty corners
these critters can kill-
but they do so quickly...
Whereas the workings
of the mind
can be more sinister,
I don't know when or where,
But I found myself uncertain
Wondering what could be if only...
If only I hadn't been there
If I had chosen differently would I be better,
smarter, kinder even.
I always regret,
Not for the fellows I met.
About my decision,
and my current position.
Frequently tortures me,
On whatever I see.
Time doesn't stop
Ran away beyond hope.
I yelled in the dark,
You were the one who held my hand,
You scooped me up and protected me.
On nights that I could no longer stand,
You would hold me until my crying stopped.
Metal rings placed
chains laced
around my
hands, legs, feet and waist.
How many times will I let this happen?
How many times can I let my family
be disgraced?
my guts are knotted uptwisted
i've been overthinking
my old nature of sin seeking
left my heart unwhole
and leaky
nerves got the best of me
anxiety
keeps my chest sinking
“Silence” he commanded
As he slapped my frozen face
I need a meal for my stomach
I have not eaten in days
Or perhaps it has been longer
Yes, I regret
The scornful dissipation
Of my salad days
When I was strong,
Believe me,
They didn’t last too long,
Believe me,
They didn’t last too long.
Yes, I regret
On your mark, get set
Let's go, regret!
Regret that you are here
Regret that you are near
Regret that time's no more
That's what regret is for.
Wish I had done this,
Wish I had done that.
With every word that comes out of my mouth
There is a string attached at the end
With the word "regret"
With every word that passes through my mind
It longs to be brought out
When you're rushing back and forth in desperation,You will find me
When you're so in over your head at night under your blanket,
Dear Regret,
Im trying to move on I really am.
I know we haven’t seen each other since that night in the ocean,
and we haven’t caught up since I stayed out till 4 am back in high school,
He kissed me
He took something
A first of many
Something I followed with a smile
To mask my fear
I didn’t feel any different
But I knew
Something was different
“You are getting suspended.”
Bravado’s walls crashed down,
from my eyes tears descended,
upon my head was placed a crown;
it was labeled regret,
Time and time again, we repeat,
To live previous lives,
We live and then weep,
We then warn and die,
But despite our best teachings,
Descendants are our kin,
there’s this girl i used to know.
her name flows blue inside of me-
she was so afraid to show,
who she once was in front of me-
Your world was in flames and mine caught fire
Now I'm dealing with the fact that you aren't here, I'm so tired
Of figuring out what went wrong and why we had to say goodbye
Who saw the kid in the clown suit? He was on the swingset.
An empty cup for change that nobody gave.
Who saw the kid in the three piece suit. He was on beach of lake michigan.
If I had the chance to do it again, I would never leave your side.
I would never lose sight of your face.
I would never say goodbye.
Acting out emotions may delve into extremities
Throwing knifes of truth
And bullets shredding thin
Ricochet
Ricochet
Ricochet
I could hear the wind,
rustling through your veins, when
you opened your mouth and the gnarled wings of a hummingbird fell out.
I could taste the regret,
deep breath, deeper, deeper yet, deeper than the ocean of your
eyes that keep calling me home, calling me back back to the
I envy their happiness
How they pull off those lies.
Wishing love
But truly dying inside.
Whenever they’re up close
It’s hard to focus on it sometimes
They way their greyness shows
there is another thing that I cant unseemy brother smilewhen he used to see me
he used to smilebut now its clouds
I hurt him so muchI cant even begin to describe what he could feel
"Lucy,
Lucy,
No."
She whispers to her hands.
She cries to the company.
We stare,
curiously,
judgementally.
And in the silence
i thought of you
of the words that never left your lips
the touch that never found my body
the air that never felt our dance
the wind that never heard our song
Do you know how scary it really isTo see a child begging for a mother’s kissBut you don't have the guts to tell him the newsHe'll never get it all be
I wish there was a restart button
Something to take me back in time
The idea of holding you again
And calling you mine
I would click the pause button
On the moments I missed,
Lost in a dream of who I used to be
Shuddering to think of what they see
Adrift in the ocean drowning in shame
As waves of sorrow silence my name
My soul weathered by the guilty air
A game, it started with,
To meet your lover in it was a myth.
The meeting was probably a coincidence,
Now it actually makes sense.
I met half of my identity,
One I've been searching for since infinity.
Cup of tea, dearie?
How is it?
I'm sorry he's gone, dearie.
You're better off without him.
I'm sorry too.
I'm sorry that you're gone now-
I'm sorry that you never
The moment that I met you I was yours from the start
You gave an irregular beat to my heart
Not only your beauty, but your aura was bright
Then I heard you sing, and I knew I was right.
I hesitate.
Replaying your comment in my head.
Say something.
Say anything.
Speak up.
Speak OUT.
But enough though I want to,
I don't say anything.
I don't.
It’s the devil in DISGUISE,
When you look into its eyes,
You become mesmerized.
An eater of souls and a dark cloud above,
At one point you thought it was LOVE.
You’d give up your LIFE just to have a TASTE.
What stories would old bones tell us?
What stories would they sing?
I can feel my soul screaming
But my head won't let it in
I wonder if it felt like this, Rome falling way back when.
I hope your husband treats you better
than your mom's boyfriend treated her.
I'm sorry I mentioned their violence when we fought-
a bad time to bring it up
but I guess I knew we were through.
Mother, please don’t go away.
You know how I love you…
I’m calling you, please answer me!
Please don’t go please not now!
Do you hear me calling?
i have made a huge mistake
i've made it and wish to take
all the pain i've caused away
either tomorrow or today
i don't want to drive away
the people in my life
but it isn't my first mistake
If heaven has a mailbox I would write a letter and this is what I would say.
I could see that pain and hatred in your eyes
The moment she spurned you as childish and unwise.
I know how it feels to be scorned and chastised.
I know how it feels to go against those baptized.
It’s easier
To say that
I substitute your lips
And your body heat
For marijuana and alcohol
But if we’re both being honest
We all took a flight of Fancy
towards the cliff of self-immolation.
I took my self-immolation for my darling Nancy
but she never took it, no rhyme or reason.
We fell into a spiral
Dear Nik,
Do you remember me?
Do you recognize me?
Sometimes I wonder
If you still think about me
The way that I
When I saw your face
It threw me for a whirl
Beautiful beyond words
Such a precious little girl/
Big blues eyes
Remind me of the morning skies
A soothing sunrise resides between your thighs/
Dear K,
Intoxicated were we, but intoxicating was your kiss,
the night we first expressed ourselves to each other.
Wrapped in your sweet embrace,
unaware of future regret.
I thought I loved you,
but I think I fell in love with the thought of you.
You kissed me with such passion,
and you told me things I know you had a hard time saying,
Flower child:
child of a flower child
and you've let your thorns grow wild
and I want to know why
Flower child,
was it something that I said?
