hopeless

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This whole time I kept wondering why God did this to me, Why would he bring someone so amazing into my life, if he knew we were never going to be?
I am starting to realize that you know you were wrong, Because I was giving you what you wanted all along. You know that she will never treat you better than me,
Just when I think that I am starting to feel okay, Something sets me back, and I find myself crying the next day. Everything that happened continues to mess with my head,
You
You ruined love for me,  Because you made me feel like I could finally have everything that I dreamed it could be. You found me when I was in the darkest place,
You
You ruined love for me,  Because you made me feel like I could finally have everything that I dreamed it could be. You found me when I was in the darkest place,
I read the post and I immediately thought of you, And I know that that is something that I shouldn’t do. But when I read it, my brain began to wonder if it was just a coincidence,
It's a long shot Some David and Goliath shit If Goliath were a whole damn city And everyone bet on David losing And David showed up to the fight refusing     But I'll do it
I pick up the red and black pants that I saw you wearing in those pictures that I look at all the time, And I really thought that by know, I would be able to call you mine.
No matter how many times I tell myself not to, I can't stop myself from watching it, And everytime I do, I am always left feeling like my heart took a hit.
"How did your baseball game?," was the innocent question that I asked that started it all. When I asked you that, I never in a million years thought that I would continue to fall.
Sometimes it's hard to admit it, but sometimes you need to accept defeat, And that the future that you thought you were heading towards ends up not being so sweet.
It's so ironic how after heartbreak, a simple everyday item turns into the things that makes you fall apart, And it doesn't take much for every little thing to remind me of you, even though you were the one who broke my heart.
It was in twenty nineteen, Month of September in seventeen, Black around and not green, Grand father was not been.
I wanted to read but my mind was at work Listing all of the things it had seen, felt, and heard There were days void of hope, there were nights spent in tears Over all my love, dope, had costed me through the years
There is just so much That one person can take. I am so sorry.
The first funeral i attended There wasn’t too much i understood about death  Relationships that were broken Now mended  With shared sadness  
sitting in the hallway emotions are flooding my hands are shaking my heart is thudding   sitting in the hallway hopelessly loving you are right there your beauty is stunning  
  And here i am once again Wondering if i'm even worth it If this is a battle I can't win Maybe i should just give up I've been here before
We view our lives, Through a lens called hope. But mine is cracked, And full of holes
Darkness is to me, Like demons are to Hell. My cold and lonely residence Kept hidden in this shell. "I'll teach you how to smile", they say "I'll teach you how to shine. I'll teach you how to love,
My heart is still yours if you want it it's up for grabs Hanging by the hooks on the back of my door Waiting to be picked in the garden beside my house Sent in a letter, sealed with a kiss
When the mountains call your name. And the streams, they go away.  But the clouds still come your way and the earth begins to shake.    Then the lightning starts the storm, but you still carry on, 
I don't even know what I have left anymore.  Not my family,  Not my friends  (who I don't want to talk to),  Not trust,  or love,  or compassion, or understanding, 
My mind is like a haunted mansion. It's beautiful and big, decorated elegantly.   But there's a hidden mystery. There are unwanted guests, who come and go as they please.  
Will you still be here, when my fingers fall to pieces? Broken glass beneath my toes, a reminder of my own fate. Will you still listen, when the words mean nothing?
Out of the corner of my brainI see it marching in.The dictator over all million little things:Fear.    When fear arrives, the million little things wandering in my mindgo into hiding.They try to surrender.They take their own lives.They are shot do
her words, shatter my resolve like ice smashing my hope to bits and pieces she says I'm over reacting inventing things to finally make friends this isn't how it ends
who you talkin' to wit' that attitude chicks lookin' 'atchu like you something different dude actin' like they know it all when you've said nothing at all, rude
I fill my life, with worthless stuff, knowing full well, it's never enough. others seem happy, so why can't I? I fill my lungs, with another lie. swallow the grief,
The person  Who you  Confided in Told your pain Let them into  Your heart  Those people  Were the ones  We thought  Wouldn't hurt us  In the end They all do
The hardest  Realization I came to  Was that  People leave  Anytime  No one ever stays  And I had to  Come to the  Realization that  I had to be enough  Because in the end 
help me,I want to dieI want that knifeI want the lasting peace I hate meI hate how I have everything,and I still feel like dyingI hate how I cant love her enough
Life Life has no mercy Life takes and never replaces Life will stab you until you die and continue to keep stabbing just to prove that you are worthless without LIFE MY LIFE Depression hits
I don't know what I'm doing or what I have been doing or what I want to do   but it's coming to an end and I'm unsure
A conversation between two people about a boy she’ll never know:   what is it that you like about him? like the one key detail that separates him from the rest  
my grandmother says I’m lazy, yet I am fully aware of the tasks that are meant to be done before me. I am fully aware of the miles of debris left behind my trail.
