dad
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In July of 2013, you died and you went to Heaven.If you hadn't died, today you would've turned 77.After taking chemotherapy for months, you died.You were a good provider and that can't be denied.
Something happened eleven years ago that was sad.After he battled Leukemia for many months, I lost Dad.I thought he'd live longer but he died at the age of sixty-five.
You trek through the days of gray,
Your candle burning bright.
I pay no regard to your wilted body,
As I prance around in fields of green.
Dear Dad,
I don't even know where to start.
You're still alive, but I feel like you have been gone for a long time.
I miss who you were when you didn't drink, I hardly remember that person anymore.
Am i really hating men with the way they have treated me
with their words, their hostility-
i find none, no remorse, no feeling
and no appology.
They are but bare faced men with a truth
You were diagnosed with Leukemia and sadly, you didn't survive.If you hadn't died 111 months ago, today you would've turned 75.You were born on October the 18th of 1947.But 111 months ago, you went to Heaven.
I remember how much Dad suffered during his final days.After months of receiving chemotherapy, he passed away.Regular chemo stopped working so they used a more powerful version that made him feel worse.
I hate him in all his glory but hell he’s improving
There’s a reason i nicknamed him the good o’l asshole
Hell i'm planning a tattoo dedicated to him
I remember the pizza place
In November of 2011, Dad was told that her was terminal and wouldn't survive.He was diagnosed with Leukemia and he passed away at the age of sixty-five.
Hello again, father of mine.
I haven't written one of these in a while, been some time
I've calmed down since I've last wrote about you
I'd like to think I've changed a little, at least in my point of view
I was "peaches and cream" skin and red tufts of hair to him,
Held in his young dad arms.
He was first teacher, first love, first hero, first god;
Until a 16 year old bride, I broke his heart.
Reckless...
I used to always cry my tears
Sometimes I still do even throughout the years
It’s not new, you’ve done this so long
But if you thought I wouldn’t grow strong
Did you ever even care about my opinion?
If you didn’t know, I do have one
I think that you’re a selfish, apathic a-hole
And somedays I used to wonder if you even had a soul
You used to bicker, holler, and fight
Yeah, I still heard, even though I was in bed at night
How could one sleep when you were yelling at the top of your lungs?
Been that way since I was young
I found a flower on the ground today. It was purple- an artist would go as far as to call it lilacand I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Memories
of sunshiny days
are fleeting
They pass
in a blur of ecstatic haste
and they leave behind
the bitter taste of longing
The touch
once remembered
I sit here, quietly alone,
Still looking for you to come home.
Silly of me to think such a thing, I know,
But my heart, and the idea, I can't let go.
You've been the beat to every heart beat I've had,
The needles on the wall clock with the ticking sound
Pulverizing my soul, making my heart pound
Every audible gasp ensuing the other one
A blink of eye that snatched my reason
Dear dad-
did you ever lay your eyes on me?
I remember in agony and melancholy,
My entire childhood was spent wondering what hell did I do to you
and what heaven could I have done
to keep you around.
I have many-a successes in my life
Although I have not always lived in the light
In the light of what is doing what is right
It has always been a fight
I try to do what makes my parents proud
Set the table, wash the dishes,
Pour the water, say the prayer.
You bury every worry because you know it’s not yours to bare.
Keep a quarter in your pocket, sure to make us smile
Today was a battle,
Yesterday a fight.
Tomorrow will be another...
Reminder of this war.
You’ve taken my youth,
Breakfast Is Waiting
The hot butter bubbles on the pan
And the eggs slide around ontop of the oil
He always said breakfast everyday would lengthen your life span
Breakfast Is Waiting
The hot butter bubbles on the pan
And the eggs slide around ontop of the oil
He always said breakfast everyday would lengthen your life span
Breakfast Is Waiting
The hot butter bubbles on the pan
And the eggs slide around ontop of the oil
He always said breakfast everyday would lengthen your life span
We were about to move
again
And he said we needed to paint the garage
He didn’t explain why
but he never does
I feel like a slave,
Chained to the wall.
I haven't shaved in days,
Feels I've become a lost cause.
Did he ever care,
Will I ever know?
Was all this for real?
I guess it's time for me to go.
I still remember in vivid detail the first time my father made me bleed. It was a cold November evening and we had just finished dinner. I was all dressed up in my golden basketball jersey ready for a game.
Much like my father,
I refuse to admit to my flaws
I evade revealing any of my own weaknesses.
Much like my father,
I am stubborn.
I did not choose to lose you
To let you go violently into
That good night.
I did not choose for my heart to stop
When yours did
When paramedics covered you up
And stopped trying
in May I cut
my hair as short
as I dared
and stood before
you with bared
neck. and then
suddenly
I didn't anymore resemble
the little girl who sat on your lap,
looking up,
Growing up seemed fun to me,
Until I no longer fit on dad's knee.
Counting how many years I had left of school,
Knowing it's my learning tool.
One day I no longer had,
All my friends, just my dad.
I remember all the fun we had
Waking up to a happy home
Other times we would scream and cry
You would never really know
Then we had to say goodbye
I sleep comfortably at my home,
while you stand alert at the border all night.
I weep in the comfort my loved ones,
while you long for hearing the voice of your family.
I complain of hot and cold whether ,
What love is not
Love is not cynical
Love is not unkind
Love is not controlling
Love is not blind
Love does not harm
Love does not boast
“Just Grow Up,”...
Three little words,
I’ve never heard from my parents.
“Just Grow Up,”
three little words,
I had to tell myself.
The Strike
The Final Blow
My word?
No.
No was used
to stop the abuse
No was said
to blow out the fuse.
The fuse of anger
had turned to grief,
and the fuse
you used to work at every corner.
supplies stashed in the walls of your room,
money found underneath your bed.
hustling in the frigid, New York streets,
My fear is mine
I can’t hide from it
No matter how hard
I try
I’m running
I’m broken
I’m worthless
Until I’m
I want you to know that even though you're away, not a minute passes that I don't think of my Bae
I love every part of you and I don't just mean aesthetically, although, of course, you're gifted genetically.
