despair
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Poem June 8 2024
Hopeless
Where is joy?
Gone away today
Missing the past
Seeing the past through realistic eyes
Illusions gone
And just like that, three months have gone by,
And I didn’t think it would be this hard to say goodbye.
But there is not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t think about you,
I stand on the bank on the other side
And look back to where I started
Before I crossed the raging currents
I feel a great sense of relief
The flailing in the water,
I do not like being called a strong woman, it triggers this fear that my above average articulation is just aggression said with a smile, My loud opinions are just outlandish outbursts wearing a dress, that my dedication is just delusion drenched
the day you left
the world still spun
precisely poised in orbit
and time.
no meteor shower or catastrophic event
molested the cosmic drab.
the day you left
we didn't make the headlines.
Once I believed in something real
Had faith in a love I would feel
But that hope I had collapsed and it faded away
Drowned in the darkness of another day
The hope I had disappeared long ago
Last Christmas Eve, I met a man who was homelessm he was all alone.I made a serious mistake when I decided to let him stay in my home.My family and I woke up on Christmas morning and we were sad.
Angry at myself
That I still don't have
the courage to stand up,
I fall back down,
in this blanket of despair,
Way too familiar,
Where I feel secure
Once upon a time,
Darkness prevailed,
Lonliness ensued me,
Despair chased away hope.
Once upon a time,
My heart was a "black hole,"
Questioning my existence,
"How can I go on?"
HOMELESSNESS
Homeless, they are not seeing me.
Some stop and stare in silence
They don't have the word to say, but when
A child reaches out, her mother pulls away
"Do not touch that man!" its his choice to stay.
It's funny how the brain works,
Suddenly reminding me of the abuse I unconsciously tried to forget.
Leaving me alone with the feelings of guilt and regret.
Many politicians vociferously lie
Many politicians either hide or omit the truth
Many times, I sit down quietly in a booth
happy valentine’s day to me
by debi lyn 02/14/22
I've cared & cared so much; tis true,
A stained glass tragedy
A matching crystal ball
Tossed much like that of bowling
Speeding orbs down God's old rumored hall
A new emotion formed out of my mind. A feeling that doesn’t aim to stay in my heart and decay into my thoughts. I used to feel everything all at the same time.They weigh heavy in my mind.Each feeling all were mostly active at the same time I knew
Disgust is in disguise.
In the world's crust, it hides.
But it’s all on us, we normalize.
We adapt to pain to make chains.
And no change.
Oh to love love,Yet be stricken by its sharp pain at every end;I find myself stuck in this seemingly unbreakable cycle.I love to love those who I loveAnd then an end comes
I write or die;
not because skill
was born inside me
rather,
flesh, bones
even blood,
formulate to fail.
Begets a sadness
worth pity
which bores me near,
The tears in your eyes are like steaming rocks on mine.
I cannot tear myself away from what you are feeling, it is too painful and I wish it was I who was suffering.
It's a sharp crack in the air
The grain splits down the middle
A thin line that resembles ruptured cement during an earthquake emerging
A violent tremble pierces the air
It springs eternal-
is that thing with feathers,
exists where there is life...
It is what sustains us-
after the verdict, the diagnosis...
( though these may be grim.)
i wish you would hold me
like you hold that glass bottle
like its the only thing that can comfort you,
the only thing that accepts you,
the only thing capable of keeping your demons at bay
Sometimes she's trapped in a room surrounded by glass, she's dying inside and lets just say the person who put her there, well he doesent doesn't want her to last.
When everything breaks
Everything shatters
My heart in pieces
Scattered
And all the world
So beautiful,
Yesterday
When the heart is unaware
Of the hurting whimpers of despair
The nasty wails don't come out loud
But manage to get suppressed in a shroud
“Silence” he commanded
As he slapped my frozen face
I need a meal for my stomach
I have not eaten in days
Or perhaps it has been longer
Maybe it slips out my ears while I sleep,
the part that's connected to things.Maybe a mask of cool skin's growing over me -
a little blot of flesh at a time.
Nothing in or out.
Like a flower bright and tall
Surrounded by weeds
But shines and never hides
Making it through
Being pulled down to doom
Weeping
Small watery beads fall
like tiny diamonds.
Glittering as the sunlight
sprouts from their surfaces
in prismatic tints.
How ironic it is,
I remember the sight of you,
I hear the timbres of your voice.
I’ve known you,
For a long while.
How ironic it is,
That life gave you to me,
Before snatching you away.
