Turn Back Time

"How did your baseball game?," was the innocent question that I asked that started it all.

When I asked you that, I never in a million years thought that I would continue to fall.

If I could go back in time, as much as I don't want to, I would take back those words that I said,

Because they once filled me with hope, and now they just continue to fill me with dread.

I never thought I would hurt so much because of you,

But I am not at the point that I accepted the fact that I need to move on, and that there is nothing else for me to do.

I really thought that maybe it was the distance between us, and I so badly wanted to believe that it was true,

But I now see that you meant the world to me, but I meant absolutely nothing to you.

I so badly wanted to believe in myself and prove everyone else wrong,

But I think it is time to let it all go, because this has gone on for far too long.

IIf I could turn back time, I would go back and not even allow myself to look at your face,

Because I still see you everywhere, and all those memories are far too hard to replace.

I don't know why I thought I would be good enough to have that "Legally Blonde" moment,

And it makes me feel so stupid for even saying yes to this enrollment.

I look back at the past two years and see that everyone else was always right,

But I so badly wanted to believe that my happy ending was in sight. 

You say it was true, and even though a part of me wants to believe it, I know that I will never hear from you,

And I am at the point where I know there is nothing else that I can do.

Unlike how I usually am, I know I need to throw in the towel and accept what I know is already true,

Because I really did try my best, and there is nothing else left for me to do.

Like an idiot, I will be sitting here waiting for you to try and make the plan,

But I know that that will never happen, because as much as I want it to, I know that you don't want to be my man.

I feel like no matter what I am never going to get over you, and that this is going to hurt like hell,

And I so badly wish that I could go back in time, and make sure that I never fell.

This poem is about: 
Me

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