Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, and i don't want to be saved

Sometimes i imagine a tombstone, with my full name engraved

I dream of my funeral, the people who would cry,

The picture they would use when everybody walks by.

The people who would speak

The ones who would show their respects online

The ones who would be mad at God for taking me at that time

But whats crazy,

Is that these thoughts comfort me

These thoughts I've envisioned a thousand times

I've thought of different times and different ways,

And I'm simply waiting on the day

No longer scared of death anymore, sometimes I think I'm going crazy

But i think i can endure plenty

But if theres ever a time where i cannot?

I've gone crazy