The lily's have wilted. the daffodils died. i never wanted; or asked for this life. the leaves have all fallen. and winter has come. i hope you won't miss me; because what's done is done.
My soul's in a coma; and no body knows. i act like i'm fine. but i'm broke to the bone. this meat sac is hollow. can you see past my eyes? my body'll follow. from this life, i resign.
i swear the shadows take me, just like i swear that i am fine. i swear that i am hopeless but i swear that i am trying i swear to lift my head up  when others push it down i swear i know my place
Her head is spinning as she Falls slowly into a never ending Plumet of fear and desperation. She floats in the pools of Teenage emotions that most
Dear Toothbrush  
Dear Future,
Living in a world that doesn't exist Soaked and sealed in the darkest sea of lies Drenched in shame and sorrow leaking out of my body Sex every hour with strangers who stared with disgust and pity
                The Black (pt. 2) In seventeen years All the roots have settled The roots are strong, They breathe. In seventeen years Our sun has curated Created Our plentiful harvests
My darling vulnerability,   The days of October are almost gone yet the leaves haven’t yellowed or fallen from their trees
it is difficult to have loved someone who will never feel the same, because a hopeless love is the emptiest and loneliest love there could ever be. lessons can be learned, however,
Nothing works words escape my mind and leave me with nothing i can’t control it anymore noone believes me about how far gone it is oh no they say to stop and do what nothing
do not define by words Do not judge by appearance. Do not speak with hurtful words Do not harm others Do not speak with negativity Do not judge by skin color Do not hide because your afraid
Wait Slow it down Stop Let my mind catch up Ache Something missing Burn My lungs squeeze helplessly
We're the arrows that God uses for his bow, and most of the time, he's missing He's drunk in his backyard and blindly picking us up from the dirt ground
Cut me open tear me apart, This life wasn't chosen, so rip out my heart.   Replace it with stones so that I may turn cold.   Only then will I not care and still know
the term hopeless romantic, serves nothin but a plastic, point of view, that everything and i mean everything, is perfect what chaos could ensue?   sad nights and gender dysphoria
"Why am I so feared?"  I ponder this ages. I ponder this for years.  I am the "Evil Queen," they say.  "Snow White, the poor girl!" they say.  I wasn't always this way...so obsessed with beauty and such
Spiteful Mind, Masochistic Nature, Why must you be here?   Black Outs, Red Rivers, Why must you come so often?   Broken Soul Crushed Heart, How am I still alive?  
She feels like a ghost among the living With no destination or purpose, A mind so big deserves much more then Be simply unnoticed by many. One more step, and she falls on her feet
I am fragile, Like a glass Of wine. One encounter And you can tip Me over. Out spills my pain And emotions That could have Helped you ease your pain, But you can't put me
She grabbed her pearl beads And her room key Left her soul in agony Cold street corners Search for donors Empty handed she won’t be Empty hearted, possibly Dying slowly, audibly
I've always wondered how his skin felt...How his smile looked like...How his voice sounded. I don't remember, I was 3 and the memory is old and fuzzy like cheese left out on a hot week, It roots...Just like the memory.
2016 started out rough I thought it sucked just like everyone else  Then you came into my life  Like a bright fire fly  I though my luck had changed 
The autumn air has become thick Filled with fear and desperation What was once home Has become Hell on earth Destruction rapes the surface While the sky explodes with fire
What can I compare these thoughts to? A bluish, grayish, blackish hue. For when I am happy,  they seem to blend, But an artist would know, black is the end.  The darkness usurps any white I recieve,
How did this come to be? Like the bird that forgets to fly, I am grounded, without purpose. I shout below, why? To know again,
I'm sick I'm out of my head  
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
My hands are about as cold and dead as they can be without actually being dead.   My hair is about as long as can be without actually being long.   My thighs are about
"Hello?" No answer. "Hello?"  I try again. Still, no answer. I call yur name, I get no response. I scream your name. I still get no response. I try to talk to you,
I wrote a poem it was so sad, and into this poem I put everything I had.   When I was through and still feeling blue, I stained the paper with my tears as I thought of you.  
If you told me I was good at poems, Of this man you speak of I'd say I didn't know 'em. I'd say I can't be good at any of this! For I only do it for some, likely, unobtainable bliss.