Most girls know what its like
That feeling waiting for daddy to come home
Sitting by the door
Listening for the car door to slam
The footsteps and the keys in the door
Young me didn't know you were going to leave, But you left.
You didn't leave on purpose but forcefully taken away.
You left us for two years and I didn't know what would've become of us.
It's cold
I'm frustrated
Thinking of quitting
Yet, he's my stronghold
Take a deep breath
Examine the scene
Hold it all in
It's not life or death
You're there when I'm engulfed in depression
You're there when my insecurities poke
You're there when my guilt is my obsession
You're there when my fears begin to provoke
A man who taught me to be who I am today
A man who works hard every single day.
He never asks for praise, or gives a little boast
Just as the wind directs the sea,
My father directs me.
For so long, he went unnoticed
Yet he stayed so devoted.
Never did he waver
Thank you for what you have done
It has been loads of fun
Thank you for showing me to live my life free
Gravitating backwards she declines,
Liquifying to earths compressions,
Ruined but intertwined,
Cannot bypass innocent transgression.
Paved away from those dementions,
Couldn't shake her desolation,
Dutiful, disciplined, dependable dad.
How happy to have had:
teacher, trainer, tactful taskperson.
Listening to lectures, leaning, learnin',
sometimes snubbing,
I've learned so much; thanks for loving.
Without you there is no me.
The way you two make my heart glisten like a rushing stream.
You watched me grow,
Always putting up with me when I yelled "No!"
You were in and out of my life for as long as I can remember
In a place, you might as well call home
Three walls, behind bars, all alone
You made friends whose names were pen and paper
Thank you, o' so much.
For you have taught me so many things.
You have taught me to read, drive, ride a bike.
But there are things deeper than that.
The people who influence you
Are the people who believe in you
Most important influence in my life
As Cliché as it sounds
It is you Dad
You are my lifesource
Protector
Life coach
Provider
To Ferdi Simon,
You play with pens and pencils
Then they play with each other
Muffled talks comprise the symphonies
As the lead is flowing through the paper.
Coupled with melodious poundings,
At five o'clock in the morning,
On a bright Saturday,
When everyone else is still at rest,
The Man With The Shovel is long gone,
Working to provide for his family in anyway he can.
At five o'clock in the morning,
On a bright Saturday,
When everyone else is still at rest,
The Man With The Shovel is long gone,
Working to provide for his family in anyway he can.
My father was the sun, his coworkers, friends, and family were the planets that orbited him. He was the type of man to walk into a room and ensnare all the attention that exists there.
Shaving used to be just a razor before glass before safety pins before my nails before
I still think there was a before but my mind has been cut and tried to fit bewteen the
He who has a voice booming like Zeus’s thunder
But, singing so delicate yet clear like no other.
Eyes wide and alert,
yet so playful and mischievous.
My Daddy was a firefighter,
He save many,
My dady is the strogest man I know,
Though I saw him cry once,
He is still my hero.
My Daddy was a Mechanic,
He fix everything that I broke,
You have inspired me to be best i can And to me you are the definition of a real man Emancipated and concentrated i often see on your face My promise
Thoughts are not reality
They don't mean a thing
Believing your thoughts can be devastating
What your thinking may not be true
A rush to judgment that may really hurt you
It is very hard for me to pick just one person that I dedicate everything I am to
For others it might be simple
For others it might be impossible
I place myself somewhere in the middle.
My father, my father, how much you mean to me,
You’ve taught me how to be mature, and good as I can be,
You help me up when I fall down, and tell me I can do it,
Half a decade ago today, Dad ceased to be alive.Five years ago, Dad died at the age of sixty-five.He was a hard worker, he could have outworked two twenty-year-olds.
It's Saturday
I wake up
Mom knows
Breakfast shows up at 8
It's Saturday
Dad's gone
Off to work
Won't be back till late
Next morning
On a trip
Do you see it?
Its Moving
With you its not going anywhere
No soul can take it away
Its permanently a visual of you
Your Face Is a sight to see
Because you look like just like me
live in the moment and have some fun
you're blind, you're naive, you never listen
get crazy and wild; worry when you're done
mind's empty, heart's dull, but your soul glistens
Yo se que no hamblamos de todo
pero tampoco hay esa necsisdad
porque los mejores momentos son los mas simples.
No hay que decir nada para disfrutar
esos momentos que pasamos juntos.
"Please stay with me, daddy!"
"Please don’t leave me!"
You were walking so fast.
Too fast for my little feet to keep up.
Looking at the stars
Thinking about the place I go every day,
The place I call home
But it doesn’t feel that way.
Home feels like bad dream
Man,
I still remember saying our goodbyes
But I can’t remember the last one.
You would remain still behind the glass
As my sister and I would be carried away,
Tears streaming from our eyes
Dear Dad,
You tried and you tried
You tried so damn hard
To shove your toxicity down my throat
You stole my childhood
You put me through hell
Bargained my sanity you thought you could sell
Dear Dad,
Sometimes I wish I never met you.
1,000 miles used to be the only distance,
But now we're quite through.
And yet, I still think about your existence.
Dear Dad, Hey, it’s been a while, I didn’t really expect you to be gone so soon. How are you doing up there? I know how picky you are, so I can’t assume. Things haven’t been the best since you left, But we are getting by. My
Dearest Father,
From my first breath to my first day of school
You were there for them both.
You held my hand and kissed my cheek,
And did what you could
To protect me from the harsh world.
Dear Dad,
its been years, continuous
I want you to know
You can not baptize yourself in Liquor
That ocean is not holy
I want you to know
Your liver will drown, get sicker
Dear Dad
Sometimes I wonder are u alive
Or have you died?
Everything u have told me has been a lie
And I can't even survive.
On the hurt,
Oh, dear Sis,
I’m so sorry!
I really thought,
I really thought he just did it to me…
or that it was just a bad dream like Mommy said.