Know that I wish I were dead
Dear [former] Best Friend,
I hope you've not forgotten memories
of childhood fun and fantasies. Dear heart,
do you remember we were sisters too?
Who once shared hurts, laughter, secrets? It seems
I try to speak,
The words of my heart,
Yet, they seem to turn to bitter ash,
And I choke on them,
Before they can touch,
The clean, outside air,
Dear Sam,
Sometimes I'm not sure if I miss you or the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure if I can live another second without feeling the way you made me feel.
Sometimes I'm not sure how you really made me feel.
Dear ------ -----:
"You just have to say it. Tell him. Trust me, you'll feel better."
I wonder if it's really that easy.
You are a
Worthless piece of shit
Who doesn't get a hint
Thinkin' that you repent
When all you did was reset
The time forward, expecting some respect--
Are you a fuckin' idiot?
Dear me, You’ll regret this you know.Letting time slip by;it’ll pass in a flash.You’re leaving soon. You’ll hate this you know.All these hours you workfor a chance at more school.You’ll be there soon. You’ll doubt this you know.The path you have c
You say you know what the world means
When you never know your silent screams .
The world is pretty with all to do
Where everyday there is something new .
But tell me this
Every time I had to deal with your altitude
Every single problem ranges in amplitude
Breaking my barrier with your end behavior
There she sits in the corner, alone
She is surrounded by nothing but blank, white, walls.
With her tear stained face, she has lost all her faith.
She will stay there with nothing to give and nothing to take
Dear regret,
You are the keeper of every
Disappointment in my life,
Of all the times I wish that I
Had stopped to think first and
Dear Old Me,
Hello back there.
It's me, your future self.
Go sit down,
Prepare to frown
But know it won't last long.
I know you are
So innocent,
Though you may be rotten.
God why can’t I talk fluently to others?
My words become indistinct, just fragments
In my head their fervour cause a shutter
An impact captivating like a comet
Dear You, I'm Sorry.
Based on A True Story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear 12-Year-Old-Me,
Fifth grade begun while our life ended.
Not quite literally,
But when freedom is sacrificed,
What is the point of living?
Dear 12-Year-Old-Me,
Fifth grade begun while our life ended.
Not quite literally,
But when freedom is sacrificed,
What is the point of living?
i've already been where you're going
and I had forgotten about that place
until you came into my life
and I saw your sunkissed face
I want to tell you slow down
but I don't want to seem tame
As I wait for you, I hear the rain.I wonder if I'll ever see you again.You left months ago.
Dear Moonchild,
You Will Never Break Me.
I knew I was playing the game
I signed up for it the moment you texted me.
I miss the smell of alcohol on your breath,
The haze of smoke in the air around us,
The half smirk you always have curled up on the left side of your mouth,
That girl Susie.She came in school today.Those kids pushed her around the hallway.They threw her books into the pond,Out the window,And in the woods.
You were a fucked up kid, so was I
Because of you
No problem; mom she did everything she could
You should've used a condom
But no; I'm blessed and love the people in my life
You can't screw up that too
To whom it may concern,
Actually, you’re the one that should be concerned.
I would say your name but even when I call on your name
You still don’t listen.
You left me unread
Staring, waiting, dreading.
You disappeared,
But always whispered
"I'm here"
Where?
"Everywhere, but nowhere"
A word,
A spark in the dark.
A touch,
A first cry
Kick, scream, squirm
Pain for joy
Feather-weight in embrace
Delicate and fragile
Precious and treasured
Adoring eyes look up
Faded, glassy orb stare
Limbs twitch and collapse
People are cameras with infinite memory
I wish I could delete half of mine
I've seen too much and said way to little
And sometimes I wish I had remembered to turn off the screen
I should have hit pause
When I said hello, I really meant"Can I trust you?"When I said let's talk politics, I really meant"Let's test you."When I
With my heart pumping, sweat pouring
I opened my eyes and slightly swayed
There he was, head tilted and smiling
Silent and waiting for my control to decay
I shook my head and continued to fade
There are softballs in my mouthWhen I look at youEach thought is another home run right into my front teethIt's supposed to be easier to say these wordsBecause I'm a girlI'm supposed to be open with my emotions
I see the pain in your eyes and I remember the day
Our friendship ended, and I turned you away.
We never held hands, yet our souls intertwined.
Our hearts melded together; yours and mine.
Stolen from the sunrise
Whispered by the moonlight
Never remembered but by a
Steady heartache and the
Secret guilty thought
Somewhere faraway
They plead for your sake;
i remember
i sat there, in my cold seat along the last row
you were there, a building and a world away
the thought of you suddenly plagued my mind
i knew i just had to write something about you
It's worse to think about it.
Knowing there is a better way,
Yet continuing not to improve.
It's easier to be passive,
Its more relaxing to just be in the moment.
And not think
About-
Remember dancing, tasting the present,
It as fleeting as our movements and our feet
Remember hugging, each other on days of sorrow,
Freeing feelings caged underneath
Our skin
When I learned the truth my heart was broke
So worked up I thought I would choke
I was filled with anger and many different emotions
My mind was nothing but commotion
In an effort to save whatever we had
She sits in her room everyday,
Making plans and hoping.
She sits in her room as the seasons start to change...
Spring to Summer,
Summer to Fall,
Fall to Winter...
On and on,
She doesn’t know the little things I do.How I wait up for her,The way I look at her,Or.. my feelings towards her.
Love,
E.
What love did I have to give
But the letters L O V E
Strung together with threads of Indifference?
America pledged a sugar coated liberty
To sweeten such bitter remorse.
Yet her heart burned by trepidity
When she hid her wounds with words.
She sang a twisted song,
Her lyrics laced with dread
The soft tender touch of a lover,The hushed whispers from one to another.The beauty of a now stranger lingers in your mind,The faint smell of Lilac lets you unwind.The taste of your tears cascading down your cheek,Her gentle kisses leave you weak.
There was once a chance I didn’t take,
She had brunette hair and a pair of brown eyes,
She had a slim figure and a contagious smile,
And I liked her.
When I talk to you..
Yes, I get butterflies.
But they're not the happy, fluttery, lovey butterflies that people get...
They're more of the kind of butterflies people get when they know they're lying..
I locked myself in an abyss of madnessAnd all I know here is nothing but sadnessI'm balancing on a fine line between madness and insanity
In my years I have done so many thingsHurt so many peopleCaused so much troubleIt was never intentionalI never meant to hurt anyone like thatLike I didTo make them cry
There's an intangible outside force that consumes me.
It's dark, fierce, and rugged.
I become enveloped by it, wrapped in its jaws, as I aimlessly fall into its deep, boundless abyss.
