Suicide prevention
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When I was a teen I had a rat. A white dumbo rat, with red eyes, who was blind. Her name was Fresno, like the California nightcrawlers she bore resemblance to.
This is the story of a young boy
And the bullies who fought agaist him
They kicked, punched, broke his toys
Until one of them met a bitter end
He was walking to his school the long way
If I told you about my darknesswouldyou understand?
Or, would your inability to understand give you cause to reprimand?
Would you treat me differently if I told you how I really feel?
Another day I struggle to reach its darkened end
Battling cryptic thoughts which my demons send
Amidst this emptiness I find myself withering away
Neither caring, nor am I wanting, to see another day
i met my depression for coffee
i wanted to know what I had done to earn her apathy
"why?" i asked
but she sat in silence, watching the rain drops slide down the roof
tears pricked my eyes
A Question
I reach out but no one hears
Within the silence are my worst fears
Why do I look for reason in every day
I tell myself I no longer wish to stay
S-
Suicide. I’m sitting in the bathtub.
The cuts on my arms have already started to clot,
but not before staining the blinding white.
Sometimes I wake up and wonder what keeps me motivated
I keep my foot on the brake while some others accelerated
I've elevated but still hated what I was saying
I was just moving quickly still testing my own patience...
Buck teeth and bright eyes
I was eight years old,
I spent my days out on the playground
all alone in the cold
right by the fence where I would watch traffic behind the monkey bars
I feel hollow on the inside. The only way out is suicide. At least, the only way I think. Haven't thought to visit a shrink. Maybe that's my issue. The fact my immediate reaction is to pierce my tissue. I look to my left. Then to my right.
How messed up is it that we live in a world
Where blue is for boys and pink is for girls
Where it’s better for men to have a gun than a doll
We all play a part of this twisted world. We all fall apart in the rain. We all trip over are useless words. We all regret that one thing every day.
Birds sing and children sing. Time passes by, as I wait here to die. This mortal flesh turns to dust. Enjoy life we must. But how can I? When I wish to end this suffering. All this pain that goes unseen. Laying beneath the stary sky.
She was taken
When she was needed the most
Her pure innocence
Shattered
And only by words
Everyday, people are wanting to die.
Everyday, many people try.
Few are successful,
Others are not.
All of this is dreadful.
Why is none of this taught?
Everyday, people are wanting to die.
Everyday, many people try.
Few are successful,
Others are not.
All of this is dreadful.
Why is none of this taught?
Valleys form in the face of her.
Canyons slice into her arms, exposing the red.
Razor blade winks at her, letting her keep her secrets.
She breaths in her smoke, deep.
"Hey, you're taking forever in there!"
Courage Poem
I am no Superhero! I am Faith Rodriguez and making a difference in this world
I suffer from depression, and I refuse to let fear take hold
I know no other feeling, i've experienced it deeply all my life.
Seeing the baby deer lost on David Attenborough is something I can easily
empathise with.
by Ariel Douglas (14 November 2014)
To you it's an opportunity
To end the life we love
An opportunity to take a chance
To gamble with your life
It all started with a purse. A beautiful deep plum crossbody. Embossed with a household name.
Kate Spade.
When I look back on that day, it as if I am looking through the eyes of someone else.
The throbbing in my wrist, aching disappointment in my chest, and numbness of my mind do not belong to me.
Dear Sister,
I see you in a bind.
I see you trying to make up your mind.
I know you feel like you're running out of time.
If you decide that it's the end...
To the bystander,
What is the use of a camera when it tapes a man falling?
Or when it films a woman drifting to her doom?
As her limp body breaks as she breaks the waves beneath
1/30/18
A boy at the highschool down the street from mine killed himself.
It's sad, I know.
But I'm not sad, I'm livid.
When a child dies,
who is left so wise
as those surviving youth?
Within souls of stone
we all but condone
a deeper death of them all.
With her came a voice, a voice full of joy.
As if she was granted a brand new toy.
I gazed in her eyes, full of affection.
Sadly for me, I saw just my reflection.
To you, I gave the world,
Yet to I, you saw no such need.
Under the worst of circumstances, we met,
I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner.
To you, I gave you my world,
To you, I gave the world,
Yet to I, you saw no such need.
Under the worst of circumstances, we met,
I, being a mess bent on self-destruction, and you, a loner.
To you, I gave you my world,
Drowsiness creeping into my eyes
Reaching up.
Pulling my eyelids down like curtains.
Blocking out the light.
Mind plummeting into darkness.
Hands growing weak.
Unable to fight anymore.
I close my eyes before I sleep
Hoping that my heart will keep,
Wishing that it all won't end
Praying that my soul defends,
Wanting more but showing less
Pleeding for one last breath,
Beauty doesn't always
come easily.