...and I asked about the screams,
To my Dad, my best friend,
I can’t even pretend that all this happened,
I just want to bend and contort until my body says no-
My mind is full of what if's, maybe's, and so’s.
dear dad,
you look at me
when i am a woman,
pretty pink dress
clung like a leech
sucking content
from my skin.
Dear Dad,
I wish you would have stayed,
I wish you have cared.
You never gave me the chance to know you,
you never even had a clue.
You were not perfect, this I know
Dear Mr. Chavez or should I say Dad?
Such great high school memories, we both had.
You made me lunch each morning, every single day.
"I don't eat that", instead of, "Thank you", I'd say.
Dear Dad,
How do you feel at 40 years old
That you diddn't see your daughter grow up
Now shes all grown
Im 18 now and lived my whole life without you
Going to college now
Forgetting about you
Dear Father
I don’t call you “Dad”
Because I don’t feel you know me
The thought of opening up to you makes me want to flea
Together every morning they make the bed
Laying the warm heather grey duvet on top
Smiling together like they were newlywed
Dear Dad,
You were my most influential teacher
I learned when I was six
When given a choice between
A glass bottle and your daughter's hand
Dear Daddy,
As I sit at this blank screen and wonder what to write.
As I think back to everything you've taught me, and realized you were right.
You were the world to me, my sun, moon and light.
Dear Father,
Do you feel bothered?
Knowing you have another daughter?
I digress.
I shouldn't bother.
I never really called you father.
Dearest Dad,
Do you feel sad?
Dear Daddy,
I think it's been a while father,
Don't you ever wonder what's going on with your daughter?
It’s been long since you’ve gone,
For a very long time I looked down on myself
for pursuing my dreams instead of the wealth
My brother, an engineer
My sister, a nurse
And I...
I am...
not the lawyer you wanted to see
Dear Dad,
I'll keep this brief.
I won't pretend to know why you did what you did
Or what was going throuhg your head
That day you pulled the trigger
That changed the lives of your kids,
Dear Dad,
Are you upset with me, because I grew up wrong?
Are you upset that I am Mentally ill?
You haven't spoken to me in so long.
But I love you, still.
Dear Dad..
You're like a broken advice vending machine
All advice is free and it's always a two for one offer sometimes even three
I see you in my sleep,
there, you’re still alive,
Refusing to accept you’re gone,
is the only way I survive,
I reveal all my stories,
Dear Dad,
How long has it been? Seasons have come and goneAnd still I move on
Even now I think back to thenTo the days I curled up in your lapWhen I tried on your boots and made you laugh
To the woman who gave me my first breath
The one who carried my weight
The one who loved me without even seeing me
There's a knot in my throat when I try to tell you
What I felt went wrong
I would not take a bullet for my mother.
How horrible that sounds, I know,
but I would rather lose my own mom and suffer
instead of having her lose her baby girl and drown in sorrow.
Sitting round the table waiting for Dad to join us,
Me and my mom spent two hours gazing at the main entrance
Hoping the door bell would ring
And dad would come home spring me up in his strong arms
Your daughter is not timid
I'll fight all the demons
No matter the outcome
You've been my armour from the day I was born
But now it's my time to face the challenges
So I shall, and overcome them too.
Dear Daddy,
When will you be home?
These walls, they feel so empty
In my house, I feel so alone.
Here, my sadness drenches me;
Dear Mom and Dad,
I love you both
You've clothed me and fed me before I could do it for myself
You've helped me through all of my problems
You've stopped me from doing things I shouldn't
You've raised me
I can feel the memories of you deep inside my heart
I feel the ghosts of you around the house
I see the physical reminders of you
I see your car and want to scream knowing it’s a lie
Dear Dad,I believe that, at my creation, God deemed you my father.
How else could a man be so delicately crafted for my upbringing?
Hey there dad do you remember me?
I’m your daughter, the one you raised but never come and see.
I remember when I was growing up you would’ve never left my side.
Always behind me,
He's there to protect,
Working with precision,
A hero so perfect.
Omnipresent is he,
Scanning for snags,
Clearing my way,
Destroying such lags.
I wish I could play a reel
And show you the footage that plays in my mind
That perfetly explains how I feel
Time after time
The film would star the pools "Stair Master"
12/7/2017
Dear Dad,
I don't know if I believe in anything anymore.
Six years ago you died.
Six years ago I hypervenilated on the porch.
With my cell phone in my hand and my best friend on the phone.
Dear Father
The way you care for me throughout my life
It makes me feel like I miss you.
Teaching me how to ride my bike, tie my shoes, and do math.
Reading scripture and applying it to our lives.
A Letter to an Absent Father
Dear father- or rather to the man
Who simply donated DNA.
I'm not sure if I can call you "Dad"
Anymore because a father is
Why do I work all day?
Why do I not show up for dinner?
Why do I not go to your games?
Why do I never seem to be there when you need be?
When I know you won't understand,
That not everything is nice.
Dear Father,
Thank you for being my fatherBecause fathers should provide
They should hold your hand and want to danceAnd be present in your life
My dad throws a plate at the breakfast room wall,
As he throws it he adds on his life, marriage, and family,
It shatters into smaller images of himself,
And the sound it makes is nothing short of deafening,
I remember you telling me,I was better off without you,that the world was better offwithout you. I remember how those conversations made my heart stopand turned my body to lead,weighing me down with fear. I remember riding in the car, my knuckles
Let me paint you a pictureI’m sitting on the edge of a cliffmy feet are hanging offand my hands are placed on the edgeone on each side.There is a nothing holding me backfrom shoving myself off this cliff
If my dad had lived, he would be the big 7-0.On this day, Dad was born seventy years ago.Seven decades is how long he would've been alive.But leukemia killed him, Dad did not survive.
Three Simple Words
Created Upon The Lords
Have Such Meaning
For Such a Robust Feeling
Mom Dad Sister Brother
If It's Not One Thing It's Another
Relationship With The Other
You were my super hero
You held me up when I was weak
You protected me from the darkness
You wiped away my tears
I wish I could take you from your pain.