There's an intangible outside force that consumes me.
It's dark, fierce, and rugged.
I become enveloped by it, wrapped in its jaws, as I aimlessly fall into its deep, boundless abyss.
You put me on my knees and I sob to God
"Please"
This poem isn't any different than the ones before
It's about how I love you
Something I can never ignore
It's about how you love him, too
Even the happiest times are melancholy without you.
Even the sunniest days are dark without you.
Even the warmest blankets are cold without you.
Even the fullest rooms are empty without you.
I was born in the same generation as you,
lucky enough to meet you.
I was lucky enough for you to move to my town.
You visited me in the summer,
lucky enough for you to care.
Every smile without you is an empty one.
Every laugh without you isn't worth it.
Every step without you is heavy.
Every breath without you hurts.
Every day without you is wasted.
One, two, three
let me lay in bed and count.
four, five, six
the mistakes I've made with you.
seven, eight, nine
I would take them all back.
ten, eleven, twelve
each one just as bad as the last.
Do you know about his dimpled cheeks,
His crooked grin,
or his chocolate gaze that dare matches yours,
Do you know he calls me baby,
just like you did,
if i could tell you one thing
i would tell you
that i was sorry
really sorry,
aching chest sorry
and i would tell you to love yourself
I am a girl of six
Playing with bones and stones and sticks
Wondering if words will ever stick
Not knowing that in a decade, I’ll be lonely and sick
I am a girl of ten
The fight is over.
I’m sinking like a stone before the tide.
The Heroes have gone
The fight is over
But still the beckoned rhythms of your voice call my name.
Love
Euphoric, Naive
Beaming, Dreaming, Falling
Team, People, Person, Withdrawal
Yelling, Crying, Annulling
Hysterical, Unfeeling
While my heart does bleed
For new life never born
My mind does heed
The pain of a mother torn
The decision to forestall
Life's seed to full bloom
Is a powerful anguish
of hellish gloom
What mind enlightened of God
Could reconcile a forsaken entrustment...
To guardian the yet unborn?
What eye that sees by Light
Could blind itself this darkest deed?
How did this come to be?
Like the bird
that forgets to fly,
I am grounded, without purpose.
I shout below, why?
To know again,
In love, an infatuation, as deep and rich
as love can ever get… but I couldn’t make any words
come out.
I had trouble breathing.
I wander throughout the world
in a chain of my own making
A chain for which I cannot escape
A chain that I drag
from continent to continent.
I made the chain
Link by link
Had I known that I would't make it around the corner,
I would have stopped.
I would have held that strap close,
Like it was my best friend,
Like it could protect my fragile ears
A life of regret
Feeling regret over even the smallest things
It all builds up and makes the weight on one's chest heavier
Closer to having the strength to overtake you
REGRET is poison.
SAFETY is the spoon we drink it from.
We ask,
How do you live a full life?
A life without regret?
Can they see the sin embedded in the depths of my skin?
Are they able to hear my repentance crying out like a firstborn without stretched wanting hands?
It was what nobody suspect,
And denial begins,
Because how could a girl like me
Who has everything
Fall into this pit of darkness?
Is it really my fault
That I may be depressed?
Just when I think i've had enough you pull me right back in,
Oh, how your fingers on my skin are almost as sweet as your wicked kiss.
Honey, why do you stay with her when you dream of me?
No more, shall i wait for thee.
last night
you came to me
your mouth spewing
endless lies and unforgivable apologies
last night
you came to me
with those daring three words
oh
how you tried so hard
But no,
I won't listen to the way
Your heart breaks ever so softly.
The way it hits the ground like fresh snow,
Shattering everyday.
The way it ticked off-key
Was enough to incite anger
In the dreary nights
Dark forests home
Cold woods in the night
No rest, alone
The regret, it bites
Heavy like stone
To the dreary plight
I now succumb
So dank to drink
you hear the wind breezing through the forest around you
and the crickets chirping almost mournfully in déja vu
finally you hear a horn screaming
Never
I never thought
ever
That I'd be sitting now
Where you once sat
Never did I think I'd speak
Those same inflamatory words
That spread like wildfire in my neurons
Never, no, not once
My life can be broken down
Into seconds, minutes and hours
Counting away the days, weeks, months and years
Frozen
In my mind
They remind me of my agony
The silent screams for help and love
It is midnight again and I don’t know how to last another minute.
I crush my head between my hands and try to squeeze them out,
Should I call them nightmares?
Should I call them dreams?
Wrinkled edges and dog-eared pages,
Smudges from the swift stroke of a careless hand ―
Crispy remnants of a poem spaghetti-stained
In the dusty suburbs of a forgotten Mississippi town,
An old man waters his lawn-
Watching
Watering
Watching
The neighbor kids, how they run with such agility.
Coveting
Craving
Coveting
I just gave you the link to my account.
I'm hoping you don't hate me for this.
But I wouldn't blame you if you did.
To say I was hurt would be an understatement...
For the first time in so long
I feel
Pure.
I feel brand new.
It's truly amazing .
I regret everything.
Once upon a time
in the lavender fields
shone a sun in the deep blue sky.
But even deeper was the blue
that shone in that sun's
ocean-deep periwinkle eyes.
As it kissed my face
I didn't know
Until now
That you
Were gone
It took me
Six months
To find out
And I was
Speechless
I had nothing
To say
I didn't cry
But somehow
Through the feathers of a bird
Flow the words I once have heard
Always, in the air
Infinite despair
But now my memory has blurred
I felt as if the world stopped and shattered. I felt a pang of regret and sadness. I didn't regret being here with you or telling you that I care about you. I regret the way it happened.
Biting back tears
Holding in gasps
Choking on sadness
And sorrow
Falling in traps
Knowing it would happen
Faking joviality
But in the end
It was hopeless
Your heart is breaking
Author's Note: This was a poem written by Catrina Sable, a good friend of mine, and myself. Enjoy!
Two girls that feel alone
Lost in their head
Replaying the battles,
Hearing the never ending screams,
You are a disease
Infesting the corners of my mind
Rotting my perception of others
Lingering in the darkest places
It seemed logical at the time.
But now I stare at the scars,
Demonized by those around me.
To them each one is ugly,
To them each one is alienating.
To them each one is my insanity.
Over the clouds, radience I see;
Under the radience, a nest;
Over the nest, a fire set on the tree;
Under the tree, a hunterat his best;
Over the hunter, a need to flee;
Under the fear, the end of his quest.
i called you babe
last night in a dream
you stuttered but said love
what do you need?
and made me your heart
and i felt whole again
by being just yours
every hair on end
you took my hand
You're nothing, but a low life, not even wondering where all the bad went, but she is.
She's nothing, but a low life, loved with all her heart, and still failed to be faithful.