We start with theCrackling record of “Gloomy Sunday”Playing in the backgroundThe melody goes on slowlyBare feet moving carefullyto the romantic sound300 sextillion stars surround us
shake off this feeling  it's just a phase but my heart takes a beating  when I catch your gaze  the time that he's stealing  my sould it does raze but since I know your feelings 
"Can't put your mind in a cast but broken things aren't meant to last  Like walking on broken glass reminding you bout scars of past cause the world went by so fast  But not you,              your stuck
Eyes red, dried tears on her cheeks; On the roof she sits with pen and paper Describing the beauty of the street lights The sound of the rustling trees
The wind rushed quietly as I made my way down the backroads of my small town Picking up speed, cruising as if there was all the time in the world The sky was a lilac blanket, quiet and still
Once upon a time, In a kingdom far away. There was a mistreated maiden And to her dismay they teased bout her shoes and her hair everyday. I'll let you in on a secret So tell everyone else
"Dancing shadows Deep and dark Flying arrows Met their mark Weary gallows Done their part No more follow Lost their heart Inside is hollow  They lost their spark
"Broken bones Broken mind         How could I           Be so blind Broken hope Broken staff         I though you Once had my back  But it wasn't true As i onced belived 
"The best of us fall sometimes The strongest lose their minds  The warriors break through binds Guided like we wear blinds But the chaos is in our minds We change but not in time
"Just know, It wasn't your fault you left The promises you never kept The clogged up feeling deep in my chest Like my concious refuses to rest Knowing I must complete the quest
"My mind is full of fire The terror can get no higher I need to run away Anything to escape This world so full of pain And memories of the shame As though it didn't leave a stain
"Will anyone see the scars? The marks across my arm? The small little circles Put there in anger But the words burned more If only I knew what they were for Did I do somthing wrong?
i'm not upset i'm not upset i'm not upset i'mnotupseti'mnotupseti'mnotupset i'mnotcrying i'mokay i'll be alive tomorrow and life will move on and what i'm left out of and what i don't get
She stands there Staring at the mirror Multiple thoughts race through her head The voices tell at her They put her down She starts to cry She looks in the mirror She can't recognize this person
Clouds gather overhead Making it hard to leave my bed. Once there was light But now only night And tears that the skies shed.   They blanket the sky Creating the lie That there is no sun
I am the essence of hopelessness. The girl labeled with a disorder I knew nothing about, In only fifth grade, taking two different drugs. But no one ever told me why.  
"Hopeless" is the thing with fangs- That stalks one in the night- And hums a heavy tune- Waiting for the chance to strike-  
SIXTH SYMPHONY   Beethoven is a liar. He would have you believe that he wants you; but behind your back, he is glad to see you go.   Happiness
bruised up barely breathing
Have you ever started to fall? And you realize that you’re falling And you know if you don’t catch yourself soon enough; it’ll turn into crawling.
Depression and I have been dating each other for five years. Depression was a lover that would convince me to bed earlier than anyone ever should. Depression kissed me on the first date, and I haven’t shaken my lover since.
Love is a cannibal chewing on the bones
I feel like a mime, doing eye-catching sign language to someone that is legally blind, but hopelessly I'll continue to look,
Life should be goo
For this I cannot bear. To know you are there and you are not here. To what do I owe the pleasure to the world to thank for the heart ache it has brought upon me.
Look down neat squares of concrete march past straight corners and perfect lines Look ahead glazed eyes move with measured pace fresh minds and stale thoughts Look up
Though my stars be dark and my spirit black It is not without reason that you find this lack Of empathy, pity, mercy, or care For others of similar gare.   My stars were darkened by the sun
Some people told me hell no.. Others said don't go down that road. Many got tired of me, And told me leave them alone And a few said wait until I'm ready.
She had sadness in her eyes Everyday of her life, And no one knew why.   They didn't know The memories that haunted her Each and every day Of her short life.  
I was wondering... 1.      Do I really only have two followers who are interested in talking to me? 2.      Do I not post enough? 3.      Do I seem like a nuisance? 4.      Am I one?
If I saw a person and it was me I wouldn't  feel nothing because I don't regret what I see in front of my eyes.
She isn't hopeless She isn't worthless She isn't mediocre She isn't ugly She isn't alone  She knows this.   She feels hate She feels shame She feels guilt She feels regret
Some not all can see, But we all have flaws don't we? Flawless is not me.
Dealing Small, fractured bones Dealing Life-changing codes Dealing Broken homes Dealing Depression grows   Overcoming Healing wounds Overcoming Death assumed
I walk on this lonely road
The door finally closes, another day spent, Another act finished, but I’m not content.   I look in the mirror, stare into my eyes – Were they fooled today by my act, my disguise?  
