STRUGGLES
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It was black like the left side of the moon
I wanted to love the darkness, the abyss
Like on a tragic stormy afternoon
I hate how much I love the night rides
Some folks see her in the window,
just a shadow standing there.
Some folks hear her in the morning
when she sings her daily prayer,
but they’ve never really met her
and she likes it just that way.
Life is like a Leaf
It always likes to move
some may think its strange
but when oyu find your groove
youll never want to leave.
its like a small piece of heaven
filled with struggles and delights
I cried.
I sobbed.
My whole body shook and trembled from my cries.
Thoughts bounced back and forth in my burning mind.
It was non-stop.
“A mastermind in disguised by the sins of shattered glass, luring you in by its reflections, leaving you with painful thoughts, false confidence and shame.
Becoming your own person is a crime punishable by death
No one cares about your mental health
Put your feelings on a shelf
Focus on achieving wealth
They want you to sit and accept their shit
Becoming your own person is a crime punishable by death
No one cares about your mental health
Put your feelings on a shelf
Focus on achieving wealth
They want you to sit and accept their shit
Power. The power of motivation. Establishing the works of devotion
Through the power of demonstration
Reaching for the sun
I quickly look away
Unable to run
From the day
But when I look again
I see the moon
Smiling at my friend
I feel content and swooned
You’re pretty… he saysfor a dark-skinned girlI usually don’t talk to your kind.am I supposed to feel honor?you hopped of your pedestal, down to mine?
Long ago, as a child,
Life struggles were simple.
The struggle of not doing what I wanted.
What a surprise when I grew up!
Adults can do what they wish,
At 1 year old, I said my first word. “Mama”, I said in bold, thinking I was already old.
At 3 years old, my parents told me goodnight stories; stories of dreams,
How long would it take
For an anchor to sink?
How long would it take
If I was the anchor?
What if the waves
crashing above
Were the daily struggles
I was meant to face
Wandering through life
Losing touch with reality
Facing your problems
What is this
You can't stand to see
It started out with one
Became two
Then three
They come and they come
My mind was jumbled, like a puzzle piece trying to fit into a mold
that wasn’t shaped for me.
Trying to come up with the reason as to
why I couldn’t be both.
Tell me all your stories
of all the things you've seen
Tell me about your struggles
Tell me what they mean
Tell me about your past
And where you got your scars
Tell me about your walls
i swear the shadows take me,
just like i swear that i am fine.
i swear that i am hopeless
but i swear that i am trying
i swear to lift my head up
when others push it down
i swear i know my place
You came into my life unexpected
You brought me truth resurrected
A broken fool, I was
A falling stone; lost cause
You gave me hope
You showed me love
You never took no, wouldn't let go
Dear life,
You are beautiful. All of the trials; all of the struggles.
She just lost her unborn baby due to violence. She had been hoping for a girl.
you think a lot
you think about the space above
the planets and stars
when you're sad and alone
oh how you wish to be a star
you bet stars don't have to deal
with what you have to deal
with
Shot down while I was broken still healing from the words unspoken.
As the situations raging,
I’m just flipping through His pages.
Ultimately His words are the best to find healing and rest.
Sometimes,
i lose hope.
sometimes the pressure is too much
sometimes
the memes are too dank for me
for my family
for my community
for us all
so i must share them
BUT!
I am cold with three blankets on
There is frostbite gripping at my toes as I pull them in close
The first reminds me of the time the power went out
Will they ever know how much they mean to me?
How even on the hardest days they could make me smile?
When I was at my worst
when I had no reason to go on,
when I was done with the world,
America. The land of the free and home of the brave? No, you're only really free if your skin isnt past a certain kind of shade, and apparently the brave are the ones who openly and continuously exercise their right of the second amendment.
Lifting my eyes to the sky above me,
I enjoyed one last glimpse of the light.
And as I prepared my heart, in came the clouds of darkness
To surround me in a seemingly endless night.
The changes I see
were only meant to be.
God has a plan,
always told, but not a big fan.
Young naïve, no understanding
of what I should do.
Reassured was I,
that everything was fine.
The new year calls for change
The new year calls for better
Physically, mentally, eternally
Living a never-ending battle
365 unpredictable days gone
We started the year shaky and unstableFighting, never understanding or ableI tried to help you move past itI tried to show you by burying the hatchetHowever you still couldn't move on
The low thumping beat in my brain,
Is featured with depressing lyrics.
I feel the need to cry,
Yet I restrain.
That was my first song of 2016.
The past year has been a tornado of new and old feelings.