The Father awakened from a hibernation.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father awakened from a jubilation.
The Father awakened to a situation.
Hard work, you can get anywhere if you have it
It is something you have to admit
And if you commit
Surely you will be happy
And I can bet
I’m letting go of my regret
Having vacuumed away the filth
From the one whom left my eyes wet;
Now I shall return to good health,
Right?
I still feel this hole;
I really tried not to love you
I tried to find other joys in life instead
but you stuck around,
and not once did you leave my head
You and me
Were never meant to be
All the memories
Make me forget how to breathe
I can’t even look at myself
because I’m not sure if I’m me
I HANG my head low
And shake it with shame
How will I live with what I have done
Can count on my fingers how many people Will forgive me
Here I sit with perpetual pain and misery
It hurts….My heart
i always wanted you to call me "princess",
but i was too afraid to ask-
and now you call her "princess",
and you don't call me back.
so dress her in your finest-
make her pretty in pink,
My heart is dancing on a razor's edgeSplitting painfully in twoI nearly don't, but almost doRegret the truth I told to you
There are some things I just knowThoughts come fast and thoughts come slowEvery thought of you twists into meLove's everlasting agony
As the days go by, this arduous feeling grows.
As I lay there, I can picture your faces in the patches of the sky.
Dark and grey, I begin to feel your tears run down my face,
It was time for me to let go.
As I am looking into the distance,
With the abundance of time,
I can't help but think of the impact
My memories have had on my mind.
As am I watching, I wish that
some of those moments,
I don’t mind that we went our separate ways
it was bound to happen anyway
I don’t mind the awkward feeling when we’re with mutual friends
The next logical step, now that I’m on a deserted island, is to kill myself.
Plunge into the water and sink onto part of a marine shelf.
After all, how long can I last here?
Depression kills –
anybody vulnerable enough to be hurt;
anybody conscious of his imperfections;
anybody who hid behind a fake ego.
And the very few who give importance to this issue,
The Sailor who callously masses the storm faults at the hand of God
As he inadvertently veils the damage to the stern, the responsibility is forgot.
She said she's sorry that she made him ashamed
To be vulnerable and open
Since she's been living that way
It was imparted on she, so to him she did the same
She never knew that the girl that she wanted to be
Something that I can't live without is the idea that my child knows I love her, and that I'm sorry.
I was 23, too young to be
Your mother
Living a life
Wild and free
Reckless, like any other
He has decisions from his past that he regrets. A time machine. Maybe if he makes a time machine, then he can change what he has done.
baby girl I see you got the finest ass too bad you ain't got no class your lack of education shows desperation you seek for fame instead of self gratification.
Who am I, what am I?
Why do I feel so empty?
The tears, they sting my eyes.
Why do I feel so alone?
"Anger, Wisdom, Regret, Pain,
They think my life is just a game
I can't stand another minute
But if I fold now I'll be defeated
Their torture stings like a thousand knives
But I can't trust these awful lies
I don’t want to die
Not for the pain, but for the loss
I don’t want my absence to leave a gap in the cosmic fabric
I don’t want my family to leave flowers at a marble cross
I don’t want to die
He’s fading
Ever so slowly
In my dreams he is
But a silhouette
Sometimes he has
The faintest of color
His laugh on a
It must feel great that your life has a soundtrack
Forget responsibilities, you'd rather sit back
Relax, just be a character not claiming any agency
How are you your own side role? Wake up, you ain't no baby
To be set freefrom this guilt,
I couldn't helpbut cry for you
Every day and nightfor I couldn't save you
From the clutches of Death.I only want that to be rewinded
I used to stop and smell the flowers
But now I just pass them by
I always long to stop
But I never do.
Once I got hurt
I realized nature bites.
If I could, I'd go back
Took another step lower
As always trying to find that empty comfort
What is he looking at, through those dust covered shades?
The trees grow heavy with color and so does his heart
What if I were to give my passion to thee?
Unbound the chains to these iron gates and watch it flee,
Overgrown with vine and darkness I cannot break free,
I have always known why you could not see me for me,
I stare into her eyes and they tell me all I need to know
but I ask anyways
Why do you push me away?
Why do I feel the way I do when I hold you?
Just once more, I want to see
That smile you used to give me
Sitting there silently
Pondering life reflectively
When I sat next to you
You told me stories that seems untrue
Her father found herWide awake, not asleepIn her bed, curled up.So, he asked her,"What are you doing?"She turned to himAnd smiled brightly, saying,"I'm waiting for my wings."
I called a thousand times last night
But you were never there
I wore my voice out crying
But I know that you don't care
What happened to the kingdom
We built from blood and ash
My entire life
There's been a ghost following me
The ghost of a child
That I used to be
The ghost of a fool
Naive and unaware
Hey it's me, your son.
You see Mom,
Jesus.
I'm sorry Mom.
Oh God, I didn't mean to do this mom.
I've got time for this last call, and it went straight to voicemail.
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
My heart was consumed by lust
My heart ate up by desire
My heart burned upon a pyre
Love is lost, kindness gone
my eyes stretch the horizon...
the cigarette burns quicker as I drag the smoke deeper in my lungs
I ponder the events of this week
my wanderings, where are you?
Lana Del Rey’s voice
Singing to me as I write
Haunting me with memories
Of all of the hopeless nights
I spent wiping my mind of you
Erasing all of the memories
The happy endings that never existed
I shouldn't have listened
to what everyone was saying.
I shouldn't have doubted
what I didn't have in writing.
I knew deep down
that they were wrong,
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I scream
I'm sorry I threaten
I'm sorry it's easier for me to lie and say "I hate you"
Broke my arm
after he stomped on me,
then I went home
And was called a freak.
I faked a smile
Around my friends.
Then cried alone
waiting for it all to end.
We absent mindedly wonderThrough our sad livesAll being dragged underHoping we're the one swho survives
I had a baby.
Almost.
I had an almost baby.
An almost life of diapers, bottles, little fingers and toes.
I almost chose that.
Almost.
little girl playing in rain puddles
herding fussy ducklings under rainy sky
raincoat swish-swish
wellies squeak and slurp
hungry beasts
gold hair, bright eyes
clueless and naive.
I'm walking on
All alone
A fire blazes within
Every touch causing pain
Ashes all around me
Smoldering embers surround me
Remnants of my bridges burned
And what was a powerful blaze
I can't turn it off, that goddamn alarm
continuously sounding as I lay here
Each "beep" saying your name
Pounding in the realization
That you won't be there
to hold me,
to fix me,
She stood there poised with the dagger pointing directly at her heart... The spot that was now void because she hurt the man she never had intention of hurting. She stood there tears in her eyes waiting to see if he would arrive to stop her...
