Suicide Song

Sun, 03/01/2015 - 19:10 -- knw0013

Locations

10458
United States
40° 51' 43.8444" N, 73° 53' 9.636" W

Go to sleep, my darling.

Close your pretty eyes.

You’ll never see the morning

 If you don’t make it through the night.

My meart stops, my stomach drops,

My bloody hands are shaking, and

Water’s rushing down my skin

To wash away the red again.

 

I bite my tongue, and hold my breath.

I’m so depressed, I haven’t slept.

I’m full of the thoughts I won’t forget

By lighting that next cigarette.

 

Lights out, Lay down.

 

I’m acting like it’s all right, but that’s a lie.

I’m already gone.

 

Because I’m not all right,

I’m broken inside.

I’m just a mess, and I only wreck

Everything that I touch and all that I find.

 

And I can’t sleep anymore.

I’m having nightmares instead of dreams.

They’re troubling my mind,

And bubbling inside,

opening my eyes.

 

But I’m already gone.

 

So what does it matter?

Why try and save me?

No one cares that I like hands,

Or that purple is my favorite color.

The run away because I sometimes hear voices,

And because I have bipolar.

What if they got to know me? Like really know me?

Would that make it worse or better?

What would they do if they knew I was raped?

Or how badly I hurt when people leave, but I never learn?

What if they knew I was gay?

And that I wanna crash a car and that I play rugby because it’s what I think I deserve? Pain.

 

But I’m already gone.

 

Then, in my own hands appear razors.

There’s blood in my words.

Mom and Dad please forgive me,

I want no one to hurt.

I promise I love you, even if you don’t believe me after this because I know you won’t get it.

And to all my friends who’ll bereave, if you’re out there at all,

Just know it’s not your fault.

It’s always my choice to choke down pills or pull the trigger

And leave.

 

Because I’m already gone.

 

And Jessi, my dear sister, you’re only 17,

Live, be happy, forgive me, please.

I love you most,

And I promise I’m with you.

You carry my ghost

To protect and to save you,

Should you try the same.

Just please never forget me,

My love, or my name.

 

I just can’t take the pain and the anguish and tears.

So, I step up to the plate, and I face my worst fears.

I can’t take the pain and the anguish and tears.

So, I step up to the plate, and I face my worst fears.

 

Because I’m already gone,

 

So, Mama, lay me down.

I’m ready to die, ready to fly, ready to say goodbye.

Mama, lay me down.

I’m already gone.

 

I don’t want to relive all the memories.

I don’t want to go back through the pain,

Because my storms never seemed like storms to you,

Because from the outside it never looks the same.

 

So, Mama, lay me down.

One last time

Sing me a suicide song,

A sweet lullaby,

 

Because I’m already gone.

 

“Go to sleep, my darling.

Close your pretty eyes.

You’ll never see the morning

If you don’t make it through the night.

 

Lights out, Lay down.”

This poem is about: 
Me

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