I wish I could draw you a door
So you could open it and leave,
But paper doors are as thin as the notion.
And we are two paper boats being set alight
You would scream at mom,
as I held my ears closed.
You would sling things,
as I shedded tears.
You used to get angry,
you used to get sad.
If I even said a word,
you would get mad.
it starts with dada.
hands rising, reaching for arms that cuddle you
till you fall asleep.
daddy.
Broken shards of hearts
are dregs at the bottom of the teacup that is life.
But I suppose you always made it ok.
When I was a kid you would sleep in my room,
To keep the monsters away.
Those days were perfect.
Dad, can you help me fix this shit?
I keep trying to build mountains out of nothing,
And you always could fix anything.
I know, you'd pick a shovel up, and help me
Dig my own grave, if only I'd ask.
There is an empty reality for men in this world.
Taking all they had.
The pastors, politicians, and bosses.
They remove a man's heart.
And they don't fill the spot with anything.
They just leave it.
Empty.
AWAY FROM MY BLANKET
In my blanket where I feel the warmth
Where I am always comfortable
Where I don't receive any coldness
Nevertheless he divorced his companion
The small branch wept and wept
Oh he was in such blanch
Small branch wished the broken pieces were not kept
On a stormy night lightning struck the small branch’s heart
the ball is there for continuity. something like
a good excuse to be out here beneath this
July sun that runs
Sleeping Beauty slept her life away.
Dreaming of a day where she could just go away
Eternally.
Finally awoke after a long needed slumber.
He chose to leave,
never bothering to explain why.
He chose to avoid me,
I'm never going to understand why.
What did I do to deserve such treatment?
I miss my dad, but does he miss me, too?
I'm a big girl now
I can't accept everyone's opinion
I'm a big girl now
I can't suppress my own
I'm big
And strong
His father died when he was 16
He never even told his father he loved him
The thought haunted his mind
Every day of each of the years to come
So he shut everyone out
He kept up his walls
Now I sit here and ponder, will you still be here? Will you come to my graduation, cheer for me as I accept my diploma? Will you walk me down the isle, eyes filled with tears?
Disscussion,
Can't we just talk?
Round table
no intimidation
from whom I was Born,
Blood shared,
Bones grown,
Umbilical Cord.
Can't we just tal-
Intimidation.
Raised Voices
1997-2002:
[No memories]
late 2003, one hour south of Switzerland:
Dad smashed my Gameboy.
He told me the screen looked better as a sunset.
I’m only seven, but
When you score your first goal, go out for ice cream
When your teacher gives you your first gold star, frame it
I miss your eyes.
the way they crinkle up like that when you smile.
Now when I see you your smile
looks almost sad.
You look tired.
I miss the garden.
Remember every summer when we'd
Growing up with my mom, hardly ever had a father figure.It was like I was the only one who ever saw the bigger picture.I grew up in New York with my mom in an apartment.My dad was a handy man who worked on anything from ceiling to floor carpet.I w
Cleanliness important since birth
Ingrained in his head since he was a kid
Friday morning palms overhead
Leaves are looking a little long
Traces of dirt find their way to the ground
We all begin as lumps of clay
Shapeless
Colorless
Full of potential
I was a small lump
But I knew what I could do
I knew I had so much to offer
And with that thought, I grew
Black and white
That's all I see
Surroudning me, enclosing me
I can't breathe
My chest is caving in
I feel so dismal and guilty
Whay can't I be normal?
Why happened to the old me?
We don't talk much or even see each other since I moved out.
I don't know how to act around you because I've never had anyone
like you in my life.
I've grown up seeing people with someone like you and
Sitting in the dark
Listening to them yell
I watch from the stairs
This is my hell
Am I the reason?
That they always fight
What did I do?
That causes this every night
By: Gisela Rosa Growing up with you was rainbows and smiles. Reading books aloud to you, doing my homework next to you, watching Bad Boys with you, makingjokes.
The only letters I’ve ever kept
Are apology letters
Every single one from my father
Because it’s easier for him to write to me
And leave it in my room while I’m sleeping
Than to look me in the face
Practicing t-ball in the big field behind our old house , you pushed me hard, you made it count.
Dad what did i do ?
I remember you helping me, no training wheels on pushing me along
Dad what did I do ?
You learn pretty early on that words are never enough
Love is a complicated emotion that when put from pen to paper
Loses it's meaning with each drop of ink
You see, the true essence of humanity is....
Words
Waking up is not fun,Especially if you have to run.Rushing from home to school Does not make me so cool,
Yet going to school will hopefully make me bloom.
Brownies
"Brownies" was the topic, she gave to me that day.
T’was difficult to ponder a poem to start that way
COOKIES
Cookies are my favorite stuff
But making them can be really rough.
You mix the flour, and make the dough;
It takes an hour, which goes... so... slow.
The painted sky
is brought to life
with flickers of golden light.
I have torched the night
with the war cry you taught me.
We are an inferno,
fueled by knowledge,
i wish someday
i will woke up in a fine winter day
and in that morning my daddy will say-
"honey, lets walk out and play"
i wish someone will wake him up
because i think everything of it -is enough
The day you entered my life/ I know we won't have any strife/ Our family: Dad, child, wife/ But taht is just a big fyffe// A lie just to give you hope/ Daddy don't need to elope/So please baby don't go mope/My chance of love is a slope// Baby do n
I am antique malls and dusty dishes
I am front porch pickers and moonshine sippers
I am light up sketchers and spongy pineapple dwellers
I am young mistakes and a family disgrace
I am dogwood trees and honey bees
You have died
Not in the literal sense
But in my heart
You have perished
You did not take a gun to your head
Or swallow a handful of pills
To choose to end your life
A is for air force. It’s Captain Briggs in the jet. The toughest and proudest man that you’ve ever met.
B is for ball, “why can’t you catch?” Dad grumbled as I shaped my small hands for the next.