My heart was splattered
blood red over drab stones
gravestone inscription read:
here lies the girl who lost her home
Her heart and her friend
Life without air is a life without life,
dieing in despair is dieing without light,
don't stare at the darkest to long
it will hurt your eyes when the lights turn on,
Pressed to glass, like fine China,
A face I thought at once I knew,
The wonder years are all behind her,
Ripped apart and birthed anew.
Why am I the only one?
Why don't they give up?
I already know how bad I've done
But all I say is ‘suck it up
No one cares that's It's hard
Dancing on the floor
Singing cheerful songs
The world rotates for each movement that is made
Stained in vibrant hue are the lights that illuminate the room
Why is my mind so blank?
The colors that flash before my eyes,
they mean almost nothing to me anymore
I used to dance in the soft orange of a sunset
wade in the blue waters of the distant ocean
Heart pounding too fast,can't breathe,soul locked in the dizzy cageas I spin to the frequency of the world too fast, too loud.It's all crashing down now.I am TNT lit at both ends,
why do you expect me to be okay?
to be okay with your actions,
to be okay with what you say
i'm not
why do you expect me to forget?
the words you told me,
the words you said
i can't
OnceThey loved usNowWe forget the very reason We thought so
OnceThey said they can't live without youNowThat's what they'd rather do
Wanting to explode is an understatment.
No matter the countless attempts to change the way I feel,
this torment of despair continues, relentlessly.
Will cutting oneself be the solution? What if I violently head
I have been in the bowels of hell,
Witnessed the Devil’s breath
And seen the Grace of Angels.
My emotions belong in a cage,
Eventually, slowly, hesitantly plotting a war to wage.
If I ever let them show, let them out, they’ll raise hell,
For the vultures, they ring the dinner bell,
Hope is not a fuzzy feeling.
Hope is not rainbows and butterflies and cupcakes.
Hope is not soft and sweet relief.
Hope is knowing that you can survive
//
i was your flower.
you watched me grow
and admired my beauty
all while knowing
that you were going to kill me
//
Blood rushed down his arm
Just like tears rush down her face
There's fire in his eyes
And an overdose in her veins
Lord help these children, they've dot so much more to live for
I tried to be strong
But strong is not strong,
And crying is not wrong
If it happened again I would be weak
I would not lie down and take it.
I would cry and weep
and make it impossible
for you
I didn’t mean to choose this.
I didn’t ask to feel like this.
But I do.
I want to feel like normal people do, but I realized that I just cannot.
Wide-eyed, glassy stare
Dazed and confused
Reeling, recoiling
from possible
Impossibility
Windmills, grassy fields
Disappearing
Set upon in flames
from those leaders
Such phantoms
Accompany no one else
Such time is spent
In no other hell
The only light is a tiny spark
Behold; a writer in the dark
Trapped and wrought
In a cave so lonely
it is difficult
to have loved someone
who will never feel the same,
because a hopeless love
is the emptiest
and loneliest love
there could ever be.
lessons can be learned,
however,
I had a dream last night, and it got me thinking about you,
You're crying right next to the windowsill, and you say that I don't know how you feel.
Bone crackles
Spirits lift
When the flame drifts
All is lost
No silent tears
No silent fears
When the smoke clears
All is lost
The Earth keeps screaming
Do not say anything,
Not even a word.
Even if you want me to,
I connot ablige.
Untill you have seen,
My life through my eyes.
Lost...Broken... Wandering in a wilderness of despair, Standing in the shadows of shadows becoming invisible again..The glow of the infidelic sun no longer exists...
To my ex-lover,
You were my first real love,
My first serious relationship.
You taught me how to be in a relationship,
How to love,
How to be compassionate,
How to commit.
What is your fear?
We all have fears.
Some of us many,
Some of us few.
I'll tell you mine.
You don't have to tell me yours.
I'll just let loose my heart,
And pray you won't crush it
Speak
Ugly empty silence in my chest
You painful knot of bitterness
Full of regret and accusation
Speak
Each part inside me that dies
Recycle my thoughts
Place them in a box
And set them away in the attic.
Take the good ones
And fog 'em with clouds.
Instead bring the cold ones,
my day-dream dresses like you.
i just thought you ought to know;
nothing i am is true.
this stupid mask is all for show;
sometimes i can barely see through.
right now i can't even make the words flow,
Your smile, the painkillers in my IV, paradise flowing through my veins ,too sedated to stand. My lovely nurse I give you my all and everything I will be, before you put me under, your beautiful face has to be the last thing I see.
Trapped, feeling of emotions that you cannot express. Time breaks down. You see yourself as unwanted flesh that's slowly decomposing into nothingness. If I were to disappear would anyone truly notice?
