If I could kiss every malady from the cells on your heart
And the neurons in your brains
Then my mouth would turn red and bloody raw
Because I would not stop until all were healed.
If you would let me untangle the knots from your hair,
Allowing the monsters that have hooked themselves on your scalp
To run screaming out of your curls down your back out of your life
I would take a razor and shave your head and force them out faster.
There are days when you feel low because the pills
May stop you from shaking but they don’t stop those thoughts
That say you’d be better off dead, I’d be better off without you
On those days I want to shake you silly
Shove ice cream down your throat and sunlight through your veins
To remind you that you are beautiful vital necessary alive
And that you are not useless. You will never be useless.
The nights that I find you curved in on yourself because nothing
Is flowing in you, you can’t draw, you can’t paint, you don’t feel, you can’t feel,
I want to pull you into the bathtub and run hot water over you
Until your skin turns pink then red then peels but is warm.
Because maybe if your body doesn’t feel dead, you won’t feel dead.
And I know that people don’t change for other people
People can’t change for other people, people won’t change for other people
You will not pull yourself out of bed for me, you will not eat for me
You will not force a pen into your hands and draw for me
You have to want that for yourself, and it is not enough for me to want it for you
But if I could make you feel