My mind explodes with hatred. I was only told of the awful memories. I was only told of the abuse. My mom wanted to protect me from the bad. I was forced into a game of hide and seek except there was no one looking for me.
How did she get him?
How did her get her?
Why do we have to be related
Live under what they call a roof
Sitting by myself
Daddy’s crying in the corner
Mommy left us behind
But I have to be a strong little soldier
Feeling abandoned not just by her
But by the tears I try to hide
Siempre me levantas,
Cuando me caigo al piso.
Cuando estoy en pedasitos
Hecho un rompecabezas que no han podio adjuntar.
Cuando me han dejado tirada en la oscuridad,
Things are never going to be the same.
Hesitant to speak, I nod in understanding,
considering him with my full attention.
His calloused hands have been subjected to heavy strain,
I'm hurt.
I'm hurt that my Dad left my family and I,
I'm hurt that he didn't get to finish teaching me the things he wanted me to know,
I'm hurt that my parents argued that night,
Our family was never traditional
I am the youngest
But mentally, I am the oldest out of everyone
Other than you
"Damn, what a fam,"
I say to myself
As I admire our picture on the shelf
Ask anyone of us
We'll tell you that we're the best
When I was born you weren’t there
An angel sent me to you, my dear
Came in my life with your heart open
Many words of wisdom you’ve spoken
Time flies I’m three
Once I had a father,
who was strong, hard working, and a good husband
That's what I wanted to believe
That's what I told myself
Who was I fooling?
Stranded on an island? The one million dollar question, what would I need?
Many would say my phone, t.v, tablet, their whole room I would choose different
I have always been told that I am different and that is alright
Ive been thinking bout you a lot lately..Maybe a little too much..Breath stinking roaches on my tooth brush..Wishin i was on the road cooking like a food truck.no wishes grantedhate waking up now cus school sucks.. Eyes tearing up.Wish i had some
I’d like to tell you about –
But I can’t.
I shouldn’t go around telling people –
It probably wouldn’t interest you anyway.
I should probably just go, before I accidentally tell you –
Mother fails. Denies. Cries.
Unused to failure, she is forced to admit
He won’t apologize.
It took me awhile to finalize
The difference between “hypocrite”
And “illness.” Mother cries.
When the sick man began to submit,
Those around him began to realize,
But Mother said to be compassionate.
It started with an argument.
In my eyes he was penalized.
When the sick man began to submit.
She sat cross-legged on the ground, a little girl at her father’s feet.
He had to leave. So she walked him to the door
And locked it behind him.
Up the stairs she flew, barging down the hallway and into her room.
The wood is cracked,
The paint chipped,
The gutters sprouting weeds.
Leaks and watermarks make up the walls,
Warped windowsills no one dares to heed.
Down the stairs cement hits your feet
"I don't know how," he says to me.
It's been 17 years and it only took three.
Three years of my life wasted on a process;
A process to let go of the one man who should promise,
Never knew what it was like to feel happy
Loove was not there (anymore)
Go ahead x2
Let him run free ,let him out let them out,
Never cry(never cry) keep it in (keep it in)
Don't feel ,be strong child
It started when i was 5.
The feelings.
Now as a kid, a cute one at that,
i knew i couldn't be choosing between one parent or the next
its just that,
my dad buys me the things i see on TV
I am grateful for all those years I had with you
For all those days I didn’t whine and cry
I was just five
I thought you were too cool
I dream of you.
Standing next to a car with leather seats that became too hot in the summer.
With eyes, golden as the embers in a fire
With arms, hugging me tightly
With lips. that kissedmy forehead when I was sick
When I was younger
I use to be your everything
I was daddy’s little girl
I loved the way you always use to carry me
As times passed
Never forget those terrible things he did
those terrible things he said
the things that made yu cry in bed
praying to only see red
the blood dripping down your wrists
oh alice what will we do with you
This special day has swiftly greeted you once againAnother year rolling in like waves is about to beginYet, no matter the time that passes-from year to hourI will always be in awe of your exceptional creative power
It is that time of year once moreTo share thoughts on a special dayFor a person who is special to the coreAnd defines "Dad" in every possible way,Words cannot describe all that is done
I know you are trying
I know you think your dying
I apreciate you trying
Trying to be there for us
I am sorry sometimes I ignore you
Sometimes I am mean to you
I just want to say
SAD
IT Will BE
For A Father
TO Feel
For the
Death
OF
HIS Daughter
Who was HIS
“Precious Pearl”
IT would have
Been A very
All I see are memories of your silohoutte
I remember the day you left
Like it was yesterday
You said you couldn't resist her
And Ma and I
Couldn't overlook the fact that
Everytime you came home
An open letter to my birth dad,
First thing I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for being such a pathetic piece of shit that you left us
Thank you for being just another customer to my mother
Reptile;
Cold scales abraze my once soft flesh,
An egg that never hatched.
Now basking under hell's sun is hell's son
Parents tell me "do better,
You don't want to go to hell...son."
Such a starry night
But cool
Mom and dad are so tired
They stare into a fire
That they built
Little boy and little girl
They stare too
March 25 2012
When I was 6 years old I lost something
It wasn’t just anything
Not something that can be replaced at a store
Not a thing
But a who,
At just six years old I lost my father,
When I saw you in your casket, it brought tears to my eyes.You died two years ago today on the thirteenth day of July.When the doctors said that your illness was terminal, I didn't want to believe that it was true.
Mother gave birth to me.
Father saw me be born.
How can he not care
That I am so torn?
I wanted him here;
In my life,
But instead he took off
With his new wife.
He always makes promises,
If my beloved father never started a career
that required so little family commitment,
I doubt I'd comprehend the meaning
of matieralism.
Two-hundred-fifty thousand a year
without a worry,
I flew without fear, for I knew you were near
I could soar through clouds and never scare to come down.
I could sleep with the stars and dance on the moon
Your love was always there to carry me through.
Once again I am afraid to face this day
The day you left without returning
You ever think to yourself what could I do different?