I try as hard as I can,
to fight this battle,
but sometimes I just can’t win,
and the ennui enshrouds me,
in its dark miasma.
I have retreated, I ran,
away from the sickening prattle,
Some days I am fire, some days I am ice,
Some days I am darkness, curled up in vice,
But all days I am human, all days I am me.
It is for better or for worse you see.
I remember the anxiety during the drive there
The way the sweat raced from my forehead to my cheek
I remember how that awful place looked like a villain’s secret lair
When moods would come and go
And you could never really know
What was happening, why you were crying
Why it felt like you were slowly dying
Inside you felt empty, your heart decayed
you said you understood me;
you said once, that you cared.
you said the sky was my destiny.
and the stars, a crown in my hair.
you told me once, you loved me.
to the world it was declared.
my eyes won't get any less redand my heart won't get any less deadif you were to buy me everything in the world,or lay me down in bed
Trapped inside the wrong era.
I falleth in love with Enheduanna,
Knowing I'll never have courage to speak,
doubt is for the weak!
Or so I was told by mine own mother.
by Damiam Henry on October 29, 2014. © Damiam Vincent Henry, All rights reserved
She gave her life to me.
For me. She gave immortality.
I felt her love so infinitely,
Yet her heart I lost inside the sea.
You caught your breath. Your eyes shifted downwards and upwards and all around the room, as if you were looking for the truth. You pushed your back against the cold wall. You hesitated.
Mechanical gears grinding in a damp room beneath the surface
Metal on metal , ear piercing racket , the noise resonates within
Yet remains muted from above
I am the human embodiment of fear and trepidation.
My body is a reeking cesspool of panic so I lie awake in bed like an earthworm lay on cement and
rot
Tip toeing the trail of self destruction
Teetering on the edge on insanity
Submerged my soul in sulfuric acid
Sewed my eyes shut from reality
It's over when you can't break down
It’s funny how much I’ve changed. I’m 14 years old, sitting in my room, now surrounded by white. White sheets pinned to the walls, white carpet, white dresser. They were blue once, but that has been drained away.
I cant do this anymore,
Death is knocking upon my door.
I cut deeper and deeper,
I see the eyes of the real Grim Reaper.
I wield my blade like a weapon in defense,
Does anyone care what goes on in the world?
With people that hunger and need much care?
They have bloated stomachs and legs all curled,
All shriveled, yet young, and entirely bare.
Hello.
You were wearing a red coat under the blazing heat of the sun that day.
You were running past them, past everything, too.
Something cracked, and my fake smile began to falter,
A voice spoke, but the noise deflected,
Reflected by the wood and stone of an imaginary altar,
But mental images are always dissolving,
My highest aspirations
The ones I hope no longer to be dreams
Threatening with apparitions
Visible and dark beams
Coming to induce fear or perhaps redeem
Sweeping away the emptiness
Emotional healing and heartache, / Her Mother coddle her as if she was / Seven years old, / Red plump cheeks, / Streams of water spilled down / Hitting the tongue in a form of / A salty back-slap of / Betrayal for not being able to / Hold
Quickly fell I down the pit of despair
But at the bottom, I saw a light.
At the end of this tunnel of storms, as I found,
The new day brought peace and delight.
Why at first did it seem like a pit?
When he came into my life
Everything changed like never before
I became someone I despised
I dressed differently
I stopped talking to the people around me
I even strayed away from my classes
What does tomorrow hold?This is the question often asked, but still yet has not been answered. What does tomorrow hold? Let's stop and take a gander. What does tomorrow hold but broken dreams and forgotten promises. What does tomorrow hold? … I'll
Life may be still
Sometimes even ill
There is darkness in every corridor
Creeping up to redeem the souls of the restless
However this feeling should not endure
Each time we kissed felt more passionate than the last, overpowering every molecule that is my body and soul.
Words, shuffling
Perfect ballet
Ribbons, ribbons, ribbons
Choreographed anarchy
Compressing thoughts into a tight tight ball
Until I can't tell what's what
What is what
What is what
Waves
Your silouette was an outline of time, as if time had decided to develop a tongue to speak only in shadow, only of shade.
Kneeling against these creaky doors,Lazily carving incisions,To take back my skin from the pain,Then I decided to spew out,A chalice of apparent relief,And fall into the puddle,Letting the tears benumb the stench,My insides clenched onto the despa
How can we make it through hard times?