Insecurity will rear its
ugly head.
But you, my love,
You are so
perfect.
To be like you, one could only
wish.
So please
there she was
laid out on a dusty bed
still as a rock
sleeping because
the thoughts in her head
never seemed to stop
oh look, prince charming
handsome as ever
All the dark colors,
Bind me to the ground,
Trapped with the memories
I hate and fear the most.
Burn me to ashes,
And when the wind blows,
My death is everywhere.
All the dark colors,
Suicide is slow. Suicide begins as a small blob, sitting in the dark corners of your mind, black and heavy with emotion. Suicide is always there, always sitting, always whispering.
i'm sorry i was the disappointment i'm sorry i could never figure my shit outi'm sorry i was such an embarrassment i'm sorry i can't fix myselfi'm sorry i'm the reason for your paini'm sorry i thought i matter i'm sorry i thought i could do someth
You told me once that you were fine
I told myself you were right, you’d never lie
I know now where i went wrong
Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
I watched it before
I didn’t speak
You let it happen to me
I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t stand up for myself
The taste of being ignored
Behind a locked door
Was an abuse that became too familiar
Just because they smile doesn't mean they're happy
Cause when you look away, it fades away sadly
When they say they're okay, don't think that they're fine
Cause containing suffering is best done through lies
I promise
I thought the darkness would never get to me
Tears in your eyes
Seems like it will never stop
Never end
You wish for hope but it never seems to come
Hopeless.
Wishing things would end
I am courageous and hopefulI wonder if I will ever truly recoverI hear my ED and OCD thoughtsI see a possible future without recovery and that scares meI want recovery and freedomI am courageous and hopeful
As I’m lying stiff in my bed,
Listening to the empty streets,
Absorbing the buzzing of tiny insects,
And analyzing the peaceful swishing of leaves
As they sway back and forth in the wind,
I inhale.
Whatever you do don't claim your life,
I understand this life isn't easy
I've been to the verge myself.
Death has glory
Only if sacrificed for another.
When you feel depressed, discouraged, or down,
“Practice makes perfect…” she told herself as she tangled her legs between his. That’s what she was taught, the motto running through her head. She didn’t want to be this person; the one that falls into bed to push the pain away.
Today is the day,
the day to rise.
Rise above all that has been lost, all that has been done.
I have been told that hope is lost.
I believed that all hope was lost in this imperceptible darkness
On Monday, she’s weary, teary, and unsure. She is sure that she’ll be able to fake a smile, but unsure if her friends and family will know it’s fake.
You never know, never see
can never really tell for sure because
everyone has different limits
everyone has different heights
and even if it's not
bad for you
it might be bad for them.
you hear the wind breezing through the forest around you
and the crickets chirping almost mournfully in déja vu
finally you hear a horn screaming
The strangers walk past the child,
Unknowingly adding to the burden.
Running from the oddity of the child’s sickness,
Making it seem mild
Or attempting to deny it’s existence.
I went to look at myself in the mirror
And I saw no reflection
Because my fist met the glass earlier that day...
If tonight I found myself missing
I disappeared without a trace
You’d spend your nights wishing
I was home warm and safe
If tonight I took my last breath
Not a word they saidUnspoken words hung aboutPain inside but smiling withoutShe said goodnightAnd away she wentHe asked her to stayTo explain why she leftBut inside she was simply falling apartFeeling nothing is not what they sayNothing is so much
A candle is lit in the windowA year after the darkest of daysEvery song played upon the radioTorments the soul in the saddest of ways.
When Robbin Williams died,Suicide,My family sighed saying, that's just how things are sometimes.
Do you remember when wewent and laid on top of your car, justso we could get drunk onthe stars? Remember how we drove forhours, took four wrong turnsand saw the same small piece of Earth thatwe have called home forEighteen years,then, finally saw
There are shadows
Down the hall
In the corner
On the walls
Words are shallow
I hear voices
Some are deep
Most are small
They direct me
And inform me
Author's Note: This was inspired by the song "Knives and Pens" by Black Veil Brides.
Hello loneliness,
My old friend.
It seems that my plight doesn't end,
For here we meet, yet again.
The wind rushed quietly as I made my way down the backroads of my small town
Picking up speed, cruising as if there was all the time in the world
The sky was a lilac blanket, quiet and still
What’s the easiest way to kill yourself?Funny how smoke twenty a day,fake a smile for the customersand drink heavily at night is neverthe right answer.
school is where they hide their shame, fear, and hurt.
she puts on the smile, laughs at their jokes so they never know how deep they stung.
she couldn't let them know, they would attack her,
Tell me, brother, what do I do with a broken soul?
