30 minutes till midnight
Nearly 30 years of sunlight
Fears coming out wrong not right
Solid motion, blubbering moon
Symbolic devotion, composing false tunes
Delusive seclusion conducive to stop
Well down-reaching ropes are choking your throat
He's fighting a note inducing fake hope
Surely no-one knows a secret to cope
This beacon's eloped
My pain is a throne for demons outshone
Apologies for incomplete liabilities
Your life it holds much more meaning, because you have the strength to see
I can't go on
Okay, so I didn't know how this would start, but I wanted to write something.
Writer's block can do that to you. I wasn't expecting to do anything more than Cannon Fodder Poetry,
but by the sixth line, I realized this was about suicide.
I've held a suicide note in my hand after a loved one took her own life. That kind of thing isn't easily forgotten.
I've had a couple of cries for help. I once took a whole bottle of anti-depressants and after the last pill was down, I called 911. My best friend was across the hall while I sat in the bathroom popping the pills.
He had no clue. There isn't always an early warning.
Another time, I made an attempt to drink my life away. Literally. I quickly drank a 5th of Patron, the remaining half 5th of Jose Cuervo, a bottle of champagne, and what little else I could locate in the house. Being broke may have very well saved my life that night, because I had only one target.
Death by alcohol.
I was admitted to the psychiatric ward that night, and the next nine days were a living hell.
When I was discharged, I irrationally trusted no one. I felt helpless, but the drugs I was prescribed kept me mindless enough to not kill myself. As someone that has been on some sort of prescription since elementary school, I can say that sometimes I view mood stabilizers as life support.
This is how I see it for MYself.
The same may or may not be true for you or others you know. I want nothing more than to live a life with true happiness, unaided by chemicals. Yeah, I'm happy right now, but would I be without mood stabilizers? Every time I go without my medication for extended periods, I end up in the hospital for some physical or mental reason or another.
The final point here, is, walk in someone else's shoes before you tell them right from wrong. The rationale behind suicide is no exception. That is why I get angry when people scorn/slander instead of help those who are contemplating suicide.
No :) I'm not offing myself, I just needed to explain my perspective on one very mistreated, deliberation.
Think before you act.