​I hear the slam of your door as you head off to work, 10 p.m, as usual

only now its different because I wonder if this time will be the last time

you kiss me on the forehead

and tell me that I’m your favorite daughter, to which I reply that I’m your only daughter

and smile up at you, the same way I always have ever since I was a little girl, too young to understand, too innocent, too naive

But now I’m older, I’ve lost all my innocence

I’m not a little girl any more

But I always be yours.

I heard you talking to mom, late at night, when you thought I was asleep about how someone spit on you as you were walking by just because of the uniform you wore.

They don’t know your story, or who you are, or even your name

all they see is NYPD and call you a pig

a god damned pig

when they don’t know you at all.

But I’ll tell you, even though most of you don’t give a damn about a cop. Even if this cop is the best cop, the nicest cop, the proudest cop, they still only see him one way: A pig cop.

My father is the hardest worker I know

Came here all alone at 21 years old

A Paddy

Just trying to catch a piece of the American Dream

which he caught, but after a while because things don’t come easily, you have to work for them, earn them, sweat them, nothing, as he loves to tell me, comes for free.

You love this country, more, dare I say it? Then your own.

You loved this country so much that you wanted to protect it, still do even though people curse your name as you walk by, a proud soldier wearing blue, who did nothing, absolutely fucking nothing except make the choice to protect and serve those who don’t deserve to be protected because they may curse your name but once they need help who are they looking to? My dad, thats who.

Say what you will because I’ve heard it all

Nearly knocked down but I won’t fall

Even though sometimes my knees buckle and shake

Because I fear that once you go I may never see you again.

What if one day, while you’re just doing your job someone decides its a day to end cops and makes my world fall apart with the pull of a trigger?

What if someone decides to kill you just because of what you do, not who you are

which is a husband, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son, a friend.

Much more than a cop.

And what if one day someone takes my dad away from me?

My track meets would be silent without you screaming my name the loudest out of everyone

My art would seem worthless without you telling me its beautiful

My jokes would seem pathetic without you laughing as hard as I do.

My life would be, simply put, one without laughter without noise without color without voice.

And I’m so afraid of this happening that it keeps me up at night and so

I tell you ‘Daddy, I’m scared’, and you tell me that you love your job and that you’re safe and sometimes I even believe you.

I would like to think that people are better than the way they seem

but with fires burning and stores being looted and bullets being fired

I know the answer.

Cops are not pigs, its the people who say they are

The same people who carry darkness in their hearts

the ones who think actions speak louder than words

and who think nothing of taking life

all in the name of this so called justice.

And so I want to ask you who the real enemy is

is the enemy the one who protects you

even after being protested against, name called, spit on, beat, shot?

Or is the enemy the people who think change comes in the form of metal bullets

tit for tat

life for life

even if the only crime they committed was choosing to protect the same people who choose to knock them down

like dominoes

laughing as they fall.