Someone like you I bet you don't even consider it
I miss the way you used to look at me
with your gentle eyes so carefully
I miss your dazed and confused way of life
your wisdom and your courage
your corny comedy and your pride
I thought of you today
in the midst of fog and haze
and though I try to forget your name,
I thought of you today.
It's like this every year
and a change is not so near
The feeling that you have when your families dislocated,and that special feeling of family, you wanted recreated.You want your parents to get back together,but when you ask your parents, they say that they'll never.
Some people smoke weed to distract their mind how they feel,cause they don't wanna see the truth, but soon they'll notice it hit's hard and real.A lot of the time this is just for fun,
Guilt like blood upon his brow
His family lost and torn asunder
A life he swore to not disavow
He’d promised to love them forever and now
Divorce struck and all went under
You twisted my mind,
With your words and your lies.
You stole away my childhood,
In every way that you could.
I am from colonial style homes,
From Sunday morning church and Bible study Wednesdays.
I am from the fall leaves on the driveway.
(Various oranges, glowing,
It tasted like apple spice pie.)
When Tad
Was a very shy Lad
He gave it all he had
And that was just too bad
But at least he wasn't a Cad
But that would of made him mad
So for that he was glad
And at least he can add
I wasn't able to upload the video because of security settings...so i pasted the linkhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHcY7nRLvmU
Minutes, hours, days, years
Graduation, Prom, College
Laughter and
T
E
A
R
S
You weren't there
When the darkness takes over
He was my hero
He was my life
The one that saved me every night.
The light to my soul
The beat to my heart
Was how I felt before we fell apart.
It was a cold March day
That's when I got the call
And I hadn't had much to say
But then I started to bawl
Daddy, do you remember when I was young and I'd run to you with all my problems?
You always promised me that you'd do anything to make me happy,
You didn't want to raise your children the way you were raised.
Daddy, it's been years since I heard your voice
But I hope you are always hearing mine
Whether it's outloud in the middle of the night
or scribbled onto some lines
I write to you because I need closure
Your love means the world to me
Please don't get me wrong
But I both think we know
That it's time I move on
You raised me and bathed me, and put me to bed
"Forever and always"
As the years go by
She grows with the changes of life
Her simple worries and fears
Turning into grave strife
No longer a little girl
Believing in fairytales they would tell
Stuck in her mind
A growing voice inside my head; the essence of me.
You were my only nightmare, yet the only person I wanted to see.
I could not wait to meet you, for I never have before.
I write to the Little Girl in the Future.
In case you have forgotten...
In case you have forgotten the beauty of the swirling passions of the primitive past
Anyone I have ever loved is a ghost I keep alive in my notebookBy feeding them the ink from my ball point pen,And let them sleep between the college ruled lines likeSome sort ofInhumane bunk bed.
today's your birthday and Fathers Day
with everything that's happened i know you'd be speechless
it's hard to think of what to say
I feel like since you've been gone our family has been a mess
We've seen it all.
The best and the worst.
We are the kids of a split family.
We watch as parents batter their character.
Gossiping about each other.
Confusion waves through the child's brain?
I just have to realize,
you have no ratoinal thought.
I just have to realize,
you've learned what you've been taught.
Your lies flow out of your mouth,
like water in a stream.
Her touch like rain drops falling gently on the lawn
Her beauty like the sun rising at dawn
Her comfort and care like a bird watching her nest
My mother makes sure to give us only the best
They say I have your eyes.
They say I have your smile.
To fnd out where they came from,
I'd walk an endless mile.
In and out of my existence,
I dont know where to turn.
All I can do is search and run,
I'm sorry I broke your heartsI'm sorry I disappointed youI'm sorry you were ashamed of meI'm sorry I left you.
"A good wine mellows as it ages"
is what my dad says in reaction to my passion.
I don't want to here this because my feelings are real
Everyone's got one and everyone of them is different. Some are tall, small, skinny, big, black, white, asain, mexican, blue hair, brown hair. Father's. Every guy can be a father but few can be a dad.
Do you have ANY idea what you have done to me?
Can’t you see?
Because of YOU
My childhood consisted of empty promises, nothing but air bubbles.
Should have saved yourself the trouble.
We did not know who to be mad at more
We were so young and you left us
You closed the front door and she closed the back door
We were so young and you left us
We held each other and cried
I can't even tell you
How angry I feel
When you say that you love me
But your voice is all slurred
I wish I could tell you
How I'm feeling inside
But you never listen
The worst thing about depression is, you don't care about anything.
I don't care if my father knows I hate him for all he has done
The tears, the tourtue.
Aliveness is Deadly
Ashley Shea
He drinks to hide the shadow of his dimmed heart
Escaping to the clouds, floating
The alcohol, a manipulator
Tricking his dark soul into beholding false light
Clock in.
Name tag
Steal toed boots
Grease rag
Work truck route
Jeans ripped
Black dirt
Tools equipped
Red tshirt
Lost.
Drifting absently through a void, separating my adolescence from my truth.
Fear snaps me out of my reverie.
Appreciated In Past Future
Stolid with rare vigor
Honorable with freed absolution
Rising from the chasm
I want you to see me through the whole in your brain
the one that sunk as you fought the tumor in vein
i want you to look at me through eyes that have meet everyone
Dad, a three letter word for father.
You know, it takes a man, a an to be a father.
You say you ere just a kid, but so was she.So was mom.
One of my earliest memories
is working on puzzles with my dad.
He’d always tell me exactly what to do,
to start with the corners
and find all the edges,
Dear dad ,
im writing to tell you the woman you once loved is gone..... she died waiting for you
the woman who taught me to read
the woman who gave me everything i could need
Eyes cast toward the windowUnseeingPretending to gaze outward, downwardAt patchwork buildings and trafficUnheard through hospital wallsYet you remember the soundLike the blood rushing through your ears
I watched them gulp the whole bottle down
I know where one get its, but for the other I have no clue how
They were the same, stubborn and loud
One I could've stopped, the other I couldn't control
To the cop haters
who don't know what they do for you
who don't feel the pain they feel.