This will not be another poem about how my heart is so broken, how lost I feel, the pathetic string of hope I'm secretly holding on to, or how I've been numbing myself just so I won't have to feel the emptiness.
At the edge of my bed,
A close friend creeps,
His gibbers and gabbers fill my head,
The way he speaks is quite bleak,
I'd not mind it if he wasn't two years dead.
I sit and think,
Unaware of my surroundings,
And could not speak.
For I could not believe,
What I already know to be true.
"So what are you?" A question too familiar
Years ago my mind would halt, frozen
My heart would pound. "I do not know"
I did not want to know.
"Are you Asian?" Your ignorance now shows
I felt comfortable, still, and ready
While I sat with my mind set and steady.
Citrus Sit. Rep.April 7th, 2014Track and field thoughts – you’ve been running through my mind all day,and it hit me like a shot put when I watched you run-the-fuck-away.
Everyone is so obsessed with virginity. They ask:
Are you still a virgin?
How come?
You're not?
Who'd you lose it to?
When? Where?
How? But I ask back
I miss your arms around my waste.
I miss your lips on my neck.
I miss the moments I can't erase.
I want to take it back.
I can't forget that night.
As I laid crying, you held me.
It ended tonight,all the happieness has left my soul.
it is about time that you all left me alone.
Dear sweet Philip
I am the one to blame.
A knife held close
next to my shame.
Had you kept quiet
So would’ve my blade...
Wait!
I see a man,
I was wondering...
1. Do I really only have two followers who are interested in talking to me?
2. Do I not post enough?
3. Do I seem like a nuisance?
4. Am I one?
Do I dare call upon what may be fair?
That I am only a constructive fraud.
The smell of blood lingers in the night air,
And I am left by love and lost to God.
This I that may take blame for Banquo's death,
It's 12 o'clock,
Midnight,
And the world is sound asleep.
Little girls dream of princesses and baby dolls
While little boys dream about video games and basketball.
Babies close their eyes to play with angels,
--Drive Safe!
--I will!
The words are said without a thought
No meaning given to the promise
--I will!
Hands at 10 and 2
Shift to drive
Turn right toward school
--I will!
"Fireworks" you murmured
That summer afternoon
Wrapped in your arms on the couch
A kiss that ended so soon
It was my first with you
Beforehand didn't matter
Why must we sustain ourselves and reframe ourselves to bes the perfect image of what others defines as perfect?
He loved me once
Everyday he told me so.
Anytime of the day it didn't matter.
Right there beside me or
There in the middle of the day.
space between us grew bigger and bigger
You remember the night we met?
I wasn't 18 yet.
You said felt like you knew me
And how next to me you felt so groovy.
The second I saw you
I knew you were the one.
She felt the morning passing by,
Sun lifted up in midday-sky.
She heard the bluebirds start to sing,
Oh what a frail, miraculous thing!
Yet all these subtle presents missed,
Remind me why we can’t try this again.Now that we know what’s at stake,we won’t make the same mistakesand if we do, we’re done for good, the end.But at least we’ll know what could have been
Your eyes used to be so bright
They looked straight forward
Unnerving but more alive than all those around you,
They used to look so colorful and awake
What changed you?
Was it the people?
Ive hidden from connection for so long, kept my distance from people to supposedly save my soul
But when I look back ive only hurt my self because all of them have moved on I am here still disconnected
Nothing to say
The winds of October have come,
and blow off the calloused skin,
flaking to fallen leaves of red,
I'm 19
I'm 19, male
I'm 19, male, hispanic
I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars
I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars, I have feelings
I'm 19, male, hispanic, I have scars, I have feelings, and I love deeply
There she goes, pure as snow,
Just trying to get by in life.
Here you come, mean as a thug.
So eager to dim her bright light.
I see the sneer upon your face,
That devilish little grin.
With my backpack slugged over my shoulder and my face set to a grimace, I walk through the hallway dodging bodies left and right. I yell in my head things I shouldnt say and I keep my eyes to the ground to not draw any attention to myself.
Is it still just a game—?
When you’re holding me close underwater
And I’m wondering how long you’ll let me wait
Before I turn around to see you face to face
In the dark, alone and falling
I have failed.
I was not strong enough.
I was supposed to break the chains,
Eradicate my burden.
I merely shifted the weight to make it easy to carry.
The chains still wound fast around my heart.
I am running, hiding from the relentless grip of REALITY
But no matter what I do or where I go, it always seems to catch up with me
It drugs me and runs through my veins
How can you expect me to be okay,
When you won't give me a reason?
For the pain, the anger, and the dismay,
That you caused for me.
This empty black pit,
You have created within me,
“I had a family once,” muttered the old man through his gruff and straggled beard, in the tone bearing the remnants of a great tragedy that ripped out a piece of him, strewn across the desert and left to dry.
Never shall I forget that day which caused me to live painfully in regret.
Never shall I forget the hideous guilt that built up inside me unremittingly.
You everything I hoped you would not becomeAnd nothing like you promised you would not be
But now, you live within me
I never told myself that I would wait
Nothing against the people that do
It’s actually a good character trait
But it’s over, it’s done, I did it with you
And now a little part of me feels somewhat consumed
If only I could turn back time,
I'd go back to when you were mine.
If only it were that simple.
Even then you didn't belong to me,
But I believed in the possibility.
There was a chance,
i don't know how to do this
my mind is black
just want to give in
thoughts are running through my head
We were two minds into oneYour fight was mineMy tears shed through your eyesWe believed that our strings would never be cutUntil I shredded it to peices and walked away
I live with Regret
I breathe her
I touch her
I feed her
She haunts me every night
I wake up wanting to die
And fall back asleep
Into that good night
A day recedes, I'll chase down one more nightA lamed and hobbling Spring tries to outrun the tideof all the misspent monthsand all this wasted time
We’re just friends,
She laughs, smiles, talks with me.
We’re just friends!
We’re just friends,
I laugh, smile, talk with her.
We’re just friends!
It is rare that a man
Can come to terms with
Surrender.
It is in a unfair waisteland
that a man can make
sense of these thoughts that
will hinder.
Its uncomprehensible that
A life full of regret is the wrong attitude
The remorse, the emptiness, the solitude.
Dont crater, don't break
You are made to bend
Just continue to smile, my love to you I send
one, moment that changed our lives.
as you told me the news
Holding my hand
Two seconds for it to sink in
I let the tears fall
three days before you left
walking away from us leaving
The hollow persists in the space you've wrapped aroundBut the inner circle containsEmptiness, loneliness, painLike the drip, drip, dripThe flow from my brainIt never turns off, never goes, never slows
Make Me ForgetKiss me so that I forget what his lips taste likeTouch me so I no longer feel him
Why must
you make me suffer?
One error and I am faulty?
Why do you uproot my regret
and prevent me from my blossom?
