A new emotion formed out of my mind. A feeling that doesn’t aim to stay in my heart and decay into my thoughts. I used to feel everything all at the same time.They weigh heavy in my mind.Each feeling all were mostly active at the same time I knew all the familiar pains and joys that shaped me the way I am. Or the way I was. But your nature never change.But people may want it to. Everything I said was heard misguided. Every call I yelled was gaslighted.I showed you all the signs but they all were nearsighted. Who is them written in my poems you might ask.Well, it's all of them.Only 2 types of them.The neutral naive them and the evil them.And maybe even the naive evil.But all the good is dead and chaos is the only thing that lives.And I am the chaotic empty that I thought I had found a new feeling but I realized it was nothing..it was nothing but dramatic and emotional. It was an emotion that lost itself when it locked itself it feels chaotic and empty like me.But I battle this emotional apathy to keep it to getter but unlike the other emotions, it feeds off of fighting against it because it doesn’t care.This feeling doesn’t care about your feelings it does what it wants.I used to have too much empathy but I learn how to blend it in with apathy to protect myself from my meltdowns to insanity. Because They used me when I'm week now they got what they wanted theirs no life to beat out me they left me lifeless but still they never satisfied.So what is the point to sacrificeSo why not for once since a long time I let it be.Like I remember for a second I’m living for me.