Those times when it is hard to put one foot in front of the other
Those times when we are surrounded by darkness and there is no light
I call him , eyes brimming with tears
Struggling to see why
we have to end it like this
We knew it was coming
The Mean Streets of Oz
When the world is spinning out of control like a Kansas tornado,
You cannot simply go back to bed and pull the covers
over your head.
Somebody once said No Man Is An Island,
But I'm on this Island immersed in desolation without you,
My hunger survives off your belligerent smile, as it puts the blazing sun up in my sky
It's those nonsensical possibilities you whisper which floods my being with your eyes
He broke me, dragged me
to his dingy white van
I could not stand, bruised
and waving out of reality
for how could he do this to me
Even that night beneath the stars
Has my heart fallen into the pits of dispair
or have I still yet to learn the basic functionings of breathing
Must I vouch for love for the sake of others as I
Frozen white petals laid beneath my sole
Such despair have an untold trail
Life long lingers of endless love
Together a day of teaseful lust
My grievances await atonement, but it never arrives
I continue to battle the monsters inside.
These macabre beasts from the infernal grave
Lash out and unleash unbridled rage.
I have sent you a dove,
It carries to you a note,
Telling you of my love.
I want to tell you of above,
The skies giving our planet a coat.
"When the darkness rules
And the moon falls apart
The world is made of fools
And it's tearing at my heart
What I've learned is not from school
And I no longer care to start
The ocean expanse is full
I open my eyes to another Hell
As I’m pulled into another restless dream.
I fight the demons though my fears swell
I fight through their torture and schemes.
I’m blinded by an explosion
Have you ever felt like life was over?
though you wish upon a four leaf clover
and pray to God to end the pain
Because you no longer feel sunlight only the cold rain?
I finally move past but the coldness remains
I'm like a pebble
I've never been anything more than something as common as that
However,
it's that very average,
common pebble
that the not-so-average
shoe kicks around.
Rage against the dying world,
Rage against the light,
Rage against the sorrows that bar my heart from flight.
The morning left me winded,
The evening left me bare,
Darkness engulfs,clouded by despair.Surrounding the peacefulness,eroding it from within.Discontent follows,maddened by grief.Unpleasantly distraught,lacking true desire.
She would love to know the time of night that the life in her heart walked away
i feel no pain right now but um sure im sure i will soon
with my heart slwly breaking becyase uts bekiongs to you
and i wont remenbrt this in the morninging
how drunk or how sad i was
What is it to be the one
Who watches their world fall apart before their eyes?
What is it to be innocent
as the ones you love break the walls
and often... -themselves upon them?
The lost of hope in my life
is real.
I sit in the dark thinking
of simpler times
and I dream
of these distant memories
that are fading away.
The hope is gone forever,
Is this how it feels
Like your heart is slowing ripping away
Your mind slowly shutting down
Everything getting blurred
No longer able to hear
Breathing gets labor
Surrounded by adversity;
expected to fall and fail.
The middle child over looked,
Invisible to one and all.
I try to find my place
I try to find my skills;
instead I drown in obscurity,
Waking up day by day,
slowly trying to take the stress away
Days going time by time,
First, you will get knocked down. You will fall short of glory at some point.
Pressure will be obvious. This big, intimidating world will seem to work against you; you may be held at the mercy of others.
The silence that fills his ears mirrors the emptiness that lives within him.Yet the chaos that controls his mindpenetrates as deeply as the scars that litter his skin.
Don't fall
Stand tall
Don't let that step
Be the last
Because there's more to life
Then that
No promises to be made
Of a paradise in the works
(Not here,
Not on Earth)
Put me together and pull me apart
Dissect my insides and play with my heart
Stiches will mend, and stiches will show
The part of me you probably don't want to know.
You told me I couldn't
You called me stupid
You made a "what not to do" example out of me
And here I still stand
Can a stupid kid graduate high school with a certificate in Graphic Design?
The clouds have veins,
at the end of the day, when the sun kisses the edges,
and the purple spreads along the blue, dancing on the white
I want someone to listen to me. Listen to my story and tell me when I’m done “That’s some deep shit you waded through.” And then say nothing.
God help the child,
Silent, scared, unseen,
Confused by life`s lessons,
Hurt by hands he loves.
He does no right.
He does no wrong.
Can he find even one
Who cares
Who sees
It all began on a windy day,
When I held my carved heart on a plate,
And that was when she tapped her heels,
Afraid of the fact I was hollow.
I held my carved heart on a plate,
I didn’t mean to burn the roof we built;
I didn’t mean to watch you grab at ash with desperate tries.
You see, the side that you put up was hammered shut with hulking hope and simple trust,
I try to stay away from you
But you keep on coming back
I see the desperation
but I do not give a flack
You're a crazy creepy stalking pig
who I want far, far away
but you just seem to return to me
Depression is a widow's veil.