I have learned lessons and matured because life decisions make you.
I dream of being happy in life but sometimes its not an easy route.
January – Just establishing new year resolutions, just dreaming about who I want to be, just looking back over the past year
The Beginning.
I never really understood life
This constant process looking for a drive
Not taking in what was achieved
But looking at the future and old please
I learned that life is a game
Some people more constrained
I journeyed through the world, overland and overseas. I was born where the sun never sets and never rises. I was purged out into a place, where the heat became my second skin.I went through thick and thin, and I became an African prince.
So close yet so far, to freedom and death.
Freedom from hurt, pain, abuse, chains, bruises, tears, fights, cuts, offensive words, breakdowns, loneliness and depression.
how does it feel to float
float high
high
higher into the air
you feel free, don’t you?
you are a balloon
Have you ever seen a Flower
A Single Blooms every Hour
But when comes the shower
They fight
Instead of soaring up like a kite
They became a revolting sight
Lowering themselves without delight
Thank you, Mother
The greatest gift you have given me are my sisters and my brothers
How many times have you lied to protect us?
A day didn't pass by that when we didn't make a fuss
I lost myself. Why? Why do you do this to me? Constantly blinding my eyes, clouding my mentality, forcing my heart to beat faster. Why? Why do you allow this to happen?
You say you love me,
And you say you care,
But how can I believe you
When you're never there?
I never see you anymore;
You're never at any of my events.
You're supposed to care about me!
This is for the kids who walk in the hallways with thier eyes cast towards the floor
This is for the kids who play alone on the playground during recess, kicking the wood chips beneath your sneakers, waiting for that bell to ring
Starting college has been
pretty fucking hard
if I'm going to be honest with you.
Going from straight A's
to struggling for C's
when I've never had to study before this
takes a lot out of me.
There is beauty
in everything
in life, in death, in whatever comes before
but beauty mostly resides
inside of a heart
The Monster locked inside this mirror is full of deception,
Deceived by a world full of hate and conception.
No where to turn to get a gasp of air,
There are no self righteous that are godly or fair.
And all the bones they carried
Became too heavy of a burden
With every sunrise it haunted them
Daunted them
Taunted them
Thinking of control
Makes me quiver and upset
I mean who wants to leave a life were
Pretty much YOUR LIFE is determined
By
Everyone ones own aspirations,Dreams,& concepts.
Leave, go out of me
You’re the thing that kills me
You let all my friends see
And then they leave
Struggles are road blocks in your ways
Some go away fast,
Some go away slow
I would like to say they won't hurt you
But then I would be lying to you.
I have gone through struggles all my life
Around me four
[Walls]
Surrounded by four
[Walls]
If they could speak
What would they say?
I look around my messy life
And try not to whine or cry
I choose here and now to fix it up
Not wallow until I die!
I'll start with schoolwork- such a chore
The textbooks just bring me tears
Without the filters who am I?
Without the filters will I die?
Millions persuaded to become something they're not, only to find that out that what's inside....has changed a lot.
I've made mistakes,
But they don't define me.
I have regrets,
But I am not what I've done.
I have secrets,
But they're part of my past.
Come dawn,
And come day.
Our bodies are nothing but sacred battle grounds.Our ribs wrap around our chests to ensure that no one else feels the earth-shaking explosions that rock our cores. Our muscles ache and strain just to keep every struggle confined and hidden.
Like stars we are born
Proud and loud
But as time goes on
Some will fade
While others shine with waxing strength
One white kid in the whole neighborhood
All my friends spoke Spanish but still I knew the truth
That every one of us wants the same exact thing
To find a safe haven and to have a family
Time goes by so quickly there was little time to contemplate the joy we had in our daily lives
We hardly thought of our loved ones and our friends because our hectic life had no room for it
Yesterday I thought I was dead
My pen was gone
My brush had disappeared
My brain was lost
The clouds were gray
And the sky was black
The rivers were full of blood
Twinkle Twinkle
Big bright star
Our precious baby
you`re not so far.
When I`m sad
and feeling alone,
I close my eyes and know
you`re in heavens home.
Every day my heart aches,
The struggles that seem to always fall, no matter whether they are BIG or small. Struggles always seems to find my way.
As I ruminate over everything my parents had done for me
I declare in my thought, before it slips, it gets caught
I will repay them back for the hardwork they did so I can be here, now
no no no !
it cant be happening again PLEASE NO !
leave me alone, get your hands off me, please leave me alone !
deep breaths, sweating, the hands reaching out of the walls
no no no !
it cant be happening again PLEASE NO !
leave me alone, get your hands off me, please leave me alone !
deep breaths, sweating, the hands reaching out of the walls
I stand in the middle of the storm,
Thunder roaring, rain pouring.
