"Youre suppose to be strong."   Im 17 and Im suppose to hold everything inside, because its not time to let go. My fathers dying of cancer. Todays his 5th week in the hospital. How do you expect me to hold everything without letting go. I dont want any "Its going to be ok's" and "if you wanna talk...,"- no. I can deal with this on my own. I can handle seeing him not eat but still throw up. I can handle him crying at night when I have to go. I dont need to talk. My tears are something Im used to covering up. Even though its hard seeing him this way, this isnt the way I grew up. I remember the times he would take me to the YMCA and I would watch him play. I rememeber the time I would ride on his neck at seaworld all day. That was then. This is now. I have to throw all those things out the door or put them in some memory bag. Its my time to give him a shoulder to fall on. See, for fathers day I got to push him outside to let him see the sun. Dont worry daddy, ill always be your number one.  Everytime you wake up, baby girl will be your first sight , even when that day comes.