A black, looming object..light and wispy, blowing with every change of the wind.
It's flowery design serves to hide the pain and agony that lies beneath.
one, moment that changed our lives.
as you told me the news
Holding my hand
Two seconds for it to sink in
I let the tears fall
three days before you left
walking away from us leaving
What i feel
Is nothing at all
What I am
Is nothing at all.
Nothing is me
I am nothing.
I'm just a stone
Falling off a cliff.
You're the one who threw me off.
Why?
Down, from my sleep to the floor,
I came tumbling down.
The wind and waves caught the ship
And whipped her stern around.
Has a person ever seen such darkness?
What makes this real?
Tender kisses and blind movements,
All just to feel.
It is dark
Like a crow’s wing
Thick
Like despair
There is no one
Like the world died
Empty
Like a pot
Pain is stretched
Like a rubber band
Resonating
If I could change something
I'd change the way you look at the world.
I'd turn the scars on your arms into butterlies and kiss marks.
i'd make you smile every night before you wen to bed.
he lived the way it snows in mid-October
when the slivers of the moon float down from the clouds
into the transparent haze that we call the atmosphere
but the thing about October snow
You start from who you are;
Sweet, innocent, and caring. people ask and you say you're ok but no one knows how you're truly faring.
Heavy and smudged sky,
and drops on the window.
My brain pulses,
and my heart swells.
It weighs down on the space between
morals and the vices of feeling.
Don’t mind me
I’m really ok
I just don’t want to be awake
All I ever do is make mistakes
Don’t find me
I’m running away
I just don’t want to be
Someone like me
From a distance much to great,
He silently seals his fate.
With a rush of the tide,
He loses the feelings he tried to hide.
His head spins,
Black and Blue
Do you ever get a clue?
Black and red
do you know how much i bled?
black and green
You were always too keen
Black and yellow
Afterwords, you were always so mellow.
Words are unspoken,
Things are not said,
But everything she feels is stuck in her head.
The sighs of a hurting, broken heart
Her feelings inside tear her apart.
Words that whisper,
It's extremely loud in here,
Though you do not hear it from there.
You may not be able to tell,
There are a lot of arguments
And the music is always up too loud.
Though the words spoken, shake,
I Fight,
I Fight For The Light.
I Fight For Those Sitting Their Room,
Crying At Night, Holding That Knife,
And Wishing They Died.
I Fight For The Ones Who Lost Hope,
Broken bottles
lining the window seels
where pictures should be
where crosses should be
liquor soaking in the walls
yet not absorbing the blows
virbration from the seel decore
Three am and I'm in that park.
The trees rustle in the breeze
I'm here to meet a man
Not a sleeze.
Little do I know he's a human shark.
That's the hardest part.
He meets me halfway
Dark and cold yet hot as the same time. That’s how I imagine it.
One big fiery pit. Lava spewing onto the surface of the sun.
Ghouls and demons.
I think about it every time,
It's all I think about,
How to kill; and when to kill,
Knife of rope?
I search for a blade to slit the ever flowing blood; cascade,
look at yourself
look at your thighs
do you really believe
people would care if you died
your eyes are to small
and your stomach too round
feel the adreniline pumping?
Alone in the chilling void,Feeling emotionless as a metallic droid.Why am I here?Why can't I stop these vast rivers of tears?Never been so afraid, so cold;Yet, I see a fluttering, red light, so vivid and bold.
Full of stress, full of fear.Working so hard, full of determination.A need to express, to make it clear.Eternally scarred, by the implication.Of failed success, so severe.
Staring at walls, out of mind
Dark despair calls, like no other kind
Shadows swirling, thoughts racing
Emotions twirling, no point in chasing
I had a bestfriendHer name was MiaShe gave me tips to ease the painHeld back my hair as I threw up my sinsTaught me how to gag quietlyTold me to never eat hot things
The girl who seemed unbreakeable...
...broke.
The girl who seemed strong...
...crumbled.
The girl who always smiled...
...cried.
And the girl who never gave up...
...quit trying.
Bad with talking,
Not with writing,
Feels like everything flying,
Come to ground in a sudden halt,
With everything that was her fault.
No amount of sorry can change the way,
She has betrayed,
It flew through my open door
screeching no more, no more.
That big black bird of yore.
Bringing with it its despair
its regret fogging up the air.
Screaming no more, no more.