Some of America's most compassinate people
are the ones who serve and protect.
So don't launch into some
Hi mister
how did you enter my room
my room says girls only at the door so thats why he goes through the window
how was your day his cold breath asks .
my day was beautiful it snowed ,
If,
I had only awakened only to see the one
I have been so desperately and passionately
Been waiting to embrace,
To let known as it has always seen
Not as it has always been perceived
My dad gone forever he will be.
Why things happen we will not know.
It came to early for me to see.
At least I have his pictures to show.
There is things I never said.
I have learned a lot from his life.
I feel your presence in the warmth of the summer sun.
In each breath the winter wind blows.
You're everywhere even though you're gone.
You're gone even though I need you.
What do you do when there are no words to expressall the thoughts you've barely fathomed into a conscious
I should hate you
I should despise every inch of your soul
I should recoil at your mere presence
I should be disgusted by every word you direct
Then again
What is there to hate
I don’t hate you
I’m not disappointed,
anymore.
My mother warned
I persisted
My mother begged
I pleaded
I learned
she was right
all on my,
own.
My Father is the greatest
My Father is the greatest because of him I have been created
One of eight, a boy grows up listening to Beatles music
He sings along to every song
And hopes his voice is heard
He sings of love and "Let it Be"
His family sings along
Dear Dad
Your voice is so stern, it just like a burn
The love you said you had for me, did it fly away like a dove?
The jokes you say about me, I hope its all a lie. If not i pray i could die.
Lips to the bottle
The liquid burns down your throat
Burns a hole in your stomach
The little girl accidently startles you
She didn’t mean to, she really didn’t,
As a bottle shatters against the wall
I hate my father so much.
For being a jackass and such.
His attitude brings out the anger out of me,
yet his attitude has been passed down through the family tree,
and it has unfortunately been passed down to me.
Walking slowly into the bright white hospital,
My hands trembling to see him.
The strong smell of latex and cleanser surrounds me.
An old, fragile man sitting in a chair;
No muscle or color to his face.
I don't want you to turn out like your brother,
It's a little late for that, we have the same color eyes.
Stop being so dependent on me, your sixteen now.
Alright, I'll move out as soon as I turn eighteen.
I’m sorry if it’s strange, but I don’t feel right
And it’s taken me a while to figure out why.
Now it’s hit me, I know why I feel so undone.
I’m just not fighting anymore.
Big metal birds,
Fly high in the sky,
“What are they?”
Those metal birds so high.
“Planes,”
But how?
Sometimes we argue,
sometimes we fight,
we definitely have our fits,
but that's alright.
Maybe things aren't always perfect,
sometimes we wonder why,
occasionally I give up.
When I was little, about 6 or 8 my dad built me a dream house. He built me my club house he built it with his bare hands. Those days when he was in my backyard creating his masterpiece was the most time I had ever consecutively spent with him.
I miss you so much I miss your voice and soft touchThe way you comforted me Always offering me a cup of teaI lie to myself everyday I tell myself you'll come back by the end of MayEven though I know deep downYou're never coming back to this townYo
Although we are apart
He is still in my heart.
He fills up my heart with love
although he is up above.
Cancer brought you up there
and life sometimes is just not fair.
I wish he were home with me
I live in a middle class family.
My father has spared no
Expense for my siblings, but
I will be the first of his
Children to go to
University. Still, he won't
be helping me at all with
Surrounded.By familiar faces that guide me.Yet still, I am lost.
Confused.But not numb. I feel frightened by the disarming smiles.Betrayed by the broken promises.
Hurt by the distance.
You walk in to talk about these economically issues,
but instead you ask if your shirt matches your shoes.
You blame me for not learning your subject,
but you veer off on tangents, which I don't elect.
From the second we are conceived we overcome,
Not a second in life goes by where we have not overcome,
We fight out entire lives,
Behind closed doors and out in the open,
What's in a day What makes it goWhy does time passI want it to go slowOne more day with youOr an hour or twoJust to sit byAnd talk with youI miss our early breakfasts
Words cannot explain
how much you mean to me
nothing could ever compare
or even ever be
You're my Dad, my one and only
you're my leaning post
although I love my family
I don't even remember,
the times I used to cry
All that I can remember,
was redness in my eyes
I keep on laughling,
like the light is all I see,
when deep down inside,
I'm tired of being me
Hey little birdy,
The one by my window;
I see your colourless wings so sturdy
And those dark eyes so hollow.
Birdy, take me with you.
I want your freedom;
I want to fly in the blue.
I move forward past the old memories.
Past the one with the angry glare.
And past the one who slouched or became irate when I cried,
And past the one who slurred his words.
You told me you love me,
Yet where are you now.
My birthday approaches,
Yet not one word from you.
Dancing boxertaking giverfighting allyloving enemy.Muscularly weaksweetly rough.Trying quitterplaying spectator.Joyful screamshappy sobsscary smiles.Dad you are an oxymoron.You’re like curry.At first you’re nice with a little bit of kickthen it s
As I place my head upon my pillow
I reminisce throughout the night
I remember his hands
Rough and worn
An oil scent shaded with black
The color of work
Filling each line
I hope you treat her right.
Like a real daddy should.
I hope you give her everything
Like a real daddy might.
This is your do over
To show you can be a good dad
I must’ve done something wrong
You should be my hero,
My personal Superman.
Always there to hold my hand.
You should take me fishing,
Teach me about boys.
And show me how to fight.
I should be your princess,
A telephone wire
looped and knotted
So precisely done you were
sure it would render you dead
An unsuspecting family
less than 25 feet away
in a different room
One day after the divorce I met my father at Ihop for
breakfast I didn't know his wife was joining us
She seemed alright and I loved how she acted as if
she knew I was here first
I am still reminded of him by beggars stalking the intersections downtown. I have known my real father to be homeless. Braked at the mouth of my neighborhood’s beltway exit ramp, I hold my breath.
Nerline!
