Light Sky, Heavy Mind
The wind rushed quietly as I made my way down the backroads of my small town
Picking up speed, cruising as if there was all the time in the world
The sky was a lilac blanket, quiet and still
Man life was a thrill I didn’t agree to ender
With music blasting and my body relaxing
I drove
And drove and drove
Until the sound of my surroundings blurred into a single hum
But no matter how serene life looked, it was nothing compared to the chaos in my mind
As I drove past the mustard flowers and wicked trees
I couldn’t help but feel the opposite of at ease:
I was alone
Alone with my thoughts, my impulsivity
The kind no man can escape no matter how fast you drive
How many pills you take
And how many mistakes you make
My thoughts tried to creep back in as I continued down the windy road
Do it! They said
Do it! They filled my head
Until all I was left with was the realization that I didn’t want to be alive
I didn’t have the drive, the want to survive
Continuing on through thinking about all my peers, through blood shot eyes and heavy tears, I realized something yet again:
No matter how much I wanted to stop, I had to keep driving
Because life is more than just surviving day by day,
And the choices we make determine the price we pay
For we have an impact on each other directly—one it was not my choice to take away
That night I thought I’d be dead,
But instead,
Here I am ready to keep on living