Mini Market Nightmare

my eyes stretch the horizon...
the cigarette burns quicker as I drag the smoke deeper in my lungs
I ponder the events of this week
my wanderings, where are you?
What happened to you?
Is this why all these years my eyes scanned the crowd and found you naught
Here I lean against a filthy dirty business beige wall
my god Have I sunk so low?
those aimless hopes for my life evaporated
Waiting waiting waiting
the wife is getting off work soon, I wait for her
but my mind is upon you
so long ago and you still haunt me...
when I die will I haunt you?
The mountains look inviting there on the horizon...
I breathe deeply and stifle a  cough
my fingers twitch as the cigarette burns closer to the filter
damn things.. they will be the death of me...
yet will you be also 
the nagging feeling
I lost something precious
I lost something that was worth fighting for...
Now I have accepted life as a status quo...
once long ago I thought of higher things, brighter things
now I live from one drive to another marked by waiting, working or feeding my face
where are you?
will I ever know?
life is a dirty job, in this dusty town
people pass by me, in and out the glass doors
Minds set upon getting gas, beer or cigs
the wife likes the motion, activity
but all I see is degradation, empty work and not any single reward
She does not ask for much and so I do not either
but somewhere I feel like I missed something in my life
something more....
I must be content, I will be content...
even if someday's I wonder what happened to you...


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