Tell me, sister, why is sadness all I know?
Tell me, father, why do I feel so alone?
Tell me, mother, how do I make a frail heart whole?
Pushes and punches, teases and screamsNo one ever wanted to listen.No one ever wanted to really see.
She gripped it- cold and silver.
Sharp, stinging to the touch.
My screams were a muffled whisper
My nightly tears – unseen.
My parents were not worried,
Because, “She’s just a normal teen.”
No one cared to listen
So nightly my wrists bled
How could it be?
Someone such as you and me could be so different.
I'm walking around the halls of this school so smiley and cheery.
You're scuffing through them all sad and dreary.
Don't Do It
You're Worthless
You're Too Stupid
You'll Never Make It
You'll Never Be Good Enough
I Didn't Listen
I Did It
I Made It
Don't Do It
It's Too Hard
That night in April was the worst night of my life.
Oh here she goes again
Blades weren't helping
There were no more tears to cry
You say I never smile when I look at you
But it's because these feelings in my chest are petrifying
Like hospital shocks after death
You don’t know my name.
Tell me now.
Why are we sharing the same tears?
I stare in your face,
Yet I remain invisible.
Today is the day
The day to begin
To begin a new life
A new life full of love
Love that will be shared
Be shared to those around
To those around who may have lost
Sometimes Everytime there is a person,
who carries the weight of the world on their shoulders,
There's a scared young girl
Filled with hurt, sadness and pain
Let her voice be heard
When the toes of my shoes dangled off two inch concrete cliffs,
you put a hand on my shoulder.
I wasn't sure if you were going to pull me into you or push.
The cars whizzed by.
Go to sleep, my darling.
Close your pretty eyes.
You’ll never see the morning
If you don’t make it through the night.
My meart stops, my stomach drops,
My bloody hands are shaking, and
“It’s all in your head.”
“Chemical imbalance. You just have to deal with it.”
“You’re just looking for attention.”
Her world held together with a string
Rather our world,
As we sit twenty across and forty back
Red bows in our hair,
We mourn.
Her world was masked by red lip-stick
Face covered the tears
Who are you to tell me what I am and what I’m not
Where I come from, where I’ll go
What I have been through and what I’ve seen
What I will go through and what I’ll be
Who are you to say I am wrong
"What was she thinking?" they sneered
"That's plain dumb, I'd never do that" they judged
Go on
Keep talking shit about matters you are all so obviously ignorant of
I remember that day so many years ago,
The time you texted me and said ‘time for me to go’,
The fear I felt at your careless tone
I can only feel blessed that you trusted me though,
Wake up brush the teeth, wash the face. Avoiding the mirror, can't stand the feeling I get when I stare right at my face.
Disgusting, Weak, Nobody, Sinner.
Hope:
It’s mentioned almost every day,
Tossed around in conversation like a boat at sea,
Its true meaning unknown.
Hope can be seen as a bird by one
And a pen by another.
Minutes, hours, days, years
Graduation, Prom, College
Laughter and
T
E
A
R
S
You weren't there
Hidden behind the shadows underneath all the grass and the meadows. Eyes red from all the many tears and it's all because of you my dear.
Darkness everlasting
Swallowed by failure
Haunted by past mistakes
Meet my inner demons
Laughing, jeering voices
Little peace of mind
Telling me to end it all
Meet my inner demons
Please get up, please get up,
as she holds her lifeless boyfriend around his waist,
she hoped to hear a gasp of air.
You see the pain in her look
How all of her strength
Goes into that smile.
It's hollow though.
You see the darkness beneath.
You could be her candle.
Walking To Blue Cars
An exhausted mother gently lifted her child out of his crib and cradled her small baby boy with periwinkle eyes that fluttered like butterfly wings.
It hit me like a resounding gong,
BANG, like a gun.
I couldn’t even comprehend it.
A life, just gone.
She was so young, so gleeful, so
Positive.
run little baby girl, let the wind and the sirens comfort you as you go, run as fast as you can, get as far away as you can
it's okay, it's not like the others will ever understand
Preventing the Preventable
Written By: Daniel Halloran
What would you change?
Would you change self-harm?
Eating disorders?
Suicidal thoughts?
Suicide thoughts
Going through my head
All I want
Is to be dead
She texted me today
And told me to kill myself
She replied with just joking
I didn't believe it
If I could kiss every malady from the cells on your heart
And the neurons in your brains
Then my mouth would turn red and bloody raw
Because I would not stop until all were healed.
Where have you been?
Can you hear me?
I am having trouble finding you.