Even the most delicate rose
has its thorns, and you still
I’m not a machine.
I make mistakes.
Hell, even a computer makes mistakes.
But unlike their errors, I don’t need
you to fix mine. I am my own
programmer. Making the necessary
I lost that timeworn, white gold wedding band, the one that represented a broken purity that we as humans have destroyed.
I lost my stern father’s posh shutter lens FujiFilm and for a while we lost track of time between then and now.
Wait.
You have a problem with the way I dress?
The way I pronounce my words or treat other women with respect?
IT’S A girlThe three deadliest words in the world.So many keep disappearing just because of the flip of the coin.
thoughts are racing
chasing the ideas of splendor away
not because it's undesired
but because it won't remain
it won't stay contained
exposed like a pose of darkness
a silhouette in the distance
Shame on regret ; I shouldn’t have said that .
Heavy is the guilt upon my back .
Shame on regret.
My womb consumes itself from the inside out.
I know that you're the one for me hidden by surprise I couldn't see yes its true I stand alone talking to the moon as it look me in the eye like it's going to talk back
She told me last night
A whisper on the porch
Her face was a smile,
Masking her tears.
I wanted to scream
I wanted to hold her tight
And tell her it would be ok.
I wanted to throw something
Bleeding heart, full of rhythm.Ignorant thoughts, surely miss them.Slowly fading, insanity's close.Lack of substance like a ghost.Sick in the head, full of regret.Thoughtless acts I'll never forget.
I guess "surprised" is putting it mildly,
but I can't quite explain how I felt
when I found out my old roommate had died
by herself in the middle of the night.
She was only here for a month
As we stand back and watch,
Our chances slip away;
We think that there will always be
Another time, another day.
Changing../ It's all changing.../ It seems as if everything, has to change./ Nothing can ever stay the, same./ But if I could change, anything.../ I couldn't choose./ I'd h
If I could I would;
I would take it all back.
Clarify exactly what I meant.
How I truly felt.
I would of never shown any weakness.
I would of never been so open.
Pain and love
I wish I could separate the two but I don’t want to
Because sometimes this pain is the only thing connecting me to you
The distance doesn’t matter because the pain is always the same
Was life worth living?
Was it worth to mimic visions of myself just to fit in?
Was it worth speaking for the first time?
Was it worth ranking up my education just to be clowned?
Sitting here 2 years after
I still feel empty without your laughter,
We werent ready, we were just kids,
But if i could go back, id want you to live
You deserved life, and all that this world has in store
I lurk in the darkI am your fear, your regret, your worryActing like a judgemental jury
I slink around in the pits of your heartGnawing on your soulMaking you pay your toll
You say you want to get to know me better.
You want me to open up,
Spill my guts,
Tell you my secrets,
Give you my heart.
If only I could.
I stood there, frozen.
Time seem to stand still,
As I stood there, looking down at you.
Nothing in my life ever prepared me for this.
I distinctly remember the sound,
The sound of the body bag being unzipped.
I remember the day,
Back when it was all games,
Back when nothing was gray
And all you had to learn were names.
The years went by,
The classes got harder.
I feel as if I knew every inch of your being.
Your soul, dark like your lies.
Your smile, as white as the lies you tell.
Your eyes, once as deep as the ocean, now as deep as the trench where you threw our love away.
Put Down the Gun
You know something completely safe
If trained and used right
Or something dangerous that might end a life
So put down the gun
You think I'm crazy
You're driving you say
I thought that I had a hard life.
Two parents that loved me, but they always told me what to do.
I thought to myself… “I’m grown! I know it all and I don’t need you!”
humans are selfish
all to the core
whether they show it
matters not one bit at all
sure some care
but they're a bore
humans can dis
if they dare
always seeking more
Music Is My Life,
Let The Lyrics Be My Spirit,
The Melody's My Emotion,
So I'm Hoping That You Hear It,
Music Is My Passion,
To That I'm Truly Dedicated,
I've Been Chasing My Education,
At time like this,
I clench my teeth so that the tears don't fall.
When I hear the words that come out of your mouth,
I feel useless, incompetent...
Like a dead weight.
Sometimes I wish I hadn't been born.
Fire cackles, shadows dancealong the walls ina twisted waltz with the smokethat storms your lungs and ashthat tastes like death on your tongueyour hair and clothes singed off
On the rooftop of a closed shop,
He thought hops to her tube top.
Nonstop they both spit swap,
And the next prop is the countertop.
Him on top,
Again nonstop,
Until the condom pops,
I do not know what she is to me.
I cannot say how I feel.
She’s like a pebble stuck in the back of my mind.
How can I tell her how I feel?
With my body pressed close against her frame,
She made her way through the treacherous grass forest. Step after step, she journeyed as quickly as her short legs could take her.
He’s never around for long
But always there when needed.
Whistling the same song
He triumphs, forever undefeated.
A heavy soul
Dressed in all black.
Always wearing the same leather jacket,
A hero in his prime
But he was built to high this time
That should have been the sign
That he would fall
A wife and kids he had
All they needed was a dad
But left alone and sad
Looking up into the sky
into the endless blue
seeing all the clouds passing by
the green balloon bright and new
The little girl was shining with glee
this was pur happiness
You Wish You Can Take Back That Clit Clat
BUT when The Clip Claps...
Bodies Go SPLIT SPLAT
Mothers Screaming
Kids Crying
You Just Had To RISK THAT ?
I remember you.
Those eyes you have are like fire. They haunt me, yet I cannot bring myself to take my own eyes off of the impossible flame of yours.
tears shed through our eyes of innocence all of which we cannot see
our passion and demon minds have not yet to perish
but grow a stronger flame
our thoughts so powerful and true its a beautiful tragedy we live in
Ever gave someone your all and felt like its not enough. when you cry at night and feel like no one understands. and its like you been on the same rollercoaster so many times. and your tired but the more you try to get off the harder it gets.
I had a friend, whose name was Sam
Sam was always smiling
He went driving one day, and then BAM!
The car was flying, flipping, and rolling
Sam had received a text on his phone
Our eyes meet,
Just a glance.
Yet the butterflies
Continue to dance.
Hands touch,
Just a second
Yet my heart
Still feels beckoned.
Just a crush,
Just a crush.
I need money, and i say this with all seriousness.
I need money, I am alone in this world
I have no home in this world
will i beg, no, but i will ask, please give me a dollar,
will you give no, because you assume.
I never knew something something so small could eat me alive.
The memories drift by and I begin lose my mind
because I’ve lost time trying to find a sign.
I go to those moments that I wish I could take back.
She glances at the clock,
As it flashes eleven twelve.
She sighs once again,
As she places another notebook on the shelf.
Through another clover patch,
She searches for a wish.