What’s this burden that we’re forced to play?
The game in which we will lose at anyway.
I stand in the middle of the storm,
I recall a time not long ago...
When I sat amongst the sand,
When the waves broke on the shore,
And the sun baked my hands.
I recall a time I lay,
Utterly at peace.
A time long before,
I am a good person. Im telling myself that because I know I am a good person. Well, to be self-honest, to keep the truth before my tired eyes: maybe its just my appearance. My persona is often oppressed and affected by other personas.
Oh struggle, my true friend and enemy
Oh how you ruthlessly hurt and help us
Oh my hated foe and valued ally
Oh what a paradox you are thus
You give us both triumph and tragedy
There grows a boulder
On the path that I walk
Rock grows on my skin
So I am tough
Trying to find a new
All of the sudden it appears
A detour, a way
I start the new knowing,
Time passes by
"I've never done this before can we just take it slow?"
"Yeah don't worry girl i'll be gentle."
"Wait.. you have a condom right?"
"Nah but it's ok I'll be sure to pull out...."
Walls may be thick
but the voices are louder.
The sobs of a child
bellow through the door,
Sending pain through my heart
A world without pain
Would be a sweet summer day
No more hurt
No more sorrow
No more wishing to look like the worlds definition of beautiful
A world without pain
Would be a comforting song
There is no day as was such yesterday,
There was time to whistle and scream,
with all the gleefulness of being gay.
How happy those longs lost day seem to be,
as we stand on the cliff looking over seas.
The struggle that I'm fighting from within
Which continues from day's beginning and night's end
I know no one will ever understand,
I hear a faint dissonance travel
You again, in homely tears
I am the wet nurse at your disposal;
So, let me be drained by the frenzy of desperation . . . .
Crusade along the barren land,
The glass spreads
in my sight, shimmering.
It’s so smooth and still
I can see my face. And
so I sit on the banks
of the stagnant world
below me and close my
eyes. I listen to the
I see the students
running through the halls.
I can feel the stress
brought on by life.
I see girls trying to hide the rips on jeans.
I see people hiding strips of hair colour
brought on by a need
My Brooklyn is Park Slope filled with perfectly aligned brownstones and mom and popshops;
It's the kids who constantly invite me to Prospect Park to smoke a joint,
The scarf that rests upon my head
In Arabic, "Hijab"
May seem to some a fearful threat
Mysterious to some.
The names, the teasing. Whispering.
The silence of my tongue replies
You and me,
We had amazing memories,
Staying up listening to Miley,
Talking about our parties.
Blaring out to your music,
Singing to the lyrics we know,
You yelling at me to choose it,
As day turns to night we suffer as we try to get though life. Our struggles may be different from anothers. We may not always see their struggles.
I am just a little girl,
A tiny little thing.
I've got a scary monster,
Hidden within.
The monsters came out,
From under my bed,
And those monsters crawled out
And into my head.
That old book, in the corner, dusty and left behind. That is God to me. That book will always be there for me and anyone who needs him.
A long seventeen years ago, there were things I had to forgo, moving around from place to place, the kids at school would never see a smile on my face, every other week going from house to house, staying still and quiet as a mouse, I didnt know w
Who Am I?
Confused, Terrified, Unworthy Inside
Smiles, Bright, Cherished Outside
Does everyone think this way or Is it just me?
As the starting point of a child's book is about to unwrap here to see.
She is mysterious
Yet comes in many ways
She works for an eternity
Works with no mercy
She's an awesome multitasker
She never rest
She causes broken families
Shes heartless, and ruthless
I stumbled upon you by pure coincidence,yet, I believe in that momnet you devoured my soul.You were the answer to all of my hopes and prayers,another half to make my heart whole.
An ocean of my blood and tearskilling me with my own fears.I let myself drownin all this misery.You can trybut I won't let you save me.
Sober Thoughts,You're just wasting my time.Grab the bottle,It was in the back of your mind.In the darkened place,Where I always hide.Drown it out,A waveless tide.
I'm on this path to my pursuit of happiness
trying to get back to that place where a smile wasn't rare
remembering my days as a child
a time of pure carefree bliss
death was just a word
I have a dream,
Similar to Martin Luther King,
I want us all to succeed.