Are you under the rocks,
Remember—
Walking in the sand,
wiggling tiny bits and particles,
between your toes,
looking out beyond the waters,
toward the horizon
To where your dreams are directed
War.War within myself,War surrounds me.Inside I'm freedom,but self-made bonds are magnetizing me.
There was constant sobbing
That could not be held in any longer
They sat on their bed looking at their body
They knew that they were not worth the effort
They didn't want to belong on this planet
Standing still was not an option
You wanted to keep climbing, so we kept climbing.
You knew that I had your back
And we were in love so we both knew that.
But why didn’t you call?
these are tumultous times
when men murder, rape, war, and kill
yet escape from there crimes
its sad indeed for this be god's will
is it in my head
this blood needn't be shed
is everyone to wind up dead
The sleeves covered upMy secretsMy nightmaresBut the voices still echo.
When did two words gain the powerto hurt worse than a blade itself?
I feel my pulse throb in my fingers,
Watch as the smoke dances between my swollen digits,
But my head is lost in a haze.
Take another hit, try to fly away,
To rest in the sky for a while,
There are people who find solace in deathI find the angel's path sodden, indifferentThere are those who yearning to lose their breathBut stop themselves with the lord being reverent
There is a songbird with broken wingsWho sits up in his nest and always singsHe sings as he bleedsMuffles his cries and muffles his needsIt's a shame To see such a beautiful creature in so much painHe sings till he achesHis sincerety a fakeBecause
Empty promises, broken hearts,
And tragic endings; they're all just parts
Of where we live and who we are
But the wounds still tend to scar
They leave a mark on mind and soul
Preventing one from being whole
You've left me here, All Alone
Wondering why you let me go
I do believe you've found your Home
Up on high, with me waiting down below
All your problems, they have ceased
The houses of the holy made from rotting pine and ichor
the soft sinew of fallen things abounds
the stench of decomposing things could palpitate a figure
in miasmatic rapture from the grounds
In the depths of pain and sorrow,
I wonder what they revealed.
And I wish they gave friends a chance
Before their fate was sealed
Turning the tables what could that be like?
Would you be the one crying all night?
Would you wake up wishing you could just stop opening your eye’s yeah I wonder what would that be like?
Do you?
Look to your left, and
Look to your right.
Some of those people
May be losing their fight
So don't be afraid to ask,
How are you today?
You might be surprised by what they have to say.
It's three in the morning, the worst kind of call
Someone you love has ended it all
Your world is shattered, your heart is broken
Why couldn't they have been more outspoken?
You would have helped if only you'd known
I have always lived in a world of fantasy
unicorns, mermaids, werewolf's, monsters.
The thoughts and hopes and dreams of a child
feeling beyond her years.
Being made from pataches of different colors
The butterfly rests upon my wrist,
Its wings emblazoned with swirling colors of a Cassia tree
That fade to blue at the edges of its wings,
And accented with a symmetric and swirling pattern
Alone in my room
I think about what happened today
With my relationship and school
I just do not know what to say.
Please know that you are loved
That you are beautiful, powerful, and meaningful
You are alive for a reason
And someone is watching out for you
Live not with your eyes blind,
Or with your heart enclosed.
Don’t believe the whole world is unkind,
Nor that all hope is lost.
Breathing, but barely,
The ship sinks again.
Trying, but not fighting,
And done playing pretend.
Back to the brighter days,
Trust still lies.
I can't try to understand
as the last hope dies.
As I look into your eyes I can see the pain
The smile on your face doesn't mean a thing
I can see the broken promises put you over the edge
Pushed you right to the pills and the deadly sharp edge
Maybe
You’re on the edge and about to jump
Or you’ll go for the gun
The rope looks like the one
The drugs look the most fun
Why?
Because they called you dumb?
Called you a bum?
Shattered
My words are shattered on my tongue
Slicing my gums
Too afraid to swallow
But the words are broken
Will not come out
They cut up my insides
Because I have not let them out
I'm sitting here
On the bathroom floor
The water surrounds me in an ever changing pool of tears
I search the vastness of the floor
And find in my vision
The bottle of pills
Now empty but for a few
Drip, drop, drip, drop.
The crimson tears fall from atop.
Representing my pain and sorrow,
other's happiness I've always had to borrow.
You're the kind of soul that I could wait for
You're the sort of love I'd love the most
You're the thing that keeps my heart from failing
You're the answered prayer that gives me hope
I love you more than life.
I can’t say what I would do
if something stopped life for you.
If the cause was at your own hands
I would be frozen with guilt for what I couldn’t
make you believe.
When things are grim
and I have no one to turn to for love
and support,
I turn on my shower
as hot as it will go and sit under the spray.
Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I sing.
I think about suicide.
