
Undated Memories of an Old Journal
Wrinkled edges and dog-eared pages,
Smudges from the swift stroke of a careless hand ―
Crispy remnants of a poem spaghetti-stained
Saliva drops from years of cackling laughter
Thoughts overflowing from mindful clutter
Trapped in the diffidence of a person so tiny;
These are the stories of a journal I hold dearly.
Bright lights flashing through the auditorium,
Colorful, cacophonous, crowds waving their ―
State flags with pomp and prideful tear;
I sit beneath the stage in shadows of regret,
Knowing this ― this moment I’ll never forget,
Staring up, up, towards a podium I’d stand ―
If only upon the target my last shot would land;
The glittering gold medal upon his neck is all I see ―
And towards it my humbled eyes gaze respectfully;
These are the stories of a journal I hold dearly.
One middle-aged man and a woman sit in front ―
A friendship oblivious to my passive presence behind;
Lost in a silence filled with the special kind
Of age-old stories and jokes-never-told ― and nostalgia
Impervious to blaring honks of infuriated China ―
Crawling through the expressway at thirty an hour;
The woman turns to him and helplessly hopes for another
Day to spend with each other ― then the sun falls down,
Into misty mountains’ layered nightgown,
Frozen for a moment in unforgiving waves of time ―
And signaling the end with its bittersweet shine
Like final pedals closing on an old pond lily;
These are the stories of a journal I hold dearly.
Through the roughened pages I patiently flip:
Poems tumbling off pale purple lines,
Struggling against the notebook’s fragile spine;
I can’t remember the first time I ever wrote ―
Or when-or-how-or-why-or-what-about;
Atop each page lacks a date; only ―
Words scribbled in permanent purity ―
So when I read again the words will sink,
Melodiously deep down to make me think
That-that pain-joy-and-feelings-in-between
Are forever a part of me too deep to be seen ―
Not merely that it happened in twenty-thirteen.
I write no dates so they don’t decompose as history ―
Rather, let them stay for eternity
The most intensely personal shades of me;
These are the stories of a journal I hold dearly.