The words, "We have finally made it" to be uttered through our hearts,
Shared by
Our differences,
What is college
Why should you go
Is it pointless
What does it show
Getting a higher education
Staying in school
Focusing on your career
What could you lose
Just your time
Home is my burning desire.
My soul has been set on fire.
Feelings of lost hope.
I am on a downward slope.
Dreams crushed as no tomorrow,
With none left to share or borrow.
Aromas of the unknown,
Company,
Mindless thoughts to tell them,
Saying what you think.
Bright one early Sunday,
He took my hand in his claiming it.
Choppy words and sounds,
Playing through the day,
I want to love you,
but I feel like we rushed.
Two months went too quickly.
It left me thinking, "Is this lust?"
You said it was more,
and with me you did agree,
and getting "us" back
Its crazy to go from a gangster to a christian
A loud mouth to a listener
A gun toter to a bible holder
A brother fighter to a man molder
To go from ripping and running the streets
To hymnals moving my feet
I can't help but feel that something's offYou avoid meFor reasons that I cannot seeI feel like the third wheelWas what we had before surreal?
Please just let me go homeI can't stay hereNothing satisfiesI can't even eatThe sight of food makes me sickI just really want to leave
I stare at the dark abyss of my bedroomDaydreams flow through my headAnd I wonderA question that has bugged me for years
Why I Hurt
What is this pain in my chest?I'm supposed to be better nowOver it
But I guess I still hurtBecause no matter whatThings will never be the wayThey used to be
this place you call home, well it’s burning you down
find a place for change, take a chance, invent hope
you’re more than what you do and where you are
you’re beautiful.
Everyone has a time in which they question themselves,
Question thier very existance.
It can make the strongest and happiest people crack.
When you feel like your life is shattered glass
I sit with a post it,
Willing the words from my sophomoric mind,
And they do not come,
For I have nothing to say.
Wandering Words
A violin has potential to awaken a heart with her lovely tune
Just as words have the potential
To free someone
The pain that I felt over the years
The kind that brought those silent tears
The more I saw my heart break
The less of a women in myself I thought I could make
Many times I thought I fought my love
Broken streets mind is forced to travel,
Empty soul enforced to search.
Trembling hands hunt for redemption,
Merely paper they unearth.
Lips begin to quiver
As crystal escapes at last,
He writes poetry,
He writes art.
Poetry brings out the loud voice within him,
Poetry was the elation he needed during those dark moments in high school.
Yes, poetry was his anti-depressant. His drug.
The 5 senses I was blessed with became my curse
I saw, I felt, I smelled, I heard, i tasted what my life offered me
My hopes, thoughts, and dreams became deflected
As I sit in my room I ponder the many reasons why I write.
A ponder and wonder and think for a moment.
I have many reasons, and I shall try to be contrite....
I write to escape.
Poetry
What it meant to me before
Just words written in a stanza
With rhymes and patterns
I knew that they’re art expressed in words
They just need a lighthouse keeper
some light to pull them into
and a person to hold the light steady
steady for them to see
and follow
steady like a tree
a tree that stands tall in the forest
With my head held high
And my hijab* a blazing sign
Of my identity
I step out into the open world
And a torrent of whispers unfurl
Suddenly around me
Amid the stares, the looks, the sneers,
Another sunrise, another sun set, another day gone
Time flies and waits for no one
Ready or not the tick tock of the clock song
Always moving always going
Want to slow down but no time for that
There once was a dragon.
He breathed fire.
He was bright pink with golden stripes.
But he wasn’t a mean dragon.
He was a nice dragon who flew around and gave people cotton candy.
As a little girl, I wonder what I will be.
Too many troubles, but all I can do is be me.
Negativity is all I see.
And I wonder what this world will be.
Where Life Takes us, is up to me.
I'm just walkingOn an adventure you might sayThrough day & night Who knows what I might find?We may just be lost in the wildWhere the wild things are What do we know?
We were born alone
to fight the unknown.
God only knows
how much longer
we can go. The internal
battles are stuggles
we keep in bottles.
Trying to express who
we are in a civilization
They are broken, shaking, bitter and lost—
I know it well.
I have been standing in the dark
Shadowy corner of my cave,
Shivering in the mildewed enclosure.
I have scraped at these rocks
Her beauty doth shine as ‘twould make the sun
Itself seem as though ‘twere but a mere coal.
A match for her, there is never a one,
Blows harsh hits of rality
with strikes so hard they cause
internal bleeding. The wounds
appear to be only surface deep
but mentally these wounds cause
mental catastrophic fatalities
That Life we Live
We don't live the life of boredom
We are free, we are birds
We are always on the move
seeing new things, & new things seeing us..