I was born a joker, never a king, never any good at chess. But I was thrown from my castle when you made that play where you loved him more and liked me less. but I digress...
Light feet beat out the rhythm lodged within the recesses of her wild mind,bringing to lifethe sweet melodiesof Mother Earth.Soft lips sing the truth of the world
Her eyes sparkled like onyx But her head was bald She walked slow but steady Wasn't sure about life but she was ready And she  Was beautiful He lost half his face in the blast
Bullies and parents put me down
Everyday feels the same, like im going insane, trying to stay in this game, No one knows, what I dare not show, And no matter where I go, You are there, showing you don't care
I can’t ignore the voices Circling in my head Do it, do it now I can’t ignore the images Rewinding in a never-ending cycle
Loneliness circles overhead
I come fro
Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, and i don't want to be saved Sometimes i imagine a tombstone, with my full name engraved I dream of my funeral, the people who would cry,
Don't look now, child The world has gone to war They don't care that you're just a child To them, you're one soldier more. - Those aren't gunshots you hear now Those aren't dying screams
i made it a day without you and looks where its got me I'm covered in filth and there's no one to stop me 
1: My doors closed shut without any mercy to let free me.
Your role in my life is irreplaceable Me without you, is the earth without the sun Depression is an understatement Pain is a quicksand, and I’m drowning in sorrow   My brother’s life was ended premature
I've got a 2 A.M date with a pack of smokes in my friends back yard where the grass is over grown and I've got a 9 A.M date with a group of people that always make me late for school or for life.
When I used to look in the mirror, I would see A girl who struggled, but yet was sometimes pretty. I struggled with my relationship with my family. Although they clothed, fed, housed, and spoiled me,
Her eyes protrude the needle cuts through her vein she can't escape
I meander through the neighborhood, searching for the house. Once found, I happily jump the 5 steps to the front door and pass a silhouette smoking a cigg.
I was in a jar  No hands could untwist my lid Trapped. I was in a car No hands could break glass Save me I was in a house No hands could crack through
Strolling the dark street / I’m walking with a cold gaze / Have I declared defeat... / running through life's maze? / I remember a phrase / “Mend the wound, Forbid distress” /
I wanna take someone's soul out there heart and put it in mines but no matter how hard I try to become someone different the reality is always permitted ...
Hope, for me, is a place uncharted and extremely over grown. 
Things like this don’t go away The sadness builds as you try to be strong Some days you can’t even get out of bed You don’t tell the ones you love If you do they get mad Like it’s your fault you’re sad
Broken roads engulfed with rubble A heart apiece, blind eyes focusing Who can stand to face the trouble The hearts that burn, spurned Eager to face another day, wanting
Water rushing through the mountain valleys dragging every stone not firmly rooted,  drowning just to resurface in an unknown region. And before long, the current sweeps the few, back under its brute force again.
So lost, still lookingWhere's the never found?I gaze with fixed eyesThis dark quest has me cemented My heart is dementedMy whole solution is buried Underneath the land of the hopeless
Waiting to be free;
This is for those who can't stand up and speak.   And if they ever did, they would come across as weak.   The ones who are lonely, hurt, alone, and broken.  
Here I sit, once again, pondering why Why did I take this class? Am I crazy? I tap and tutter, releasing a sigh. I don't understand; study more, lazy. Chemistry, O Chemistry, thou art death.
"Laugh," they said. 
I down another bottle To wash the pain away. For a brief moment, I feel a bit okay.
Unprepared for whats to come...not asking forgiveness for what ive done   living life like if theres no consequenses... ending up like this was not my intention  
 I see you. You see me. Our eyes meet, But out mouths don't speak.  
i am in titanium cuffs locked by my inner thoughts im chained to a brick wall with chains crafted by my dark past i am bundled and gagged with rags weaved from my own fear and doubt and i have lost control.  
when we speak, do we listen? should we let a word slip to nothing, the meaning may not remain if you take out a single piece the puzzle becomes incomplete we say we understand, but I must admit that what makes me feel
Battle scars and broken armor That's how I see you A beautiful soul in a ravaged body With nothing there's hope, without hope there's nothing
Dreamer, I am a scatter brained, introverted, unstable dreamer. My hope is rooted in my faith, my faith is in these cereberal illusions that cause denial and confusion.