Her efforts to no avail,
You can never forget.
In everything you see,
Every where you look,
You'll always see me.
Every day, every hour,
Every minute, every second,
I am there, more haunting
Then you reckoned.
Get up, run, shower,
school is in an hour.
Wait...
No! My clock is slow.
Sh*t. I'm screwed. I gotta go.
Throw powder on my face,
hope my mascara is in place,
grab my keys, sprint out the door,
I am writing this poem to get a scholarship, you guys have some extra cash and I need a lot of it.
I’ve made mistakes, yes it’s truePunished for life inside this tombMy growing fear has spelled my doomAlone forever, yes it’s true Punished for life inside this tombNo one hears me, yes it’s trueAlone forever, yes it’s trueMoved from box to box by
The night creeps up
and it stings because
it reminds me of the things
that we used to mutter and sigh,
laugh and cry
to each other.
The daylight shines out our pain,
Oh, but the night,
His muscular shoulders were hunched over, head bowed, and hands tightly clasped together.
In the darkness of the room
I hear your still, cold breaths
I hold a candle light infront of my broken body
I uncover the mask you hide behind
Discovering something wild
You are standing there
She was thinking about windows
The window in Mr. McClellan’s bedroom that Tom had shattered playing catch
With those older boys down the street.
The windows in her own house
That could use a good scrubbing.
I was an ass.
I was shy but an ass.
When I worked up the courage to talk,
all this gross undeserved arrogance would spill out like:
"I'm probably smarter than you."
Who is to say what a win or a loss is?
I believe the magnitude of the win should be measured like beauty
Only in the eye of the beholder, should it be judged.
I feel something warm and wet sliding down my face
I want to sit up, but I seem to be stuck in place
I've never imagined such a blinding pain
The cool ground beneath me is keeping me somewhat sane
wasting time
watching the sun set into
a blood red sky
feel the dry atmosphere
take my life
saving (G)grace
taking the time to drive out
my fears and shame
He has been walking along this blinding, stony path for quite some time.
The sun strains his eyes, and the stones hurt his feet.
Every so often, he trips along his way.
Every so often, he stays down where falls.
Bursting with opportunity,
The world is but a door
Hiding potential, sheltering hope
At the mercy of those within
Some individuals prevail
The ones harboring power
Opening doors
A life lived without regret,
Is a life not lived at all.
To live is to lose things,
Never to have lost, Well
Is never to have really lived.
The soul of a man is not hindered by regret,
Individuality is a rarity
We live in a world of carbon copies
Of mass productions
A world where uniqueness is taken for granted
And similiraty is highly evident
I raise up my sword
I lay down my dreams
Captured without word
Free falling, it seems
You drift from my life
And leave behind scars
No knowledge of strife
Or mem'ries that mar
Never will it do to lieAbout how fully that you've caught my eyeNow you've gone; I can do naught but sighForever gone; I can do naught but dieBraver ones will surely tryTo win you with winking, and batted eye
The sun falls across your faceCasting your eyes to the gold of Summer's last daysSomehow, by God's good graceI knew you for a while and will remember you always
Blood drippingLegs closedArms coveredFeelings exposed
Hearts racingWounds unhealedMorbid thoughtsLips are sealed
Alone AloneYou left againA knife in my backIgnorant men
Once a girl was happy, light, and loved.
She was white and beautiful and shown like a dove.
she never did anything wrong, only did what was right.
she learned it’s not okay to be colorful here, only white.
Yesterday is gone my dear friend,
it has already come to an end.
With all its blunders and its tears,
follies,defeats and other fears.
The endless tears you may have wept,
When I look around
I see conformity.
We try to be the same
to maintain
a sense of normalcy
but it just constricts
our voices.
The world is closing in
around us,
Quivering souls, shivering soles.Icy hands, icy feet. I see the sun peeking through the trees, I see a gun leaking endlessly. Skull it holds, bullet holes.
if you never stop questioning what you're toldwhat you're shownwhat you're guaranteedwhat you're spoon-fed by the hand ofstingyswinishshrewd and slybusinessmenwell that's half the battle.
Its something we have to come to terms with
We see it face to face day by day
But we dont realize it becasue until we have completed the maze that has us going a new way.
Aching, screaming
Shortness of breath,
Begging, pleading
Wanting to cheat death
Bargains, promises
It will happen no more,
If only time froze
And would rewind to before.
The reason is simple.
It’s not black and white.
My pen is drawn to paper with ease
For once, my mind is free.
Words flow to and fro.
I write for emotion.
My feelings run with every thought.
Words that are for the wisdom we choose to seek
Predators circle its prey until its last breath
Dictators watch as it its it solemn flesh
Stuck in one’s mind of the already decided
So many struggle to find reason for their lives
So many struggle to go on
So many struggle
Yet so many miss on the simplest joys in life
So many regret their past sins
So many live in their failures
The tears were streaming
down my face,
happy thoughts
I could not retrace.
I stare up at
my computer screen,
social media
can be so mean.
I type my goodbyes
I saw you, throwing flames at things that shine.
You could have hit the fence and set the neighbor’s car up in smoke, instead of the dynamite
He will regret leaving...
He will regret abandoning me... for her.
Pain will be his constant companion...
I will regret also...
I never thought it would come to this
I knew I should’ve told you
I just wanted to give you that one sweet kiss
From the moment I approached you
I knew
This is what I had to do
Now that you’re gone
Stare into the seamless skies
I recognize
How close I came
Gaze into where I belong
I cannot help
But feel the change.
(chorus)
Why can't
You hear
My voice
The interpretation of a world without pain.
Angels would sing
The light of their song reaching brave to bold
Young and the old
Of a new hope rising!
The angelic decree of the heavenly beasts
the days for her are getting more easy she never thought that time passing by would be this breezyhe now knows as the days drag onthat its only harder with her gone
Every day I wonder what I should say.
When I see him, my hands start to tremble.
His eyes hypnotize me and sweep me away.
Everything I say comes out in a mumble.
I dream we will run away from this town,
A beast.
I was strong, fast, unbeatable,
Red eyes, hot breath,
Power flowing like blood.
You were my pet,
Your only purpose was to make me
Happy.
And when you failed
Sometimes it hurts when I think aboutThe fact that you, I am withoutI'll not be the one that's by your sideThat simple grace I've been denied
I seem cursed to love what I can't ever haveBut I could have had, and that's the rubI ran away when it looked like loveAnd I see my folly when I look back
The morning sun kisses his cheek gently through the window blinds, and upon awaking he grins.
Grinning until he recollects what awaits him.
Begrudgingly he rolls out of bed.
Shower, dry, brush, dress, eat, leave.