We started out on cloud ninewe never imagined being apartwe were forever, we were together.We had it all planned out, right down to the day we said I Do.But then the hate startedthe stress
Pain is temporary but welcome it's relief where hurt once stood its a cold blade and a restless night a breeze that blows just a shy to cold pain is me mum doing nothing as I'm used pain is me dad turning me into his whore pain is me friends leav
I remember you.
Those eyes you have are like fire. They haunt me, yet I cannot bring myself to take my own eyes off of the impossible flame of yours.
I cannot say what I wish to say. The words stick in my throat. You don't question me; I don't tell you. Perhaps if you asked, you would know. But because you don't ask, I'll die with these things inside of me. These words I'll never say.
School is a place where I love to go,
Where I stare at a board so my mind will grow.
I love it so much I could go all year,
Yeah, that's right, no sarcasm here.
I love how I learn just what my teachers say,
I am not a number.
I am not a rank out of my class, which is a bummer.
I am not a number on a four-point scale.
I am not just a student, and I like to rebel.
I am a person.
Always last in Gym Class,
I Never stood a chance in Debate.
Immediately chosen for any Group task,
That science Fair was a piece of Cake.
Teachers love me,
Oh how they praise me.
Others not so much,
Everyone’s a rebel,
we all want to change the system.
We all shout until our throats are sore
but the government won’t listen.
School funding is paid by
the local property taxes.
T'Was the Christmas season,
Where a little boy glees with reason.
He's filled with joy,
As he waits for hid favorite toy.
The little boy couldn't wait,
but it was just too late.
Allow me to clear my throat first
Ahem,
Fuck you, English Teacher, with the same capital F
You gave me on that paper you refused to accept
I know my ABCs and my punctuation
Words of honey can lead to arrogance,
And words of vinegar often sting.
It is your job to educate and enrich,
Judge and be judge.
Welcome to high school, where this rule won’t budge.
We all try to be that one-in-a-million;
Well good luck, in this world of four fucking BILLION.
You’re feeling insecure
Don’t know what for
You have everything
That others dream for
You are beautiful, strong, and pure
Fond memories, led astray
No glimpse of hope, such disarray
Scornful judgment brings out a beast, so tame
Blinded by its fear, naught bravery remain
Tearing at the wounds that reject
In the valley of the Shadow of Death,
There’s no place to hide, no place to rest.
The demons there, haunting your every step.
Choking you ‘till you have no breath.
The light at the end of the tunnel
When your pain is tangible
You can reach out and touch it.
It’s everywhere, consuming you.
You don’t even realize how lon_____g
it’s been eating away at your insides, until
they finally cave in and c
Nights of terror seem to pass
And days of sorrow fade.
In every moment that I laugh
I slowly crawl out of the shade.
Bits and pieces start to form
But some parts are still gone.
Hey you…
Yeah, you.
The girl with all the scars and stories to tell.
The boy who sits alone in the corner,
The child with a black eye from “falling down the stairs”,
I’m here for you,
Now and forever.
Curling tight
my back facing the sun
knees to my eyes
and hands held tight
feet tucked under
pressed into the wall
hiding
fearing
not willing to face the day
The bright moon filled the sky with light
Only to be obscured by the city’s gleam
It seemed to set the entire world ablaze
And there was nothing that the moon could do
A vacant vessel, void of hope or faithA sundered soul, despairing, dying, lostSo it remains, a restless, roving wraithUntil it can collect for Charon's cost.
The clang of a single coin in an empty tin
Alerts the man to sadly look down.
He fishes out the nickel
Holding it up to the light
Dreaming of what it must feel like
I’d like to imagineI can still feel the sting
of the day she let go;clipped my wings with a word and said, Fly.
I’d like to imagineI can wax lyrical and triumphant
one more night;
I’m waiting for someone to rescue me
I turn and pray endlessly
Where has innocence gone to?
This world is plagued by darkness
and no way to restore it
alone and unwanted is all she ever felt
just her and her mom to take on the long nights
the most pain she has ever delt
she sites a father and his daughter surrounded with the glowing lights
An ocean of my blood and tearskilling me with my own fears.I let myself drownin all this misery.You can trybut I won't let you save me.
The glass lost its grip
And my veins lost their insistent murmur.
My heart no longer pounding
I spoke my words into the air
My throat strangling, mangling
Sounds I would never release
But the immaculate future must wait
There is nothing left within us, they say,
And our time well spent is a delusion
No longer is this a world to cherish,
No more must we believe in stories once told—
Accusations to self-realizations do wither convictions of mine
I doubt my motives, facades, my devotions, my own I can't seem to find
Oh deep inside of me there is
an uncertainty that I must grip
Sorrow
My heart is slowly breaking into two pieces.