When I’m standing at this ridge between today and tomorrow,
And I’m learning to fix my mouth to call myself a woman,
And l scratch for the crack of a niche in which I’ll fall into place,
I exhale and I write.
I intend to leave my footprints wherever I go Where I'm going only the heavens know I'm going to live my life,not fast, but slow Indulging in the hardships of becoming successful Walk in my shoes, my life is anything but a joke Travel from being h
I cry every time I think about what you're going through
But we all have problems and make mistakes, its true....
No one is perfect, look around and you'll see
that no one is perfect, even including me
Sometimes people lose themselves-
in themselves.
Swimming through blockaded passageways
of unchanneled thought and emotion,
searching for a discord.
Why do I write?
Someone may ask,
See me I write,
Cause there's no one that can understand,
The traitors of the past were never washed away
They have procreated and created the haters of today
They continue to feed of negativity
And deter you from accomplishing any relative impossibility
Calluses riddle his palms that were tender once
Marks of the weary
Marks of the worried
Bags under his eyes darken already dark skin
Traces of the teary
Traces of the tired
Part I: The Path lit by Darkness
Dear little light,
My little light,
Why did you fly away?
The Darkness has come and taken me,
Now who hath I to help me see?
Part I: The Path lit by Darkness
Dear little light,
My little light,
Why did you fly away?
The Darkness has come and taken me,
Now who hath I to help me see?
I look out at my face in the mirror pasted to the bathroom stallMy ears hear my heart break and as my knees begin to fallI realize nothing is left for me here but an oblivion of nothingness
It's kinda funny how when you're small all you dream about is growing tall and becoming an adult.
But they never said life would be this hard. It's not all sugar plums and fairy tales.
I've always been told be all you can be
"On the rate you're going you have so much to achieve"
That's what I would tell myself yet, to some that's not what it seems
Make straight A's become All-Area and 1st team
I’ve grown cold, numb to the hurt I used to feel because of you. Never will I shed another tear because of you. You played me. Us I no longer see the world through innocent naive eyes. You made me grow up.
I trek across a wasted land with cries of death around.
The crows are mocking at my name, my knees fail, sinking to the ground.
The earth bites into my bare flesh as though it is not there.
Ah, Life. The Great Uniter, The Great Divider. So many burdens to bear, so many battles to fight, so many ways to fall. Are you strong enough to walk, powerful enough to run this race?
My mind speaks louder than my mouth
Overloaded with plans and memories
Trying to figure out a way out of this mysteries.
I wish I could rewind
And empty this mind
I guess that what we call life
You have a castle for a mind and those flags
They don't bear enough welcome
Put your drawbridge down
We won't all hurt you how some have
Call off the guards and stone walls
I'm shutting down
What else am I to do?
Till you come around
Till then I'll wait for you
So broken
How I feel inside
words unspoken
All these feelings denied
Depending on a soul with never vanish a burden.
Heavier and heavier, brick on brick; stress calls the name.
Whisper in response and face the pain.
Doors closed, surrounded by fear, no way to escape...
I’m from beaches and sand
I’m from a shattered life that raises and still stands
From new beginnings with new troubles
I’m from a place destroyed with rubbles
Please don't yell. Please don't shout
Please don’t slam and stop about
Please give me silence, one more night of serene
back to the old days, for one more dream
One single night not waking to a shout
Standing in the wake of destruction
Waiting for the wrong to be right again
Wondering what happened to the love that was once there
Spring time turn to a cold dark bitter winter
Everything was carefree
I'm a person too…
I'm real also…
I have opinions to speak…
Why is it that I can't be heard?…
Is it because you don't think I deserve to say a word?…
Why do you get to decide?…
No one is ever on my side…
What if these tears…
Added up over the years…
Could drown out the screams of the silence that now deafens us…
What is they Could wash away the scars of all the battles we once before lost…
A president, an astronaut, that's what I had envisioned
An actor surviving a 28 car collision
A thread of untruth entwined into a white robe
Strobe lights imitating a holy glow
When I think of struggle, what do I see?
Sunshine over a withered tree?
A person refusing to open their mind
Only scared of what they'll find
Behind this smile lies something underneath, that the naked eye cannot see.
I'm filled with insecurities and worries.
But in time I'll overcome them, just like the protagonist in one of those made up stories.
If love is fleeting
what is the purpose
what is the meaning
an adventure i suppose
to sail its salty seas
weather its harsh storm
to answer its pleas
and struggle to conform