Barefoot dances on summer nights
I’m unstable The earth shakes in me like a thousand drumbeats Drumbeats that quiver and reverberate through my bones The tectonics shake and the supports fall out
Pretending to be strong for everyone else, while collapsing everyday under the weight of my despair, too tired to fight off my demons that choke back my hope.
i slide it across my wrist showing some brightness to my dark life my heart races as the pain deepens i cry out, but not in misery but for the numbness taking over i gasp for breath
I used to look down a lot My head full of melancholic thoughts And myself  so weighed down I could not stand up.   In fact I was falling, deeper and deeper into a depression
You'd never guess how far you'd go To gain a freedom you've never known. All it takes is that right preson, the right way To help you get through another day. Don't let them tell you that there's no truth
She's diabetic, but you call her fat. So she starves herself and ends up in the hospital. You call him a fag for crying. His mom just died from cancer. Everyone thinks they know everything.
She has cried in the dark for far too long Soul Screaming un born Songs been trying to be Strong Waiting for the right One to come Along   She has been shoved to try and Belong
Nothing – Seeing clear as day In the suffocating black of night But cringing with confusion When the sun sheds its light Knowing there’s an answer Not caring if it’s found
Doesnt matter if  you get a head start. The world's biggest dumbass was, at one point, smart. Look back at what you were. Now you're confused by your very own words. A slip up made you fall down. Can't climb back up. Sit there and drown.
I am lost in a sea of unknown faces, blurred and unimpressionable.  Blending into the class room walls. Spending the school year doing nothing but filling in a desk, and saying present when called upon.
Love is powerful. Love can fly you higher than dope. Love is beautiful.. And also a sign of hope. There's different types of love. Hopefully you can seperate.  
The ghostly chest stilled at the thought.. A future of love brought into existence quick like lightning leaving the taste of heavenly ions on this earthly plane.
one door must close for another to open this is what you all propose the cycle must have broken   closing, closing, closing never to be reopened but on I must keep going,
  They don't understand. The more they put me down , the more I feel like hurting myself.
I spent all day crying over you again. I can’t stop it hurts so much. So maybe you don’t love me as much as I love you.OKAY. FINE.
Life is so predictable and disappointing. At first its perfect and you experience love for the first time. You engage in that perfect first kiss with the boy you've always dreamed of dating.
How extraordinary is a flame. Born from nothing, it is a million vibrant reds, purples, and blues glowing with gold. It is fuelled by desire, and burns with a passion to create, grow and live.
  Fallen down, broken in the streets   Hopeless eyes filled with pain searching for something to eat   The broken, the abandoned and the abused  
It all started one day she got threatened, got made to do something she didn’t want to do thought it would get better, but no, it stayed the same
 
You're so sad, your tears illuminate a dreariness that words can't describe, you're so angry, the wrath of your fury is something you can't hide.
As I grew older, my mind became bolder With every touch of passion, I become clutched I began to write when I began to reason reality, a creative formation status of my full mentality
as you look upon the water reflections shining bright bringing to your memory thoughts from that dark night
If being more than means doing more then I guess I am less than I am young to this field This field of sweat and being stepped on I am a new born to this struggle Not a struggle between you and I
I write for the delinquents who repent. But they hard wired for barbed wire. Those weakened by the cement. That turns their hearts ire into gunfire. For the man who has not but cannot Stumble or falter.
Night confronted her adversary, intrepid, a face of darkness dancing among the stars that brightened it. There he stood, undaunted, head blazing with the fires of Hell.
The lines are blurred by my watery eyes The tears I cry rain down upon my lips I taste the salt running through my cracks
You're asleep in bed tonight, But still here awake in my mind. My heart is restless— Trying to keep up with my thoughts of you. I sit here, staring at the sky. I wish you could see it,
Always Gold By R. M. Otto   I am a cad, I am a liar I want for all but can have none; I yearn for hope but am stricken from it. All I deserve is the fire,
~Hell & Back i’ve seen hell & back i’ve been through here before the scars lie on my back i’ve cried many tears this isn’t fiction this fact i’ve lost friends i’ve gained angels
Broken, Insane, alone. Tearing and destroying Hopelessly falling into pain. Damaged.
Smears of rain on the glass Reflect my watery stare Tears slide off my cheeks And I think Where is the sun in this drudgery of rain Does it require surgery to cease the pain
I Loved you my heart gave you everything And now you say its just a "One Time Thing" I Thought you loved me that we could live happily And open our hearts Freely
WHAT’S WRONG? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW? ANYTHING I’M FEELING YOU’LL JUST USE AGAINST ME DOWN THE ROAD. I KNOW I’M NOT ENTITLED TO FEEL ANYTHING BUT PAIN. I’M DESTINED TO BE ALONE.
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