Nobody can hear my silent screams to my daddy, telling him to take me home.
Insecurity filled the teenager
With agony, pain and woe.
This emptiness will take her
To a place where happiness is low.
Heavyset is how they described her
So she focused on losing weight.
As time goes on my worries grow into an abyss,
One where I can never be at rest from it.
It nags at me in the back of my mind telling me that I have to do it now
I can't help but feel that something's offYou avoid meFor reasons that I cannot seeI feel like the third wheelWas what we had before surreal?
Please just let me go homeI can't stay hereNothing satisfiesI can't even eatThe sight of food makes me sickI just really want to leave
I stare at the dark abyss of my bedroomDaydreams flow through my headAnd I wonderA question that has bugged me for years
Why I Hurt
What is this pain in my chest?I'm supposed to be better nowOver it
But I guess I still hurtBecause no matter whatThings will never be the wayThey used to be
Supplementary:
Something extra, excess, not needed
Et c’est le même en Français aussi
Like desert
Or when you’re doing something worthwhile
But no one is there to see it
No one will ever know
Barbaric desire, despair’s impulse,
Flesh of flesh in incoherent rhythm,
Unknown but known
Then seen never again,
That which feels to protect.
The voice of the clock ticks
As I sit & think
My time begins to shrink
Sitting in a room full of desperstion & need
Trying to put all the beeds onto one string
I wonder when will my light glow brighter than our sun.
Am I just a star? already shining bright but oh so far.Moving ever so quickly and changing ever so slowly
Doesnt matter if you get a head start. The world's biggest dumbass was, at one point, smart. Look back at what you were. Now you're confused by your very own words. A slip up made you fall down. Can't climb back up. Sit there and drown.
Hello. My name is Hunger and, I'm a whore.
I think I've seen many of you here before...
Allow me to explain.
When the land, kisses the sunlight
And, day turns into night,
Doc says I should start writing down my thoughts,
Says it might help me to find the root of my problems and in turn, the road to recovery.
Well, last night, I let old habits visit me and I woke up,
I feel alone in this empty shell
no one knows my hell
I thought I had control
But you wouldn't leave me alone
now I'm stuck in this house
You're a cat I'm a mouse
If I'm alive
To whom will I go when I have found no one?When will I be of need to those who have everything?If every whole is filled, which hole do I fill?Or am I already found? Am I already of need?
I'mlost in a melody,grasping at diaphanous notesand a hand that neverlet go
I'mcomposing songsthat people love,but there's somethingthey don't know
I am from the southern part of Dayton, Ohio.
I am from my dad and granddad because my dad has anger management
And because my grandparents didn't want children,
And when I was born I was real sensitive on the inside
Ever feel like your trapped
In a bottomless hole so deep
but yet comfortable to your new surrounding
familiar with the dark walls
and the ordinary smell
that become your only companions
Black runs like the river
Mixing with the fallen red already on the ground
Swirling, eerily, on the black pavement
Clear drops fall,
Some the pure of rain,
Others heavy & laden with salt
I'm supposed to be where wings are made but I'm not sure how to fly yet.
When will that person come, to show me how to get to that place yet unknown?
That place where in my dreams is revealed but in life is classified.
succombing under the waves,
grasping,
reaching,
searching for a lift
for something to push me over the swirling waters.
ice pouring through my veins.
fire pouring out from my eyes.
my bones,
We were broken from the start
Ill made molds from our beginning
Bits and pieces of fears and failures
Make our chemical make-up
We will not bow
We are broken, not defeated
She let her heavy eyes sink closed as the salty ocean air washed over her, enveloping her in it's cool embrace.With each breath, the darkness inside of her melted away. But just as quickly as it left, it returned, crawling it's
There was something dark,
Something dreadful,
Lurking through the halls.
- a spirit!-
Malicious with disturbing desires,
Like a shadow, it followed
From room to room.
Such a monstrous creature
The interpretation of a world without pain.
Angels would sing
The light of their song reaching brave to bold
Young and the old
Of a new hope rising!
The angelic decree of the heavenly beasts
All it took was one shot
For you to spiral down the drain
‘Cause though you may have fought
You couldn’t evict the pain
All it took was one thought
For you to decide it was time
Hot street and my soles are melting
Not a soul in sight and what a sigh of relief as my feet are on fire
A stroll across the sun would be nice today.
Oh how my lovely weathered memories are scattered across the floor. How they come rushing through as I sit and ponder. What will the winds of time bring past my door?