Nothing more, nothing less
My name among other things pronounced at his lips' release
A petrified shiver down my spine
We are nothing more than strangers who
Why do you do this,
it makes me so sad;
I wish I could tell you.
how much it makes me mad.
You don't listen to me,
even when you're wrong;
It tears me apart,
and I never feel strong.
you left us treading for life at a crucial time
assuming our emminate doom.
you still walked away
"Youre suppose to be strong." Im 17 and Im suppose to hold everything inside, because its not time to let go. My fathers dying of cancer. Todays his 5th week in the hospital. How do you expect me to hold everything without letting go.
I never knew how much you meant
Until the day you came and went.
So many things that weren’t said
Rattle around inside my head.
I spill my tears in ink
I just wanted closure
I wanted to start a new chapter
I longed for the day I could move on
And let go of the one person I was chasing after
I cried oceans of tears at night
Thank you for not being around
Thank you for letting me see how amazing my mother is
Thank you for making me feel as though something was missing
Thank you for not being there.
Everything was perfect,
Family, Fun and time with one another
within years it went burning down like the flames in California,
Changes that occurred
The hurt that appeared,
the loneliness I succomb,
I was born of poetry
The daughter of Metaphor and Simile
God fashioned
Each valve, each vein, each artery
as a string in my fabric--poetic artistry.
Weaving through my body
leading to my heart
Like a best friend,
Poetry is there.
It is always open,
And it is always fair.
Like a mother,
Poetry is there.
It will always accept you,
No matter what you dare.
With a flash the memories are gone
A Dozen of cars crashed them all
Holding your hand and biting your lips
Is that the terror that comes within?
On your wrist it shows
Even though I never see you
I find myself trying to impress you
Even though all we have are phone calls
I want the way I look to please you
When ones so close to death
You didn't even notice you took your last breath
Your still alive
and yet there's so much hope
We all pray here
Left with cope
Your still young you've got so much left to see
We lost you.
Your gone.
I know you tried and tried
Fought all you could
But this time you had to give.
Yeah we suffered,for the ♥ of you
Your my dad don't forget that too.
I wobble my way down the narrow hallway
my thoughts are an epic mess
the bright light I'm following is so far away
yet I feel I can grasp it I must confess.
It seems as if it were just yesterday that I entered into this world
And was held in your arms for the first time
It was at that moment that a deep connection formed
And it was this from which a great friendship was born
You held me in 1994 for the first time
Since then you fed me. clothed me.
And a life full of love and joy
Taught me how to be wiser
Showed me how to shine my brightest
I bet you don’t know the man he has become
With all the lies spreading form his lungs
What was branches are now roots
We are but rotting fruits
Everyone misses you,
We all wish you were here;
Everyone wants you back,
We all want you near.
It's not only me,
My friends miss you too;
You made a big impact...
Everyone loved you.
She ran from the bus after school to meet you,
to have you pick her up and spin around.
Her giggles infected you and you finally set her down.
I miss you,
My best friend,
The man who loved his little girl,
The hero she knew her dad was,
Daddy I miss you,
The weekends we spent together,
The things you taught me,
I miss you,
Am I still your little girl, Daddy,
Please tell me it's true.
I think I grew up too fast, Daddy,
Even though I didn't have a clue.
I tried to grow up for you, Daddy,
So you didn't have to try so hard.
Coach
“Coach I want to play soccer”
No you’re playing golf
The scholarships will give you a better shot
“Okay”
Daddy,
Your baby is grown.
But I'm still your little girl,
And that will never change.
You have no clue
How much you really mean to me.
I may not show,
But always know
That you're my hero,
There once was a rose.
She was the most beautiful rose I've ever seen,
But, one by one, her petals began to fall.
The first one fell from lying to the world
And lying to herself
A congratulations
Long over due
But you're disapproving.
I never saw this coming,
And then it hit me.
Memories of you fill my mind.
My heart aches and tears fall from my eyes.
I miss you more than words can express.
And I cry as you're laid to rest.
Sometimes I feel so sad and alone,
I've got two guardian angels watching over me.
One is named grandma and the other daddy.
Both were loved so dearly and nothing brought them down.
They were both so strong and lived their lives proud.
Oh how I wish I could turn back time
To when you were still here, still alive
I miss you more and more each day
And nothing will ever be the same
I can hardly cope with this pain
Whenever I see somebody with their dad,
I feel so very sad.
I miss you more than words can express,
And I cry more than the rest.
I don't know what to do now that you are gone.
How will I ever move on?
Life is not so easy now that you are gone
I cry every night for I am not as strong
I wish you were still here with me right now
But I know it is better that you flew up through the clouds
"I love you bud. You make me proud!"
Oh, how I miss hearing those words aloud.
You had my back, you watched me grow,
And gave me all the love a daughter could know.
His night is rough and bleak
Tears run down his cheeks
As the rain pours and slaps the ground
His father hits him, yet he doesn’t make a sound
For he knows the consequence of yelling
You are Newports on any day
smoke fuming from the sleeves of a military jacket
coiling like dragon's breath in moonlit air
What defines a man?
His looks,money, success
Or his strength
Everyone has thier own idea
Some men have to be tall
Others short
But does all that make you a man?
No...
Love and compassion
Raging under a constant turmoil
Dealing with concepts so foreign
What are the Taliban, ak-47s, and fear?
As a child I did not understand these things.
Please Dad, come home.
Dear Dad
It wasn’t supposed to be this way
I was supposed to hug you one more time
Be able to look at you face so long it was memorized
I should have been able to have your arms wrapped around me
Dad,
Sorry for getting mad,
I sometimes forget that you’re my dad.
With all the memories we’ve depleted,
there’s no way it’s been completed.
We’ll always laugh, we’ll always kid,
It's complex and growing, alive
A breathing thing
That was suffocated for many years
Cut with words
Lacerations deep from childhood wounds
But growing: through days together, drives for errands
We always think of super heros
As saving lives and beating foes
They wear capes and uniforms and
Have the powers of storms