The past is static its events shall not change
Time can't be reordered, reduced, rearranged
It happened, it's done, its effects have been applied
They say that love cant exist without hate, but i dont find that to be true
The hatred is strong
Strong enough to stop the love from entering my heart
You said you loved me
You said you'll die for me
Driving the car
got a text from a friends
asking "where you at"
I look down at my phone
the next the thing I knew
I hit a boy crossing the street
OH NO HE'S Dead
Now spending 50 years in jail
It's funny how we design or dreams around the thaught that it could be infinite,
But never realizing that those merky seams, are nuzzled out passion fruits of innocence.
I love you
That's what you told me
That's what I told you
At one point
Our hearts joined
And for that moment time stayed still
And even the little bee by the white rose
Felt the so called love
Hear I stand a soldier
haunted by what I've done.
My ears still ring
with their screams.
My eyes still burn
burn with their faces.
I remember whispering
to each pair of eyes
Like the rose who's petals have fallen to earth
Like a single snowflake melting alone
Like a whispering breeze with a lonely fall-leaf
Like an empty laugh lacking of mirth
Life is dictated in Time's court
So fuck around all you want
Time will come and strip your selfishly selfless conceited joys
Gavel slammed to a sentence of eternal damnation
You to an eternity of never ending
Abort that little seed
That didn’t even live its life.
Mama and daddy what is was
waiting upon.
Little seed that would have been running around in
the backyard,
The beauty about string theory, the endless loop of universes, the theory of endless possibilities, is that somewhere, in the vast void of space everthing'll be okay
We'd be together
We'd be happy
You'd know how i feel
While walking down the street one day
I heard a small boy cry
Why hath this life have no meaning
And why do people die
I thought to myself
"oh small boy everyone asks someime"
RING! RING! Click!
A text came through
It reads "WHR R U?"
Not parked, moving motion
CRASH! SLAM! SCREECH! What's the commotion?
Three spins and a twist your wrapped around a pole
I heard his heart beat once,
But that was long ago
Back when I didn’t know the miseries that life would hold
Before the dreams and mysteries of life grew cold
Just like the hole that I carry in my soul
It won't happen to me, I said. That's a sad story, but it won't happen to me. I'm invincible. A teenager. My "whole life ahead of me". It won't happen to me. I'll do everything right. I promised. I won't drink and drive. I agreed.
Birch,
Your bark once white
Is now black
From all the things we can’t take back.
You’ve shivered in the wind
But now you burn because we’ve sinned
Your shade may be no longer,
3:57
odd time
to be a-
wake.
I lay slowly,
adrifting away-
awake.
the Insomniac beat... yes it
benches and bangs,
an anvil god's trinkets and toys
bring pain-
Take a bite of the poison
It’s the fate that you’ve chosen
Eat it slow, swallow fast
Making each sensation last
Bittersweet tastes of heaven and hell
Take more; go on, you might as well
Time flies way too fast
There is no reverse
Youth is fleeting
My childhood is in pieces
Is this what reincarnation is for?
Re-do
Do over
Can I take everything I have done back?
when we're in the mood
when we're in this place
when the temperature rises
and our hearts start to race
and in between heavy breathing
accompanied by low moans
The only thing I'm good at is being banged in bed sheets over the head
Bodies touch emotions would rush but there's none
No passion
no good reason or ration
Just for money to blow, a high rate hoe
Bright hues of orange
of golden dandelion
of bursting sunrises
saturation of all colors
saturation of all feelings
an explosive concentration
of stifling
sticky
crippling
heat
Bright hues of orange
of golden dandelion
of bursting sunrises
saturation of all colors
saturation of all feelings
an explosive concentration
of stifling
sticky
crippling
heat
Nothing ever stops moving--
Not when you want it to, or need.
No light dims out on Broadway;
No moment of silence for them.
If they go, will they be
Remembered as they are
Or as they used to be?
Wasting away.
Lost.
Lonely.
I run at any sign
of someone trying to
talk me out of my nonsense.
I'm so deep within the black
that the white seems hideous.
Threatening.
You said it would only be a few months. Months turned to years and years turned to never. Time is merely vapor and we were merely smoke.
The rain, it is my comfort,
when I sit, alone, in darkness,
my thoughts completely consumed
by you.
I find it much more difficult to write
To tap tap tap into my own mind
To indulge my words and to delight
In the soft and sweet poetic kind
A man I knew, or did one time
Regret
I wish I could say
At the closing of Life
I wish I could say
I gave it my all.
I wish I could say
I fought the enemy
That I witnessed its red eyes
Dilate and close.
I wanted you to know that I think of you when I carve into my flesh.
I wanted you to know that come up with plans to kill you.
I wanted you to know that you are a cold, selfish monster.
The storm in the distance begins to stir,
And here I stand with the ice beneath my feet.
The gusting wind is cold, harsh, and bitter,
The snowdrifts are building around the lake,
Uncomfortable situation to say the least Babying her immaturity The silent treatment feels like a cold hard slap to the face And for what? Weeping and raging What does that accomplish?
He was just a little kid
blonde hair, blue eyes
playing in the back of the church like usual
waiting for mom to say it’s time to go.
He doesn’t notice the girl with her short shorts and blue shirt
Mad at myself
For letting it end
Countless months, hours, and days
Spent with my thoughts in a never ending haze
Can't help to not to cease to forget you
Can't help to not to try to let go
Deep Inside,
full of feelings oh so very low
Betrayal, selfishness, and fear
once part of my past
Situations you never deserved
Afraid it will come back
Up like a shadow
Up like his smoke
Rolling in with the tide
Even when I hide
I'm afraid it will find me
I'm afraid I'm still to week to fight
Because I remember how
Inside me there's a life
I may not give
the chance
To live nor
To be a kid
Nor To grow big
I feel you baby
Mommy is here
Yet please my child
Understand
This world is evil
Life,
So meaningless and rich,
It withers like a dying flower And yields its beauty with, Yet richer than the richest golds
And finer than the finest jewels,
He closed the door in front of me and I hope I know what I’m doing
‘Cause my heart is racing as this stranger greets my eyes.
Can you bring light to the dark?
The darkness creeps in holding fear and regret,
Fear can grab you and take you away from you natural life.
Regret will make you seem as if you’re worthless and have no meaning.
How did we not notice?
In everything she said,
Each and every word
Accompanied by dread
She began one day to draw away
And no one seemed to care
If any had given a d**n
Perhaps she would still be here
It’s about time us who have yearn will be
honor in our means.
It’s about time, the celebration will meet
the accomplishments which come to
light in making history.
EVERYDAY I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND HATE WHAT I SEE
WHO I REALLY AM
IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN ME.
I’VE MADE MISTAKES
WHEN I DIDN’T LISTEN TO MY HEART
NOW EVERYTHING IMPORTANT
HAS QUICKLY FALLEN APART.