Hit the floor running, that's what they say
But there's only so far you can run
In this bricked up place with these
tiled floors filled with sickness, sad-
ness, and sterilization. But that's why I'm here:
The Pain Inside me breaks my soul in piecesMy parents are fighting everydayMy lover left me for deadAnd there's no one who even cares So They Don't really know what they are talking aboutI find different ways to ease the pain that's inside meBut t
I walk with no soul and mind, just the thought of youI walk with no gold or silver, just a dead rose in my hand The moon doesn't smile tonightTonight i walk with Demons from HellThe Sun won't set me free no moreI am alone and will never be remembe
what if God took away the moon?will we ever see the night sky the same or different?if so, what would be the difference?will the dark side of the earth be ever luminated naturally at night?would we be more dependable on light to bright the night?
If I wandered into a bar and got drunk,
I would leave feeling pleasured and great,
Only to find my head spinning the next day.
Surely there is more to life.
I listen, awake and aloneOn a bed intended for two.The clock clangs out twelve forlorn tonesAs midnight comes in view.
The wild outburst of love
Led me to times where I endlessly write
It was an urge to bring out the emotions
That I continuously chose to fight
L-o-v-e, a blessing or heartbreak, we all may not retain
Her beauty doth shine as ‘twould make the sun
Itself seem as though ‘twere but a mere coal.
A match for her, there is never a one,
Only if my memories could take shape
Then I would be holding you again in my embrace
Your words still beckon me so
Though only heard what seems like seconds ago
The distance between us is so vast
Sometimes people lose themselves-
in themselves.
Swimming through blockaded passageways
of unchanneled thought and emotion,
searching for a discord.
Why do I write?
Someone may ask,
See me I write,
Cause there's no one that can understand,
Unsurpassed, unwavering, unthinkable fear. There is no assurance of tomorrow. Any known stability, ripped from my grasp. The voices without end. There is no escape! They will be coming for me. Too late!
I came to you one humid spring night
You taught me how to appreciate life, because
You are death and death is all I see
You are tall, dark, violent, endlessly mysterious but blatant with your lies
To be, or not to be,
That is the true question.
Whether it is or was nobler to express yourself,
Without having to be judged by others on if you're "normal or not"
When darkness has crept over blue heavens
And your name has swept like Rumor through my mind,
No song, no sight can ease anger's weapons
And no hope of this storm's end can I find,
When confusion sets
And you lose your bets
The world blinks in stone;
When guardians fail
And morals pale
You think you're all alone.
When leaders fall
And sickness crawls
Wasting away.
Lost.
Lonely.
I run at any sign
of someone trying to
talk me out of my nonsense.
I'm so deep within the black
that the white seems hideous.
Threatening.
What is despair?
I have seen it.
Is it when a woman looks at her child
And realizes she can’t feed her
Is it when a poor black girl in the ghetto of Brooklyn
Can’t go to college
I’m afraid,
To let people
See the tears roll uncontrollably
Down my face
Each one mimicking the last.
And, I don’t want
To have to face them
And show them that I feel.
Upon each wingéd criticism float
hollow sadness extending infinite within,
devouring seeming core of self eroded,
still suspended in earthly bondage.
Feeling a depth of despair inescapable,
an entangled mindweb is my dwelling
and my tongue tastes of bitter longing.
In days to come I write of hope,
I write of beaming white.
I scrawl of joy and scribble truth,
and smiling, sweet aloof.
The truth of forgiveness is a loving embrace:
once seeming lost, warm radiant beheld
of passive serenity gathered its force.
Tell me, have you ever had to lie?
Have you ever had to cry?
Have you ever fought for approval of your peers?
Have you ever tried to fight your fears?
If you have, it’s okay. I will catch your tears.
In the depths of my mind,
I envision my own world.
Its beauty is flawless.
There is nothing but starry skies
and peace that only paradise
can provide.
That day, I saw your despair and
Skipping lines and skipping parts
Do you know wherethebegginingstarts
Feel the constant beating of your heart.
Then all of a sudden.
It falls apart
Lost ambitions
Abandoned hopes and dreams,
A feeling that no one believes,
Questioned Faith,
Borrowed time,
A cold emptiness inside,
Deep Bitterness,
A whole that's bottomless,
You feel alone,
When we met you said you were dangerous,
A word like licking knife blades, razor sharp;
Dancing in silk slippers on an icy-slick roof-edge.
You said it to sound dark and brooding,
A walk on the wrong side of the tracks.
It starts off slow, a tugging at the heart.
A sort of deep ache welling up within the subconscious
Something that cannot be expressed in words
You see them talking, laughing, but not
like they care if you see
